First timmers and mid 20's

[Natty1806]

Hi

Just thought as there was a thread for the older mums (there words not mine)
that i would start one for the younger ones.

Think AF is on her way (fingers crossed) as i normally have 48-70 cycles this will be my first one at 34/35 days - yippee.

It probably won't happen now, anyway feel free to write away.

TTC 11 month - waiting for appoinment at fertlity clinic.

Hiya all,

Natty and Nicki - DP is still as undecided as yet. Maybe I should start a "my dp is leaving me in limbo" thread or "how do I shake off this burning desire to have another child" thread. CD9 today and was so hoping to at least start trying this month. How are the both of you anyway?

How is everyone else getting on with TTC??

Good luck to you all BTW.

Afternoon All

I am okay today,love it when there are BFP's on MN, we are yet to have one on this thread though.

So all of you ovulating at the mo, get to it so we can have one on here.

I am really happy for the people who get BFP but part of me is as i want it to be me so much.

Anyway hope everyone else is well. x

Hey Everyone

Well we are defineatly getting to it! I'm on CD13. So fingers and legs are crossed at the moment!. I know Natty I get so excited when people get BFP's that I call my DP who really isn't anywhere as near as excited about some stranger who is now pregnant!! He thinks i'm mad.

I agree it's time for someone on this thread to get a BFP. Have you thought about Bribery Bubblez? This has worked a lot for me in the past!

hmmmm bribery, must try that one!

Fingers crossed for you Nicki...xx

Glad you're feeling ok today Natty...xx

Hope that there will be some BFP's on this thread too...

Try things like I won't winge about you watching the football, rugby or tennis for a year. Seems to work for me

Hello ladies, I am just keeping quiet and seeing what happens, I think DH is enjoying all the action and though we discussed TTC this Christmas, he thinks that means I'll get pg immediatley! So I don't really feel as if I am deceiving, just dipping a toe in the water if you like! Still now sure what the body is up too, felt awful yesterday, really bloated and grumpy and I'm spotty, not had spots for years, they are all on my chin. Sound gorgeous don't I!?! It'll be 4 weeks on Fri since I came off the pill so I know it is really early days for me! Good luck to you all and fingers crossed!

Hello ladies, I am just keeping quiet and seeing what happens, I think DH is enjoying all the action and though we discussed TTC this Christmas, he thinks that means I'll get pg immediatley! So I don't really feel as if I am deceiving, just dipping a toe in the water if you like! Still now sure what the body is up too, felt awful yesterday, really bloated and grumpy and I'm spotty, not had spots for years, they are all on my chin. Sound gorgeous don't I!?! It'll be 4 weeks on Fri since I came off the pill so I know it is really early days for me! Good luck to you all and fingers crossed!

Hi to everyone. I'm new to this so please excuse me for jumping in?!

I'm 26, DH 28 and we are beginning discussions about TTC our 1st baby.

I'm hoping all of you can give me a bit of advice!??

DH is really quite desperate to start a family, however I am still a bit unsure. What I really want to know is this - is there ever a 'right' time to start? DH seems so sure in what he wants (even though we have nowhere near enough money IMO) but I just don't know.

I have a beautiful Godson and a neice and newborn nephew and I love spending time with them but the thought of changing my life so drastically terrifies me!!!

I know I'm the only one who can really answer this but I'm interested in other opinions.

Sorry, ramble over.....

I sometimes think, will i be able to afford to have a baby, will i cope with someone needing me 24/7, but i think the pros outweigh the cons (well doubts)

Like you say it is only you who can make the decision. x

Hi PicknMix I agree with Natty I have always wanted a family and I've always been very sure of that but I still have days where the thought of becoming a mother terrifies me and I doubt my ability to be a mother.

I also think that everyone worries about the financial side, we have a baby fund which we each put money into every month. But regardless of how much money you earn, you really can have a baby on a small budget (they don't know whether their clothes are cashmere or cotton!)

The pros definitely outweigh the cons for me. Hope this helps and welcome

xxx

Hey PicknMix.

Having a baby really is a life changing event and no one can stress to you how much so. However, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me, yes it is hard work, but as Natty says, the pros heavily outweigh the cons.

Me and DP decided we wanted children at some point but both our babies were happy little accidents (I should say gifts from God) and I wouldnt for a moment have had it any other way.

DP is the only one in our relationship that works, we have no savings and he only earns roughly £200 per week... Our babies don't want for anything. You don't need half the things people tell you you will. Just a few sleepsuits/baby grows, somewhere for them to sleep, pushchair, bottles (steriliser is an option not a necessity, pan of boiling water does the same thing) nappies and cotton wool, and when they are about 2 months old get a play gym. Before 6 months feeding them only costs £6 per week, unless you breast feed of course, then its free, something I have failed to do both times, but hey, thats life.

I really feel, as someone who was trust (not entirely unwillingly) into motherhood that no, there is no right time. Whenever it happens you will enjoy it because they bring out a part of you that you wont have used before and you will love that you can cope and that you know what is best for the little alien in front of you.

It is not easy, no one says it will be, but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I dont miss pubbing and clubbing and I dont care that my friends rarely come to see me anymore, because the people who I really like spending time with are now my children.

Yes, it is life changing and no, there is no right time (see now why couldnt I have just typed that in the first place?! lol)

trust = Thrust

Excellent advice, thanks for the £6 a week on food, i have always imagined my shopping bill going up by £100 a month, is this slightly unrealistic?

thanks

It is slightly unrealistic even when DS was weaning the only thing extra we bought was some breadsticks and baby porridge! everything else I took a small portion of my dinner and wizzed it... they only need a couple of tablespoons of food a day at first.

Now all I buy him is baby crisp and biccys and about 100 bananas! He still has whatever I have at dinner time ... and lots of it.. but I have never had to buy anymore of it. we used to eat too big a portions anyway! lol good for my waistline!

Think it is going to be cheaper than i thought then, what about nappies -do they cost alot each week?

Think it might just be the essentials that can add up, but i suppose they can be as cheap or as expensive as you like.

How much you saving for you baby find Nicki? I am going to start saving after i get back from hols, to cover my wages when on Mat pay and for prams etc.

sorry fund not find

We put £250 away a month to pay for essentials and to help pay for the loss of my wages as with my job it would be impossible to go back to work with a baby so I will be off work for at least the first 5 years.

Nappies are about £6 a week again.

What great advice Xavielli, i totally agree.

Dont forget that you will also be given a lod of things by friends and family, and dont forget hand-me-downs. We got given so many things when our ds was born that we needn't have bothered buying him clothes for the first 6mths of life. Neighbours that had little ones that had outgrown play gyms and other bits and bobs brought them over - not because we couldnt afford to buy new, but because they didnt want to see them shoved in a cupboard or the loft.

Also you get about £68-69 every four weeks Child Benefit. Maternity pay is 90% for 6 weeks then a meesly £106 per week for 20 weeks.

Re nappies, wipes and milk if you know anyone with a cash and carry card see if you can go with them as the savings on nappies especially are great. Boots do a Parenting Club scheme that sends you vouchers for money off, double points etc

A friend of mine said that there is never a good time financially to have a baby, and no matter what situation you some how manage to cope.

Sorry went on a bit there!

Agree with the boots club Aprilmeadow!

I buy all my nappies,wipes, snacks, baby milk, toiletries and stuff there and put the points on my card. Then every 2-3 weeks I can get wipes for free... they are permanently BOGOF so you get 2 packs of wipes for £2! Bargin!
Also they have alot of BOGOF's on baby wash etc... I didnt use anything on DS til he was 6m + as it can upset the natural skin balance. They sometimes have offers for nappies too... economy packs of pampers baby dry (between 52 and 72 nappies) buy 2 for £16 so thats over a months worth of nappies for £2 less than you would normally pay! Plus in a new mum bounty pack you get £2 off vouchers so can get for £14. Newborn nappies are over £2 cheaper than the baby dries btw... so don't have to worry about that for about 2 months.

I am a bargin hunter! lol

If anybody lives in London there are also lots of great second hand baby shops around, I found them in the london baby guide. They have everything from prams to sterlisers and clothes. Also a bargain place to pick up really expensive baby clothes at a bargin price!.

I'm sure there must be these all over the country but I've only researched where I live.

God I am obsessive I haven't even got a baby yet and I know where to find the bargain shops!

thanks girls, will have to make a trip to london for those bargin shops.

I never think to go into boots, i just usually buy all my stuff from ASDA, will have to change when i have a baby and do some bargin hunting.

x

Hi

(sorry - only just got to a computer)

Thanks for all your help and advice - I know that its an entirely individual thing and no-one else can tell me what to feel but it helps to know the practical stuff to!

I think one of my biggest fears is losing touch with my friends - I only have one friend who already has children (am Godmum to one of hers) but the rest of my friends are nowhere near ready to have children.

My DH says that 'you'll know when you're ready' but I'm not so sure I will!! I'm such a ditherer and hopeless at making decisions - one part of me is so excited about having children with my DH but the other part of me is just so unsure.....

Apologies for rambling AGAIN! Its just nice to have people who understand where I'm coming from to talk to!

TBH PicknMix....you will always be unsure until you hold your baby, then you will know that it was right. I was so unsure when I had DS, it didnt end until he was here. I think its because although people can try and tell you what it will be like, you won't know until your there!

Re: Friends. You wont lose touch if they are real friends. I was 19 when DS was born so I was the only one with kids. One of my friends doesnt like anything to do with babies/ children but she adores DS and loves coming to see him. Yes, you don't see them as much as you would like, but there is nothing to stop you going out to see them on a regular basis. DP pretty much pushes me out the door every wednesday night to do a pub quiz with my friends and I am so grateful for that. Makes me remember that I don't have to stop being me or having mates because I have babies.

As others have surely said.. Only you can decide when is right for you to have a baby, but I think it is just that, a decision and not a gut feeling or instinct that some say it is. There is a primal urge to have children, but only you can choose when. But they are great! I recommend it strongly

Xavielli, thank you for your very wise words - you're the first person to tell me that you think its more of a decision than a gut feeling and I'm so pleased you've said that as it kind of takes the pressure off a bit.

Going back a few posts - in my area there is a huge 'baby sale' held every 6 months or so where new or nearly new baby items are sold at incredibly low prices. My friend went and bought an Ikea changing table for £12 (usually over £100 new). Must be worth a look!!