The Elderberry Pavlovas skipping down the yellow brick road of positivity, thread 13 - lucky for some?!?

[Bunnygirlie]

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Its a lovely idea rp.
Both my sil and next door neighbour offered that to me after my 2nd mc, but we're stubborn and wanting to try again naturally. one thing I'd say is it would be incredibly hard for you, carrying a baby but knowing it wouldn't be you're at the end of it. Think hard about it.

Tally I have thought about it, but I think it would be even worse knowing what DSis had been through and knowing that I might have helped her and didn't. And it's not like I'd be giving the DC away to some random person, it'd be my own DNiece/ Nephew.

DSis3 had cancer which they think has affected her fertility and now she has the endometriosis too. Her H has said he will not think about IVF even if that would help them as it's unnatural but I wonder if surrogacy is something they would consider.

Yeah, I think I will ask her how she feels about surrogacy generally and if she says 'Fine but who could I get to be my surrogate?' then I could mention it.

I do want my own DC first though, so given how long it is taking us, not sure whether to say anything or not!!

I think it's admirable of you to be thinking of her while you are struggling for yourselves as well. It does sound like she's gone through a horrendous time, and what you are thinking of offering is amazing. Does she know you are trying at the moment? Would she be open to having the discussion? It's such an amazing option, but I'm not sure what dh would think if he thinks IVF is unnatural - surrogacy would involve a fair amount of doctor intervention as well.
Fc that you manage to conceive soon so it's something you can put on the table for her xxxx

RP, your poor sister - it doesn't seem fair that some people get way more than their fair share of illness. I think it's a very good idea for you to talk to her about the surrogacy idea in general as she can at least consider her options.

Sorry if I'm out of line here, but I think her DH's perspective is kind of odd...isn't a lot of medical practice 'unnatural'? Would he refuse a blood transfusion or a hip replacement?

boom seriously??? Mr boom needs to start cleaning up shit umpteen times a day and then have a think about whether this is really working!!! Having said that, I will ask my mate who's a vet

boodle this is VERY rich coming from me but there is still a chance!

bunny basically what pip said but I wouldn't have said it nearly as well

Right, bunnies where the effinghell is my af?!! 16 dpo and bfn! Can't book any of my work for the next 2 weeks until it comes as I've 4 hospital appointments to book once it arrives grrr!!!

Thanks for the sympathies berries x

Oh dear pip was it a terrible toddler? Hope you get your egg collection soon!

RP sorry to hear about your sister, how awful for her

sid no worries it was a good tear as your words were so lovely!

Hey kitty thanks, sorry AF hasn't turned up when you want her to! I know you just wanna get on with everything!

Boodle, you're not out of line...... BIL, on the other hand...! Anyhow it's kind of moot as they don't qualify for funded IVF and can't afford it. DSis is British but lives abroad so she would need to come over here for it, I think.

Kitty, sorry, I haven't followed your ins and outs that closely: if AF isn't here is there any chance of good news for you? Despite BFN?

What about you Boodle?

No spotting or AF still. I'm fed up now and have gone all weepy. Lame.

ahhh! I'm starting to wonder if I want kids. next doors 5yr old twins, G and A, who I love and enjoy spending time with, have 'friends' round. G has burst out crying at least 10 times so far today, mostly caused by her friend doing things like spitting at her, pulling her hair or barging her on the trampoline. The trouble is, G is a drama queen and makes it sound like she's dying. I don't know the friends or their parents, so I don't feel I can say anything, but I wish they would just go home and leave the kids alone. Another neighbour over the fence has resorted to shouting insulting requests to stop screaming.

sorry, rant over. dh is home to calm me down. xxxx

Sorry Bunny and sorry you're still in limbo Boodle and kitty . I'm there with you. Still no proper AF aftwr 4 days of spotting (I always get one day of it) and no spotting yet this morning. Off on another road trip now though, so you won't hear me moaning about it for a while, by which time I should have had AF properly, wept again, and got on with the next cycle.....
Hope you're all doing better by the time I check in again.

Oh don't be weepy.....

It is such a weird rollercoaster. Some days I just think, I'm only 34, we just have to keep going, it'll be fine--and other days I think, FUCK I'M 34 ALREADY, this will never happen.

Afternoon Berries old and new!! Can't read back too far on my phone so apologies if I've missed anything important. Am not ignoring anyone!
Pip good luck for Wednesday. Hope things start happening for you then.
Sorry to all of those waiting on AF. She's never there when you actually need her! Hopefully you'll be getting BFPs instead!
Tally your children would obviously be far more well behaved. There's some right brats arrived at our hotel in the last few days. Have had to stop myself from putting my teacher's head on!
Today is our one year anniversary of TTC - not that that's something to celebrate! We were in Greece then too and thought that would be our last hols with just the 2 of us - how naive we were!!

Hi berries!
High fives and fist bumps to boom and tally
Air kisses to rum

How were your weekends?

No news chez Change. No response from OPKs this month, so have emailed a private obs/gyn clinic near work to get an appointment for tests, because they'll do them all in one hit, rather than the last time on the NHS when they do them one at a time over the course of many months. A friend has been to this clinic and said they are great, and will also do egg store and quality tests, which I've not had before.

And we've done the thing MOST guaranteed to instaduff me - booked our wedding for 10 months time!

Hugs boodle from one weeper to another x

Oh deartally some kiddiwinks are just horrible!

barking hope you are able to enjoy your trip even though you are in limbo

happy sorry to hear you hit the horrid anniversary, I hit it in June, horrible isn't it

Ooh spare another berry planning a wedding!

I am now just concentrating on the fact it's 5 weeks tomorrow till FC appt!

Thanks for the sympathy, RP and Bunny, and I'm returning it to you and the other poor Berries in limbo (especially Barking and Kitty)

I've tried to distract myself this afternoon with home improvement projects. It hasn't worked brilliantly. Please, AF, this game of hide and seek is not funny; show your ugly face!

Crappy innit boodle when our bodies won't play ball!

I've had a weird cycle too, no sign of my usual itchy bitch a week before AF, and then just one day of spotting rather than 3. I guess a teeny part of me thought this difference might mean something

Call from the clinic, it's all systems go for Wednesday!

Tally I find other people's children to be unbearable.
The problem with the friends and child that we had staying was not the toddler herself, she was lovely, but the parents, who are also lovely but we have slightly different views on parenting. I think it's the teacher in me. I'm a bit more 'telling off' than a lot of other people.

Bunny, had you changed anything this month that might have caused those improvements?

Hooray, Pip! That's great news after the let down of not getting it done today.

Yay pip so what is the process after egg collection my dear? Excuse my ignorance x

boodle I don't think so, I had 3 weeks off the booze and I have been eating quite healthily but nothing majorly different!

Bunny well DH comes with me and provides his 'contribution'. Then its all stuck in a petri dish and left to get on with it (may be something more complicated than that). After 3 or 5 days, depending on how things are getting on they pick the best one and pop it back.
After that its the good old TWW.

Hi Sidney, peeling not started yet but I became the joke in the office with all my red/white bits oh and a shiny forehead :-/

On the doctor front, well, erm dumbarse here got the wrong Monday! It's next week. Waiting room full of people too all to hear my faux par!
The moral of this people is always listen, check and write down the right date!

I did pick up a digi ov test so I shall be trying these to see if I get a positive, ever, at anytime.......

Sorry some Berries are having a poop time today (those in limbo and Boom with her literal poop)

Is there a Facebook page for us wrinklies?

peasant I'm never pregnant lol! Been ttc for 25 months and never once seen a bfp! As soon as my af comes I can start iui! Just so happens that I'm 16dpo pre iui!

Re your sister, I really can't imagine carrying a baby for 9 months and then giving it to someone else, regardless of whether it was genetically mine. However, in answer to your question, it is physically possible to remove her eggs and freeze them as embryos with her dp's sperm (they actually defrost better as embryos anyway). Hate to say but I think your (understandably) thinking with your heart and not your head

boodle I totally share your angst today! I'm on lrw literally every half an hour!

So I've booked some Accupuncture for this weekend. She specialises in fertility. Got a good feeling about her

marie yes, we have a not so secret secret Facebook group if you want to join? Just pm me your Facebook name and what your profile pic looks like

peasant I think offering to be a surrogate would be a wonderful thing to do, as long as you're doing it for her and not because of your own maternal feelings. I've often thought that if the need arose I'd offer, although after having my own family; given my screwed-up hormones, it's unlikely to ever happen, but I'd still make the offer if it were for my sister or close friend. However, if you're thinking of being a surrogate with his sperm and your sister's egg, it would still be a case of IVF - how would he feel about that?

bunny everything that Sid said plus some and .

boodle sorry you got BFN, that sucks. At least you have your longer LP as a consolation prize, will save your place in the helicopter for next cycle x

Kitty but have you pimped? (Wang me if you have and I missed it)

Pip oh hooray, I thought your whole cycle had been cancelled but it's just been postponed by a couple of days? Great news!

Tally I can't stand other people's kids. I always smugly think 'I could do better'

spare ooh very exciting re: wedding!

Sorry all, can't scroll back any further but hello to all that I haven't name checked!

Have calmed down a bit re: Boomdog II's pooing. Mr Boom took him to the vet today and they think he's actually got something wrong with his bowels. So now don't I feel mean?!