TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

[freedom2011]

hi seaview I want to get on with IVF asap but DH feels we haven't given chinese doctor enough off a chance yet. I will see what chinese doctor says at next appointment

Euro those dates are hard. I had 2 friends due around the same time as me (had I not miscarried) and whilst happy for them that their babies arrived safe and sound it was tinged with sadness that I wasn't holding my own baby especially as they were on number 3 and number 2 respectively. it is hard and ok to recognise you feel sad sometimes. thanks for your reminder that it is not a zero sum game seaview this is a wise comment

[mrsden]

Seaview, that is wonderful that you're nearing the end of the tb treatment. I'm sure you'll cope just fine with the injections, the first one is the worst and then it's so easy you'll wonder what you were worried about.

Free, the Chinese stuff sounds interesting. What do they mean by getting you warmer? Are they looking for your temps to increase?

Joy, your friend sounds incredibly insensitive. I assume she knows what you've been through in which case I think she's being quite mean to you. I think I'd kick her off my Xmas card list.

I haven't been back to see the dr since the failed Ivf, I just haven't been able to face it even though we were supposed to make an appointment for a follow up. I wanted to forget about clinics and Ivf for a time and I couldn't face being poked around anymore, The thing is I k kw what they're going to say, ec was done too early. Except they'll phrase it in such a way so as to free themselves of any blame. I might try to make an appointment for mid August and ill tell them I think the Ivf has broken me. We will be doing the next round mid or end of October, we have house guests early October and I can't do this with people in my space. If this next round doesn't work then I think we'll move clinics for our final attempt, that will probably be in jan. if that doesn't work then it will be time out to think about our options. FInancially, we cannot keep going with Ivf and also emotionally I think it would be time to stop then.

[eurozammo]

joy it's lovely to hear from you. How wonderful that you have funds for another go.

I might have to come and lick you - I need the magic weightloss bug! I have really piled on the pounds this year. (But more seriously, I hope you are recovered now.)

I'm also having hypno (or rather, I'm about to start), but for a different reason. I really struggle with being knocked out for EC and get myself in a right state for the lead up. I want to learn some self-hypnosis techniques to see if that helps me through. I hope my lady is less woo than yours!

Sorry for the insensitive friend. Some of the comments on this thread make me realise how lucky I am to have good friends around me who have for the most part been very tactful and supportive (and in some cases have been through it themselves).

mrsd that's probably it for holidays until the autumn. I have a huge trial coming up in a couple of months, and prep for that is going to wipe out most of the summer. We're thinking of another week in the Maldives for some winter sun though. It is the most blissfully relaxing place I have ever been.

I completely understand your desire not to be prodded and poked for a while. We are entitled to a follow up at our clinic, but I really can't be bothered.

pout not long to go now!

sea that's right - we're giving it a half-hearted go the old fashioned way this month and then we'll let the scientists loose again next month. We'll probably go natural for that cycle.

Injecting isn't as bad as you think it will be, promise. The first time is odd but then it becomes routine.

[Ginestas]

joy!! Lovely to see you again and I'm pleased to hear you are ok. You sound very sorted and doing everything you can to make the next cycle successful, and I think you should be v proud of yourself. FFS re your BF. Instadiffs still make me feel funny and rubbing it in like that is inexcusable. Your food poisoning sounds hideous! Although I too remember being pleased at the half stone I lost with my Delhi belly on returning from India. I hope Roy is ok.

Oh and I am intrigued by the hypno. I have bad claustrophobia and wondered if hypno could fix it...

Tight hand hold for euro. These dates are always hard. I hope you are ok. I was a bit wistful the other day when I realised that if ivf no 2 had worked, I'd have been due the same time as K Middy. But I do now feel like this frostie was always meant to be.

V exciting pout about Colin returning to his ancestral home next month. My FET was natural cycle, apart from progesterone support after ET. I couldn't deal with the squinting at lines during the fet, so bought those digital ov sticks instead. I have everything crossed for you.

mrsd I think it's a v good idea to wait until your house guests have gone before starting the ivf. I did nothing at all social during my cycles and just wanted to hide away at home! I too didn't have my follow up appt for ages. You will have to ask them what they plan to do to make sure they don't do EC too early again and shout at them a bit

sea hurrah for getting through the TB treatment, you are so nearly there. I have to admit I made Mr G do my injections, but everyone else seems to get on with them fine and I reckon if I'd had to, I could have done it.

lemons hope you are doing ok and not climbing the walls with the pupo wait.

Waves to free, buzz and everyone else.

I had a massive panic the other day as there was blood when I went to the loo, but I'm pretty sure it was from a pile/fissure, which appeared to be bleeding. Nice eh? Bring on the anusol! Must try to stop thinking AF is ever lurking round the corner... I too am sick of the royal baby. Headline news for the 3rd day running FGS.

Anyway have lovely days lovely ladies!

[Absy]

Hello - My I join the thread? DH and I are heading into month 11 of TTC for our first, we're both early 30s.

After a chemical pregnancy around month 4 of TTC, I went to see my GP (private) and managed to get a referral to a gynaecologist as when I'd had a health check a number of years ago the doctor said I might have PCOS as an offhand remark, with no follow up. So, went through all the tests with the gynaecologist (the vaginal ultrasound was a shock ...) and was diagnosed with PCOS. But, I am apparently fertile but with a cycle all over the freaking place which makes it hard to work out times etc. DH has also been tested and had problems with damaged heads (I think?) which the Dr thought was down to heat exposure etc., so DH has had to start taking cold showers, hangs around the flat now in huge boxers to let everything breathe (poor guy - I spent the first week bursting out laughing everytime I saw him in his pants) and will have to go for more tests in a few months, to see if the boxer regime has worked.

It has been rough - although everyone has been all "it doesn't happen straight away!" we still didn't expect it to take this long. It seems friends and family are falling pregnant left right and centre all over the place. Like my best friend at work, decided to TTC a few months after us, started, stopped, started again and fell pregnant on the second cycle and is now five months pregnant. That has been REALLY rough - I'm super happy for her, but can't help thinking "it should be me". It also didn't help that there was one month when my cycle was very long (varies between 27 and 37 days) and she kept on going "I just KNOW you're pregnant, I know you are". When my period arrived, I literally spent every morning before work sobbing my eyes out.

Anyway, I thought I'd join as I don't know anyone in RL who's going through the same thing, and need to vent somewhat.

[eurozammo]

Welcome Absy! This is a lovely supportive thread, if a little quiet at the moment due to some wonderful recent successes!

This is a very tough ride. I found the 12 month anniversary tough. Bizarrely, it's easier now (I'm on cycle 33 now) as the expectation that it could happen naturally is long gone.

With regard to the PCOS, I highly recommend a book called The PCOS Handbook by Theresa Cheung and someone else. Basically, it explains the link between insulin levels and PCOS. If you are overweight, losing weight can help. Even if you are not, eating a low GI diet in order to stabilise blood sugar levels can really help. The Verity PCOS website forums are also helpful.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in my teens and had similar semi-regular cycles in my 20s (I had one every month or thereabouts but they varied by 10 days or so in length). I now try to eat sort of low GI (I am no saint) and I have had acu and try to generally be healthy and my latest scans have shown no sign of it. I'm not sure whether it is due to age or whether I have improved it through diet and lifestyle. My cycles are now very regular, btw.

Gin sorry about the bleeding panic, but I'm glad you found the cause!

[joycep]

Hi mrsd ? we had a lovely holiday. It was only a week but it was just what the doctor ordered. Roy is currently having to eat 75g walnuts each day. It?s a huge amount! Every night I also mix tomato puree with a dash of olive oil and pumpkin seed oil and put it on a ryvita. Apparently there is something in tomato puree that is good for sperm. He no longer has bran flakes for breakfast but instead has porridge oats, chia seeds, pumpkin and sunflower seeds and berries. No milk (apparently contains oestrogen) just hot water. Lunch ? pita bread filled with some protein, watercress, rocket, spinach, red peppers, tomatoes. Basically lots of colour and salad that contains useful vitamins. Dinner ? i prepare a proteing with lots of green veg, some orange veg etc. We use BPA free sandwich bags and containers. There is no way i would have got him to do all this if it was me telling him. It helped it was a fertility nutritionist telling us and quite frankly we will try anything. Roy is sitting down for 16hours a day as well and she told him he has to move around because men aren?t designed to do that. He has lost a stone and a half and still doesn?t have a normal bmp. He doesn?t look overweight at all because he is so tall but he was told the combination of sitting and too much fat around the stomach is bad for sperm. I cycled with a girl and before her 2nd round she met with the nutritionist. The only thing she and her dh did differently was nutrition and count went from something like 5mil at it?s worst to 24mil or something. She?s convinced it was diet. Roy is on a pre-natal supplement too which contains omega 3. I?m on omega 3 oil too. Listen who knows. As I say, for me I would love to be able to freeze something, to have that backup. Perhaps as they said my egg quality is not that good and this may never be possible but considering everything self destructed after day 3 when the sperm dna is suppose to take over, i wonder whether Roy has a more of an issue that we thought. Also we did have icsi and not ivf because of his motility which was a huge surprise. If his sperm can just become supersonic then i hope it will make up for any short comings on my part.
I don?t blame you not rushing to do your follow up. I must say i did mine and it didn?t raise anything really. I thought I would get some answers but not really. I guess for you as well, it is quite obvious what happened. they screwed up. If I was you, I would want to know what they will do differently next time to make sure they don?t make the same mistake again though.

Pout ? you made me giggle as usual. So sorry you didn?t get your flag pressed though especially as i know you had been needle and threading that all year. what a shame! Goodness, the FET is nearly upon you and that?s quite nice i expect that it will be natural. Do you get another round of ivf if you need one or is it just one where you are?

Buzz ? to be fair i?m not sure about embracing other people?s pregnancies either. It?s a nice idea and i have been trying it but actually it depends on who it is and whether my brain and my mood decide whether they deserve it [meow]

Lemon ? the wait is just truly shocking . I hope you are bearing up ok.

Gin ? hypno for claustrophobia sounds like it would be good. I was thinking i would ask my woman to try and nip my fear of flying in the bud. but perhaps i should concentrate on one issue at a time! I?m really sorry about the panic. Thank goodness it was nothing. Anusol is my best friend right now.

Sea ? that?s so great you have come to the end of the antibs. You have been thrown some awful curve balls. I hope the humira injection goes ok. surprised the clinic hasn?t given you some help as to how to do it though. Our paths could be crossing there.

Absy ? welcome , welcome. I hope you have a very short time here. As Euro said the 12 month mark was really hard i remember. Many of us on here have been ladies in waiting for over 3 years now and I find it easier now...probably because I don?t have to anticipate whether i?m pregnant eveyr month because i know it won?t happen naturally! Anyway, hopefully you?ll get some answers soon and you won?t have to wait too much longer for that bfp.

Euro ? you can come and lick me if you want but just a few days of proper eating and not even unhealthily has seen the pounds piling on again. It?s so annoying! I think it?s a good idea about getting hypno for those kinds of fears. I bet your hypno will be woo though ? surely they all are!

[mrsden]

That food sounds very yummy joy. Dh has quite a good diet, we eat lots of tomato based stuff. He has salad for lunch every day and puts seeds on top. I also give him a bag of nuts to eat everyday but I reckon he forgets most of the time. He probably does have too much dairy though. He has been taking a multi vitamin of for make fertility for ages now, it's never made any difference. Something that really annoys me is he still uses the sauna after swimming, I've nagged and nagged him about it and can do no more.

Abys, welcome. I first went to the doctors at 11 months, I knew that there was something wrong because family and friends hadnt taken that long. I agree with euro that the year mark was tough, amazingly it does get easier.

[Buzzybee123]

absy welcome to the thread :)

joy I think it sounds great to be happy for other people and usually I am but I am not at the embracing stage even now, tomorrow I am spending the day with an OT who is just back from Maternity leave, we had a meet up today and she spent time talking about juggling motherhood and work and talked about her child with the other OT who is also back from Maternity leave, its still painful for me as we were all due at the same time except I don't have a baby

[Poutintrout]

sea It's good that you are coming to the end of your TB treatment. As for the whole IVE needles thing if I could manage it anyone can, really! Like mrsd says the first one is the worst because, well you are just so scared and freaked out by the thought of it. After that you realise that it is okay.
How is MrS bearing up?

lemons I have been thinking of you. Not long to wait now till D Day. I am rooting for you.

gin Oh God at blood panic. I'm so glad that it is just piles. Still not the kind of toilet moment that you need though.

joy So glad that you are back BTW! Your diet sounds interesting if not a little hard going. You gave me hope when you mentioned the virtues of tomatoes and puree because we eat shed loads of tomato based pasta sauces. Not sure though that it will be enough to turn MrP's sperm supersonic.
Yep, natural FET is very much a relief. By all accounts it will be very straightforward with little in the way of faffing. There are no scans or blood tests at all, just OPKs. No Progesterone support either which worried me a bit when I read that you gin did have the pessaries. Yep, this is the last chance saloon and the last chance of a funded cycle with the PCT.

mrsd Our follow up appointment after the failed cycle was pretty pointless, bordering on disappointingly vague. If anything being told that I was a little understimulated was a bit soul destroying and I'd rather have not known that.

absy Hello and welcome, may your stay be brief! Like euro said I found the the first year to 18 months the hardest and I used to cry every month my period arrived. It does get better with time. Long cycles must be frustrating. Mine are a little longer than average and I find that annoying so PCOS & very erratic cycles must be infuriating.

Well this whole royal baby thing is becoming beyond grating now. Am I the only one regularly telling the TV to f* off?

I had a seriously peeed off day yesterday. I called my grandmother only to have her outright ask me if I was pregnant yet. I could seriously kill my mother for telling the whole bloody world.

[Poutintrout]

x-posted buzzy I am sorry that you had such a difficult day. Do they know your circumstances or where they just oblivious to how you might be feeling?

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Joy I am so glad to her from you, a I very much remember how down you were. All the steps you are taking sound very positive. It's lovely to have you back, if we all have to be here at all that is!

Yay for impending Colin-warming, Pout. Buzzy might have some spare progesterone

Buzzy sorry you had a rubbish day. It's so hard when you are constantly reminded of past sadness.

Euro sorry you've had tough dates too. But you are so close.

Rabbit are you ok? can't remember when you last posted and I'm on phone.

Absy hello. You are in the right place while you wait.

MrsD I think your timing and plan sounds good. I've packed mine in but that's because of impending doom as far as my ovaries are concerned.

Lemon hope you are coping ok with the wait and no I don't think you are an alcoholic

Sea you must feel a bit like you are moving forward now?

So had my follow up today. MrN was very scathing of the Dr's Botox . No real surprises. Essentially they didn't recommend anything I wanted. Which was a monitoring natural cycle, and then either a LP or a natural IVF. They really thought DE was the only truly worthy path but would support whatever I wanted to do. They did suggest perhaps some implantation support given my CP, probably Heparin (?) maybe steroids and a scratch could also be considered. They are going to send leaflets out. So I think we will do one more before the end of the year, not sure when yet. There have been tears but each time I get the repeated message if just how useless my female bits are, the recovery is faster. I'm now looking forward to the point at which I never have to hear "given your AMH....". Anyway to cheer myself up there is a cake in the oven. Just not a bun.

You know on the Kate/Royal baby thing I'm strangely ok. It is so far removed from reality that it doesn't even really strike me that it is a baby. And I'm certainly not jealous of her. It is real people that make me feel a bit wobbly. But don't get me wrong, the world is mad .

[Buzzybee123]

pout I'll just have to suck it up, I'm not sure how much she knows to be honest, I have some progesterone I can send you if you like at your grandma

nelly on one of the other boards they were saying that clinics like ZW are not paying attention to the AHM results and are more looking at AFC, so other clinics are likely to follow, blood thinners can help with implantation along with the scratch.

lemon Thinking of you

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Hmm just lost a post. Anyway it said that the problem of low AMH has already been substantiated by my poor response. Sigh...

[joycep]

Nelly - please don't give up. You had a cp and if you add in a few other things like aspirin, hep and steroids, this could make all the difference. I wish these docs would forget about the amh bloody tests. I was reading a thread elsewhere last night and Apparently the zita west clinic are getting rid of the test because they can't see a link between it and having a baby. And ZW use to put loads of emphasis on it. You still ovulate, you still produce eggs and in my mind that still gives you a shot.

Pout - it's annoying they can't give you some progesterone support for peace of mind. I wish they would just chuck all these things like pred and heparin at unexained people. Is it worth taking some baby aspirin as well?

[eurozammo]

Morning all.

I'm feeling totally spent this morning. 5 days back at work have completely wiped me out!

nelly that's annoying about the clinic. It's a shame you don't have much choice in your location.

pout my parents never talk about it, and I don't think they have told my grandparents, thankfully.

buzz that sounds tough. It's easy sometimes to think that the BFP will be the end of this, but we have all been through so much that I think there will always be psychological effects.

I had an announcement yesterday - my best friend's little brother's wife is preggo and due in November. It hit me fairly hard. It feels like the next generation is overtaking me. And the baby'll come quite close to our mc due date (23 October).

[mrsden]

nelly my amh is supposed to be really good and I only produced two decent eggs. My clinic takes no notice of Amh except to guide choice of protocol. The fact you can make embryos must say something. I reckon it's worth another shot, but I guess at some point there is a calculation to make about whether you want to give yourself a greater chance. Donor eggs is a wonderful option and is right for many people, but it's not right for everyone and takes a lot of thought. Don't let them push you into it if you're not ready for that step.

pout Colin will soon be back in his proper home. That's wonderful that you can do it without all the drugs.

euro grr at pregnancy announcements, they seem to be coming thick and fast at the moment. Is there a baby boom in the UK? I keep reading people saying they are broody because of the royal one. It's totally alien to me that people can see a baby think I want one and then have one. I do think people don't really think enough about creating another life. I'm fed up of hearing people moan about childcare or not having a big enough house, no money etc then have another and another.

I've had a crap morning too. I've been on this thread since the start, I think joy, euro, pout too? Come on gods, play fair. It has to be our turn surely? I woke up after a dream where everyone is pregnant so felt down straight off. Then I'm putting the bins out and so is my neighbour. There it is, a humongous bump. They were on holiday, then we were so I haven't seen her in 6 weeks or so but I swear there was nothing last time I saw her and now it's a big fat balloon of a bump. I saw it and got that gut kicking feeling, was totally lost for words. I didn't even mention it, muttered hello and walked in and burst into tears. She must think I'm totally weird not to say congratulations, or wow you're pregnant etc. She'll think it's a British thing so I'll get away with it, I might never mention it. It's not fair she's pregnant. He smokes a lot so how can he have sperm that can fertilise? And they have 3 dogs and 2 cats so they shouldn't be able to have a baby too. I got into work and then my colleague is back from paternity leave and proceeds to tell us every detail of the birth. He thinks his wife is so totally amazing, she did it all with no pain relief at home and sang through the contractions. He then did a demonstration of the singing. Gah, he so nearly saw the sharp end of my letter opener. I just logged onto fb and there is a scan photo. A third baby! She's 33 and is having her third.

buzzy did barry post the scan photo in the end? I don't really have a problem with it, it's not the scan more the another announcement and reminder it's not me, but the scan is always so in your face. But yours would never bother me, I think the 10 plussers deserve to announce it in whatever way they wish because it is so wonderful and deserved.

[mrsden]

I know what you mean about the next generation euro my cousin has recently got engaged. I'm dreading the wedding because I know a pregnancy will follow very quickly. He is still a baby to me, I remember him being born. I helped feed and change him, pushed him in the pram etc.

[Poutintrout]

Thanks buzzy for the offer of the Progesterone. I did speak to the nurse about it and she said that my levels are high enough without support. I feel a bit about that but will just trust them on it.
joy I keep meaning to ask about the baby aspirin. I have a few Progesterone pessaries left, do you reckon it would be beneficial to use them anyway?

nelly I am sorry that the dreaded AMH is still dominating your thoughts. It sounds like there were some positives to come from the appointment like the scratch and heparin. Keep trucking chuck!

euro Sorry about the announcement & the crappily timed due date too. Talking of being overtaken by the new generations, I have got the fear about my nephew doing the nasty and getting some trollop diffed. He's still a teenager FFS but I just have a feeling about it.

Awww mrsd you have had the morning from hell! I say steal the diffed one's wheelie bin so you don't have to see her again in the morning & jab the annoying colleague with your letter opener.
I too feel cross about the whole royal baby boom. Not sure why exactly.
Talking of which I am officially boycotting Argos and will never buy any of their gawdy & tawdry tat again. That advert "congratulations to all the Mums and Dads" has given me the rage. If they don't want my barren buck fuck 'em.

[mrsden]

Yuk what an awful advert that sounds pout. I'm very pleased I don't have to suffer that. I did however get an email from m&s it said to celebrate the royal baby, opened it and it was all baby items. They must have got my email from some mailing list that has me in the demographic for having a baby. Probably from all the pregnacare I buy when I'm back in the uk with my boots or tesco cards. Those card people must think I've been pregnant for 3 years.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Just a quick post to say to you, Ladies, I love you . You always say the right things, and your tales of stabbing colleagues and stealing wheelie bins had me sniggering in the toilets. Though i hate that you have had bad mornings. The fact that we can get out of bed most days, let alone bring cheer to the rest of us, makes us all super-awesome (for when only American cheerleading enthusiasm will do). And for the stabby announcements, I will steal Rabbits wisdom. Skip around the place in skimpy pants and a noticeable absence of Tena Lady. Just because you can Don't worry about the fact old age is almost as detrimental to bladder control as shoving a baby out of your foof.

[mrsden]

We love you too nelly! When I had my run in with the neighbour this morning the first thing I thought was i will tell you all and you will understand. No one in real life would. I told dh and he said "I hope she's not planning on a home birth, I do not want to hear that through the lounge wall"

[joycep]

Sorry about all the horrid announcements ladies. Sometimes they just can't be embraced as much as my hypno woman tells me too!

Pout - everyone at my clinic is put on baby aspirin as a matter of course. I remember you have excellent progesterone levels so I don't think you should let it worry you if you can't get hold of more. I would just use them though as you have them.

[Absy]

Thanks for the warm welcome! and thanks for the book suggestion euro - I'll have a look.

The Royal Baby stuff has been a bit rough, but I've ignored it as much as I can.

[Buzzybee123]

nelly its not just down to AMH, but the protocol and the clinic getting the dose right, we have similar AMH's and they managed to get 4 follies on Super Ovulation, as euro says IOTO

pout I am not sure about FET and progesterone levels as you will have a natural ovulation, it can't hurt to take them though, the same with the baby aspirin, they believe it can help with implantation

mrsd sorry about the crap morning, its like a constant slap in the face, agree with pout about the bin smile its not that long now until October for you. No Barry hasn't put the scan up, we've had a few heart to hearts, he is happy about becoming a dad and I don't feel I have the right to take that experience away from him, we are very paths through this process though.

euro that back to work feeling is crap. Where are you in your cycle ?? 18 months ago a friend of mine became a grandfather that was hard to deal with, especially since his daughter is a stupid teenager, although SS have since stepped in.

sea Glad things are moving on for you, you can probably look up injecting on utube :)

lemon thinking of you my lovely

rabbit hope you are ok

I spent the afternoon smiling through gritted teeth as my immature colleague managed to talk about her marriage and baby in pretty much ever conversation, neither events have happened in the last year oh and how her husband wants to try for another baby soon and how he texts to ask her if he can go out on a Monday night [boak] thank feck she is leaving in 3 months, also as she still hasn't lost any of the baby fat bitch face emoticon

better go Kayla has become very affectionate lately and demanding lots of attention probably needs feeding