TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

MrsDen is it a Prostap injection? Mine have been flare protocol which gives a Prostap injection on day 2/3 of your cycle, ( but this is controlled via a progesterone pill). I then start Stimms 2 days later with the idea being that the Prostap, which is a DR drug, actually gives you an initial surge which helps with slow growers. My understanding is that Prostap is given in different circumstances on day 21 and does act like DR. I guess as your AFC is good they want to get them all to grow at the same time which should improve your haul? What little I know about it is it is sort of LP but with a one-off injection instead of daily DR?

[MuddyWellyNelly]

PS I've not noticed any particular side effects on Prostap, don't know how the doses compare though? And it's not pointless, you will have a much better time this cycle. I feel very positive for you :)

[mrsden]

Thanks nelly. I think talking through all of the things that went wrong on the last cycle has put me in a negative mood. Dh has escaped to the home office to avoid my bad mood! I think he'd like a potting shed at the bottom of the garden.

That might be it. The dr didn't give me the name, I know it's a one of injection on day 21ish. So not the usual dr every day for two weeks. We'll be looking at ec the last week of October. Is still have to have the scan next week which I'm dreading because I don't want to be told I have a cyst. I did tell the dr that I thought all my eggs had dried up, he laughed. But then worried me by saying "we'll scan next week to see of you have ovulated".

Rabbit, thinking of you. I hope it's gone ok.

[sarlat]

Pout - oh sweetheart, I am truly sorry, I wish I could take the pain away. A ttc break is essential now. We are all here for you whenever or if ever you want to talk /offload.

den - sounds like a fresh new plan and time for a renewed hope. Downregging might be absolutely fine and totally worth it for a good haul. Your eggs are beautiful and cysts have ben banished I assure you.

rabbit - thinking of you lots and lots.

[Cosmos1]

Oh lovely Pout I'm so upset for you right now, that is just absolutely heartbreaking and gutting. I really hope you're ok. It's just so shitty and the worst feeling ever, and I so hope you manage to take some time and come up with your plan b eventually. Thinking of you and sending huge virtual hugs.

MrsD I had the prostap injection before this medicated FET cycle - it did send me a bit blue but bearable if you know what's causing it iyswim. I think sometimes you (well, I mean me) want the clinic to fill you with confidence that they know what will work another time and when they're just a bit like 'well we can try this' it doesn't seem solid enough, but different approaches can and do work otherwise they wouldn't suggest it.

Rabbit how did it go?

Joy massive good luck for tomorrow will be thinking of you.

Waves everyone else.

[Ginestas]

Oh pout, I'm so bloody sorry. I so so wanted this to work for you and your symptoms sounded promising. I know I can't do anything ( and the last thing you want to see is a preggo), but do let me know if there is anything. You are so lovely and totally don't deserve this ttc shit. Big big hugs.

mrsd I'm pleased to hear they are doing something to try to improve on the last cycle, rather than just doing the same thing again. Ignore all those bad memories - you'll be starting again soon before you know it.

rabbits thinking of you and offering you a big paw hold. Hope everything went ok.

joy lots and lots of good luck for tomoz. Have you had an update on the embies? I'll be thing of you and keeping everything crossed.

Big luffs to everyone else x

[CritterPants]

pout Oh no. I am just so sorry honey. I really thought it had worked and am completely gutted that it didn't. Take all the time you need to recover from this horrible shock. We are all here if and when you need us, but totally understand a break from TTC might be what you need most now.

den I'm sorry the run up to the cycle is so stressful, I think it's inevitable. I have high hopes for you this round, October will be here before you know it. It's great that they are trying a new protocol.

rabbit thinking of you today. Hope it went ok.

joy massive good luck for tomorrow, hope your embies are thriving and that you get some frosties too.

[joycep]

Mrsd - it is hard to feel enthusiastic I know but I think a different protocol is probably a good idea. You have an excellent amh and so downregging is probably more suitable. My clinic downregs people with good reserve. Believe me there is no way your ovaries could have dried out with an excellent amh. EC next month that's what you must concentrate on.
Thanks for good wishes ladies. If I recall from last time they will call me tomorrow morning and tell me at what time they will be opening the embies cage. They haven't been looked at since yesterday morning. I then go round there and hope there is something to transfer.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

Oh pout, I am devastated for you. So so sorry. I am thinking of you, do what you need to, but know we're here if you need or want us.

joy huge good luck for tomorrow! I have high hopes for perfect blasts!

mrsd that sounds like a good meeting, lp should get you more eggs, so maybe some back up in the freezer!

How was yours rabbit?

Thinking of you all, less ill but more menkul than yesterday...

[rabbitonthemoon]

Quick one from me. Things did not go very well. At today's scan I had one non functioning left ovary and two lonely follicles. Fair to say I'm gutted. Speech from cons was pretty scary and I feel, effectively, neutered. Aggressive short protocol straight away (well next month as I started my period mid dildo). Talk of donor eggs. But excellent swimmers and perfect looking womble if I'm looking on the bright side. I feel like shit.

However, pout, if you are reading I have been thinking about you such a lot. I can't bear to think of you so sad. I really hope there is a way you can try again as you have such good results, you've just been terribly unlucky.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

So sorry rabbit! This sounds like a really horrible consultant visit. Handhold and thoughts and luffs. X

[mrsden]

Rabbit, short protocol sounds good. I really do think its worth a shot. You need only one egg. That is excellent that your womble looks good, wasn't that the original problem? I think doctors like to do the tough talking, he must think there's a chance it will work for you if he's going to start you next month. There's so much information to take in isn't there? I feel really drained with it all.

[Buzzybee123]

rabbit it can come as a shock but you have a clearer picture, and you had a early miscarriage not so long ago, so it is possible, IVF could be the answer, if your womble after all you have been through is looking good, then maybe a bit of help with sperm meet egg might be all you need, is this NHS or private?? I think if you can then you should try with your own first, think about DE later, in a few days you'll see things in a better light

mrsd glad your appointment didn't throw up any surprises and that you have a plan in place

pout biggest hug my lovely, life is so shit and unfair

joy fingers crossed for you and your embies tomorrow

lemon fingers crossed for later this week

[mrsden]

Joy, best of luck for tomorrow. I've been willing your babies on. You have a wonderful clutch, you just need a pinch of luck now.

[Cosmos1]

Oh Rabbit that sounds so difficult but I totally agree with what the others have said, it only takes one. Thinking of you and hope you're ok. Big hand hold.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

Still thinking of you pout and rabbit! Take time to digest the news and then make plan!

Good luck w ET joy! I am willing them on to blasts! Less waiting after blast transfer aswell!

Luffs from my hideously early train, to you all!!

[rabbitonthemoon]

Lemon thanks for the early cheer. I am perhaps the worst I've ever been in ttc. I really know now that I will never conceive naturally and will be lucky to even get to egg collection. I feel sick, broken and crushed. Overwhelmingly I feel ashamed that I am infertile and most likely have been for some time. The two cps make me feel as if I can't even bank on the eggs being good quality. After all the unnecessary surgery the nhs could have just scanned my ovaries properly two years ago and given me the bad news then. I can't believe in 12 dildoscans no one has ever said oh look you have an opaque non functional left ovary! before. No wonder my other one is knackered, it explains a lot. I knew I never get left pains. I'm clutching onto the hope that at a different point in my cycle or on another month there may be more but there was no question that the consultant had his 'grave news' face on. It has made me feel even more heavy hearted about ivf. Also I didn't know that donors get paid here now £750 and that has made me feel all sorts of things, the waiting room was full of young girls with their mums and frankly it all felt a bit weird.

Sorry everyone. Pout mutual misery love to you and joy good luck. Ok off to use a few more tissues.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

Well rabbit, crushed, miserable and sad are all very much to be expected, and I think should be part if grieving this news. But you really do not need shame. It is not your fault! It is sad but not shameful! Stamping my foot on my soap box now!!! But know that I am thinking of you, and I think you're way more than the little left ovary! I am sure hare agrees w me!

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Oh rabbit we always blame ourselves but this is totally beyond your control. two follicles could become two eggs (I got.nothing from my left ovary first time around) and you only need one. I am so sorry you feel this way. We have all shed so many tears in this process and i wish that i could show you what the future will bring but I am sure that you and hare will be happy together with a family to call your own. big hugs xx

Good luck today joy!

[Cosmos1]

Rabbit I am really quite angry on your behalf, firstly for the disparity between what previous dildoscanners and this guy have said to you, and also for this guys delivery it sounds like he laid it on thick. Did you tell him you were wavering about the Ivf, was he trying to get you to go ahead? You're right in that ovaries can look so different at different times of the month and if this was cd1 for you then they are likely to be at their quietest no? And I completely agree with lemons, none of us should feel ashamed, only proud of the monumental effort we're prepared to put into this. What was Hare's take on it?

[joycep]

Rabbit - I am so sorry about your appalling day yesterday. I wish i coukd give you a massive hug. I am also surprised that the nhs never scanned you several years ago and I feel angry on your behalf about that. But as much as this was devastating news for you , there IS hope. The evidence: your womble is great, you have had a cp and an early m/c which may sound negative but tells me your eggs are fertilising and getting to blasto. You will be good candidate for ivf.- When they flare you up I bet there will be more than 2 follicles that appear - often they hide. There is no reason to think that your precious follicles cannot produce a good quality egg and as we have seen from Doll, you don't need a dozen eggs to produce a successful pregnancy. Big hand hold, stay strong Rabbit.

Well my fears have been realised, there isn't one blasto apparently. The few still going haven't got to blasto yet and are being very slow. For whatever reason we don't seem to make good embies. I am so cross they decided to risk taking us to this stage after they saw what happened last time. They are going to decide what to do at midday. If feels pretty pointless and hopeless really.

[Ginestas]

Quick hand hold for joy. The ginster wasn't a blasto until day 6 and I've heard that girl embies are slower than boys. Please don't give up yet! I have everything crossed that the embies will continue to develop and you will have something good to transfer.

rabbits I was going to say exactly the same as wat joy has above. It only takes one, as doll has shown, and I'm sure you will get more with all the drugs. But I totally understand how an appointment like that feels like a kick in the guts. X

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Here with a hand joy. They're still there which is the most important thing. I can understand your frustration though. Hang in there. I have everything crossed for you.

[mrsden]

Joy you can have my hand too. I wish I could make it all ok, that's reassuring to hear that the Ginster was a slow grower too. Is it a long wait until tomorrow now?

Rabbit, I wish I could make it all ok for you too. I know there are no words to make it all ok. I'm losing hope, but while there's still something to try there really is still hope. And I so do think Ivf might work for you, the cp show you can ovulate. How much can they really tell from one scan? Why was it never mentioned before?

Ttc shit has really zapped my confidence. I've just spent 5 mins crying in the work loo because some cow of a colleague asked why I had so much grey hair. I'd sort of given up on dyeing it and had hoped it didn't look too bad but clearly not. Why do I have to be gray and barren? Oh no, I'm not in the least bit vain but being beautiful and looking young might be a tiny bit of compensation.

[mrsden]

Rabbit, also please don't let yourself feel ashamed. This is all stuff out of our control. Mrden told me off yesterday because I said I felt like a total failure. It was just that the dr went through all the things that didn't work in the last cycle, didn't respond to drugs as expected, low response, eggs not mature, slow growing, etc etc. and it made me feel like I'm so stupid that I don't even respond in the way they expect like I can't do anything right. Even though our reason for infertility is male factor all the focus is on me and it makes me feel like the worlds biggest loser.