TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

Cos ? i feel so nervous on your behalf. I just want it so much for you. Hang on in there, it really is the most frightful experience. By this point you are at, I remember I was rolling around the bedroom floor balling my eyes out and choking on my tears so i think you are doing very well!. I have no idea how you can keep busy and sane in this period. Sorry you have to deal with a pregnant lady at work at this time. Grrr. I have one at work and i was very happy for her when she told me she was pregnant. I wasn?t so happy yesterday when she was complaining about the humiliation of having an internal scan and how it ruined the excitement of seeing her baby on screen. I had to bite my lip.

The argy like to do hystos if you haven?t had one in the last 4 months but I was told I wouldn?t actually need one this time but i am going to request one because I love having them!! no in fact i am very suspicious of all these pains i have suddenly developed after my erpc. My over active imagination thinks all sorts of nasties are going on.

Sea ? right from the start i have been a bit of a lunatic about getting things tested. Not only was I looking for a reason for our infertility , I also wanted to rule out as much as possible before going down the ivf route. There was nothing wrong with Roy apart from one test showed he had a bug in his prostrate. So I self referred to Andrology. When I went to the argy I asked them whether i should be having more tests like karotyping and they said no. The doctor then said we had done far more tests than was necessary (i hadn?t even told them I had sent blood off to Greece and visited some sexual bug specialist that i got Cos involved with as well ) Normally the argy would recommend things like the sperm frag and karotyping after 3 rounds of ivf. Well i thought that was utter bollocks and quite ridiculous when you are spending so much money anyway. And i have read so many threads where people would say, ?if only i had the karotyping or sperm frag done earlier then it could have saved a lot of heartache...?. They are potentially big issues. I decided karotyping was too expensive before ivf but because i then had 2 beans that died, the Argy did recommend Karotyping immediately. Personally i would recommend the frag test pre-ivf at the argy to unexplained people, just to give you peace of mind and because the argy is so expensive anyway. I probably wouldn?t recommend karotyping because it is very expensive and in fact people tend to have that after a miscarriage plus it takes 4-6 weeks to get those results back. Sorry that was a very long winded answer to your question.

Interesting about clumpy sperm. I have noticed Roy?s has become like this. No signs of AF here. My boobs are ever so slightly sore for the first time since ivf. i washed my hands earlier and with wet hands decided to grasp them to test their soreness and realised i left great big wet hand marks all over my breasts. It looked really dodgy!

I want to thank you all for making me feel better yesterday when I was sat at my desk feeling sorry for myself and blue. You are so lovely and comforting.

Euro I'm sorry you had the weeps this weekend too, you've been through such a lot this past year. I got my period on Saturday and those hormonal crashes are immense aren't they? It's how I imagine the 'baby blues' might feel like. I think it is cathartic and I'm not surprised your visit triggered emotions. Have you firmed up your plan?

Joycep thanks for the fsh fishy words, they made me feel loads better. Some questions for you, is a hysteo like having a scratch? Should I be asking for this? And if there is fragmentation what can be done about it?
I hope you don't really have to go to a meeting after your hysteo.

Cosmos, it must be nail bitingly hard waiting. Hang in there lady, we are all wishing and wishing it to be your turn.

Sea I hope you get good results and get set to cycle. It is your time!

Pout good luck this cycle lovely. And yes about facebook, it really is other people's children book to me at the moment.

Gin, your post made me feel weepy in a happy soppy way. You are so lovely and it meant a lot to know you knew how'd I'd have been feeling. How's that bump? It heartens me that you are still cheering us on.

I have nothing to report. I feel wrung out with ttc, wonky periods, new terms, ivf looming and infertility. I've even thought of just giving up on it ad making do with what I have. I've never thought that before. I'm just so tired of this ongoing uphill climb.

Interesting that a couple of others have the "lumpy spaff" (technical term) issue. grouch was any possible cause or treatment discussed do you remember?

rabbit I hear you on feeling tired and wrung out.

joy how much was the karotyping, if you don't mind me asking?

Euro sorry to state the obvious but it's not dehydration is it? I am trying to increase my own fluid intake to improve bodily fluids so no idea if there might be similar issues with spaff. So sorry the BFN was confirmed.

Mad and Cos yay for being PUPO and Mad what great news about the frostie.

Pout g'luck with the complicated piss sticks!

Lemon I'm glad one of the frosties will be back home soon.

Rabbit I am so sorry you have had a shitty time again. You do sound quite down. It's totally fine to think about giving up. Strangely, it's the only thing that keeps me going. You know I'm here if you need to vent x

Sea I hope the tests give good results.

Joy I am watching your boobs with interest

Work mega busy just now and loads of social stuff too. I'm knackered but hey very little time to think about FTC. Except at the weekend when a mother of twins spent a drunken 30 minutes telling me how awful it was .

Waves to everyone I've missed. I read but rarely find time to post so just imagine what I said

I'm alright nelly just being a whinge bag, I'm knackered which tends to make me more meh than usual about this. I often forget this is about trying to have a child, not just trying. Thank you.

Euro - No idea what the treatment options are because all subsequent follow ups were cancelled after the surprise BFP which won't help us for next time. I know there is no difference for him with fluid intake (his volume for both SA was about 5 mls). Sorry I can't be more helpful, but the Dr we saw was concerned because he had borderline/bad morphology with okay/low counts and well gloopy/jelly sperm.

Morning all.

rabbit and nelly I often think about giving up and just starting the adoption process. I know that it too will be long and stressful and emotional but I am more confident that there will be a child at the end. People keep saying that I need to be positive about this cycle but I can't get my hopes up too high after last time. They said the embryo looked really good then too. I wonder how I will feel about this if we aren't successful. Will I think that I made the right decision or that I wasted years punishing my body for nothing? Man am I cheerful this morning!

joy any sign of her?

Interesting talk of sperm analysis. That's one thing I know nothing about. I keep accepting blindly that MrM's is fine. There's more than enough wrong with me to add that to the mix!

Ok. Coffee break over and back to work. Have a good day everyone.

Rabbit - lovely to see you but sorry you are feeling so meh. This ongoing business can really suck the life out of one's soul. When do you think you will be getting going with things? I am not entirely sure what a hysteo is but my clinic do them firstly to measure the womb so that the doc knows where the best place to put the embryo back is. I am suspicious of this as I thought the embryos floated around all over the place before implantation. Also the trauma is suppose to help implantation so I guess it is like a scratch.
But plenty of people get pregnant with no scratch.

Waves to nelly.

Mad - no sign of her yet but have been having sharp pains. Very strange having long cycles after such short ones. I think it is too easy for people to say think positive as if that has an affect on the final outcome. You have to go with what feels comfortable. There is a balance between hope, realism and self protection. Some will always lean towards the positive whilst others will need to think negatively. It is genetic.

I am with you on the adoption front. I have been thinking about it a lot and wondering when i would say enough is enough. Grieve and move on. I am very determined to become a mother one way or another.

Hello ladies, bobbing on quicky as am in holibibs and have very patchy internet connection.

cos - been thinking about you lots. I agree with not testing until Sunday, just keep yourself distracted and stay positive that this can work. Symptoms at this stage are meaningless. I had none during the 2ww fir this pregnancy but some for miscarriage and sime for cp' etc.

Mad- hoorah for pupo and a beauty for tbe freeze, all looking really good. Keep yourself distracted...baking, cinema etc.

rabbit - oh honey j am dreadfully sorry for the tears and the sad feelings. I totally and utterly understand those feelings. Well done for the event you attended. But do you know what, eveything is still ahead of you. You have so much hope, october is nearly here, am thinkingof you.

Euro - sorry also for the tears. Your ttc pattern is starting to look a bit like mine, m/c followed by cp's, is there any merit in you having a hsg or lap? I am just wondering if sone minor pesky endo is located in an unhelpful place.

aaaggghh battery is dying. Love to all.

rabbit I am sorry that you are feeling deflated. Curiosity got the better of me and I did have a peek at FB and can understand what precipitated your crash. You looked how I feel around children, like you are looking in on a world through a thick glass. FWIW I had a few moments recently where I floated the idea of chucking the towel in. It was during the epic wait for the FET and after we were told that I needed to jump through yet more hoops in the way of cycle monitoring. I sat in the car snivelling on about how I was done and it was all pointless anyway and a waste of my life. In my case I'm not sure that I truly mean't it, it was more an expression of how exasperated and worn down I am. I am sure that once you start the wheels in motion of IVF properly you will get a boost and a renewed sense of fight.

madness I really feel for you during the 2ww. It is a horribly stressful time and I am guessing that you are swinging between trying to believe that it might have happened but tempering that with pessimism to protect yourself in the event that it hasn't. All in all an exhausting see saw of emotions. Great news about getting a frostie.

cosmos how are you doing? I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

joy Good luck with your hysteo tomorrow. Is it where they put fluid in your womb to look at the shape?

nelly I did giggle that you got lumbered with some drunken woman bemoaning the hard work that is twins when we would all give our right arm for that right now. Sometimes you couldn't make this shit up.

sarlat Enjoy your hollibobs.

Oh gosh at lumpy sperm. I hadn't even considered that might be indicative of anything. MrP's can be a bit, erm, solid at times but he always dismisses it as dehydration.

I had a giggle yesterday that made me feel all broody at the same time because it was just so sweet. A little boy of about 8 stopped me to earnestly ask whether my dogs were wolves

cos I'm cheering you on. You are being very patient.

sar I've had a HSG and both tubes were completely clear. I have wondered about a lap though. I had one back when I was about 20, due to painful periods, but anything could have happened since then.

Hope you are doing well!

Trying again, managd to sneakily plug in to cafe sockets. Hope the waitress doesnt see.

Joy - sweetheart, you can make and implant embryos. You have just had horrendous bad luck. Nobody makes 100% good or bad embryos all the time. Watching sore boobs closely.......

sea - fingers crossed for good news from these results. You have been so patient. Luck is due your way soon.

regarding the clumpy thing, I have no tips for that specific issue but I do know tomato products are scientifically priven to boost swimmers of all types of prblems due to lycopene. Try them on v8 or tomatoe juice or soup or pasta tommy sauce every day. Might just push someone over to the right side.

sorry for the typos, am thinking of you all. Xx

Cosmos - Hope you are doing well today and still staying strong, positive and patient.

Mad - If it helps. A v close friend of mine went though 7 ivfs and 2 iuis - no baby. She is now a proud mum of adopted daughter and she tells me she doesn't regret the ivf one bit. She needed to go through the process to get to the place where she had given it her best shot to have a biological child. My other friend who is about to get her adopted child feels the same too.

Joy - I agree with others. I think you will have your baby. Hope pains are manageable and the witch stops messing you around.

Rabbit - Sorry you are feeling down. I think it is so normal to feel like that during this difficult process. It's just so draining. I have up days and down days. Some days I am v positive and think there is no reason why this shouldn't work and I am v fortunate I can afford the time and money the treatment requires of us. Other days I am resentful and angry that something as natural and as seemingly easy as having a baby is still not happening for us. I don't mind FB babies so much. I fine them quite cute. It's preggars posing and holding their stomachs on FB that I cannot stand Grrrrrr....

Thanks ladies for your insight about sperm sample & testing.
I managed to convince Mr Sea to do DNA frag after long chat last night but when I went into the clinic today they said it really wasn't necessary at this stage as his SA was perfectly fine. Grrrrr... I guess I should wait until they suggest it. Immunes retest done... Now more waiting for results.

Euro - I think you asked about cost of karotyping tests. I had this done at CRGH and it cost £250. I think it's the same for male partner as well. They only tested me and not MrS though...

Pout - Love that kid asked you if your doggies were wolves. I bet they are lovely. The dogs, not the kid. Ha!

Sar - Lovely to hear you.

Thanks sea. That's not too bad really.

I loved the wolves comment too.

My karotyping cost £800. WTF?

Joy - Did you do yours at the argy? Maybe there are different kinds of karotyping tests? Mine was just a blood test that took 4 weeks to get the results. Mine were done a year ago and it was just me, not MrS.

Hello Ladies

Third time lucky, I hope you don?t mind me attempting again to join your thread. I have popped in twice before but have always struggled with posting/keeping up (although I am a frequent lurker and have been cheering you all on secretly), however I have a feeling that this would be a nice (not sure that is quite the right word
) place to hang out while we begin our IVF journey. We have been ttc for two years now and after initially it not being a problem we were diagnosed as infertile (male factor) at the beginning of the year. It was quite a blow, as where we live there is no point joining the NHS list and we had no disposable income due to huge house renovation project we were in the middle of.

But here we are a few months later (and one HORRIFFIC A+ announcement that literally took my breath away at the weekend) and I am going in for my initial scan on the at the end of September with the view, all being well, of cycling in October. We are heading to Create, as the mild option appeals to me, although I would prefer to do natural, given my age (31) she recommends the mild option over natural. We?ll see how that pans out.

It has been interesting to read your chat about the sperm analysis, and this is definitely something I want to raise when I go in, as I don?t want to undergo needles rounds of IVF if it turns out it is a waste of time due to that.

Cos ? I have all of my fingers crossed that this is it for you, I am truly impressed that you haven?t actually lost it in the office, I have no idea how I will cope with a 2ww where there might actually be a chance of something happening and I am dreading being with clients during that time?.

Joy ? Sore boobs you say? Here?s hoping you get a lucky ironidiff for the thread. My PMT symptoms vary so much each month, and will often include quite bad nausea, for the first few months when I assumed I would just stop using birth control have lots of sex and get pregnant (pah) I pretty much thought I was pregnant every month as a result of boobs going up a full cupsize or not being able to brush my teeth in the morning without gagging. Now I know better, still a head fuck though.

Rabbit ? I am sorry you had a tough weekend, it sucks, and putting a brave face on can be very hard sometimes.

Euro ? I?m sorry this one didn?t work out for you, but it is good news that you have a plan for next steps, I find a plan always helps.

Nelly ? People moaning about their kids should generally just be quiet if you ask me. But I do sometimes think to myself ?God that looks miserable? when I see parents having a terrible time with small children, then I get very confused as to why I am putting so much time and effort (and shortly cash) into trying to put myself in the same situation! People complaining about pregnancy is the thing that makes me furious, or pregnant women on public transport at rush hour expecting everyone to treat them like queens ? excuse the brief pmt fuelled rant!

Mad ? I really really hope this is the one for you.

Pout ? I am so jealous of dog owners, I would LOVE a dog, but unfortunately you don?t get maternity leave to look after a puppy so it is a no go for me given my job and how much I travel.

Hello to the rest of you that I am sure I have missed ? I am at work and must rush for a meeting!

Hi all

Just popping in briefly (and belatedly) to say I'm really sorry Euro that this wasn't your cycle. I was so hopeful for you. It's just shitty, there is nothing more i can say.

mad and cosmos I've got everything crossed for you and really hoping this round works out. It's about time we had some more BFPs on here.

Rabbit I saw the photos on FB and my heart went out to you, that was an impossibly hard situation and you are a truly generous person. Hand holds to everyone else feeling meh. And I'm with you on dislike of moaning preggos. Can't say I found pregnancy particularly enjoyable but nothing about it could possibly be as hard as not being pregnant and it wound me up to hear other people moaning about something I was so hopelessly grateful for.

I'm joining the others on boob watch joy

A heartfelt thanks to everyone for the good wishes. You are all brilliant generous people. I know how hard it is to see this happen to other people but I hope that after 3 years, an mc and IVF at the age of almost 40 our story gives a little hope. I've tried to keep pictures on FB to a minimum but Mr A has been going overboard so I completely understand if any 10plussers feel the need to hide me, I have been there and I know how crap it is to have to face other people's photos when you're feeling fragile.

Must go, Mr A is home. Love to everyone, thinking of you all.

Hi Art. So nice to hear your lovely story. It definitely gives hope. Sounds like you have a lovely family. All the more treasured after the hardship you had to endure to get there.

Welcome again Ten. This is a nice place to hangout pre, during and post ivf. I'm sorry you find yourself on here. Like you I was v anti putting drugs in my body and that's why I did IUI first but for me it didn't work and now I have decided to take the most drug fuelled approach. I hope the natural approach at Create works for you. Euro is the expert on natural here. She has a wealth on info.

Art hard won babies are much easier to take. And mini-Art is gorgeous. I don't think I see Mr A's pictures anyway, just the ones you put up, so I'm not feeling the overload! Your story is encouraging.

joy I guess you both had it so £400 each isn't wildly different. And the ARGY does seem to be expensive for pretty much everything.

Welcome again Ten. I've done 3 cycles now at Create - two natural and one natural modified. We're planning a stimulated cycle next and just weighing up whether or not to change clinics for it. I think we probably will. I like Create's philosophy as I hate the drug taking, but if you've been reading you will see that I was not completely happy with the care I got when things went a bit wrong on the third cycle. We haven't fully made up our minds yet though.

We went to the open evening at CRGH last night. I liked the staff a lot and what they had to say seemed sensible, but hated the environment - a large and somewhat grotty hospital. However, we've decided to book a consultation to take a look at the consulting area and see what they would recommend for us before we make up our minds where to go next.

Art it is always nice to hear the success stories, especially when they are so hard won.

Sea thanks for the welcome. I am sure that if I have a couple of goes which are milder and unsuccessful I will definitely be calling in the big guns. This has been a real process for me, and I imagine I will just do whatever I can to get there in the end. I think previously I wouldn't have thought twice in heading straight for the lots of drugs option but I had a dodgy smear and cone biopsy at the beginning of the year and a close relative with ovarian cancer which has put the wind up me a bit. We all just do what feels right at the time I guess?

X-post Euro yes I have read your story (sorry if that is wierd) and can appreciate why you would look at other clinics this time around, I will be interested o hear what your thoughts are on CRGH. We haven't even been to any other clinics, as Prof Nurgurd is my NHS consultant anyway so am just blindly following her advice pretty much for at least the first round.

Joy grr at pregnant lady at work complaining about the scan. Some people just don't know their luck. I would've been gritting my teeth at that comment. I did at the thought of you electing for more histos just because you love them so much. What news on the boob and AF front? Oh I so wish you would get an ironic bfp.

Rabbit I hear you on the relentless uphill struggle. Why oh why is it so hard for some of us, it just doesn't make any sense. Hope you're ok.

Interesting chat about spaff and stuff. Can they really do kara typing from a blood test then? I'm not sure i really understand what it is in that case.

Nelly interesting about that mother complaining to you - did it ring true, did you feel sorry for her or did you just think oh get lost with your moaning?! I find it varies depending on how sincere I think people are being.

Sea interesting they said the DNA frag wasn't necessary - it's not all about the money then. When do you expect the results?

Pout I liked the wolves story. . I often think of 'le pout' when I see your name, though I'm not sure i was around for what generated that name.

Euro wow good for you for getting straight on with looking into somewhere else. Hope the consultation goes well and is helpful.

Sar and Art nice to have you popping in, best wishes to you both hope things are going brilliantly.

Welcome back Ten. I agree having a plan always helps, and I think there's something to be said for doing what you feel comfortable with at the stage you're at.

Thank you so much to you all for the good wishes, it makes such a difference doesn't it having people cheer you on. Physically I feel resolutely normal which I'm slightly surprised at with having the additional progesterone injections, I thought I'd be having to ignore lots of false symptoms. Mentally I still feel quite chipper though. I think the advantage of multiple Ivf 2ww's (for me anyway) is that I've already googled every possible related thing on previous rounds so at least am not tempted to torture myself with dr google. The waiting is ages though isn't it, this last week feels like a month. I just want to get to Sunday and get it over with now, rip that plaster off so to speak.

Waves to anyone I missed.

Cos - we are all cheering you and Mad on. It is brutal.

Welcome back ten. This is a very supportive place when going through ivf.

Oh I thought it was very sweet that you all thought my sore boobs may mean something. Weirdly I didn't in the slightest! AF arrived last night so I had a blood test this morning and am now waiting for the dreaded phone call. Argy are very particular that bloods have to be below a certain level to start so scared things have fallen off a cliff.

I have always used my cousin as an example of a woman who had 2 kids in her 40s seemingly effortless (thought it was the power of prayer as at her wedding the vicar devoted a lot of prayer time to fertility) but just found out she had ivf. Makes me strangely happy and suddenly I like her again! Hurrah for ivf and finding someone in the family whi has had it .