TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

Wow, that last bit was garbled!

joy there's a programme called "Food Hospital"? Brilliant. I must track that down.

I hate that people feel ashamed about this stuff. It's really not shameful. One of the reasons I talk about my own experiences quite openly is to try to demystify it and destigmatise it. I am on a one woman mission!

Two kids after 42? There is hope for us yet.

pout I'm not sure that I wouldn't have walked out of that sermon. How awful to use someone's wedding to preach that crap!

I completely agree with you about GPs. They are great for infections and obvious things like that. Anything complex with vague symptoms just tends to get overlooked. I might be completely barking up the wrong tree with the CD thing, but at least it should be checked out.

I marvel at your amazing memories!

Bloody hell, critter! I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry in that situation, I don't think. And I agree with doll, some penile exorcism was surely warranted as well!

doll your big upcoming life changes sound amazing! I hope it's all exciting and wonderful and goes well.

euro is this your 3rd IVF? (I may have been lurking a little.) Good luck! Growing slowly but surely sounds ace. We have our IVF clinic open day shindig this week, so finally feel a little less in limbo and as if something is gearing up to happen soon. (I think this clinic gets on with things quick sharp once you've been seen.) Which is a much better place to be in than the last 2 or so years have been!

Sorry to hear about this cycle, pout. At least postponing the FET means ?

Re feeling crap and tired all the time, I bought Gwyneth Paltrow's latest cookbook (I know, I know) a few months ago in my bid to turn my body into some sort of temple pre-IVF but was really pleasantly surprised by how great I felt with mostly cutting out gluten, dairy and processed sugar. I'm not uber-strict about it, cause I can't be arsed to make a fuss about dietary issues when dining out or at friends' places, and green breakfast smoothies just won't cut it some days, but changing how I cooked most days for myself at home made a big difference & I hadn't even noticed that I was particularly tired, at least more than I thought was just due to ageing and work and life in general. And I was a pretty "healthy" eater before. Also, and I have no idea if this is due to diet, or acupuncture, or yoga, or just random chance, but my levels of EWCM have been soaring in that time as well. (5 days this month! Haven't seen that kind of action in my pants since I was a horny teenager.) Anyway, it's not like I've then magically diffed or anything, but I feel better about going for treatment having tried it.

Ahem. I'll stop crashing your thread now.

Hi rum. You're not crashing. You're just an irregular member!

It will be my third. I did the first in January, so I am motoring through them. We'll have a bit of a break after this one, if it doesn't work.

That's interesting about Gwynnie's cookbook. I wonder why how she manages to look so weak and listless if it has that effect on you!

Hi ten plussers. I am back from hols and feeling much better. Here?s an attempt at catching up?

Lemons ? How are you feeling? A break is good. Hugs to you and Mr Lemons.

Sar ? Hope DH is recovering and you are not feeling so sick anymore. Week 21 already. Wow wow!

Buzzy ? Happy to read you are at 15 wks already and that all is well.

Euro ? I can?t believe you are about to go again. It?s been v quick. Fingers crossed this is the one for you. Sorry to read that you have not been feeling ?right? for so long. I agree with you that it?s nothing to feel ashamed about (but it?s hard not to feel it even if rationally I know it?s not my fault etc). I recently decided to be more open about needing ivf and told a few people that I am good friends with. I have to say it wasn?t easy. They reacted like most people who don?t know much about ivf. I am not sure I will be doing it again soon. re your comment about G Paltrow.

Pout ? Re feeling like you have been ?hit by a bus?. Not sure if you are a believer in Chinese meds. They believe that feeling tired all the time could be some kind of low-grade chronic fatigue. Chinese believe that what you eat and your environment can have a very real effect on your health. ?Dampness? can make you feel tired and foods that contain gluten (pasta, bread) and sugar can make things worst. Candida, eczema, hayfever etc are all signs of ?damp?. Interestingly in the extreme and over a sustained period it can lead to they call ? blood stagnation? and one of the symptoms is large blood clots in your period. I have been using Chinese meds for 15 years and for me I think there is something in it.

Cosmos ? Sorry to hear about black moods. This is a tough journey and our hormones are all over the place. I was in the same place not so long ago. I have to say holiday helped.

Mad ? So so sorry to hear about your drama. I hope you are okay. Last thing you need when you are going through IVF. Fingers crossed this is the one.

Rabbit ? Sorry about the painful clots. I think it?s really worth getting it seen to as others have said especially as you suspect it was a chemical pregnancy. See above re clotty periods generally. I used to suffer from them ? huge clots means "blood stagnation" and little ones mean you are ?cold? and body need warming up (according to the chinese anyway). The best (meaning easy to read and understand) book I have read on this is Emma Cannon?s Baby Making Bible. I should say I got my period stuff looked into way before TTC and wasn?t related to fertility at all. You are right that conventional medicine isn't at all interested in periods and how they are. The chinese however are v interested and believe the state of one's period shows a lot about the woman's health. I used to spend a good 15 minutes describing the consistency, colour etc of period to my chinese doc. Interestingly the chinese also believe periods shouldn't hurt.

Joy - So sorry you had to deal with silly insensitive woman. I feel the same about feeling okay on surface and something small bring the deep wound back up. It definitely makes you withdraw from people. Have you been to the Argy yet to see if they need you to test for anything else before going again?

Critter ? hope you are feeling well. and disbelieve at the bible bashers!

Doll ? How far along are you? Good luck with the move. Sounds exciting.

MrsD ? I think taking time off is sensible. You just don?t need the added stress. I am with you about knowing exact dates. It?s so difficult to plan anything with IVF.

Hope gin, sweet and art are all doing well. Waves to you all. Welcome back rum

AFM, holiday has brought a smile back on my face. 2nd injection of Humira tomorrow and only 1 and a half weeks to go before I finish my 3 months worth of antibiotics for the latent TB. I am taking loads of supplements and hoping it will bring down these pesky little Cytokines so I can do a cycle this year. Other than that I am trying hard to retain the positivity my sunny beach holiday gave me.

Hey everyone - apologies but I'm very bad at remembering to post on chatty long running threads.

I've now looked into stuff further (when I first came on someone suggested going Low GI) and apparently for PCOS, it's recommended to stay away from refined sugar and flour, so I'll try that for a while see if it helps. Last week I got my period again, so DH has been really miserable for the last week (he doesn't take it well), so that's been fun . Fortunately my family, who ordinarily spend their whole lives poking into my business, have not said a word about pregnancy/children etc. - I think they suspect something's up so are being uncharacteristically tactful.

It has been rough the last week, because (as per usual) I found out about even MORE people who are pregnant, one who's 5 months with her second (she gave birth a couple of months before we started trying). One person even posted on FB "I'm 18 weeks and haven't got any books and don't really know what's going on, so can someone give me advice?" and there's me screaming inside "I have LOTS of books! I know all about what you're supposed to do FFS! it should be meeeeeeeeeee"

euro I think it's because I eat way more of her food than she recommends! If I only ate her suggested portion sizes (about half what I do eat), I suspect that I too could be a wilting waif.

Hurrah for that sunny holiday feeling, sea!

Sorry it's been rough lately, absy. And I wish there was a filter on FB for that sort of thing.

That said, I just realised that having had a particularly shite morning at work, I've demolished a jelly & nut butter sandwich for lunch. But it was gluten-free bread and almond butter (nevermind totally packed with sugar), so that makes it all OK, yes?

rum Did you eat your lunch standing up? Because if you did then it doesn't count at all, no calories, it's like it never even happened

sea So great that you enjoyed your holiday so much. How is MrS feeling now? Also glad to hear what great strides you are making with your TB treatment. You'll be cycling before you know it.
It is interesting what you say about the Chinese medicine (I always knew that I was wet!) Seriously it is uncanny the connections between periods and general health. Maybe I ought to at least curb my pasta, bread and cake addiction.

absy sorry that the witch got you. It is strange for me to hear how you DH is more upset than you - mine rarely seems to give a shit!
Good God at all the preggo announcements. at you having all the books and it should be you

Shame, he gets really down. He was saying to me (after one evening of him being completely uncommunicative) "I can't pretend to be happy around you" which is nice, but it's not pleasant to live with.

Well, if it was brown almond butter that's fine, because everything that's brown is healthy naturally (brown bread, brown rice) etc. etc.

Sea - welcome back, glad you had a lovely break and are feeling perkier. Good luck with the final injection tomorrow. Total agree on all the Chinese way of thinking . GPs role seems to be a bit like a sticky plaster, they certainly don't look at you as a whole. I was told clotty periods were normal but acupuncture got rid of the clots. I am going to pop in to the Argy tomorrow and speak to them. I feel pretty sick at the thought of starting all this again actually.

Euro / I love your one woman mission! I know in reality that of course there is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. The notion that I feel like that is ridiculous. I guess it comes down to thinking and mentalling how others perceive us. I don't like negative labels even though i no doubt label other people. I can be very self concious. It also attacks the perfectionist ego- it s something I have failed at and failure embarrasses me. I could actually write a dissertation on this subject but will stop there!

Absy - I M glad your family aren't poking around but sorry about all the announcements. You should turn off your pregnant friends feeds. Those sorts of reminders would drive me up the wall or in to a pit of gloom.

Rum - now I am surprised to hear about Gwynnie's book. I always had the impression she survived on seeds and carrots. I am glad it has been making you feel better though.

Absy -so sorry about your Dh. Is this all related to TTC? I can't remember , is it male issue with you guys?

Thanks for the kind words! It's kind of a both issue - I have PCOS (though apparently on the lighter end of the scale) and DH had an issue with the sperm heads (something which is fixable by wearing boxers, avoiding hot water etc. etc.), which apparently can take 12 months to sort out.

Well, there's a lot of other stress but it's underpinned by TTC. We want to move country, but don't want to move until after DC arrive for very good, very rational reasons (proximity to our parents, me being able to get a generous maternity allowance). It just means that we feel kind of trapped right now (me in particular, it's incredibly stressful at work and no option really to get away from it. I was offered a role elsewhere, but their mat leave allowance doesn't kick in for two years, so I can't really move).

The almond butter was very brown. Sadly, I sat down to eat - I'll not make that mistake again! Thanks for the Top Tip, pout. And there are a fair few seeds and veggies, joy, but the recipes are surprisingly tasty for the most part, so fair dues.

absy, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds a tough situation. And one I can kind of relate to - my husband and I live apart most of the week because of jobs, and trying to change that has been a bit of a nightmare. I think he's pretty convinced it's his fault he's not good enough to get a job nearer to me (I can't relocate near to him as there's nothing in my field there). And I don't think it's been that much of an issue, as from charting and whatnot I know we've given getting pregnant a decent run for its money at least 90% of he time. But I think he might worry that's why it's not happening, and he does get quite down (though not as upset as your mister sounds) when my period comes. Eh. As if life wasn't enough of a pain already, huh?

I have my first fertility clinic appointment thingy tomorrow and I thought I was totally OK with that and actually I think I'm bricking it. Which might go some way to explaining the substantial consumption of jam & bread earlier. Ho hum.

Absy - i'm sorry you are in a trapped position. I hope a bfp is just round the corner to alleviate the ttc stress at least.

rum - good luck tomorrow . Is this for ivf? It's really nerve racking going off to appointments but the reality is never as bad as you imagine.

I was reading the Evening Standard this evening and there was an article about Jen Aniston and how she is sick to death about the constant kids question. Poor woman. Imagine what it is like for us but she has supposedly been pregnant for the last 15 years. I think I would have had a nervous breakdown by now with the constant questions. That is one sleb i hope does become pregnant!

Yes, I saw that about Jen Aniston as well - imagine, everytime she gets a bit bloated people think she's pregnant and it's splashed all over the trashier newspapers. Apparently she fell pregnant during Friends (hence the Ross and Rachel accidental pregnancy story line) but had a miscarriage. If it's true, that must have been horrific for the poor woman.

there is a bluebottle doing my head in flying from window to window, every time I open it, the stupid thing flies the other direction. pout it reminds me of you though

How old is Jen A now? She must be mid 40s. Although I read somewhere (probably completely made up like all the stories) that she'd frozen her eggs years ago, so I wouldn't be too surprised if she was pregnant. It must be awful to have the constant rumours though. I worry enough when I wear a looser fitting top that people might think I'm pregnant.

absy I'm sorry you're feeling trapped by all this. My advice would be not to put anything on hold. Otherwise you might regret never moving, you have no idea how long this will take. And it would be sod's law that as soon as you land in the new place you're upduffed.

I've mentioned on here before that I think SIL is thinking of ttc. I'm fairly certain that she will be soon if not already. I woke up in a panic this morning after dreaming she was pregnant. Not a nice start to the day. When I told DH he admitted that an announcement from her would be very difficult because we'd have to appear happy and delighted and wouldn't be able to escape from it all. Sometimes I do wish we lived even further away. pout I think it was you that said you hide away. I have been doing that a fair bit too, we turned down a wedding invitation this summer because I knew it would be unbearable.

Something joy and pout said really resonated with me. It was about being a failure and wanting to be normal. My whole life I've felt different for various reasons, and I want more than anything to be average in this. I don't want to be in the tiny minority. I am a perfectionist like you joy. I hate failing and this is the ultimate fail. The whole point of life and I can't do it. I saw photos on fb from a school reunion type thing (another event I avoided). It was a garden party so everyone had brought their kids and I realised that most have kids now. Even those whose teens and twenties were a drug, booze filled blur have managed it now. We're the clean living ones, good jobs, security etc and we can't do it.

Interesting talk about Chinese medicine and periods. I have a friend who is Chinese and she won't eat anything cold when she has her period because she said it's bad for the womb. It's true that western doctors don't seem to care much about the actual period blood. I don't think I've ever been asked about it. I did ask about clots though. I was told they are normal if they're smaller than a 50cent piece. That the usual reason for them is because you've been sat or lay down and the blood has pooled and the clotted. Or because the flow is so fast that the anti clotting stuff hasn't had time to work. Fast, heavy flow could indicate a problem though. Since I had the cyst removed my periods feel normal I think. Tiny bit of spotting but only when I wipe then two days of bright red heavy flow. No clots. then 3 days of light flow.

I hear you on the perfectionism/failing/wanting to be normal stuff. When I did fall pregnant, I didn't go to acu and was horrified when I read that in some areas all IVF pregnancies are considered "high risk" and are consultant led. I can see that some women will want all the care they can get after a hard fought win, but I was just desperate to be normal after so long of being "the infertile one" and having one appointment after another.

I'm just back from my 4th scan. EC is pencilled in for Friday, although I think that is too early, so they are going to discuss my case later and call me to confirm whether or not I need to trigger tonight. There is no way I will ov before Sunday, so I think EC should be Saturday (that is what they did on my last natural cycle). This is all happening very quickly! I can't believe that all being well, by Sunday/Monday I will be PUPO again. Crikey.

Hi everyone, we finally got our internet repaired so I am back online.

Euro - This cycle does seem to be going so fast. EC is right around the corner for you.

absy - I think MrsD gave some pretty sound advice about not putting life on hold. We really don?t know how long the process will take. I also feel like the stress of feeling like you?re missing out or stuck will wear you out.

MrsD - I understand how hard it is when ILs get pregnant and you have to act delighted while you are quietly dying a bit on the inside. I have to admit it got a bit easier with time, but it was quite rough at first for me. You?ll get your win eventually and it will be all the more special for you and MrD.

Joy - You?re not a failure and have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed because TTC isn?t working for you right now. I know it?s hard not to feel that way, especially when you?re faced with an insensitive comment, but you?re not. I just wanted to give you a huge hug when I read about her comments to you.

Sea - I am so happy your holiday brought a smile back onto your face. I hope you can keep up the positivity! Here?s a big hurrah for the TB treatment coming to an end!

Rum - I?m glad the Gwyneth Paltrow cookbook is helping making you feel better. I have to say I was under the same impression as Joy in that she only ate seeds, nuts, and carrots. I just looked up a few recipes and they look decent.

Doll - It was so nice hearing from you. I hope your move goes smoothly!

Critter - I think my cheeks turned bright crimson at the idea of anyone praying and placing their hand over me to open the womb. Why did they not then go to the testicles? It is an odd assumption that her womb is closed and his sperm is just fine.

Sar - I?m glad the pregnancy is progressing well.

Buzzy - It?s nice to hear all is progressing well. I?m sorry to hear about the job stress though.

Gin - A friend of mine had a fibroid during her pregnancy ? they now have a very healthy one year old. She had some pain associated with it in the later months, but the Drs sorted it all out for her. It is apparently very common.

AFM ? I survived the birthday party ? with just one awkward moment when someone asked me and DH how long we had tried to conceive. We were saved from answering by a delightful child who wanted me to help him get juice that precise second, only to have them make a snide comment about how it must have taken us forever what a bitch. Mr. Grouch was mortified that she felt she could ask us something so personal and then make such a dumb remark. Other than that I had my 18-22 week scan, the baby boy is still measuring large for the dates.

That's a very personal question to ask sweet! Have you just found out it's a boy? And a big one, by the sounds of it!

Yes, we just found out we are having a boy. That was the last scan until we meet him.

I'm glad it wasn't just me and mr. grouch who thought that the question was incredibly personal and inappropriate, especially given that it was only the third time I have met this person in over 4 years!

Euro - It's happening quickly. I'm glad your clinic is going to discuss the best time for EC. It's important to get these things just right.

Sweet - Congrats. I'm so happy to read you are going to have a baby boy. What fab news. What a silly and mean woman. Some people just need to be ignored.

Joy - How did it go at the Argy? I can imagine why you would feel a bit sick at the thought of starting again. They don't call it IVF bootcamp for nothing. Im scared just thinking about it. Totally relate re perfectionist thing. I think this is the first time I have not been able to get my body to do what I want it to do. I have to admit I am a bit of a control freak and not being about to control this part of myself does get me down sometimes.

Mrsd - you are quite right. Chinese girls are brought up not to drink cold drinks during periods and to always put on slippers and not walk on cold floors etc. It's drilled into our brains! . I feel for you re ILs TTCing and having babies and having to act happy for them when you feel like you are slowing dying inside. My SIL got pregnant (her 3rd) because she really wanted a girl (she has 2 boys). She got her wish. That was 2 years into our TTC and we are still trying to get our 1st! I also relate re not wanting going to certain events because you just know it will be hard. It will work though I am sure - our time will come. Big hand hold.

Absy - I really feel sorry for Jen Aniston. Must be awful to have these constant questions and must kill her every time she reads that Brad and Ang have adopted or had another baby. I'm definitely Team Jen!

Pout - thanks for asking after mrsea. He is doing much better. I think the hols by the sea really helped. And you? How is MrP doing?
If you do want to cut down on gluten there are some really good alternatives out there - gluten free pastas and bread, some are really tasty. I m not obsessive about it but I have cut down on pastas loads but still have it now and again.

I just got MrS to do my second Humira injection. I am not sure if it was a technique issue (he says not obviously) but it was really really painful, much worst than the first one that the nurse did for me. What on earth are we doing wrong? I know I am sounding very wimpy and need to toughen up but I honestly don?t know how I can get used to all the injections associated with IVF and goodness if I need more Humira how I will do it. I always thought I had a high pain tolerance and have had acu for years and never had issues with blood test needles. So why is Humira so painful for me?! :(

joy, yep it was for IVF. The session itself was fine, but it's triggered a bit of a "I don't even WANT to have to have IVF, why would I be putting myself through this WAAH WAAH WAAH" meltdown following the fun discussion of risks and complications.

But really, I think the problem is the same issue you & pout and euro and mrsden mentioned - I feel like such a failure for not being able to do this one, simple, basic thing that millions of people do, thoughtlessly, all the time. And yes, I'm so grateful to have the chance IVF offers, but it's such a reminder of what we couldn't do on our own. It sucks. I feel bruised, like I've been literally punched in the chest.

Never mind, I'm sure future appointments can only get easier from here on in, and I was feeling quite excited this morning at the prospect of finally being near treatment, so I'm sure that excitement will return.

euro, things are moving quickly! PUPO next week - how wonderful.

sweet, bitch needs a slap, that's what. (Never mind me, I'm feeling tetchy today, but seriously, that shit is not cool.) And hurrah for a boy.

Treating myself to a little rum (what else?!) after my painful afternoon. I can get back on the teetotal bandwagon tomorrow.

A boy. How lovely. :)

sea I'm sorry that the Humira is bring a pain.

rum I completely recognise that. I don't want to be doing this at all and I am very resentful that we find ourselves at this point. I am quite angry about the whole thing.

EC is set for Friday after somewhat of a debate with the clinic. I still feel that it should be Saturday, but they recommend Friday. I know I won't ovulate before Saturday and I'm 100% sure about that, but although they said I could overrule them, I have decided to go with Friday purely because I don't want the added stress of it being all on me if something goes wrong by waiting for Saturday. I was feeling quite calm about the whole thing, but this has stressed me a bit.

Euro - I'm sorry you are having to deal with this added stress. Haven't never been through it I don't have any sensible advice for you. I just hope for you that they are right about Friday.

Rum - I feel the same as you about IVF. I think many of us do. I think time does help to make you feel okay with it especially once you get a good outcome. Whenever I feel angry about the unfairness of it all. I tell myself it's no different from any other illness. I wouldn't refuse treatment if I was diabetic. It is unfair but it is what it is and I try to be grateful that I am in a place where I can have the IVF treatment to try and rectify it. I am not saying don't feel angry but thinking that makes me feel better anyway. Hope the rum helped.