The Elderberry Gluckschmerzers who sausage wang between the Sofa of Pity and the Pouffe of Possibility (thread 11)

[Bunnygirlie]

Come and join us elderly TTCers on the Sofa of Pity (SoP), Rug of Rage (RoR), the Pouffe of Possibility (PoP) or the Chaise Lounge of Limbo (CLoL) whilst trying to avoid the BubbleBath of Gloom(BoG)!

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Aquarius sorry to hear you are on the BoG with AF

I think I might join you! DH spoke to docs, not much sperm in his sample although apparently you don't need much but he has been told to exercise, wear baggy stuff and cut down on the booze (which he most impressed about NOT). AND we can't get an appt with female doctor till next friday grrrrrrrrr

Is that the fc appointment bunny or is the female doctor something else? Sorry if I'm being slow...!

Temp dipped so I PIMPed and it looks like I'm out. It's still early so I suppose it could be a false neg but I'm not holding my breath. AF nowhere in sight but I'm getting my mooncup ready just in case. How effing depressing.

Thunder a crying jag is just an uncontrollable sobfest, kind of like what a rant is to being angry - only a crying jag leaves you with puffy eyes and a dull headache I'll just be sitting here on the SoP for a few days, taking a break from it all. Better luck to you Happy and all the rest of you who are getting ready for whatever comes next.

ps Tally of all the times to be mistaken for older than you are, I'd say you picked the most awesome!!

to Aqua & Sid

Bunny that's really quick! You have to be trying 2 years where I am (as well as meet a whole list of other criteria) before you even get referred to the assisted conception unit! Then you have to wait for an appointment, then you go on the IVF waiting list! Did they not throw clomid at you first? 6 months on clomid is another on the criteria list for onward referral round here...

No don't get excited, it's just to talk to the docs about getting referred to the FC! I bet that will then take months!!!!

Ello! Loved the thread referrals... Do you think hamwich/rumers woman was for real?

I can tell you about my job now - it's out in the open. I'm doing 12 month maternity cover (I know, the irony), class teacher role from sept! Hurrah! Staying at current school, so I know everyone. Was worried there would be some fallout about having been a TA, then becoming a teacher, but everyone has been soooo nice to me. My TA for next year is someone I really like anyway, so am chuffed. Obvs still hoping for some summer holiday diffment (diffwich?), but nice to have something to look forward to. My year colleague is the one who announced his wife's pg a couple of weeks ago, but at least he doesn't have a bump....
barking keep going with the ttc. I was considering not trying for a couple of months to ensure I can get thru next school year, but pah!
Cd14 here and have got that feeling before ewcm appears. I think.... Would be a bloody miracle to have a normal length cycle, but would prove the metformin works.
Love to you all

Yay for the job cats whoop whoop

Fed up here! Work was pants today and wanted to cry for no reason ther than my computer wouldn't work, I guess DHs spern being perhaps crappy didn't help either

TMI question - after DTD and lying with pillow under hips, do you then feel ok to go for a wee without feeling that all the good stuff will fallen out?!?

Grrr. even the Argos aliens are having a baby....

Hi guys, how long has it been since our last BFP?

Bunny The thinking is that after about 10 minutes all the chaps that are worth the effort have got to where they are going and going for a wee is ok. How people ever get knocked up behind the bins at Maccy D's I'll never know.

bunny I make sure I have a wee first so I don't need to afterwards! Although hey, it's not like its working for me lol!

Tally good work! Silly doc for not looking at your date of birth!!!! Hate the Argos adverts anyway! REALLY hate the clearblue advert with clearblue f*ing Clare - she needs a good slap!!!

pip pmsl at the bins behind maccy ds!!!

Right kids, I'm going to due my hair black eeek!!!! Aiming for Natalie off 'the valleys' (yeh I know, don't judge me), just hoping I won't look like an emo! Told you I'm having a pre mid life crisis!!!!

OMG tally I JUST SAID THAT TO MY HUBBY!!! Fecking Argos aliens!

pip it feels like years!!! Lol at the MaccyD bins, do you think they all call their children Ronald?!???

think I am getting a cold, great timing for DTD week!

Baby alien is cute, though, no?

I think I speak for everyone when I say NO!!!!!

Berries even I am irritated by the Argos aliens & the advert is squarely aimed at me!
Just been scrutinising my FF chart again (yes it never stops!) cos my second scan dated me even further along than my first & I know that can't be right unless the OPKs lied. I just can't bring myself to say to them 'look don't be ridiculous as I know the exact date of ovulation/conception as I was a temping & OPK obsessed Berry don't ya know'.

Oh Aqua, Sid, sorry this hasn't been your month. ?

I've missed the Argos alien baby. Unfortunately I haven't missed Clearblue Clare, if I ever met her I'd ram that peestick where the sun don't shine. Oh and 'doctors' don't date your pregnancy - sonographers and midwives do. Idiot...

Bunny sorry to hear the news about Mr Bunny's swimmers. Sure a couple of weeks off the booze will sort them out, they're probably all hungover if he's anything like Mr Boom

Bwaha Pip, nothing gets you knocked up like a Big-Mac fuelled knee-trembler against a greasy wheelie bin! Soon to be offered on the NHS in lieu of IVF due to budget cuts!

(Oh and there have been NO BFPs since Frog got tadpoled up, so 8 weeks or so! We must be due a BFP rush soon...surely...

Ha Tally well I'm glad the foolish doctor got you a queue-jump pass!

Kitty I've had mine black before and managed to look non-emo (I am the least angry-looking person ever though, so maybe the cheesy grin helped!)

Ugh I haven't even seen the ad, I saw it on twitter !

So what did the scan say then frog ?

frog I'm so obsessed with ff! My graphs are so erratic yet I'm still obsessed! Really should just give up!

boom that's reassuring. Started to panic I've made the wrong decision!!!!

Thanks boomam hoping now doctor has told DH he will cut back properly!!!

bunny was it dh's count that was low? My dh's morphology is low

frog, they will never believe you even if you do tell them the exact date. I tried that the first couple of times. on the third time I gave up and just agreed with them.

kitty DH said that doctor said not much sperm in sample, is that morphology? I will have to ask more questions when we go in next week.

Hmm maybe. We asked for a breakdown. Although sa can change all the time so try not to worry about it. Be grateful your dh isn't at glasto, completely obliterating any sperm he has left unlike mine!!!!