The Elderberry Gluckschmerzers who sausage wang between the Sofa of Pity and the Pouffe of Possibility (thread 11)

[Bunnygirlie]

Come and join us elderly TTCers on the Sofa of Pity (SoP), Rug of Rage (RoR), the Pouffe of Possibility (PoP) or the Chaise Lounge of Limbo (CLoL) whilst trying to avoid the BubbleBath of Gloom(BoG)!

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

I'll join you foody...I'm hovering around the PoP but can't quite bring myself to sit on it until I see the doctor next week!

Bored of this dissertation now. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

Someone entertain me. Or at least bring me a hamwidge.

Oh for goodness sake!!! I called my hairdresser to book appt and she is on maternity leave!!!!!!!!! I didn't know she was pg

I guess I'm hovering between the CLoL and PoP, CD8 I think and awaiting DHs test results so we can book to see doctor and see if she will refer us (she better bloody do)

bunny when we saw the doc about being referred they said we would be referred to fc after OHs results regardless of what they were - they have kind of already acknowledged your need/want for referral!
Also in the really, really unlikely event the doc you see says no, just say 3 little words "second opinion please!"

here boom have a hamwidge, do you want mustard?? whats the dissertation on??
Anyone good at massages? my neck and shoulders are really stiff.
Ceiling sanded and washed, on with the priming.

Hi all just a quick update
bunny we got the referral alongside the sperm test, didnt have to wait for the result...

We hav been offered ivf. thought it would then take ages for the appointment but got one for July so thats good. that will be to discuss options.
oh also doing another sperm test so they can decide what will work best.

cd5 here so in the meantime about to start dtd for another cycle.

I've got one buttock on the PoP....

foody that does sound like baby overload . Most of my friends kids are out of baby stage now; one is pregnant with her second but I know she had IVF for her first so she falls outside my Gluckschmerz radar... Its my SiL's new baby that is the most challenging for me as DH has bought lots of presents and keeps telling everybody how awesome his nephew is, which makes me feel rather inadequate. Ho Hum, must drag other buttock off SoP and onto PoP!

Puppy wow so exciting, IVF ball rolling for you next month!!! Congrats!

frogcatcher hey you! Glad to hear about the scan & the fatigue shifting. I had a quick scan of the grads thread the other day & couldn't follow it either, it really is a whole new set of info from this TTC stuff isn't it!!

Boom step away from the MN threads, step away from the MN threads or if not then I can refer you to one that'll eat up at least 3 hours and will have you laughing and crying and maybe even gasping in horror but I won't breathe a word of it as long as you have dissertation work to do, so get on it lady bc I'm dying to share!!

Kuma re: the nephew comments; that'd make me a little sad too but at least you have a glimpse as to how psyched he'll be when he's a daddy!

Bunny same thing happened to me with my old gyn!! How dare they!

CD25 here. Temp dropped a tiny bit, and felt a weird cramp in the night. Would love to PIMP but am afraid it'll be neg which'll send me on a crying jag that I haven't got time/privacy for. SKs here most nights this week except tonight, and DH and I are going out. Nevermind that I'm too tired for words. Can't turn down the chance to eat out with someone who doesn't need help cutting their meat!

foody my hero! Thank you for the widge would you like a shoulder rub in return?

So dissertation is on the thrilling topic 'Does synthetic oxytocin given in labour affect breastfeeding success?' Have to find all studies done on the topic, analyse, criticise and synthesise them and reach a conclusion (conclusion will always be 'more research is needed). 10,000 words of sheer joy and statistical tests BLAH! No jobs have been released from the hospitals I want yet - I'm being picky, which I probably can't afford to be, but realistically I struggle to drive home safely after a night shift at my training hospital, going further afield really isn't an option. Fingers crossed that they release some at Leeds before I graduate..

Puppy that's great news, sounds like it's happening pretty fast too! Are you excited?

Kuma, foody, sympathy for the baby surplus!

Bunny have you phoned for the results? Because no bugger has ever phoned me ever with results from any test I've had, I always have to chase them myself or I'd still be waiting 4 months later hence my crazy lady folder full of every result I've ever had

Right, off to take the dog to play with

Oh sorry Sid, always seem to cross with you! I have all digits crossed for you, hope all this temping/twinging are portentous of good things..!

and if you wanted to post the link to the timewasting thread then I might be secretly grateful for the break in essay monotony

Argh!! No, frog, I wasn't calling you a fun sponge!!!!! Sorry, my mistake when replying on the run... I meant to reply to foody, comparing her 'mood hoover' to our term of 'fun sponge' (meaning someone sucking all the fun out of everything rather than killing the mood, but very similar). I wasn't making any comment about you!!! Sorry!!!

Aww thanks boom. I'm in the middle of an inexplicable crying jag and you made me feel better by calling my cramp a 'twinge'. Sounds much more hopeful so

And here you are; your wish is my command!

Super Dramatic Timewasting Thread That's Totalky Worth the Read

barking if your dh is anything like mine his data gathering will be useless!!! Mine is rubbish at getting gossip!

frog was only wondering about you the other day! Basically we need to all get diffed and start our own grad group. Oh and I've been taking folic acid for 2 years (and counting)!

boom /foody yes, agree, qualifying is an AMAZING feeling! Then suddenly your qualified and you've got to be a REAL health care professional!

boom agree with thubder, defo a mood Hoover friend!!!! A friend of mine referred to his child the other day as 'the abortion that got away'...my dh thought it was hilarious but I obviously feel differently lol

Was chatting with one of the young nurses today who was telling me how she hasn't had a period in months and she loves it. Didn't have the heart to tell her she'd change her mind once she wanted kids x

Evening my lovelies!

DH is going to call docs tomorrow to chase results and then I will make an appointment. My old doctor did say we would be referred whatever DH results say so hopefully my new doctor will be just as nice!

Ooh puppy ivf, how exciting! Remind us how long you have been TTC?

Sid I loved that thread! She sounds like a lovely woman, and depending on her age could be a berry!! Fingers crossed for you....

Puppy Ooo, we're nearly in July!! How exciting!! What date is your appointment?

foody we've got a weird should we wait? thing going on (answer being no!) - DP's best mate is getting married abroad next year, he's marrying a teacher so it'll either be Easter or end of May/beginning of June. We both got excited about it then DP said 'well you won't be going, we'll have a baby by then' so I pointed out that no, we probably wouldn't. Obviously we're still not trying this cycle (little matter of stitches and scabs on the key instrument), and next cycle probably won't start until mid/late July so earliest we could be pg is August, which would potentially be a May baby. That would basically make me too pg to fly for an April wedding, and too soon after the birth for a May/June wedding!! If we got pg in September it would still cancel out both dates given they involve a flight and a week away.

Bring on the sods law BFP in August!!!! I'll choose to ignore that we'll be spending most of August in a tent in California and dtd discretely or comfortably won't be easy

puppy MASSIVELY jealous of your ivf. I'm currently waiti g for iui which I have absolutely no faith in! Keep toying with the idea of going private.

barking I second the no to waiting! You've waited long enough!!!

Got so many friends at the momen, mid 30s and in no rush to settle yet defo want babies when they do. Really struggling to bit my tongue. Know I shouldn't tell them to hurry but I don't want them to be in my situation

barking I concur, bring on the sods law BFP!!!!

I've been reading the thread about reactions to pg announcements, it seems what I feel (what we all feel) is so very common and struggling to concieve is so common too, why do we never hear much about it?!?

bunny I suppose people generally don't like to publicly talk about what feels like failure? Is it just a British thing? Do the Berries from overseas have any thoughts on that? sid?

When the media report it it seems that it's along the lines of 'selfish old people don't conceive quickly yet they spent all of their youth getting drunk/having fun/having a career and thus don't deserve any help'. So when given such a negative slant its hardly surprising we don't feel like discussing it much; yet I imagine that the majority waited due to circumstances rather than by active choice?

I've only had every had two conversations with friends which touched on their trouble conceiving, and one of them was with a male friend of mine whose wife was struggling.

When I tried to broach the subject with my best mate, a mother of 3, she brushed off the thought that I might be trying but not succeeding in TTC, so maybe the instadiffers around us really don't get it?

kuma yep I guess it's an odd one. Maybe once to get your baby you don't care how it got here?!?

That's why I worry about telling people in RL, if anybody was to say just relax, or it'll happen one day or something like that I would want to lunch them in the face! My one friend who does know got pg the month after her wedding so I guess she is an instadiffer but she has been really sweet.

I guess I'm the exception. Pretty much all my closer friends know we're trying, and that we've been for tests etc. I'll talk about it to anyone really if they ask, unless there's a reason not to, eg at work I wouldn't for career/political reasons, and newly married couples I'm always wary of as I'm scared they're already pg but not telling anyone yet, so I'd be going on about fertility problems while they're pg but keeping their mouth shut. Learnt that one the hard way.

morning all.

bunny we have been trying about a year and 4 months, but I hav a short 22-24 day cycle so its a lot of cycles (I stopped counting at about 15!)

It has been quite quick as initial FC appt was early March. we're 'unexplained'. had one result of low morphology on first sperm test but second was normal. all my tests in normal range although estrogen at low end of normal.

im not excited yet! my worry is that its a lot of stress for a small chance and we only get one go (on nhs). I just can't believe that it could actually happen after so many cycles...

I'm with barking, everyone knows about our situation expect my new work (only because I'm worried they'll think less of me as I'll be off on maternity) and dh's parents/ my dad (only because we haven't found the right time to tell them). I'm a big believer in using my friends for free therapy and vice versa!

Morning all,

'Sup?

We going to start laying this yellow brick road out again then?

I am proper chuckling at the misunderstanding of barking calling frog a fun sponge. Ha!!

boom good luck with the writing

sid sorry you've been feeling upset. Maybe if you're emotional anyway it would be worth poas to know either way? Btw never heard of crying 'jag' before. Please say its short for jaguar?

puppy its VERY exciting about the ivf!

bunny are you calling this morning then? Whenwhenwhenwhenwhenwhen????

barking ouch about learning that the hard way. That must have been really upsetting and awkward. I hate it when you kind of know your mate's pregnant but not saying it yet. Phhhbbbb

I echo the sentiments of the thread about glucksmerz at other people's pregnancy news. And the worse bit for me is hating myself for feeling it- for not just feeling happy for the other person but letting it reflect upon my own failures.

Not so sure about the yellow bricklaying now after all

Pick that hod back up thunder. Its normal and you are fine and this cycle is going to be the one.

In other news, I misread my letter and the appt next week is only the pre assessment, not the actual procedure. That's not til the 24th. But at least I've finished school by then so I don't have to go over the news all over again.

This'll make you laugh. I got my referral letter copy from the consultant to the hospital recommending this investigation and I have a feeling I know why I'm being seen so quickly. She thinks I'm 43, not 33. Unless it was a typo, which is unlikely. Or maybe she did it accidentally on purpose? Yes, that's what I'd like to think.

puppy I m nearly at a similar stage to you - ttc 15 mths ish and awaiting referral to FC (just need to get dh to get jizz test). I know what you mean about not being able to imagine it happening. that's v exciting for you that things are moving forwards and I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for the end result...

barking and blind I've told friends and family too- I agree it's free therapy (even if your friend just pours you another glass of wine)

Tmi alert - Have been up since 3.30 with AF and her fanfare of cramps and diarrhoea. Sodding sod- just feels a bit endless all of this monthly misery.

Ahh tally that does make sense that you get a pre assessment. I was wondering about that because its clearly quite a major investigation but you hadn't been given any details about it. Nice one about the 'mistake' too.

Oh bugger aquarius that's simply not fair. And you must be knackered to boot. Snuggle up with one of tally's quilts.