Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We laugh in the face of OPKS and stomp on our thermometers! Don your customised shag capes, ladies; it's Just Shagging Thread 15

999 replies

Bearface · 15/05/2013 18:12

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 14 is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1674505-Out-with-the-OPKs-ban-the-body-temping-heres-Just-Shagging-thread-14

The link to the latest grads thread is here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1699553-Shagged-Out-Viroids-7th-Thread-From-conception-to-birth-living-proof-that-JSing-really-does-work

Happy shagging shaggers!

OP posts:
EssieSaysRelax · 04/07/2013 13:03

My DH is sport mad and watches anything with balls in it (!). I struggle to tear him away too. The worst is flipping cricket cos it goes on for days!

Rockchick1984 · 04/07/2013 13:07

Choc way TMI here, but I've been known to give DH a blow job while he's on his Xbox... Then stop before he finishes Grin Grin Grin I've never seen a man turn off a computer thingy quite so fast in all my life!

commsgirl · 04/07/2013 13:08

Wow! Sounds like you do have a battle on your hands. I bought the latest one for dp (I know I know) so his fave thing is to tell me he's getting me value for money.. Yawn.

commsgirl · 04/07/2013 13:09

rock agree, that trick normally works!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 13:52

my dh isn't into xboxes and such like and now he works from home he isn't too bothered about sitting on his PC all night. yet its still an effort to convince him to get the cape on. hmmm maybe he's secretly gay lolGrin

ChocChaffinch · 04/07/2013 14:47

and thus the ''cliffhanger blowjob ' is born. this fred is genius. evil sperm witches we are.

commsgirl · 04/07/2013 15:41

Cliffhanger blowjob, love it.

It's a win win situation really. You get a shag, he gets to feel less like a sperm-on-demand machine.

Shuddering that I've just typed three words that I could never actually say out loud. prude

DulcetMoans · 04/07/2013 15:48

Cliffhanger blow job could be a good tactic moving forward. Luckily DP doesn't game but he does watch all the stupid sports! Actually he just watches a lot of telly that seems to get in the way of anything more productive - like shagging! Or it makes it a lot later than I would like anyway. I get tired too! Lol.

ChocChaffinch · 04/07/2013 15:51

we are modern day succubuses plotting how best to harvet from our menfolk. They'd be after us for the ducking stool in times gone by Grin

Bearfacedchic · 04/07/2013 18:17

7 years Choc!!! Shock What a woman your mum must be! I'll have given up before then. But you may be right - she might have been doing it with her pants on or something for a bit. Grin (Sorry to talk about your mum like that- how rude of me! Feel free to slap me with a wet fish.)

Cliffhanger BJ - cripes! Considers logistics And Rock, really???? Jeez - you guys are so much more laid back than me. I'd go ape at that. I want undivided attention - must be the teacher in me coming out. Grin

Comms - I shudder with horrifying regularity on here!

Had a shocker of a day at work and think something I did today is going to come and bite me on the ass tomorrow - hard. I hate days like that, but maybe I'm worrying too much. Oh well, might go off and read my book for a bit and drift off into another world . . . Off to also, as Choc says, keep on truckin'.

Bearfacedchic · 04/07/2013 18:21

Oh yes - you're right - we are succubi Choc. Now we just need some incubi to get us our BFPs! I'd have been ducked anyway for being ginger, so not too dissimilar to modern times then!

ChocChaffinch · 04/07/2013 19:07

commsgirl what are the 3 words in that message you'd never say out loud!! it's driving me nuts trying to figure out Grin
was it blowjob/shag/sperm
or sperm-on-demand !!!

cookielove · 04/07/2013 19:56

Hello hello hello all, Smile

How are yous??

Oh i am also a xbox, playstation, wii and computer widow, its a bit ridiculous that we have them all although i am secretly pleased

I will come back later and say everything i wanted to say, but i am busy online talking to my sister and getting all distracted Smile

commsgirl · 04/07/2013 20:27

choc blowjob shag sperm. Although I wouldn't say sperm-on-demand either. Blush

cookielove · 04/07/2013 21:10

Ok, i'm back

I barely even bother telling Dh i am late, as he thinks i should wait till i have missed 2 periods to test Shock he does want a baby but just thinks it will happen when it happens. He would also be a little bit cross if he knew how many test i had done Blush

Ooh comms i know lots of people who wouldn't say those words out loud, one of my work colleagues use to burst out laughing when i said scrotum i used to say it just to embarrass her

I wouldn't have any problem saying any of the words out loud infact i may start calling dh my sperm-on-demand-man Grin that will surely get him into bed, no?

dulcet grrrrrr stooopid ertd!!!

bear i am a bit of a fred whore, i seem to collect a load of them, but then always end up here, this is the first one i check when i come on mn.

Eh hem thanks for all the advice on that thing i won't be doing Wink

Its Friday tomorrow, whoop whoop!!!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 21:48

this fred is getting a bit full is it not? r we going to need a new one soon? what's the limit?

cookielove · 04/07/2013 21:55

The limit is 999, i believe so we still got a little bit of room, someone will start a new one, i've been throwing a few titles around in my head, in case in turns out to me!! Blush

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:06

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:07

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:07

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:07

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:08

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:09

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:09

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!

lil1ady · 04/07/2013 22:09

in that case I reckon we got 2 days before we're at 999! I can tell u I won't be starting it....because I don't know how!