We laugh in the face of OPKS and stomp on our thermometers! Don your customised shag capes, ladies; it's Just Shagging Thread 15

[Bearface]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 14 is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1674505-Out-with-the-OPKs-ban-the-body-temping-heres-Just-Shagging-thread-14

The link to the latest grads thread is here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1699553-Shagged-Out-Viroids-7th-Thread-From-conception-to-birth-living-proof-that-JSing-really-does-work

Happy shagging shaggers!

Arf! You're all making me laugh with these stories of zombified sleep walking other halves. My DH has done some crazy stuff and says things like the badger comment like "Where is everyone?" Er, here. It's just me. Who else were you expecting? He never remembers it either.

I hate people being late to meetings too. They're bad enough as it is without numpties wandering in late.

Quark, I agree that it's fine to choose the name if there's a big enough gap, which there will be, and if it's not a family member or close friend. Just seconding what's already been said.

I change my mind about names a lot, but then other people keep having babies and stealing them so I'm running out of options!

It's annoying when someone else steals a name you like isn't it, or you meet someone awful with that name!

The meeting was dire. But then they always are as bear says, with or without tools arriving late. It's ALWAYS the same people too that hold everyone up. Grr.

quark this is sounding promising.... got everything x-ed for you!

My DH has also leapt out of bed and whisked the duvet off me because he thought there was a creature of some sort on/in it. I then had to coax him to put it back on me and get back into bed, when I asked him about it in the morning he had no recollection!

Ha ha. Mystery creatures Essie!

Ha ha Essie, maybe the m

I heard them on about parents combining their names to get their child's name on the radio the other day. Maybe if we all did that we would get something original! Robona doesn't sound like a child's name though!

This is totally going to out me but my Dh has done the following in his sleep:

1. Switched the lights in, got out of bed and started lifting up the mattress with me still lying on it. He was looking for something apparently.

1. He pulled his three bedside drawers out of the bedside table completely. The next morning he remembered that he had dreamt about about me losing my necklace behind it.

1. He has gotten fully clothed

1. He has pulled the bed across the room.

1. He regularly tries to push me out the way of rolling hay bales. (He is a farmer)

I could go on! I usually tell him shut the f**k up and go back to sleep!

Sorry fat fingers! Meant to say maybe he thought you were the monster!

I know what you mean about the names thing. The guy I sit next to at work (or used to, I'm currently enjoying the last bit of my maternity leave) is a bit of a plonker. He's the compliance/rules guy and is a PITA. I called DS the same name as him, prompting everyone at work to say 'oh did you name DS after plonker?' Err no, I named him despite plonker also having the name!!

Ha ha Quark. Yours is definitely worse than mine. I wonder what the incidence rate is for men vs women sleepwalking/sleep bale of hay rolling? Either we've got a unique little niche going on or generally more men do it than women.

That's annoying about names Ice. Why do stupid people have to have good names? Why can't they just be called Loser and Plonker and other such appropriate stuff?

Professor goofle! Hahahahahahaha

Ahem sorry, interesting theory. I do have a female friend though that gets the night terrors and scares the shit out of her dp when she wakes up screaming!

Oh theory blown then!

Goofle! Har har! It's found it's way into my predictive dictionary too. So this is how language changes . . .

quark those are hilarious!

Ice people can be so dense sometimes. Yeah of course you didn't name your DS after an office plonker, why would people ask that! Argh!

Prof goofle.

Must do something useful. Not in the mood. Already demob happy and still got to make it to Friday.

I'm the bed pest in my relationship, DP gets an earful of abuse that I never remember when I wake up.

You testing in the morning then Quark??

Yup dulcet me and Dh have the day off tomorrow so thought it would be nice. It's really odd. This is the first month that Dh has convinced himself that i am prego!

Sleep pest is a v. Good word for it!

Ooo - looking forward to some POAS action Quark.

I've been so lazy this afternoon that I actually really need the loo, but can't be bothered to get up and go and I'm now busting. I watched the programme about Anne Boleyn on the beeb and then found myself researching various aspects of the English Royal Family Tree (because I know nuffink about it), which is quite frankly, complicated, semi-incestuous and sprawling. I then found myself asking questions such as 'So, where did Prince Philip pop up from?' etc. and have managed to while away a few hours happily with Prof. Goofle and Dr. Wiki. I meant to go and read my book, but that didn't happen either. A most satisfying day all round methinks. Now, must go to the loo before I BURST!

Lol at all the non js bedtime action you guys have been getting! when I was doing my accounting qualification I went away to study and shared a room with a friend who talked in her sleep. some favourites were "follow the guide" and something about mothers pearls! and also some accountancy stuff jumbled into sharing things out. v wierd!

lmao at prof Goofle!

well I am a firm believer in only testing with fmu so I have one less thing to blame a bfn on and try and turn around to a bfp in my head. so I decided not to test this morning. will have to see what mood I'm in when I wake up tomorrow! it will be either 13 or 14 do tomorrow I think. not sure how sensitive tesco test are so will try hold out til Saturday. I kinda don't want to test because if I do and its bfn then the possibility goes out the window. there's something hopeful in the not knowing. symptom spotting has slowed down the last day or so though so the hope is draining.

I am against exercise. it hurts, makes you out of breath and takes up valuable time...I think I may even be allergic to it. I'm not overweight or anything, I'd just rather eat less than exercise exceot jsing if course

who was late for ertd? was it quark? whoever it was TEST! if I'm not going to someone should!

Totally with you on the testing lil. Only in the morning or I would only end up saying its not reliable without FMU and do it again the next day.

I am afraid to say I advocate the exercise though. I lost five stone through just taking control. I have a sick fondness of exercise now and running. Was so crap at it to begin with but getting there. I recommend it for weight loss for sure!

if I keep eating the number if cream cakes like i have today exercise will be necessary whether I like it or not!

Ugh. Just found myself on trashy celeb gossip websites researching who is preggers and who has had trouble getting preggers in the celeb world. Then I came across a really weird article about how 'ugly men produce more sperm' than attractive ones. How crazy is that?! Apparently it came from Oxford Uni and UCL. How do people get funded to research such dross when there are far more pressing issues? Hmph. I guess it could have been incidental to other research though Anyway, if you want to get upduffed apparently you need to find an 'ugly' man. How horrid is that?????

Erm i guess i need to admit it, the people were you describing e.g talking in their sleep and acting out things thats me, the only thing Dh does is snore, but i do that to so i am the pita to sleep with

and

the people who turn up late to work, meetings, friends, yeah that would also be me although i am getting better at work cause they keep telling me off

Erm the ones who run, i have no stamina for running (i do for walking) is it something i could build up to or am i just not built for it? I do realise though you may not know the answer

Quark POAS, that is all

Oh yeah the name thing happens quite a lot with nursery workers and teachers there are two boy names i will never use, due to them being cheeky monkeys!!!!

hi all, best of luck for testing tomorrow lil and v impressed with the insanity workout bear.

I was doing a lot of exercise recently but I'm not too well at the moment so that's gone out the window! Boo.

I've chosen my baby names and also how many I'm having...hahah! (totally weird but everyone at my work seems to have twins!) Just got some Conceive Plus in the post so hoping that will help. The things we share on the internet, eh?!

xx

Hey everyone, just checking in everything is quiet for me on the TTC front, good luck tmw Quark!

Hello, i forgot to mention something that i did today

I applied for Deal or No deal

And is this really stupid i been using my OPK's and i just got stupidly excited seeing two lines albeit one was very faint. Its the first time ever seeing two lines

(name changed from Pudgy2011 because I've had this effing song in my head all bloody day)

Help me all, I've got ride tide pains from hades. Seriously heavy this month, turns out all the nausea really was an after effect of the bug I had. Ah well, at least it reminded me of how horrendous MS is and "almost" put me off TTC. But not quite. Looking forward to getting some shags in though, I've been so sick I haven't had any lovin' since just after I ovulated. Best get back on it.

Bear I find it highly ironic that you're doing Insanity. I got through a month of Insanity in January 2011, at the end of which I discovered I was unexpectedly pregnant! The first words I said when I got that BFP was "Holy fuck it's positive" followed swiftly by the biggest sigh of relief and "oh my god that means I don't have to do that fucking Insanity work out anymore!" - yeah, it's brutally hardcore and you have to have knees of steel but I was pretty ripped at the end of that month.

I've not been doing any exercise since I ran my marathon in January. After 7 solid months of running and getting up at 3am for 16 mile runs, I decided I couldn't be bothered to exercise again until June. Which I appreciate is about 3 days away. Bugger.

Bastarding buggering ERTD arrived here

Ah well, it's my own stupid fault for only shagging about 3 times all month! On the plus side it was dead on my re-miscarriage 27 days so hopefully that means everything is working properly! Think I'll be getting the conceive plus back out this month...