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Conception

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TRC 10+ months. Part 15...

999 replies

MuddyWellyNelly · 05/05/2013 15:55

New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!

OP posts:
buzzybee123 · 19/05/2013 20:58

zippy may I offer you a bit of 'beret with mustard' or some chocolate cake while you are in the tent, big hugs

buzzybee123 · 20/05/2013 08:58

euro hope all goes well for you later today

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 20/05/2013 09:29

Morning lovelies!

Keeping everything crossed for you this afternoon euro. Hope it is only mildly abnormal!

Sorry about your cat, arte. It is so sad not to be able to do anything.

Why are you tent dwelling zippy? Anything in particular. Have some cake in any case!

Hope all of you are well. Sorry for all the harsh words.

I just had (another) mini-breakdown after scannage, 7 days of stabbing, one mature follicle. I do that every bloody month anyway. So IVF here we come. We've been having what if, adoption and alternative life plan chats as well this weekend. Blugh. I am so through with this shit.

EuroShaggleton · 20/05/2013 09:46

Drizz how bloody annoying. Welcome to the IVF bandwagon! Do you have any idea on timing? All being well tonight, we will start in June.

Thanks for your thoughts ladies. I just need to keep busy and get through today so that just about the only medical professional in London who hasn't yet peered up my chuff can have a gander...

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 20/05/2013 10:22

If the clinic can fit us in, we'll start the first round of IVF on June 5th (triggering tonight, thus IUI Wed, AF inevitably two weeks later). Picked up the what-shall-we-do with leftover embies forms yesterday as I had a feeling where this was all leading. But it will be LP for the first round, so will be cycling partly with you and partly with poutster, fingers crossed you get your BFP before I start stimming!

My attractive husband said well they've all seen how hairy you are by now, so pointless to be too concerned about dildo-camming. Well thanks.

Good luck tonight!

Poutintrout · 20/05/2013 12:21

art I am so sorry to hear about your cat, losing a pet doesn't bear thinking about. Is MrA home yet? I agree with zippy that your cat knows that she is loved and safe & that is a lovely thing. I am thinking of you and send you & kitty lots of hugs.

euro good luck with your appointment. I will be thinking of you. Grin at you finding the last medical prof not to have seen your chuff!

lemons Sorry that you only got the one follie. Did the clinic have any idea why that was? I can totally see how it would be galling. I hear you on the so sick of this shit. It is all so utterly, mind numbingly boring and just grinds you down so much.

madness Hope the cold is going and that you are feeling better.

Cosmos About the daily crashing realisation, oddly I don't really get that. I think that barreness has become such a massive part of who I think I am it rarely registers. The only time it hit me was when I got the IVF drug delivery.

buzzy Are you sleeping any better? How long will you have to remain on the steroids?

zippy sorry you are in the tent. How is the Clomid going?

Love and waves to everyone.

GinSoaked · 20/05/2013 12:38

Hello ladies. I hope you all had good weekends. Bring on the bank holiday weekend I say!

lemons I?m v. much hoping that you won?t need the ivf, as this iui cycle will work. It is always good to have a plan though. I have my fingers crossed for you. Bad husband! The hairy thing still bothers me a bit, as I?m convinced that everyone has all their hair waxed off, apart from me!

I hope the appointment goes well tonight euro. I will be thinking of you.

buzzy has the good news sunk in yet?! Do you get an early scan at a satellite clinic? I had terrible insomnia when on steroids during ivf #1, but I think it was also a bit of post-traumatic stress after the awful EC. I?m not on any steroids now and have terrible insomnia again! I can get to sleep ok, but wake up to get for a wee and then can?t get back to sleep for several hours, generally. Interestingly, I had a midwife appointment yesterday and insomnia was one of the symptoms she asked me if I had, so it must be very normal! Poor Dave, has to put up with an extra grumpy me though?

zippy sorry you are in the tent. Has af arrived?

madness I?m so please to hear that you are feeling a bit brighter. Do make sure you give yourself some time. I can?t believe you don?t get a follow up appointment. Do they at least discuss the next cycle with you, which you could use as a kind of follow up?

art so sorry about your kitty :( After the failed ivf last year and our little furry beast pretending that she was dying, it was truly one of the most horrible times.

mrsd so sorry you have stingy lady bits on top of everything else. I had truly awful cystitis after ivf #1. The powders helped, but it was several courses of antibiotics that really cleared it up. Do go to the drs asap ? I didn?t, cos I was sick of them, and it went on for 6 months +. You could also take something like canestan once to get rid of any potential thrush. I find it works really well.

Hope you had a nice weekend critter. Were you hcg levels on Sat all ok? Has it sunk in at all?

Lovely to ?see? you again cosmos. I didn?t realise that you still have a frostie. 10% success rate does seem on the low side ? is the frostie a blast? My clinic gives any FET with a blast a 50% chance of working. Are you doing a natural cycle?

nelly sorry about the letter. It does seem a bit bollocks to say you produced a good quality embryo, but your eggs are no good. Just doesn?t make sense! Personally, I?d have a third go before looking at donor eggs. As someone said, we?d all get preggers a lot more easily with a 20 year old?s blastocysts. Hope your awesome thing happening meant you had an awesome weekend!

pout I think you should ignore the grading of the embryo. The one hopefully growing in me now was a fragmented 3 cell on day 3, so the worst of our 3 and yet certainly stuck better than the other 2 good quality ones. You just don?t know. As the nurse at the clinic said to me, none of us know what we looked like as an embryo! Your hospital sounds v. thorough with all the cycle tracking etc.

joy I think your holiday will be just what you need and will give you some headspace and time to relax, in rather lush surroundings. You haven?t really had any time to yourself since it all happened and also it?s not all that long ago, so you are bound to still be feeling rather miserable. I?m sure you will have a fab time, once you are there.

Waves to everyone I?ve missed and Sea, sar, Ramona, rabbits, sweet.

I shall ?fess up to my embarrassing mental on Friday. My nausea had disappeared (I know, I know, just for 1 day) and then when I wiped having been for a wee, there were one or two tiny pin pricks of blood. Cue lots of mentalling. However, later, after my own er investigations, I decided the blood was more likely to be from sore sking/piles type thing down there. It didn?t look like period blood and there?s been nothing in my pants or anything else since. I think the whole episode says more about my state of mind. It made me realise just how much I want this and how I will totally fall to bits if anything does go wrong. Anyway, less than 2 weeks until the next scan now.

mrsden · 20/05/2013 14:34

I'm thinking of you euro, hoping for good news.

gin I think you've reached the stage where sickness might wear off so try not to worry about that. It's so infuriating that the anxiety doesn't end with a BFP. How long now until your scan?

zippy sorry you're in the tent too. There's plenty of room in here.

art I'm so sorry about your cat. They're family and it's awful when their time has come. Big hugs.

I'm still suffering, I think it's a urinary tract infection. I will try and get to the Dr tomorrow. Waves to everyone else. I'll try to catch up properly tomorrow.

CritterPants · 20/05/2013 15:02

mrsd I am so sorry about the UTI. They are awful, I was in tears last time I had one. I can't believe you have this to deal with on top of everything else.

gin sorry about the scary moment at the weekend - it sounds like all is fine but I can imagine how frightening it would be with such a hard-won baby.

euro I am so hoping that you get reassuring news today at your appointment. Good luck!

zippy sorry you're in the tent. Have a piece of chocolate and a hug.

art so sorry about your poor cat - pets are like family members.

lemon good luck for the IVF cycle. I did LP and it had a good end result so I have high hopes for you!

pout not long now til Colin returns to his ancestral home.

buzz how are you feeling? When is your blood test?

mad hope you had a nice weekend with MrM.

nelly thinking of you lovely.

All fine here, I had my second blood test on Sat and the level was 582 so that was reassuring. First scan is next Friday 31st. I still can't believe it.

MuddyWellyNelly · 20/05/2013 15:31

Just a quick one to add to the very sad hugs for Art. I adore my furballs beyond all reasonable levels and the day we lose one is not to be thought of. I am so sorry you have to go through this Hmm.

Good news indeed on the Beta Critter! Hooray.

I did have a lovely weekend but managed to get 3 pregnancy announcements. I was able to process a bit more re the DE idea and chat to a couple of people. It will be in our plan, but first is one or two natural IUI rounds whilst we save up, then a LP with own eggs then a LP with DE. All before next August as I have a new expensive purchase in mind then. It will be child unfriendly and big and dangerous, and mark the end of this journey.

Gotta get back to work. Hope all goes ok Euro.

OP posts:
CritterPants · 20/05/2013 16:15

nelly Oh no about the pregnancy announcements. FFS. I do think that sounds like a fantastic plan of action, with clear defined steps, which will give you the best possible chance to have your baby - and it's great that it will all be happening so fast, with no more hanging around. And the child-unfriendly purchase next August sounds like an excellent idea.

euro any news?

mrsden · 20/05/2013 16:33

3 in one weekend grrr nelly. How awful was that? I'm starting to get announcements of second pregnancies, when the first one happened after I started ttc. That is depressing. I also find it depressing when the babies are Born and I realise that that has been a whole 9 months and I'm still not pregnant sigh. I used to think when someone announced a pregnancy oh well by the time it's born I may well be pregnant, I don't think that anymore.

Your plan sounds sensible. Ours is to have second ivf in October and if unsuccessful then to have the third as soon as possible afterwards. I don't know yet If we will try more than three rounds. I think after three then it would be time to face up to a child free future. Adoption and donor are not on our agenda but I never say never.

Cosmos, we haven't told anyone because I don't think I'd find it helpful for people to know. My parents are wonderful but they have health problems and I wouldn't want them to worry which they would. Pil I suspect don't agree with ivf. They would probably contribute financially if we asked them but that would come at at price, they would want to know every detail and I couldn't cope with that. My siblings all have easily conceived children and whilst that would be outwardly sympathetic I really don't think they'd properly understand. It's the same with friends, they're either single so not trying and therefore don't understand the pain or have kids and again wouldn't understand. We're very private people and I would find it uncomfortable for people to know everything. I suspect people have guessed, we've been married a long time now and if someone asked me outright I'd be honest but I feel like ttc has taken away control and dignity and keeping this secret gives me a little bit. I know that probably sounds crazy.

sarlat · 20/05/2013 17:40

Hello Ladies, I am so sorry I am not doing a great job of keeping up on here. My nausea makes computer use really difficult. I get more headachey and sicky when I am sat looking at a screen. But I am having a decent half hour so will do my best to catch up.

I am so sad and heartbroken to see all of the stress, anxiety and general crappyness going on. TTC is utter utter creme de la creme of awfulness and I do believe it compares very much with all the 'major life traumas' that people will openly talk about. But so often we can't talk about our ishoos. Is is a lonely, vile place and I echo Cosmos words of life coming crashing down each time the situation is remembered. It is draining beyond belief and totally unfair. Although I have been fortunate enough to get a BFP, there was a time not too long a go when according to my Dr's my chances of pregnancy were not going to be helped much by IVF it seemed nor surgery. Despite my good embryos I was not making progress and no one seemed to have an answer. That was very devestating. I now know (and sort of always suspected) that they were very wrong in their diagnosis of me and they didn't take the time to properly analyse my hsg result. But prior to the bfp I was in a helpless place and I just want you lovely ladies going through the thick of it to know that I really really empathise and so wish I could make it all better. Ok, sickly speech over but I just neeeed people to know that I get all these dark feelings and frustratiuons.

Nelly - the report sounds overly pessamistic. They can't have it both ways. If you make good embryos, you make good embryos despite the numbers. I agree they will be very stat focus. Your plans sound top notch and I am feeling very very hopeful for you.

Mad - well done for turning a corner. Eventually that grey cloud post cycle does lift. There is no reason for things not to work out next time. But I understand the general fears of course. Take care of yourself if you are under the weather.

Den - uuuggghhh to the uti. Not nice at all. Unfortunatley they seem to be a very common thing post cycle. All that pushing and pressing seems to unsettle the bladder me thinks. I had a mild one and agree antibiotics are the way to go. When will you have a follow up appointment? Sweetheart I really hope you are ok, you have been through so much with your hopes raised and dashed so many times. And the lap on top of everything. I don't blame you for not telling people in rl. I wish I hadn't told some (althought didn't actually tell that many).

Pout - I also agree about ignoring embryo grading. If it was good to freeze, it's good to go. And there is such an excellent success rate with FET. Don't lose hope sweetheart, your turn is coming soon.

Cosmos - so great to hear from you and how exciting about the FET. Do you mind me asking how many embryos you have left? The fact that you have made multiple embryos is a goodd start and the rest is just pot luck. Sometimes it happens straight away, sometimes it happens on the 8th go. But there is every reason to have hope. Where on earth did they get 10% chance from???

Rabbit - I hope you have some holidays coming up soon as you have been hard at work. Any news from the clinic? Are you feeling a little better than last week?

Euro - oh honey. I have been thinking of you lots today. I think you deserve a medal. It never rains ay? I think postponing this cycle was a good idea - why add to the stress. I am sure todays treatment will turn out fine but the waiting and interruptions are bound to fill you with frustration and anxiety. You work is pretty full on too. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to escape for 6 months to a dererted island. Actually - if you did, I might just come along too.

Art - oh no, sorry about your kitty. That is very sad. She knows she is loved and knows she has had the best life with you and Mr Art. Take care, I guess the tears are going to roll even more than usual.

Lemon - sorry you have been down and frustrated.. I am not suprised - you have had such a tough going year and somethimes it feels like life has hit the pause button. I think you will find ivf a relief once it gets going. You will be use to the drugs and scans, it will just be a bit more eggs than usual and you will cope superbly, knowing especially your chances are going to increase loads. I think LP will sort out the one egg thing. Good luck with it all.

Zippy - oh no, another lady in the tent. But sometimes its the best place to escape to. I have no alluring treats to ofer (my diet is limited, bland and unhealthy and you really wouldn't like it) but I am sending a nice shoulder massage and a comfy huge cushion thing.

Gin - oh my goodness, what a scary moment indeed. I would have panicked too so don't worry about that. yes - it would seem that it isn't a periody type thing and just something skin related. Awww poor you. So has the nausea stayed away now? (Really hoping not long for me with the sickyness too).

Critter - ooooo that beta sounds fantastic. Hope you are doing ok and the good news is settling in nicely. I bet Mr C is over the moon? Have you had any symptons? Of course it is early days so don't worry in the slightest if not.

Buzz - our other miracle lady - how are you feeling? Is Kayla still going crazy to sit on your lap? Aren't cats supposed to have special powers to know when there is a baby on the way. Hope you are doing ok my lovely.

Joy - hello you. I should imagine that things still feel a little gloomy as these things don't dissapear overnight. I know you are due to go away so not sure if you will see this message but I am thinking of you and have pm'd.

Waves to all the loavely ladies I haven't name checked. Doing ok here. 12 week scan is in 3 weeks. Feeling very unwell but like Gin said before I totally accept that and wouldn't dream of complaining.

buzzybee123 · 20/05/2013 20:58

I am having Monday rage today........................

Aussie Physio: Man you're a mad middle aged woman today
Me: Do you enjoy the use of your limbs
Aussie Physio: um yeahHmm
Me: then shut Grin

I tell you my mood swings are just wild Sad

nelly 3 in a weekend Shock sounds like a sensible plan

art how is your furbaby??

critter Yay to improving beta and first scans, um well I could pay for one on Wednesday when I see my immune specialis, work was so busy today that I didn't get a chance to call my GP Hmm so will most likely be next week but the digi has moved onto 2-3 weeks today

euro I hope all went well today for you

gin I think being mental is part of the process, when I get cramps I swing from oooh the uterus stretching to oh fuck my body is trying to reject when really its most likely my bowels Hmm I'm with the recurrent at my local hospital so I should be able to get scans at 6,8,10 and 14 weeks, I need to ring and check though

lemon that happened to me on most of my IUI despite being on high doses, its bloody frustrating, but it could be the golden egg for you

pout how are the dogs, I'm on the steroids until if I get to 12 weeks

mrsd I used to get UTI's alot when I was younger, they can be very painful

sar Kayla is all over me but that is because Barry is away, he was offered a job this morning so we shall see what happens over the next 2 weeks but it is a relief that things are on the up for him

Well steroid diet today is cereal followed by toast at work, followed by toasts and avocado x 2, bananas x 2, yogurt, 16 mini potato/vege cakes, 3 biscuits and a sandwich, followed by pizza and wedges for dinner Shock Hmm

EuroShaggleton · 20/05/2013 21:34

drizz I hope you slapped him for that comment!

gin not long now to your scan!

buz anyone who called me middle aged would be needing a physio!

nelly sorry about the announcements.

critter how are you feeling?

mrsd sorry about the uti. Haven't we been through enough?

joy how are you doing?

pout FET really does have great success rates - you WILL get there.

Thanks for thinking of me ladies. Your support really does help.

The only dr in London who hadn't yet peered up my chuff has now had a gander. I liked him much more than the chap I saw last year for the cervical stuff. Basically, he had a look, really couldn't see anything to worry about, wasn't going to do anything and then changed his mind, saying there was a tiny area which might just be where the HPV virus is sitting or could be the area of mild abnormality, so he took a biopsy of that (basically just grabbing a bit of my cervix between forceps and yanking - ow). He said he actually took most of the area away with the biopsy, it was that small. Results should come in next week, but he is not expecting it to show anything other than a mild abnormality and is happy for me to crack on with IVF. I'm slightly uncomfortable now, but not too bad. Mostly relieved. Hopefully the biopsy result will not provide further worry and we can forget about all this until the next smear in 6 months.

We've decided to take Friday off and make this a 4 day weekend. I think we both need it.

mrsden · 20/05/2013 21:45

That sounds very reassuring euro. There must have been a reason why you weren't meant to cycle in June, the July one is going to be golden! A long weekend is a great idea, you've earned it.

buzzybee123 · 20/05/2013 21:49

ooh that sounds like a good idea, sadly there are so many people off at the moment but might check for Tuesday, both my colleagues are 26

GinSoaked · 21/05/2013 09:06

euro I'm so pleased to hear that it's looking like everything is ok. Sounds like he managed to remove the potentially dodgy bit, ouch! I hope you manage to have a relaxing long weekend and before you know it you'll be back on the AC bandwagon x

2-3 weeks already buzzy, hmmm. At this point, the one I did said 1-2. Didn't you have 2 embies put back?!

sar sorry to hear you are still feeling so shitty. Do go to the drs and get something if it's too bad. I had a good day yesterday with little nausea, til I went to bed and woke up gagging half an hour after going to sleep!

Luffs to all, esp the tent dwellers.

mrsden · 21/05/2013 09:27

Buzzy, I was wondering about twins too Grin that's wonderful news about Barry's job. I think things are on the up for you!

Gin, the sickness sounds dreadful, although reassuring. Have you told many people yet? When I'm feeling totally despondent I think of you Smile

The sun is out today hurray! I'm wearing a dress but its a little big on the top half, I'm missing my progesterone boobage. I'm feeling a little better today so I might hold off on visiting the doctor. It's not like the uk, there is no way I would get away without a full examination. I'm talking internal, swabs, blood test, urine sample. I just don't think I can face it ATM, I feel so messed about with already. Euro, I understand what you mean about all of London looking up your chuff, we might as well go on embarrassing bodies!

EuroShaggleton · 21/05/2013 11:30

mrsd I completely understand how you feel about being messed around with. I long for the days when the only drs visits I had were my smear tests every three years with very occasional minor ailments inbetween!

My boobs are awful at the moment. I've lost a couple of pounds of post-preggo bloat, but seemingly all from there! Grrrr.

gin waking up gagging sounds horrible. I'm sorry you and sar are suffering.

I had a bit of a sore night (felt like my fanny was on fire - one of the solutions they swab with to show abnormal cells is 5% acid (basically vinegar) and then the silver nitrate stuff he put on after the biopsy cauterises the tissue so more burning), but I feel ok this morning. I've been to see my lovely acu lady and feel much better for it. The only thing I'm wondering is where all the iodine and stuff is that he put up there. I saw him use loads and he warned me about clothes staining, but so far not a drop has appeared. Perhaps I have a secret compartment up there. Maybe that is where all the sperm hides too!

ThatWayMadnessLies · 21/05/2013 13:04

So pleased you're feeling ok today euro. July is a very good month in ny family so a good omen in my book Grin.

Was just saying to a friend yesterday mrsd that i miss the days when i thought of myself as a healthy person. now i am constantly worried about hidden infections that are waiting to bite me in the arse and planning my holidays around injection dates and clinic appointments.It doesn't sound crazy to want to keep this to yourself. I just don't think i could have kept my mouth shut all this time!

I'm sorry for all the announcements nelly. I've had a few second babies announced recently and bracing myself for several more. meh. I hope you're enjoying the sun today. I'm having lunch in the car with the windows down Grin.

Big waves and salty crackers for gin and sar. Every day is one day closer to the glowing trimester xx

I have run out of time and must go back to work. Back later.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 22/05/2013 07:25

Morning lovelies! Working from home pre- and post-IUI so will be in and out a bit. How are things? Sorry for the tent dwelling. And the feeling unhealthy because of it all. When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some drucks the other day they were doing a questionaire and I denied using any medication, despite being there to pick up some. Since running lots and ignoring fertility shit I seem to feel healthy again :)

mrsden · 22/05/2013 07:49

There's a zita web chat today on fertility, it's that weird campaign Kate garraway is fronting to tell women not to leave it too late Hmm

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 22/05/2013 08:04

Yeah, that drives me round the bent a fair bit... And how many of us on this thread really left it "too late"? We just happened to have other problems. GRRR.

mrsden · 22/05/2013 08:13

I find it hard to believe that any woman doesn't know that fertility declines with age. It's all the daily fail write about. I might post something on there in a bit. But I'll have to tone down my real thoughts :)