The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

[Bunnygirlie]

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

Hi sid. Sounds like this is an ongoing problem that you should really try and shelve for shag week and maybe bring up again during af when it won't harm things quite as much. U know what it's like trying to ignore something for the sake of harmony and it willing be easy, but I think you said it yourself - it's not going to get resolved or fixed while you need to keep the peace and get all sexy. hugs and . I can't imagine how hard it is to be a SM while also TTC and I send you lots of hugs and support through the wire xxx

Aaargh. I hate it that my phone thinks I say U when I want to say I......

Hi all,

sid I echo tally, shelf it for SW. I don't have nearly such a major thing to worry about but I do bite my tongue a lot more when I need DH on side. After all if there's no baby, then there's nothing to worry about anyway! Get diffed as first priority.

cate I too echo the others with about your GP and her blatant stupidity I would arm yourself with the regs and get back there to see a different doctor. It makes me so mad that the treatment you get is so dependent upon the person you see. Like sid says, what's the point of bloody guidelines?!!! (sorry Sid I don't know the answer to the question)

Can someone pm me a cheapy hpt? I'll pay you back, promise....

Hi Sid as a fellow SM I know exactly what you mean. It's no coincidence when I look at FF that our BD dates are very rarely when we have SS. I killed the moment last night when asking when he was going to sign his divorce papers (it's taken 7 yrs for either of them to bother serving them FFS & now his ex has done so I just want him to do it. He's promised he'll be divorced by the time our baby is born so he potentially still has a bit of time ) & for an inexplicable reason it's still a sensitive subject. I will be shelving it & all other touchy subjects for the next 2 weeks or until O whichever comes first!

Ooh Thunder is it that time already? If I had any I'd be forcing one down the wires but I have banned all pimping equipment in this house until at least CD30 this time round. Hope you find one and it gives the right answer!

Sid agree with others, the main concern is getting diffed. Leave the big issues for when you don't need him to perform, getting swimmers out of a sulky DP is never easy! It's something that you'll obviously have to confront at some point but probably not worth wasting a cycle over. And yes, I do put off having a good nag until AF if I know we're going to have a proper barney over it which is annoying because sometimes AF takes her sweet time

As I understand it, guidelines like NICE are exactly that - there for guidance, but not the iron word of the law. That said, if you put in a complaint and they haven't adhered to guidelines without a good reason, they're likely to get bollocked. I'd hope that waving the evidence of what NICE says in their faces would scare them into persuade them to do what you're asking.

Frog rather chuffed to be mistaken for the lovely boodle!

Am fuming quietly at this end. Had my bloods taken on 22 March at gynae clinic, haven't heard a peep from them since. I took it upon myself to phone up, get the results sent to my GP and collect the results, which were abnormal (testosterone 2.2 where 1.8 is high end of normal = indicative of PCOS, along with missing AF, infertility and weight gain should mean a diagnosis from what I understand and what the GP said). Nobody has contacted me from the clinic since 22 March. I've phoned up about six times and been fobbed off that the consultant is on holiday, is dealing with it, is off sick, isn't there... today when I phoned she was off sick again. They don't know if she's reviewed the results or not, no letter has been sent according to the system. The GP won't see me until I'm discharged from consultant care. Am I within my rights to be totally pissed off annoyed? Surely it shouldn't take them a month to discuss my blood results with me?? I just want a diagnosis and to move forward!!

Peanut I'd be fuming if I were you! Can you not phone your GP & see if they can do anything? (probably futile I know) Or try writing a letter to the clinic thretening to complain to management?

I have now had a bit more of a look at the NICE guidelines & think they could be very helpful. Might wave the bit about alcohol & sperm in DP's face. Saturday when we went food shopping we got 3 bottles of white wine (his poison of choice) & he said that was for the weekend & he wasn't going to drink in the week. Anyway I got back from meeting a friend yesterday (& my 1 glass of wine) to find that he was 2/3 of the way through another bottle he'd bought & then proceeded to finish the rest!! Really don't think he will listen to me though until the day his jizz test comes back abnormal, his ego is forced to accept he's no longer in his 30s & the dr tells him to lay off the booze.

Thunder I've stocked up on ICs so would love to send you one but not sure the technology is quite there yet. FX for the pimping though!

PS

lol send them here frog, I'm the printer here!

Aw Frog stubborn DHs are so annoying! Mine isn't much of a drinker but he loves his hot baths and won't give them up

Took your advice, have just phoned the GP and whinged told them the issue, my GP is going to see me on Tues next week to discuss results. So hopefully she can get something moving, although so far she's been as much use as an inflatable dartboard.

Can you guard the printer at work? Or do it after work, sneaky-style?

peanut that is diabolical. I would be absolutely fuming if I were you. Not good enough. And I'd be ringing up and saying 'i would like somebody to ring me by the end of today to discuss these results with me'. End of.

Oh just read your update. Good work. who says I'm slow? Huh?

frog I had a little chuckle when I thought you were going to wave alcohol and sperm in your OH's face. Thanks for the offer for sticks....damn technology.

Another day, another application form....
Thanks for the encouragement about dtd. We didnt manage it again last night. Dh is out this evening, but may pounce on him when he gets home. I've got the beginnings of EWCM, so perhaps all is not lost. We're at a friend's on Saturday night, so I'd like to get another 2 doses before we go and one on Sunday to make sure. The marvellous thing is though, if these are ov signs, then I should have a 28 day cycle this month!!!!!
Do you dtd much outside of SW? I think that's the issue for us. We need more practice of regular dtd other than at vital times. Or, just aim for cd 12 onwards, rather than cd10, in the hope that it will line up around cd 14.

sid, i would totally shelve issues around SW. I know it feels manipulative, but needs must. I feel the same about spending my time charting pimping etc and then encouraging him to dtd, when ordinarily, I wouldn't bother!! I think we women have to take control of many aspects of ttc, and atmosphere is an important one.

peanut - great about the appointment. not so great that you had to chase.... grrr

P.S. I was less subtle with the teacher today - asked him what he plans to write on reports at the end of the year for music!! He said he wouldn't be able to write anything. I then told him that he had to ask PPA cover to teach it as well as RE. He said he will!! I'll believe it when I see it, as she's not in school now until the day she covers him, so it won't happen next week... I also brought the laptops in for ICT and we didn't use them!!

Charming it sounds like your teacher just doesn't get it, and he's coasting til the end of the year. Any chance his contract won't get renewed? If you don't change jobs, can you at least work under a different teacher? He would drive me bananas. He's not even trying

Peanut good on you for making the call; I'm glad the GP will see you. You'd think the consultant would have someone covering if s/he were unavailable for that long, but I guess that'd take the fun away

we do DTD outside of SW, quite a bit , barring the usual stalemate-type issues that pop up every time his exw calls periodically. It really does feel vaguely manipulative to button my lip so SW isn't torpedoed, but if you guys do the same, then at least I can feel morally iffy about it in good company.

Here's a new one, anyone use a Mooncup? I'd never heard of it til recently and was kind of intrigued, but then I read some people use it as a TTC aid. I got one today. BTW K-town is full of pregnant ladies...again.

Oooh mooncup can be used as a TTC aid?! We had a discussion a while back about them as a few of us use them for AF. I guess theory is that sperm can't escape but somehow I can't imagine that they would get that far down then turn round & swim back up again. You usually wear a mooncup quite low down otherwise it's a bugger to get back out again. Willing to give it a try though & guess it keeps the preseed / preconceive in place for a while after too.

Is it wrong that I am now singing mooncup.com in my head?!?!?

Balls, I forgot to call docs today for day20 blood test results, will have to wait till Monday now doh!

why Monday bunny? it's not Friday yet...?

barking I?m sure I do your mantra every Sunday at yoga ?it doesn?t effing work lol!!!!

Vicky very jealous of your IVF! Been ttc for 2 years too, its rubbish isn?t it?!!!

Tally is the appointment for a HSG? When I had mine, the woman who booked it was like ?if you have sex at all we will know about it? hahaha. Do agree with abstaining but my intelligence was slightly insulted!

MerkinI went through the same stresses with my new job. I was so worried I?d get pregnant in the first month of being there. Now 4 months later?I really don?t give a damn! Although because I?ve gone from one NHS job to another so the maternity pay is fine ?not that I?ll need it--Congratulations!!!

Oh knowledgeable berries I know I could post my own thread for this but I'd rather just as you guys!

Last month I started to BBT (I was taking clomid) and had a perfect chart with a rise consistent with the OPK. However, I decided against clomid this month and also decided to sack off the OPKs for once. I've had no BBT rise (I'm CD 21) but I've had some CM several days ago.

Do you think its possible that I've not ovulated? Or just that the BBT hasn't worked for me this month? Whenever I've had progesterone tests, my results have been excellent, hence why I doubted needing the clomid in the first place!

bunny and frog mooncup.com made me laugh!!! nice to know there are some fellow mooncup converts on here too!
Didn't ever think one would help with TTC but have wondered about putting a cap in after??
peanut i would not be quietly by fuming, but loudly exploding! twats! Oh and the GP will have to see you if you just make an appt.
sid hi! totally pick your timing with 'issues' especialy if they are ongoing and would not be resoved completely when you bring them up anyway!

kitty, sorry I don't know the answer to that one. The other berries will though!

sid another ktown lady! Too many bumps around, by far. You're right about my teacher. But, he was like this last year, apparently, so it's not just because he's on the home stretch. If I do end up staying at my school, I'd hope I wouldn't be with him again. I'd have to do something drastic! Like get pg!

Bwaha Mooncup.com! Can't say I've ever tried one for either reason. I always assumed I'd get in a bit of a..erm..mess? But do correct me if I'm wrong, oh mooncuppers!

Kitty not a clue I'm afraid, but sure the temping experts will be along to help soon

Charming we DTD about 2-3 days, SW or not except when AF is around. This is mainly because I don't know when SW is, but also because he totally wilts under pressure so I just don't tell him when I think we might be in with a chance. This leads to some frustrating times when I'm convinced the big O is happening, but we do manage it a lot at least it feels that way so I reckon if a sneaky egg does make a break for it, we're covered...hopefully.

No Kitty, it's the initial gynae appt at the hospital after referral from GP. Our main problem is that we both really dislike condoms, so I know it's not really a good reason not to dtd, but it really dampens the whole thing and makes me not really want to do it as much. I'd like to talk to the nurse about getting the coil put back in, but it'd probably upset things for whatever tests might be planned for me in the near future...

GRRRAAOWWWL

My friend, who is in all aspects other than this entirely lovely, has just been chatting to me on FB. During the course of the conversation (in which I mentioned I'd been to cinema with DH tonight) she not only said 'f** off with your date night, you're so lucky - it's a dream for us, please make the most of it while you have the chance' but also 'just remember it always happens to people who seem to relax about it'. Bear in mind she's a total instadiffer who's had 3 babies in 3 years, and knows perfectly well about both the mc and the fact that we're struggling.

I don't think she has the slightest inkling that she might have just upset me

Grrrrrr peanut what a witch! My beautician friend (with the tubes that are fecked) told a friend of hers that she had to have ivf and in the replying text the girl said, oh that's awful, guess what I'm pregnant! FFS!

tally don't think my doc works Fridays!

peanut and trying my friends little girl kept singing moonpiss.com

Peanut What a nightmare you are having! It's so stressful having to constantly rant on the phone to get anywhere. And now your friend is being totally insensitive