The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

[Bunnygirlie]

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

that's prett much what I've done. she's still on mat leave so she'll never know anyway.

Oh definitely bin it and then have some chocolate :)

Hello ladies and hugs for tallyra and booktart
First day back at work today after MMC and ERPC last week. So far not too bad - physically I'm fine. Fortunately the legions of pregnant women that were in the office until recently are all safely off on maternity leave now.
I spotted a 'baby on board' badge this morning too, and it made me grr quite unexpectedly, so I think still lots of emotions yet to come out. Still deciding whether to tell one of my close friends at work - all they know so far is that I had a minor op last week that needed general anaesthetic.

If you are close with your friend I would tell her. If you are having trouble I find that it's helpful to have someone that you can talk things through with, and I found that things would hit me randomly. I have told mist people in the office but there's only one that I actually talk to about it. She's really young and so has no experience with any of it but also probably won't get duffed any time soon. She's also really excited about everything so I actually feel good talking to her, not depressed.

I'd tell someone in the office if there is a particular person you're close to poppy. I didn't tell anyone at work (or indeed, anywhere else apart from the gp surgery) and it wasn't terribly sensible, as crying in the bread aisle at Asda proves . I wish I'd told work now that I'm having all this time off for tests, and also so that the next time one of the young and fertile get diffed/bring their baby into the office people might be a bit more understanding.

I hope you're doing okay today.

Hello all, sorry to hear about all the baby photos, asda-aisle weeping and usual TTC emotional shizzle.
Just got back from the Drs (been trying since September and have had PID in the past so thought I'd go for advice / tests now) and she basically said 'chill out, keeping having sex, you're young, come back at Xmas' - that just seems like such a long time!
It was comforting that she said I shouldn't worry about my tubes (which she conceded might be 'sticky') because I only had PID for two weeks.
BUT annoyingly I went into long learned best-behaviour mode: when she asked me what contraception we'd been using I blurted 'condoms' when in fact we have been using withdrawal. If I had been honest she might have been more concerned! Grr.
I did have a terrible bout of anxiety which messed with my cycles between September - December so I guess it really hasn't been that long - although why oh why didn't I say about withdrawal!!

Thanks tallyra. On the one hand I'm thinking that it might be nice to have work as a place where people don't know this about me, and so I don't have to deal with head-tilted sympathy. On the other, as you've said, it would be nice to be able to share when something does hit me, and I'm not sure how that's going to play out in the next few weeks.

Brodicea sorry to hear about your frustrating conversation. At least she seemed positive about the tubes. TBH the biology for TTC is shockingly inefficient! Not sure I understand the implications of the withdrawal thing - what do you think she would have said different?

Thanks Poppy I guess as it's such a terribly unreliable contraceptive method, I was hoping she might have sent me for some tests sooner.. but she might not, she did seem pretty chilled about the whole thing.

On the issue of telling people at work, I've only told one person from a related department (who I've known for years) and no-one in my immediate team. Mind you, I haven't worked there long: I'd be torn between making sure people were aware of my possible distraction and inviting unhelpful advice and comments (EVERYONE has kids in the office bar one young male admin assistant - and one of them spends most of her time slagging off her child and saying she wishes she never had her so that just makes me feel annoyed and a bit depressed).

Hi all, just bobbed in to say hello, have been keeping my head down and avoiding all the pregnant ladies at work!

Boo to the baby photos and tears in the supermarket. Kitty, I've also been asked to be G-mother recently, to the most recent child of my instadiffer friend (3 pregnancies in 3 years)..she of the 'oh god I'm so fertile, I hope I'm not pregnant AGAIN' posts on FB. Christenings...GAK. I would have cried at that grandma comment, have some sympathy

Brodicea do you mean that if you'd said withdrawal it would mean you'd been having unprotected sex for longer so you could have had your fc appt bumped forward? If you're kicking yourself, no reason why you couldn't phone the GP and ask for a phone consultation and explain this. We all say stupid stuff to the doc sometimes, they'll understand (and if they don't - find a new doc!)

Have lost track of the rest of the conversation now and can't scroll back up, sorry to everyone I've missed and hello to trying!

Ooh, that would really upset me too brodi
To be honest, I think that sometimes the doctors won't actually send people for tests until they jump up and down - I gave up waiting for advice and basically said 'I want to be referred'. Doctor then said ok. However, its another thing all together whether the clinic gets the letter. I ended up facing a copy of it myself today. we'll see what happens.

faxing

Thanks Bombastic - will see if I can pluck up the courage to call them and explain (although I am worried that I might sound like a crazy lady...). Yeah I didn't go in there and stomp around, which maybe I should have. But part of me thinks we should probably have a good go at it this month before I start getting too stroppy - We normally fizzle out on the shagging by the end of the fertile week and I want to make sure I religiously poas and we keep up the dtd momentum, and am going to try out the mythical pre-seed. I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder so a) wonder if I'm getting myself in a lather over TTC unnecessarily or b) my 'condition' makes it hard to be assertive - probably a bit of both.

Grr to the NHS's labyrinthine bureaucracy! Good luck getting it all sorted Tallrya

Although I worry having anxiety problems on my file marks me out as a stress-head and I won't get taken seriously - it reminds me of my Dad's phrase 'even hypochondriacs get ill you know'

Hello all! Wow, being back at work was a shock to the system today! And AF showed up just before I left the house, so back to CD1 again here. Not too bothered as I'm focusing on the fc appointment now - only 2 days left to wait!!

Yorkie two nights in a row I've dreamt that DP and I split up . Never had a dream like that before and never come remotely close to it in RL, it was horrible .

trying sounds like you're similar to me, I'm on cycle 17 now and going to the fc on Wednesday. I've been temping for the last 10 cycles and opk for two so I'm pretty definite my LP is usually 8 days, occasionally varying by a day or two. Have you been temping to identify O or just dtd all the way through the month?
tally take the photo home and put it straight in the bin.
booktart I know little, but the follicles sound good!!
poppy hope you're still holding up ok
brod I wouldn't wait until xmas, go back at the end of August when you can say you've been ttc for a year.

Right, off for a run in the sunshine

Brod I've been TTC about the same amount of time as you. When I went to the GP in February she said to come back in a few months (I'm going back next month) and she would be vague about how long I'd been trying and refer me early. So definitely don't wait until Xmas as it can take 3 months for your referral appointment to come through. Forcefulness may be required! I saw a very sympathetic female GP who had a young child herself so I think I was lucky. Would have been more vague about how long I'd been TTC but I was prescribed 6 months of bc pills last March so don't think I'd get away with it!

Barking - a run I've just come in from school and after 6 lessons, 2 duties, a commute and a hellish departmental meeting the only place I'm going is bed for a much needed power hour

hello hello!
How are you all? Sorry about the with the photos and pg bumps. The woman at work who is due in June isn't showing at all!
been to visit that school - it was AMAZING! They have chickens! and a gym! and an outdoor stage! and a cycle track! The downside is, I get the impression it may be a bit stressy, as the deputy took my call over the holiday and she mentioned that people were in over the holiday to do displays....it's not that I don't expect to work over holidays, it's just I don't know whether I want to feel OBLIGED to, if that makes sense. They have PE every day....
I'll apply. I doubt I'll get shortlisted though. My deputy said a while ago that she'd look through some applications with me. Should I take her up on it?
anyway, not much ttc news. another day of 'high' on the cbfm, but no other symptoms of ov like I had last time. cd 12, so it could be soon, non?

ah yes, happy - enjoy the power hour. very underrated.

thunder there are other threads?!? Are you cheating on us

barking I agree with happy a run?!? Are you crazy???

Only the mc one bunny so I can whinge and hopefully offer support to others going through what I did. I hope that's ok?

we'll let you off, thunder

Evening all. Sorry for everyone having a shitty day. I came back from work to use my new batch of pee sticks however my wee basically looked like water so wasn't surprised to not see any lines. Also these sticks are ever so slightly different to my last batch only an obsessed freak like me would notice but will see what fmu brings tomorrow. Am planning a lazy night on the sofa as I'm shattered even tho I really should be doing some tidying

Argh Facebook pregnancy announcement by my first boyfriends daughter. She's not even 20