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Original poster

TTC after MC - nice people in crap times, full of posifrickingtivity

982 replies

WillSantaComeAgain · 02/04/2013 13:49

Welcome aboard ladies (though obviously sorry you have to be here). We're a friendly bunch so come in and plump up a cushion for POAS Fridays and lots of posifrickingtivity. With a few (gentle) fish slaps thrown in for good measure.

OP posts:
ChocolateCremeEggBag · 03/04/2013 17:30

Hi Angel and Cad - sorry that you are finding yourselves here.

Angel - have you had any investigations after your 2 early MC's? Sounds like you have been through the mill more that most!

Cad - it's worth the second scan just to make sure you have actually passed everything. Ask them to check your ovaries as they may be able to see if you are about to ov - you will probably be advised to wait for 1-3 AF's but plenty of people have started to ttc straight away once the bleeding has stopped.

AngelMummy2012 · 03/04/2013 17:58

Thank you Garden.

Chocolate I know the reason for my late loss and have been offered extra scans and swabs for reasurance. But unfortunately I'm still awaiting a letter back from my reccurent miscarriage tests. They got the results back over 2 weeks ago, so I'm guessing all results are normal. as they haven't asked me to come in Hmm

If you ladies don't mind me asking when and how far along were your loses? Never thought so many woman went through pregnancy loss Sad

GardenWorm · 03/04/2013 18:47

Angel 5 weeks and 8 weeks, am 6+3 with fingers crossed and am grateful (if that's the right word) that my MC's were early. It must be incredibly difficult to lose a baby further on (and I don't agree with it still being called a miscarriage). X

AngelMummy2012 · 03/04/2013 19:55

Sorry to hear about you two losses, but congratulations on your new pregnancy.. sending you lots of sticky vibes! [Thanks]

I thought i was the only one who didn't agree with late losses being called miscarriages! I say he's a stillbirth, as he was only a week away Sad. They wouldn't of saved him if he was born breathing! I was treated badly, so making a complaint then trying to get it recognised!

Hope this pregnancy goes swiftly for you! [Smile]

alyant79 · 03/04/2013 20:00

Welcome cad and angel and the others whose names I've forgotten (on phone).
You've all had a rough time recently.
Angel I would call them. Don't assume that they are on the ball with getting back to you. As you say, probably there is nothing wrong, but it can't hurt to ring them.

I had an anembryonic pregnancy/missed miscarriage, diagnosed at my 12 week scan. There was just a big empty sac there, nothing else.

alyant79 · 03/04/2013 20:02

Cross posts. Angel that is really tough. Fight hard girl!

AngelMummy2012 · 03/04/2013 20:46

We rung them 2 weeks ago and they said someone has to write the letter then it will be posted. I'm getting my partner to call tomorrow.

I will fight, pregnant woman need more recognition!

Sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage Sad

LittleBairn · 03/04/2013 21:03

Angel I was really shocked they use MC as a term for any baby born under 24 weeks. I'm used to it now and accept it as a medical term, but the first time it was used in regards to me it was a shock, especially as they had just struggled the separate me from the placenta for 8 hours.

I was stunned at how slow the system of testing can be especially if you want to wait for the results before you TTC again. DS full post mortum results took around 17 weeks to get back that's just a bit longer than I was pregant!
But we are still waiting some clarifications after getting a very vague letter from my consultant.

I do feel our locally hosptial could try a bit harder to understand how hard it can be on couples, I had one midwife quip "well all DHs have to leave each night..." I did answer back "are all their babies dying too..."
The sent him home and I woke up early morning knowing that DS was gone.

I too have some issues I would like to take up with the hosptial but I feel so scared to mentally relive it all, drag it all up.

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 03/04/2013 21:16

I had a natural MC the day after scan at 8 weeks which showed that my little one had stopped developing at around 6.5 weeks ( just after the first scan basically).
Angel - losing at 23 weeks cannot be the same, really hope you get some answers

Weaselicious · 03/04/2013 21:20

Just a quick update and a massive thank you to the team at Pembury hospital A&E who saw me so quickly this evening after two doctors at my GPs dismissed my miscarriage over the phone.

Have had proper exam, fluids and IV painkillers and have final scan booked for tomorrow instead of next week. Cervix closed so have either completed miscarriage or ? Will know tomorrow. Pretty sure is MC but fucking hell, what a difference actually being listened to makes. Obs & Gynae doc told me I'd done exactly the right thing going in so if you know something's not right don't be fobbed off. Hugs all xx

Mummytothearkbuilder · 03/04/2013 21:21

Hello ladies - hope you have all had lovely Thursdays. Welcome to the new ladies, sorry you find yourself here - it's so sad but you will find lots of support on here.

Saggy - I am the same as you Hun - AF just finishing and trying to take a more casually approach this cycle as I got a bit obsessed and slightly sex pest like last cycle Blush I am going to do my OPKs everyday to get a better idea of my cycle and also watch my LP as it seemed short last cycle - I am looking into vitamin B but I'm getting myself confused!! X

Mummytothearkbuilder · 03/04/2013 21:23

Sorry ladies, I meant to say - hope you have had lovely Wednesdays! Xx

Weaselicious · 03/04/2013 21:29

Sorry if previous post was a bit down - thought after us written this night not be the right place. X

Weaselicious · 03/04/2013 21:30

Might not be the right place even. Face palm.

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 03/04/2013 21:44

No weasel - good to hear you got seen and treated well. Makes me feel better that we can get good service in the hospitals as well as bad.

Hope you get good news at the scan tomorrow - IFYKWIM

GardenWorm · 03/04/2013 21:52

Weasel fingers are crossed for you. Well done for sticking up for yourself and getting the treatment you deserve. Glad Pembury has come up trumps for you, it's my 'local' and I've had a mixed bag there. X

BootyBigFatFridayBanger · 04/04/2013 06:55

Hello everyone - welcome to the recently joined ladies, so sorry to see you here

Been lurking recently but that's about it, feeling a bit mardy. Am due to POAS next fertile Fri 12th if anyone wants to join me? x

alyant79 · 04/04/2013 07:28

Weasel that's good you got sorted at hospital yesterday. Fx the scan gives you clear answers today

Weaselicious · 04/04/2013 09:25

Thanks Alyant. This is quite shit isn't it? Feeling all over the place this morning.

Deep breaths.

Thinking posifrickingtively though, nicest thing yesterday was DH gently correcting my 'if' we try again to 'when'. He's been amazing - passes out at the sight of needles/blood so spent yesterday evening sat in the floor of the cubicle in A&E so he was there but didn't have far to fall :)

fod27 · 04/04/2013 09:34

Hi guys sorry I went AWOL lol just tried to find you guys :) here's a pop quiz for ya.... I had AF which was very light and spotting (first one post ERPC) then it stopped for a couple of days followed by a day of normal bleeding (well normal for me - as in not heavy or light) followed by brownish blood, is this normal? Should I be worried? Been soddin self diagnosing via google .... Not good....could it be Ashermans?

alyant79 · 04/04/2013 09:59

fod i don't know. haven't had first AF yet. But sounds like the first one is often a bit strange. I don't know what Ashermans is, and I'm not going to google it - no doubt I will scare myself.
Sorry Sad

weasel good luck today. Yay for supportive DH, i hope he doesn't faint today!

cadi next thursday sounds a awfully long time to wait. Could you try and get in earlier?? You are very brave to be planning on going to your work party afterward. There is no way that I could have gone to something like that. Mostly because I get the most terrible blotchy red swollen face after crying which stays around for hours.
Also it seems to be totally normal to want to get pg again immediately. It's so hard to adjust to suddenly being not-pregnant.

going to buy my cheapie sticks today for poas friday. very nervous and scared, but completely expecting a bfn, so will fall off the toilet if it's anything else.

DIYandEatCake · 04/04/2013 12:45

fod I think it's normal for the first af to be screwed up, and if I remember right from my googling while trying to decide what to do about my mc, one of the signs of ashermans is no bleeding? (Don't quote me on that though...!) it might not be over yet, my first af (after a 'natural' mc) was stop-start for a few days before it got going, lasted nearly 2 weeks in all Confused.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 04/04/2013 13:02

Fod I had a very similar first AF. The brown spotting went on for ages. The next one was much more normal.
Mummy I think 100mg of b6 is a good place to start from what Ive read, but there was also something else about taking it with b12 to balance it out? Im monitoring another cycle, then Ill look into it further.
Agnus Castus is another option, but apparently you ought not to take it without seeing a herbalist first.

Original poster
WillSantaComeAgain · 04/04/2013 13:08

Hello all,

Went to the dr this morning, slightly in two minds as to whether I wanted to go, as even if he did offer to start testing now (following 2MMCs) I'm not sure I want it yet. Anyway, as expected, he wasn't inclined to go for tests yet but has agreed that he'll refer me for an early scan next time without having to go through the pain of booking in.

Still in a bad place about actually wanting to get pregnant - I really don't. But I so desparately want another baby that I feel really conflicted. I've finally lost ALL the weight I put on with DC1 and some more, and I'm almost back at my pre-sedentary job thinnest and I'm loving it. That's such a crap reason not to get pg again, but its really weighing on my mind (pardon the pun).

I'm also really enjoying all the things that you can do when you're not pregnant - not just drinking (doesn't fit well with weightloss) but generally having fun and feel good, physically.

I know it sounds really bad, especially round here where I know that everyone would kill to be pg again, but I know you don't mind me being honest.

But back poCBFMs again this week - CD10 and first high today. Though its hard to get us both in the mood to DtD when its so damn cold at night that I'm in thick (and very unsexy) flannel pjs and socks!! Grin

So, assuming that i don't ovulate for another week, what do you reckon? DtD every other night till I get a peak?

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 04/04/2013 13:28

Will I think feeling torn is natural. You have been through an ordeal and there is a chance that if you get PG you will go through it again. I think it is also tied up with hormones being all over the place and once they settle down its easier to be objective. Nobody would blame you for not wanting to go through all the worry and stress again. You just need to go with your heart.
And yes every other day now and every day for 3 days once you actually ovulate according to SMEP.

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