Excellent (or should that be eggcellent?) egg buddies! Anyone having IVF/ICSI in April/May/June 2013 come and join us!

[EuroShaggleton]

We've almost filled the second thread so here is a new one, so we can carry on chatting! Threads #1 and #2 saw some stunning successes and some sad outcomes. We'll have more of the former and less of the latter on thread #3 please!

All comers welcome. I found it very useful to be with people going through the same thing when I did my first cycle, so if you would like to join us, please come on in!

Buzzy and cuckoo We had a Spanish clinic recommended to us, but I couldn't imagine trying to manage clinic appointments abroad and working at the same time. I also worried about possible language barrier problems. I must be missing a trick though, as you and others just seem to take it in your stride.
Thanks for sharing your positive thoughts cuckoo - maybe 60% is realistic, but it doesn't seem to match the HFEA figures. Fingers crossed!
Yes, buzzy, back to housework..
Good luck euro - you probably need a bit of time to recover from your recent mc, then back to it next month - fingers crossed!!

motor wow. Good for you. It sounds as though you have made the right choice for you. you can use, abuse or just muse on here, we're always around to listen, give advice or just swear randomly (me, usually). I am also so sorry about your MC. It's tough. I am just trying to get back to the gym (which is a terrible use of the English language, I AM going to the gym), lose the fucking weight I have put on by shovelling nuts (to help with implantation and for protein) down my gob and scoop my brain up and mould it back into something remotely useful. I am doing reflexology, acupuncture, knocking back supplements like some sort of drugs fiend and not going back to my bad wine'n'smoking ways ! It's funny but my confidence has also taken a bit of a hit after all this, so I am trying to re-introduce myself back into the wild (I.e., the real world) and see people. I am so anxious about them asking me how I feel (I don't fucking know, next daft question) or being too mushy (I am sick of crying so please don't set me off). Likewise, I am also anxious about people trying to 'understand' (unless you have experience of it, you cannot so please don't bother. If you say anything else I may punch you in the head). I know that I am asking a lot of people by expecting them to get the pitch right but until they do, I'll stick to going home and getting my head right, ta.

Anyway, rant over.

cuckoo come on in and pull up a chair ! Wow for you too - DE's can be difficult for some to come to terms with but sounds as though you have it cracked. My other half has also failed to pack-in smoking but he has super perfect sperm so it doesn't matter so much for him. The fucker. These boards are brilliant for supporting you though this fucking mental process so offload whenever you have to. They helped me such a lot.

buzz HOLA !

Noks xx

motor they all seem to speak pretty good English that I can understand

nokkie I really feel for you. I only told my closest friends about getting pregnant and the mc as I was so embarrassed at having gotten pregnant by an ex and rubbish boyfriend. Even then, some people said things that hurt badly even though unintentionally, and it took me a long time to forgive. You cry as much as you need to! The rest of the world will just have to deal with it. I got to the point of not even trying to hide it cos it was so so frequent. It's part of your legitimate grief for your loss. I found great relief in talking to people who had gone through the same thing. You must just look after yourself. It will get easier, but it is very tough now I know.

Thank you, ladies for the welcome. Blooming heck, Buzzy, we might've bumped into one another over in Brno! I have to say I have been absurdly cavalier in the preparation and research of overseas IVF. I read so, so much about others' experiences of IVF on here, however, and am not prepared to spend ridiculous amounts of cash on sperm fragmentation tests, immumes, IUI (does this process ever fucking work??) and nutritionists. I haven't the time or the inclination to fuck about, I'm afraid. I acknowledge it would be lovely to use my own eggs but it's too much of a gamble (even though I'm awaiting results of my AMH test, which I am expecting to be very good for my age). I think, since the miscarriage, I have lost all faith in my body and I am more than happy to hand over the responsibility of fertility to a lovely young donor.

Buzzy, I am not cross at Mum; I defy her to not be a jibbering, dribbling mess when she is holding her twin grandsons in her arms

Buzzy, what percentage success rate have Reprofit given you for our age group?

motor thanks. I just find my patience with people quite low sometimes ! I just don't want to be known as the friend who couldn't.....you know, couldn't keep a baby or couldn't succeed at IVF. It's completely irrational I know (and most of it is in my own head) but it will get better with time. I don't like being too down for too long either so one way or another, I'll get myself a sprog (or two !) or be at peace with my fate, whatever that may be.

Anyway, enough about me. Are you getting enough support in the real world ? Have you told many people what you're doing ?
Xx

nokkie Yes, now I am respectfully married and legitimately having sex, I can be fairly open! Again, I have only told close friends and family, but that is my way. I thought that some would be cautious or sceptical about DE, but actually, even my catholic MIL is supportive and positive! I'm terrified though - not of the process, but the potential for failure and more grief. I suffered so badly last time it makes me very nervous. Still, I try to stay positive, and not make it the most important thing in the world (though deep down we all know it is, don't we?!)

Hi ladies...still taking it one step at a time here but had more fab news today...all 7eggs were mature (bodes well for any future cycles) and 4 fertilised overnight. 4 I tell you!! Which means they want us to go to blastocyst stage (although will monitor over next few days). So very much more than we had hoped for at this stage considering the AMH and damage. We are made up...I know we're not out of the woods yet by a long stretch but IMO you have to celebrate the little things as IVF can be a bit of a sod otherwise.

Survived DDs party today, got up at 6 to make gingerbread men and carrot cake, couldn't sleep anyway for wondering what had become of the magnificent seven (now the fantastic four of course). We are shattered but full of lovely energy after a madcap day!

Welcome motorcycle and cuckoo. My story is a little different to yours ...I am 31, have 1 ivf miracle already; first cycle resulted in twins but sadly I lost my other daughter at 22wks..Dd is 3 tomorrow! 1 failed cycle since plus another where I failed to down reg, now waiting for embryo transfer on Wednesday (fingers xd). So far I've never considered DE but the way I see it, some people are just parents waiting for children and there is more than one way to resolve that. I truly hope everything goes well for you both, welcome to the roller coaster! Everyone here has been very lovely to me and the support really helps.

Speak soon, Crisps x

Ps Noks I am there with you with the IVF weight gain. Bloody protein shakes and brazil nuts agogo, Ffs. Although it clearly doesnt help that I convinced myself that McDonalds milkshakes were a good source of protein, am a greedy fuckwit sometimes.

crisps well done on the awesome foursome

Cuckoo I think it is 53 % not really sure

Woo hoo crisps. Good luck to the fantastic 4!

woo hoo crisps, fab news!#

welcome to motor and cuckoo, I wish you both all the luck in the world.

norks - I feel :( when I read your post. I know what you mean. I hate being the only person in the world (it feels like) who can't get pregnant, my confidence has been knocked by trying the hardest I've ever tried for anything and failing every month (why can't I DO THIS?) and knowing that everyone's wondering why I'm not pregnant yet as I've been married two years. Like cuckoo says about killing herself, I really don't know how I've coped this long. Sometimes I feel like throwing myself off a cliff but then I'll definitely never be a mother.

Aw, motorcycle, miscarriage is an utter head-fuck and something I am not sure I could cope with again. But, of, course, we do cope - and these pages are testament to the bravery and resolve of women who, quite simply, want to be mothers. It's a horrid shame that there is such a high price to pay for this kind of determination when things don't work out. I hope and pray we get our babies in the end.

mama & buzzy, do you ever feel like you're using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut by opting for DE? I do but I don't care

crisps I have read all about your lovely daughters' conception and the tragic loss of one of them and I so hope your prayers are answered in the next twentyish days. Congrats on the four embies; absolutely smashing

buzzy, I bloody love these statistics. Basically there is more chance of this working than not..and that's good enough for me

Thanks for the kind welcome, twinkly.

Very exciting developments crisps - fingers crossed for next week. It must be hard to concentrate on anything else, but I guess having a young child to care for must mean you don't have too much time to contemplate!
Thanks for the kind welcome twinkle.
cuckoo in a word, no, I feel that going for the option which is most likely to succeed is best for me, rather than trying things that have less chance of being successful. I don't want to drag this all out for years, for the sake of my mental health and my relationship with my husband. It has already dominated for 2 years. If DE doesn't work, and I'm willing to give it 2 goes, then I'll get on with life without children. That's a scary prospect, but so is ruining my relationship and refusing to give up when I should. How about you?

Motorcycle, you say it so much more eloquently than me; that is exactly how I feel. The 'sledgehammer cracking a walnut' comment really described how I feel having not tried any other form of assisted conception; it all feels so sudden: we only decided on DE last week and I'm awaiting delivery of my drugs already! I salute those women who have had the cash the tenacity and courage to try attempt after attempt and test after test - I just couldn't do it and I, like you, will give up after this intervention. I feel happy knowing this nightmare won't go on for years.

crisps, how are the lovely embryos?

Well then cuckoo it had better bloody work then, hadn't it!! You are making faster progress than me. They need to scan my uterus again as the last ones were a bit unclear as to whether there might be a problem or not. How did you get on with the choosing characteristics of the donor? Which drugs are you taking? I've started taking aspirin, and will probably start taking the pill after nurse appt next week. I also take some pregnacare conception vitamins.
Off for a walk now with DH to make the most of the sunshine..

I think it's really helpful to set some sort of limit.

I needed to work through AC in baby steps. It meant a lot to me (although I can't explain why) to get there naturally, so I tried Letrozole, immune threapy + natural ttc and IUI before getting to IVF.

We originally said we would do 3 natural IVFs in 6 months and then take stock. Having got a BFP on our first go, I think we will find it really difficult to stop if the next two don't work. We are contemplating one mild round after the next two natural rounds, so maybe 4 goes and that is it.

Oh, motorcycle, I found The Choosing Of The Donor incredibly wrong. I worried about developing God delusions and stuff. Then I became anxious that I was replicating Hitler's utopia. The husband and I have brown eyes and brown hair; he is 6'5" and a beautiful stick and I'm 5'6" and the high end of normal BMI. In order to fend off 'ooh, your baby looks fuck-all like you two' comments I've opted for brown eyes. Is it wrong to not want a cerebrally-challenged fat fuck as a donor? I've asked for a uni graduate under 10st With regards to her interests and hobbies I couldn't answer; so much of that stuff is learned behaviour, I think.

What I have insisted on is that she is under 28 yrs of age and that she has proven fertility; either she has her own kiddies or her eggs have already produced live babies.

Mock cycle drugs: Cyclo-Progynova (HRT) and Cyclogest (progesterone capsules for gob or snatch). The clinic is insisting on a smear test before I fly over, despie my only having one Christmas 2011. When I called my GP surgery Pol Pot the manager hectored me about 'unnecessary' smears

What flavour of donor have you bought, motorcycle?

Mama (can I call you this or not?) I'm also rattling around on royal jelly, vit D, a multi-vit, folic acid, omega 3 fish oil and antidepressants

afternoon ladies

crisps any news :)

euro I like you needed to work through the whole process of AC, I'm glad I tried the other stuff before going for the big guns, for me it was worth trying, I don't want to look back with regret on any of this. Its a journey I have chosen to take so need to make the best of it.

I can't say I relate to the sledge hammer comment personally, I look at it as a option and good one. (I have grieved and made peace with myself that any child I have will not have my DNA and I am happy and comfortable with that decision).Its the option with the maximum chance of working so makes the most sense especially as I have to pay for it as I don't get anything from the joyous NHS postcode lottery can't even get an xray on my foot in my area despite paying 11% of my wage to them I also didn't mind 'choosing the donor' at the end of the day this is a business transaction for us, we are paying for services, she is not being exploited or doing me a favour and she clearly doesn't seem to mind selling her eggs and knowing that there are little mini donors all over the world.

cuckoo it sounds like you get to chose more about your donor, I think for us blood type obviously is important, eye colour, height and education. I don't really think it matters as you never know what part of their genes will be dominant, plus there is no guarantee you'll actually get what you ask for as it is all anonymous overseas. We found the education thing interesting as realistically that won't really have a bearing on anything, especially when I think of some of the uni qualified people I have worked with over the years

motor how much information do you get about your donor as it is different here in the UK?? I thought they could trace the donor here??

noks It is hard, I can relate to wanting people to get the pitch right, I was amazed at some of the things said to me when I miscarried. You need to take time to look after yourself

well the sun is shining and I should get off and do stuff, before my dr haze makes me forget again..............

buzzy, I forgot to add that we, too, have insisted on the same blood type, for obvious reasons. I hope you don't think I am denigrating those of you who have come to DE IVF after a long journey involving other interventions. If money was no issue I would, of course, have tried IVF with my own eggs first (who wouldn't?) but I certainly wouldn't have gone down the IUI route; it is famously pointless for the majority of women, I think. My worst fear in all this is that years would go by, tens of thousands of pounds would be spent and we still may not get our baby. I am comforted knowing that, with the money we have, we are opening ourselves up to the very best opportunity of having a baby.

buzzy, you are 'stabbing', am I right? Stabbing with what? Are you on your mock cycle?

No mock cycle at Reprofit,I started down regging with decappetyl 3mg to get my cycle into line with hers, it was just a one off jab with a mother of a needle it was an orange one, the nurse where I worked offered me a more suitable blue sized one but I decided to use what I was given, its two vials that you have to mix then jab with, I did it in my stomach but really it should be your arse or leg. I should have 'a bleed' soon then onto estrogen from the 22nd April, EC is on the 6th May.

Everyone is different cuckoo I only did one IUI with SO, I wasn't ready to go straight for IVF, I have had a few 'freak outs' about it but feel much calmer about it now, I really just want to get on with it now, I know at the end of this year I will either be pregnant or adopting, it is nice to know that there is an end of the line soonish. We don't have loads of money so this will be our one shot at it, hoping for twins obviously or some frosties to try again with time will tell for us all