Excellent (or should that be eggcellent?) egg buddies! Anyone having IVF/ICSI in April/May/June 2013 come and join us!

[EuroShaggleton]

We've almost filled the second thread so here is a new one, so we can carry on chatting! Threads #1 and #2 saw some stunning successes and some sad outcomes. We'll have more of the former and less of the latter on thread #3 please!

All comers welcome. I found it very useful to be with people going through the same thing when I did my first cycle, so if you would like to join us, please come on in!

hi thank you for your replies im doing egg share so my treatment is on the nhs i wasnt comfortable with the letter thing either but kept it brief,as this will be my first ivf im really worried they have put me on long protocol which i start early may,im just anxious really not looking forward to egg retrieval

Thanks, motor, let's just say they weren't impressed with my views on the rights of disabled people to access sex workers. I will never again debate anything to do with men, sex or disabled people with a feminist.

I was sorry to read about your husband's reticence with the IVF plans, motor. I do hope he comes around and realises that life - and how we experience it - has to change and evolve. Starting a family is scary for everyone but maybe even more so for those of us who have travelled a rocky road involving lots of money and heartache. How is he at the moment?

Crisps, when is your test date?

Buzzy, where are you drug-wise at the moment? Oestrogens? Don't you fly to Brno within the fortnight? Gosh, how exciting, but you must be so scared too, love - I know I will be. Am I a terrible person to be pleased you are our trailblazer? I am looking to your experience with lots of hope in my heart, Buzzy; if it works for you out in Brno it may just work for me..x

How is Scarlett doing? Any news from you? Hope you are okay.

euro, I see you are going again in May! I can feel you chomping at the bit and I am not surprised: last time was successful in lots and lots of ways...surely this is your time.

I had a truly lovely appointment with my GP last week whereby he offered to do almost everything required of the Brno clinic for free: blood tests for both me and my husband; a smear test and swab; all my drugs; and another sperm analysis. The only thing he can't sanction is the one or two ultrasound scans I'll need before we fly over. I am so grateful; he was genuinely interested in our plans and seemed almost excited for us. The nurse who did my smear yesterday could not have been more kind and encouraging; she is lighting a candle at church for us this weekend!

I have decided (husband has no say in this) to use half of his sperm and half from a donor and let the blastos speak for themselves as to which are transferred. He has made no effort to give up smoking and regularly forgets his vitamins and drinks gallons and gallons of caffeine a week during his sporting activities. His forthcoming SA may surprise us, but I doubt it. On the day of transfer I want the very best on and if that is not an embryo made from his sperm then so be it. He's happy with this he has to be

Sorry for the long post. I do hope everyone is well despite the terror unknown x

NaughtyNokkie, where are you up to at the moment, love? Are you cycling again soon?

Hello to the newbies! I'm new here, too. It's lovely to see others who are using a donor. It was such an alien concept to me to use another woman's eggs; it's amazing what age and desperation can do to change your ideologies and values

mejust, you poor thing. Try not to worry about retrieval, someone will come along I'm sure and tell you how significantly less painful and terrifying it was than they feared. Take courage, love, and think of the big picture.

tortie, I honestly don't know if we would tell our child they were from a donor. Is that disgusting? I'm sure you enlightened ladies will clear my thinking for me but I just can't bear the thought of some teenage brat screaming, "you're not even my fucking mother!!" during an argument
I think I would have no problem divulging the truth if both egg and sperm are donated. Does that make sense?

Who is the oligarch lady cycling at ARGC? I think that place should be renamed ARGH with those prices

bloody cat lost my post

jewcy MN is far from fluffy but I do like a bit of the AIBU thread so what did you say to the rad fems ?? Yes I fly out on the 4th May almost feeling excited almost, i'm glad your GP is being supportive, I don't mind being the guinea pig on the DE front :)

tame The cost of treatment is around £3834 + travel and accommodation so hopefully around £5000 but we are staying for a week and travelling round and making a holiday of it, I did look at clinics here but DE IVF is around £7000, I did look at NLC and Create for just IVF

euro how long are you away for??

chummy step away from google, can I ask how you know its high up?? could it have knocked when having the smear?? Sorry not very helpful

crisps I hope you are keeping yourself distracted :)

I will tell my kids that they were DE, I don't like the idea of not being totally truthful and I wouldn't want them to find out some other way, I hope my child will realise how much they were wanted that we went to such great lengths to have them, it won't make any difference to me because I will still be there mum, I will be the one carried them to term, I wish I could know a bit more about my donor as I'm sure my child will have questions about them, that is where I think the letter is quite nice, yes she sold her eggs but I like to think she cared enough to do it to help women like me fulfill my dream to become a mum. It can't be much fun to keep taking the stimming drugs and having to go through EC, well that is how I look at it

JEWCY,i dont think not telling the child they were from a donor is a bad thing i understand what your saying after all you will have carried the child for 9 months gave birth to them and raised them,im donating eggs but its an egg and if it helps another couple thats great but they will be the parents x

Jewcy tortie buzzy mejust I read Diane Ehrensaft's book Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates while considering DE IVF, and it really helped me think about all potential issues for all involved in a very positive way. It also covers the whether to/when/what/how to tell the child. Very good book IMHO.
Not long now buzzy - you must be excited!
I was told yesterday that it would take " up to 2 months to find a match" so it is all getting more real now. Just want to get on with it!!

buzzy, we're going for a week, too, and my husband has found out that Brno have a football team in what would be classed as their Premier League. They are playing at home the week we are there and he is insisting he is going

motor, I will get that book, thanks. I know what you mean about 'wanting to get on with it'. I think buzzy is so lucky and yet I'm terrified for her!

In other news, today I have fallen flat on my face for the second time in two days. In the middle of a busy shopping centre. Not one of the Big Issue sellers came to help me so they can fuck off from now on..

I would tell the child but wait until an age when they can be reasoned with and understand.

I'm so unhappy. Day 14 of downregging, feel so low and still no sign of my period.

Arse.

jewcy on FF they tell you about restaurants to eat at and things to do, we have been to Vienna, Prague and Bratislava before but we could go back, there are a few other places I'd like to go and see

motor the book sounds interesting thanks for the tip, 2 months is pretty good

buzzy, my husband is a train spotter (please, don't ask) and is very excited at the prospect of flying to Vienna and getting the train from there. I must say I quite fancy it myself.

tortie, you poor thing. Please remember that this, too, will pass. Downregging brings a lot of women ridiculously low from what I have read on these threads. You are not alone. Please look at the bigger picture and know you will not feel like this forever x

jewcy my husband is into trains and can tell the difference between them as well he was very excited about seeing so new kind of train thing when we went to Italy last year, I do like to travel by train

tame big hugs, down regging made me feel crap and low and extremely forgetful

buzzy, another anorak? Surely nay My husband's grandfather was the station master of a train station and actually lived in a house on the platform. DH loved him and has fond memories of being in his grandfather's arms and being permitted to wave the flag to see the trains off. He's been obsessed with trains ever since and has covered every corner of Europe on the things. The last time we went to see a steam train (his absolute favourite) I am convinced he got an erection

jewcy are we married to the same man my husbands uncle is a train driver, when the new javelin train came out here we happened to be at the station and the driver let him into the cab to have a look, steam trains are his favourite too,

Bloody hell, buzzy, I don't know whether to tell DH about your DH's love of trains; I can see a clinic switch on the horizon

jewcy just think how much fun we could have we left them two together

Buzzy, if this IVF doesn't work I'll be putting my head on the tracks

...oooh, yeah, whilst they were train-spotting we could go shopping for prams

I like your thinking

tortie downregging is a horrible process. You have my sympathies. I couldn't hack it and cancelled the cycle and went for natural instead. How much longer do you have to go?

buzz I got back this morning. It has been a looooooong week.

euro welcome back, the sun is shining which is always good

Hello ladies

We appear to be at some sort of rail anorak's convention...has anyone seen the hormonal ladies of a 'certain age' who would like a baybee or two in their tumtum ?

Anyway.

buzz countdown time, eh ? How are you getting on ? I think you said you go out on 4th May which sn't long now at all. I do hope there will be wifi where you are so you can keep us updated.

motor you've been quiet. Is everything ok ? Has it calmed down a bit for you both now ?

jewcy welcome back ! I am intrigued by your spat with millietant. I wouldn't let her stop you from posting your views though. Have you managed to stay upright over the last few days ?!!

tame down regging was a steaming pile of shit for me so I feel your pain. Has that bit finished for you now ? The next bit is better, I promise.

mejust crisps scarlett are you there ?

euro have you got the wine out yet ?!

I have had a crap week, to be honest. Feeling really low and not wanting to see anyone. I hope I turn a corner soon. I have my hysteroscopy on 7th so am really hoping they can find something and fix it. I think being in limbo has really frustrated me which is why this week has been so hard. Anyway, wine always helps so I have a large glass of Chablis (I know, I am so posh, wot wot) on the go. I may re-introduce myself to the gym tomorrow after a week off to shift some of the ivf blubber.....hmmmmm.

Anyway, I hope you're all having a nice evening.

Noks xx

Hi nokkie. Yes, it has all gone a bit quiet, hasn't it? I've got myself onto the waiting list for donor eggs, which they say will take "up to 2 months" to find a match. Can't do much until then. It's horrible at the moment to be honest. My lovely DH is freaking out at the idea of having kids, so I can't talk about it very much, which is really hard as it dominates my thoughts every day. I just want to get on with it!
Sorry you are feeling low. Chablis is a good remedy for that though. Tell me about the hysteroscopy.. What, why etc.

Nokkie, I can't believe you've had IVF without having a hysteroscopy/lap first - is this normal? I do think your low mood is because you're inbetween treatments. Tell us what your plans are...and chin up, love, you won't feel like this for much longer.

Can you tell me what's so terrible about downregging? Everyone says it's soul-destroying horse shit. Will I go through this, too, even though I'm having DE (in other words, will my drugs be the same as everyone else's? I'm starting Cyclo-Progynova at the start of May for 21 days).

Motor, I am at a loss as to how to advise you re your husband. Has he articulated his precise fears/doubts about having children? Are you only recently married? I really do feel for you..

Gosh, this shit is really hard..

Hello all! Sorry for being AWOL this week, it was partyly due to me having a mad mad week and also partly because I need to try not to think about the elephant in the room during the 2ww. The next bit will be a bit long and a bit me me me (apologies in advance) but have had a bloody awesome week so hoping to spread some positivity and good vibes.

Had huge horrific massive interviews Mon and Tues for an Assistant Head post...(am 31 and in the possession of ovaries even if they don't fucking work very well so this was a long shot...) anyhoo...I got the bloody job!! Which means a huge pay rise which will make a massive difference to us and our mountain of IVf debt. So that started my week off fabulously! Wednesday found out about the job and also one of my school teams won a regional competition...boring story for non-teachers but a huge deal for them so was v happy by this point.

Started out with a distinct lack of symptoms since ET...no implantation bleeding, no veins, no metallic taste etc. Felt absolutely nothing! Had a few AF type aches but that is normal for all cycles I think. A few scratching feelings inside I think but could have been making them up tbh.

.... But from Monday started feeling so sick that I actually was a few times each morning...and by Friday felt so rotten that I just took a test (OTD is Wednesday).....and guess what readers...

BFP!! BFeffingP!

Faint but definitely there. Took another this morning...stronger line this time. Against all odds, after four cycles, three operations, selling our campervan and putting up with years of everyone else's opinions I am actually up the bloody duff! So it's early days for us (think I must be about four weeks) and we still have a very long way to go and we don't plan on telling anyone except our parents, but for now we are ecstatic and grateful and trying to get our heads around the fact that for once something has actually worked. Can't bloody believe it...we had genuinely got to the point of thinking it would never ever ever happen. Thanks for all of your support, I really do think that staying positive throughout the whole thing has helped.

AMH of 4, failed cycles, stage four endo, scar tissue from a million ops and low confidence from the docs...ha! What do they know?

So how is everyone?
tortie any sign of the elusive AF?
noks stick with it....everyone is better when they have a plan and some action to aims towards. I really hope that happens for you.
buzzy have everything crossed, am excited for you(iykwim)
euro how's tricks?
< waves at motor jewcy scarlett>