The BESH Old Skool Gin Palais: if you're name's not down, you're not coming in

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Cream walls? Check
Pit of Doom? Check
Obscene amount of gin in well stocked bar? Check

The BESH Gin Palais is open to those who fit our demanding criteria. Seek out the BESHtionnaire and prove yourselves worthy - under 30s and instadiffers will be escorted from the premises

euro, diffage loss really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? I hope it was just a one off, and everything else will be normal droid.

I am very boring on the lover front. The most foreign I've tried is a Cornishman. He did have a massive cock though.

Ooh, tell me his name.

still dead horny

Argh. More grimness. In the last 3.5 hrs I have managed to fill the mooncup (13ml it tells me) and soak through a heavy pad. Eek. I feel slightly shakey now. Have just bought biscuits. Very chocolately ones. Chocolate has iron in, right?

Sorry, that's probably killed the horn, hasn't it?

Oh Euro :(

Should you see someone about it? Did they tell you this would be likely? Were you deluding anyway?

Ffs. Droiding not fucking deluding. Sorry.

I'll see if it carries on. Droid had arrived on time and days 2 & 3 are usually the heaviest for me (this is day 3), so hopefully it will start to ease off soon.

I'm definitely deluding, btw.

I just literally lolled at Donk's comment on that thread.

euro, is it worth giving someone a call? This is second droid since mc, isn't it? What was the first one like?

He doesn't live there any more, hester. As it happens, I'll be moving quite near where he is now over the summer!

This is first droid since mc - mc started on 12 March, so only a month ago. I feel like I have been bleeding 4eva.

hellurrrrr...

We've had a Norn Iron ESH before and I'm pleased to say I've shagged one. And a man from Dublin. And some Welsh, Scottish & English. Euro - I even lived with a Belge for a few years - oooh and had an affair with a hot young Parisian.

Er... I've shagged a man from Norn Iron and not a Norn Iron BESH. Fucking grammar.

Punctuation even.

Nice work, Donk.

When I went out to Brussels to work for the EU, I imagined trying to sample all the member states (calm down, there were only 12 at the time). I got as far as Italy and got a bit stuck!

A Belgian?

Just sayin'.

I WAS YOUNG! And bored with being groped by stag parties in O'Reillys and Celtica.

Thankfully I realised before too many years that he was in fact just another insane Belgian who dressed in what his mum bought him, was completely disfunctional and had a cellar more people-sized than wine-barrel sized.

I spent the night with a delightful Austrian once. It was a bit of a threesome - him, me and Jagermeister.

I only ever slept with one guy from Norn Iron, and he was a tosser that pressured me into it, so I hope he's not a representative sample. I think all my other luvvers were English.

Had a swede once. Very attentive. Spent most of the night texting his girlfriend.

My Norn Iron boy was horrible too Twinkly - really aggressive and I had a blinding flash of clarity last week when I realised he fulfilled each and every criteria for Domestic Violence Man [tm]. I was devastated when he ditched me - but then I moved on to Glaswegian man - well known for their sobriety and even temper.

aries You know where I went to uni, I once shagged what I thought was a local boy. Turns out I was that pissed he was actually a geordie. Isn't that called rape these days? When you have drunken sex? How do universities get by? Do they now hand out swab kits during freshers week along with your library card? FURTHERMORE - we are considering a return to your homeland for permanent - we need 'orses, golf, rugby and broadband, any recs?

PS I have been lurking and desperately wanting to see raspberry's ripped bod.

I have ordered my mooncup

I am half English, quarter Welsh and quarter Scots, though the ascots side has dim and distant Spanish blood (hence dark hair). I've had two Irish boyfriends in the past. The one from Tipperary was a twat and crap in the sack, but the one from Kildare, oh my!

Frank I'm loving the horsey autocorrect!

I'm plain vanilla English according to what I know of my background but my colouring suggests there must be something a bit more exotic in there. I'm quite hairy (or at least I was before I discovered laser hair removal) and my eyes are such dark brown they are almost black - v unusual with pale skin. I'd be intrigued to know where it is from. My mum is similar, as was her dad, so it must come from that line. We're apple-shaped as well, so I am thinking probably a bit of something sub-continental but as my grandad is dead, I will probably never know!

I missed the autocorrect

According to family legend, the Spanish blood in the Scots side of my family dates back to the Spanish Armada. I've yet to prove it, but when searching the family surname a lot of other people have the same story. My grandfather who was 100% Scottish had jet black hair, and an Argentinean I know refused to believe I was British based on my looks

frank Around 500 years or so ago there must've been an Arabic shipwreck or something because there's middle eastern blood in the highlands. An Argentinian should've known better - given welsh Patagonia!

I want a fucking moon cup now.

Hmmm, an English/Italian (my first and second time which considering I fancied the pants off him was such a disappointment. He was terrible in the sack), a proper cor blimey Essex boy who was a right screamer (I was really alarmed at one point because I thought he was going to have to have sort a fucking triple heart bypass afterwards), an English man (i wasted nine and a half years on that bellend), an Italian from Pompeii who had highlights, an earring called me 'baby flower' (holiday shag on the Amalfi Coast - I know, I cringe every time I think about it). Um, oh yeah CASAF. Um, oh yeah, a Norn Iron and a Zimmer but can't remember where they come in the order of things (which is the result of a memory destroyed by alcohol I suspect).

dolomites your comment on that other board was genius.

While we're here, I am half English and half Jamaican innit, which means however much weight I lose, I will always have a large arse. It doubles up as a small picnic table sometimes.

Apparently I am the same height, same waist and same arse size as JLo. She has bigger norks though