A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies
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Conception
ThatWayMadnessLies ·
20/03/2013 13:21
Oh glad you managed the meet up pout 
. I need to get myself some fab swish hair!
buzzy sorry for the announcement. maybe it is pre ivf nerves? I have had a cancellation this afternoon which gives me time to organise lots of stuff but not having the kids around to distract me means i keep stressing about ttc stuff instead. i would never leave work but really want to just go home and hide under my duvet for a little cry. it's all just getting to me this month. I hope we both perk up soon xx
CritterPants ·
20/03/2013 13:25
Hi everyone
Lovely evening with the gorgeous euro last night, who was wearing the most beautiful plum-coloured coat. She was amazingly awake given the horrible combination of jetlag and mc. It doesn't get much more exhausting and shit than that. euro you are wonderful company and sorry to keep you up so late!
Sorry to check in quickly and run, in advance.
free I am so sorry about the possible ectopic, how frightening for you. It's great that they are on the ball and looking after you now, but I can imagine how scary that would be. Poor you.
nelly wow that is a lot of traveling for you. I hope you're resting now and had a good night's sleep!
gin exciting about the dominant follie, hurrah! It's all consuming, this business, but it's brilliant that things are moving forward as they should. Try not to worry (impossible I know) and yah boo sucks to the doctor who stressed you out before.
madness what a nasty shock - but like the others I cannot believe that the downregging hasn't had an effect on what they'd see. And it's quality not quantity - as has been shown many times on this thread. You only need one sperm and one egg!
Welcome alice, hope your stay here is short!
lemon Oh poor you, I am so sorry that your period has arrived. The cycles where we hope are the hardest when it turns out not to be the one. It's just crap.
rabbit I hope you're doing lots of lovely crafty creativey things with your time away from ttc fretting!
buzz I can't believe how close it's getting! You're bound to be worrying more as it creeps up, but soon you'll be in the system and the time will fly past.
sweet did you have your doctor's appointment yet? Any clearer idea as to what is going on with your cycle? I hope you've had your mind set at rest a little. It's so stressful, all this not knowing!
sea hope you're ok in the land of no internet
mrsd thinking of you. You must be starting soon!
sar I hope you're ok my love. It's so inspiring that you've made all these appointments and steps to move forward. I firmly believe that you will get there and then all this will seem like a bad dream.
joy Scary about the bleeding. I really can't believe still what an awful time you've had, and how amazing you have been. I really hope this horrible experience can be over soon and you can stop suffering. Hope you and Roy are feeling not too awfully low. Thinking of you both. Like with sar, I really, really think you will get your baby, and be able to put this nightmare behind you.
Ok... I'm sure I have missed lots of people - sorry. Got to get my head down and bust out some more end of financial year stuff! Tail feathers and paw squeezes all round. 
CritterPants ·
20/03/2013 13:26
Gah pout, how could I forget you! Thinking of you and hoping this 2ww flies by and that your embie is all snuggled in for the longterm. Come on little poutlet!
Poutintrout ·
20/03/2013 13:59
madness I'm sorry you are so stressed. Please don't be put off by your first scan. So much will change from this point. It is all so overwhelming, I understand that completely. I found it easier to stop looking at the bigger picture and break it down into little stages and just focus on the immediate hurdle/task. It's amazing how quickly the process flies by that way. I too reckon that you will get more eggs than you think you will and of course it is the quality and ultimately what that little embie will do once transferred that matters. At the end of the day 20 fertilised eggs aren't what you want, you want a couple of good ones When I had my own meltdown about the number of eggs (really should take my own advice!) I read some research that said that the more follies your ovaries produce the poorer quality they are because there would have been reduced blood supply to the ovaries to support a large number. I am thinking of you and you know where I am if you need me!
buzzy We had the dilemma about how many to put back in. All the way along this process we said that we would opt for 2 to be transferred and were all set to do that on the day of ET. The clinic said that while the hospital advised only one embie to be transferred it was our choice. When we got to the clinic we were told that putting two back would only increase our chances by 13% and there was an increased chance of MC if 2 were put back in. Also we were swayed by having at that point a promising looking clutch of left over embies and felt that we would use this first cycle as a learning curve and then go for broke on the FET and probably put back 2 then. Of course as it turned out we only have one embie left to freeze and this decision feels less comfortable from my point of view now seeing as we are gambling totally on the one embie surviving the defrost. That said, if we had opted for 2 to be transferred then there would be no FET cycle. It's such a difficult decision and based totally on percentages. It almost feels like deciding which horse to put your money on.
euro and critter it's so nice that you had a good time.
I am sorry that you still have the gunk joy. Black gunk is very old blood I believe so hopefully it is starting to peter out.
sarlat how are you feeling? I am thinking of you
free what about you? How are things today? I have been thinking a lot about you too.
buzzybee123 ·
20/03/2013 20:45
pout I think if I only have one to freeze then I might opt to pop it in and be done with it, from what I can gather Reprofit only freeze high quality ones 
I can decide up to 10 minutes before ET according the women on FF.
madness I think you are right, I not really fussed that she is pregnant as we are not that close, I think it was more of the shock as in she never wanted kids, never had a stable relationship, now she has both. Part of me does feel its not fair. Come May we will both have BFP's :)
critter and euro yay top trans Atlantic meet ups :)
joy that is my kind of thinking to be honest, will have to see closer to the time.
sweet its all a bloody minefield isn't it, SA can change quite alot and in a matter of days. The good thing is that there is an explanation and a solution that can help you. Yay to good looking lady bits and ovulation
Oh dear I do feel rather tearful today, preggo news coupled with my favourite patient going home and one of my favourite colleagues retiring has made this a crap day topped by stroppy unrealistic patient.
Barry sent me a very thoughtful text which just reminds what an amazing person he is. Its so hard when I see him carrying the cat around, I keep thinking how great he will be with a baby 
I really need to pull myself together now
wishing lemon and rabbit safe trips on your holibobs
nelly hope you have managed to get some rest
ThatWayMadnessLies ·
20/03/2013 21:38
sweet that sounds like a bit of a mixed bag. How do you feel about it now? Getting an e plantation for the problems sounds positive for me and while morphology issues aren't great, I have heard lots of stories on here about men being able to turn things around in that department. How long do you have to wait for the next SA and a follow up?
euro being able to go out without any form of San pro has been one of the major benefits of my drugs. I am so pleased that you are starting to be able to put the physical symptoms of all of this behind you. You sound like you're coping brilliantly with the emotional side as well.
Do you have any more follow up appointments joy? If the bleeding doesn't stop soon would it be a good idea to check in with someone? Hopefully this will all fade away for you and it won't be necessary xx
critter so glad your meet up went well. I am imagining very trendy cool bar and incredibly glamorous ladies with your fab hair and euro's lovely coat .
buzzy sorry the rest of the day didn't make things better. I so hope that we both get good news soon.
Thank you all for your positive messages. I feel slightly ridiculous to be so worked up when there are such lovely ladies here who have been through such terrible things recently. Ever since the whole abscess incident (16 months ago for goodness sake) I have been panicky whenever I get any symptoms that resemble the ones I had then. The problem with that is that lots of the symptoms were so subtle that I wouldn't have thought twice about them normally. So now I have a sore back and slightly bloated tummy and I am imagining raging infections lying in wait to make me ill and totally screw up my ivf cycle....... Please don't everyone feel that they need to respond to this. I am just using this as a way to get the irrational fear out and hopefully break out of this cycle of anxiety. Roll on the holidays and some much needed relaxation.
joycep ·
21/03/2013 12:46
Euro ? i?ve checked my erpc sheet i was given and it says brown bleeding can last up to 2 weeks. I can?t wait for when this stops!
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Buzz ? i am so sorry about the pregnancy announcement. It?s such a blow when someone who never expressed interest in kids suddenly gets pregnant. i hope you feel better today.
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Mad ? sorry everything is getting to you. these things do come in waves and your hormones have been forced to do things they wouldn?t naturally do. Also, i think the run up to ivf is very stressful. So many ?what ifs? run through one?s head and there is so much hope and importance on this treatment that it can make us incredibly wobbly plus you have had all the crap of the last 18months. Not sure of my point but big hand hold.
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Critter/Euro ? love the fact that you have met across the pond.
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Pout ? i do find it fascinating how we can all be told such different things with stats and things in ivf. interesting you were told there is more chance of m/c with twins.
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Grouch ? i?m pleased things are moving forward for you.
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Rabbit ? i hope you have a fab holiday , enjoy!
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I think i?m going through a bit of an angry and life is crap stage at the moment. I?m feeling very wound up by our situation. I even saw red when some woman came on the bus at rush hour with her pram last night and i had to move. It just really bothered me! Of course i don?t show 
, i just think it. But i then wind myself up by thinking about friends who have conceived easily and are planning their kids parties and i know they are sitting at home with their babies not having to work. It irks me. tried to explain to Roy last night that there will be a day not very far off that all our friends will have babies and we won?t be part of their lives and won?t be part of that special club. I think i thoroughly depressed him, poor chap. I should be used to these emotions but  i hate what this has done to my personality. I never was this gloomy , angry type.  Snap out of it woman.
EuroShaggleton ·
21/03/2013 13:04
joy sorry you are feeling angry. I have my moments too. On the way to EC, when I was nervous, hungry and had a banging headache, I got barged out of the way by a preggo making a lunge for a seat. I'd put money on me feeling worse than her (she was only about 5 months and looked fine) but there are no signs up saying people should give up their seats for women feeling like absolute cr@p and having trouble standing on the way to EC... I am also a bit about how friends who were all over me and really excited during my brief pregnancy have been in touch far less since it all went wrong - when I need them more. I feel like now I have dropped out of their cosy little baby-owning club, they have lost interest. But mostly I am doing fine. My bleeding really seems to be easing off, so hopefully I am close to the end.
rabbit have a wonderful holiday.
Eek, just seen the time. Must run to a meeting.
mrsden ·
22/03/2013 11:37
Massive catch up post is due from me. I'm going to try to do it now I'm on my lunch but might get interrupted and it will end up as a short post so apologies in advance.
pout you have done so well. I am feeling very hopeful for you. From a totally selfish point of view I desperately want it to work for you because I need some news of a good outcome from ivf. No more negatives, or mcs please! When will your test date be?
free that sounds frightening for you. I have everything crossed that it's not an ectopic.
rabbits enjoy your holiday, I'm sure it will be fab. Holidays are the way forward I've decided. We've booked another one for the summer. It hasn't occurred to me at all that I might be pregnant by then. I am assuming I will still be very much unduffed and can take advantage of booze and yummy food.
critter swishy hair is such a mood booster. I'm sorry you're pil upset you, people can be so thoughtless.
euro you have reminded me that I should get my hair dyed before ivf. Not that it would last for 12 weeks though. I started going grey in my early twenties and recently it's getting tougher to cover it. I find it only really lasts a couple of weeks. At some point I might have to consider going lighter so it is less noticeable.
joy yuk to continuing gunk. It sounds like old blood, do keep an eye out for infection though which I'm sure you will.
euro and joy I feel on your behalf that friends/family are keeping their distance. I think people have no idea what to say. Especially if they've found conception easy. I do think it's the hard times that show you who your real friends are. It's the same when you suffer a bereavement, people you thought were great friends turn out not to be there when you need them. I agree joy that it is so maddening that people expect a fuss to be made with baby or pregnancy news. I've had a baby announcement this week and it has actually really upset me to see how interested and genuinely excited other people can be at this news. I just felt sad. When this couple announced their pregnancy, I thought that maybe I might be pregnant by the time it was born. Sadly not. I noticed so many welcome to the club comments on their FB page, that made me feel irrationally angry.
art I totally understand the anxiety. I think it's a sad byproduct of ivf. I remember reading somewhere that people who have had ivf are more likely to suffer from pnd. I think because of the increased anxiety and the unwillingness to admit they're finding it hard when they're thinking they should be grateful. I know that I will never be able to enjoy a carefree pregnancy. I'm of the mindset now where I expect there to be bad news.
Ivf is getting closer for me, hopefully we will be starting mid April. I have a fear that the scan will show another cyst. If positive thinking is linked to success then I am not going to do well. I feel pretty negative about it working. I think it's a self preservation mechanism, if I go into it thinking it's going to work then I will be so disappointed. Whereas if I assume it's not going to work ...
Ok, lunchtime over and need to get back to work. I hope everyone is doing ok, this thread needs a burst of positivity (and a shedload of BFPs)
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Poutintrout ·
22/03/2013 13:03
euro and joy I am so sad for you that you feel a bit let down by some people when you are needing them most. This is the time when you need to feel the love of people probably more so than during the early weeks of a pregnancy. I suppose joining the coat tails of someone's happiness is easy. Joining you on the petty front joy I have been really miffed that my sister hasn't once texted to see if I am okay since the EC. She knows that MrP is rubbish at emotions and knows that I would have appreciated it. Hey ho!
sarlat I am sorry that you have been hit with the prospect of the AMH test. It is nerve wracking and TBH having read what you ladies have posted on this thread about it I wonder how helpful it really is anyway. I am beginning to think that conceiving, unless there is some really obvious issue, is a matter of dumb luck. I'm sure that isn't the case! You responded well to IVF so I doubt there is any reason to suspect your AMH is very off whack but I will be keeping my FX for you anyway!
madness glad that you are feeling less stressed about everything. I think we all wobble from time to time
Enjoy your holidays lemons and rabbits
Any news free Hope you are okay.
mrsd I am sorry about the pregnancy announcement. Every new baby seems to remind me of how far away I am from the end goal. It is great that you are going to get started on your IVF cycle soon. It must feel great to have that waiting in the wings! My test date was put at Tuesday by the clinic and Thursday by the hospital. I still haven't decided what date to go by though to be honest I am thinking more and more that it is irrelevant anyway. The last few days have felt very familiar in the sense that I have got raging PMT and my boobs have deflated and are way less sore. I could go on but for me it all isn't stacking up well. I had a little cry last night to MrP about it all & feel surprised by how angry and hard done by I feel. Anyway.
MrP read something interesting about how sperm is apparently at it healthiest at this time of year So it's not all bad then!
I went grey in my twenties too and am finding it harder to cover my greys with dye. It only seems to look okay for a couple of weeks after dyeing it. I hadn't thought about going lighter.
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