The Elderberry & Sausage Pavlovas in 'Battle Royale 3: Shag Tiara Death Match' - the search for the immaculate conception!

[Bunnygirlie]

Entrant criteria: TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, OPK & EWCM obsession, NO instadiffers. (Thread 6)

The reason I upped the preseed was again I read somewhere about women having CM that was too acidic for sperm to survive, (and I rarely had EWCM anyway). So thought i'd go for an extra squirt (ew) in case that was the issue and it would balance things up

Oh... and you asked for it sidney so i'm blaming you for this one. I spent about 5 minutes after shagging (with pillow under bum) manually doing the cervical dip... ie clenching and unclenching pelvic floor to raise and drop your cervix. Thats the reason they say female orgasm helps conception and by this point the fun had gone out of having sex every day and so it wasn't really happening for me iyswim ]

at all berries now trying manual cervical dip whilst going about their daily business!

OK Prof Merkin can you please elaborate on the bum pillow thing? I've tried it before, but it always winds up feeling like I've simply elevated my entire body, rather than tipping my hips up at an angle to keep stuff in. What size pillow, & where exactly did you place it? (am aware this all sounds super stalkery and a wee bit intrusive but like I said - I've no shame left). I've sometimes just used a normal bed pillow, square under my hips, but all it did was made it feel like my entire lower portion was just slightly higher than my upper core, IYSWIM. Maybe a smaller cushion is in order, just under my bottom, aiming maybe to have my tailbone still in contact with the bed?

Yep have officially just mortified myself, whatever, I don't care, I cannot face another day like this past Monday

[furiously clenching away in hopes that there might be something up there that can be dipped in the right direction after last night's comfort sex, but finding it hard to concentrate on ordering Preseed and eyeing all the cushions in the house at the same time]

Normal bed pillow. I kind of folded it (almost in half) so the folded (thickest) end was under my bum and the thinner end (unfolded) was under my tailbone. Therefore bum was higher than my tailbone. It was very uncomfortable. (It took some faffing to get right as I had always had the same problem as you when i'd tried it in the past).

comfort sex? what is this thing you speak of??

any sex outside of that time is surely just showing off?!

I did stick my bum on the pillow with my legs in the air for about 30 seconds the other morning after DP had got up but he will think I have gone absolutely cuckoo if do it when he is there. My problem is that I can be prone to cystitis & medical advice for that is to go to the toilet straight after DTD which is totally contrary to all the TTC gravity stuff! On the plus side I do a lot of Pilates so my pelvic floor is tip top

would you perhaps be ok sometimes if you only peed pre sex to make sure your bladder is totally empty and then not afterwards? Maybe every other time or something?

It was needed. I was hideous to DH on Sunday & Monday, and last evening he got some devastating news, right when things were getting back on track. I'd have done anything to take his mind off it. Apparently worked bc about 2 min afterwards he was snoring away (can you hear the sound of me patting my own back over the clamor of the horn tooting?)

*Adding 'sign up for Pilates' to my Mandatory to-do list for next week

Back to the pillow thing, do you DTD with the pillow underneath you already, or do you put it there after? I usually forget, and then faff around with a pillow, but all the commotion winds up making stuff come out

I put the pillow there after.
Sorry to hear about your DH's news, and well done you for putting him to sleep in such an efficient manner!

Oh, Merkin!! You clever, clever girl!! You so deserve this, love, you really do. You're such a help to everyone on here and no-one is going to begrudge you this fantastic news. What did your husband say? I'm sorry I'm so late on here I've been at the gym all morning

Thanks connie. He doesn't know yet, he's at work so was going to tell him tonight so i can see his face. I feel a bit weird, freaked out, worried etc and also like an outsider (don't want to graduate and leave you all behind but feel like an interloper on here!). I honestly was certain this morning, I know you hate the symptom spotting but the weird feeling low across my tummy last night wouldn't go, I couldn't drink my beer and I felt the pains as soon as I woke up. FX it sticks. Now lets get all of you upduffed this cycle!

Could they be implantation pains or would that have happened already in order to get a BFP?

The point of the peeing after DTD is to flush out any bacteria that might have got transferred to the "wrong" place during the action. I don't always do it anyway as sometimes I just can't be arsed to get out of bed! Sounds like I'll just have to take my chances & switch to pelvic raises & pillow folding instead in the interest of getting upduffed.

connie i have no idea!!
frog pee on the pillow perhaps - kill 2 birds with one stone (pillow) (that was a joke btw)!

Frog, the champion sperm will get there without the need for raising hips..remember slags instadiffers get preggo shagging up against the wall of their local Spar.

PS if I do get upduffed I going to name the child Merkin in honour of the berry professor of temps & PIMPing although suspect DP may overrule me on that one

frog My hubby now grabs the pillow straight after DTD and shoves it under my hips! Even when its not ov week, its just easier to keep it the same! I lie down for about half hour and then go to loo. My friend who had her baby recently got cystitis twice whilst TTC from lying in bed all night full of man goo but it worked in the second months of trying!

It could be a middle name perhaps frog?? Oh god just realised we now have to agree on names, don't suppose MiniMerk will cut it with DH either! And evidently i can't do the litter tray what a fucking shame so that's now DH's job!!

Slags instadiffers do probably have teenage fuck buddies boyfriends though with virile sperm. DP is older than me & whilst i love him dearly if his sperm are anything like him they may need some encouragement to exert themselves!

Merkin have you had any spotting? Or a temp dip? Apparently the dip is a sign of implantation.

No spotting, tiny dip this morn but nowhere near coverline so no. But i;m assuming i'm going to get neither as speedy MiniMerk must be implanted by now otherwise I wouldn't be getting BFP's. The amount of months i dropped below coverline and got hopeful, this month I wasn't even sure i'd O'd initially as my temps were so rubbish!

Angela Merkel..the head of the European whatsit!

I'm off to the shop for a can of celebratory diet Red Bull. I may even buy two and shake & spray one of 'em in honour of our eight-monthadiffer