The Elderberry & Sausage Pavlovas in 'Battle Royale 3: Shag Tiara Death Match' - the search for the immaculate conception!

[Bunnygirlie]

Entrant criteria: TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, OPK & EWCM obsession, NO instadiffers. (Thread 6)

Ahem raining its actually the v naice Burger King. Perhaps we need a farmer with a harness and some paint to sort our OH's out!!! I'm sure a bit of competition (my wife has more paint dots than your wife) would get them going

Tell me more, Boo, I've switched over to the ape [gagging for details of the 'terrible thing' done to 'his friend'].

Oh - just saw Bunny's claim to fame! All hail Bunny! Founder of our great and most glorious nation of Elderberries!

I'm actually imagining how rapidly this orangutan could get me upduffed.

Hurrah for Buns!!

Jeez guys
How much to catch up on?!

I am pooped and a bit squiffy after catering for 13 this mothers day in a building site of a kitchen and then enduring awkward questions about our own lack of brood from the in laws. I MUST win something for diplomatic culinary achievement against adversity. Sadly and definitely not for our shagging as both too tired to speak now that the onslaught has retreated! Pip and Bunny I salute you, you've earned that bling!

I guess there's always tomorrow when OV may be another step closer too!

All this talk of how long we spend on here reminded me that OH asked me yesterday if I was having an affair as I was on my phone so much this wk. oops! If I do get a BFP next month he'll be wondering if its his! Elderberry paternity test anyone?

Merkin - ! That's how the rightful owner of the shag tiara could be decided. (And Raining - it doesn't count if ALL the ink spots are on your tits! !)

SPOILER ALERT!!! I'm about the ruin The Picture of Dorian Gray!

I'm not sure how far you got with the film, but as the plot progresses and Dorian stays young and beautiful, the effects of his debauched lifestyle manifest themselves in his portrait. He hides the portrait away and that upsets the artist, (Basil?). I forget the exact lead up but at some point, Basil wants to borrow the painting for an exhibition but Dorian refuses. The night before he leaves for Paris, he goes to see Dorian to confront him about the rumours of his lifestyle. Dorian shows him the picture and then murders him. He then blackmails someone into to destroying the body for him. It's very cold-blooded and grim but a fantastic read.

Dorian Gray over Christian Grey, any day!

oh my god, you've gone from 7 pages to 11 while I make a quilt for my boss's new baby!!!
I'll catch up later but I'll answer the questions first. HG stands for Hyperemesis Gravidarum. it's basically extreme morning sickness to the extent of being unable to eat or drink and needing hospitalisation for rehydration. It started at 5 weeks and carried on until the erpc each time (and the first time they didn't notice until I got to 12, despite them all stopping at 8/9).
The appt was initially just to talk to my gp about preemptive treatment for it, vitamins and anti sickness stuff, but then the nurse mentioned they could swab for cervical infection (was only in there for a vaccine to travel, and I was pretty pissed off they hadn't said anything before). I'm also going to ask for a diagnostic ultrasound to check everything in the right place.
I'll let you know what they say!

now to read the rest of the 400 messages you've all posted tonight!

Adding myself to the new list; Cats I'm wading in in alphabetical order but anyone with OCD tendencies pleas feel free to re-categorise due to symptoms to suit.

Boodle9, 30, Cycle 19 AF due any day now, waiting for FS appointment.
Happylass, 35, cycle 7 AF due 17th March
Barkingtreefrog, 33, ttc #1, cycle 15, waiting for fertility clinic appointment, AF/BFP due 18th March
Bunny 33, married, neither of us have children, cycle 10, AF due 27th March
Cherrycoconut 33 ttc#1 since August 2012. Post pill amenorrhea. OV & AF AWOL 7 months now
Tallyra, 33, TTC since 2009, 3mmc, all with HG. doctors appt 11th March to persuade them something might be wrong.
Sonics, 32, TTC since jan 2011. 1 mmc aug 2012. AF due 23rd march
Pipbin 37 TTC since May 2011, cycle 20, blocked tubes, waiting for IVF AF due 30th March
Itsalwaysraining, 41, TTC one year since MMC; waiting for IVF. AF due 1st April although Clomid could screw with ovulation date.
Frogcatcher, 36, stepmother to 1, TTC since Oct 2012, AF predicted 3rd April by FF but who knows...

Good night all. Good luck with interviews, doctor appointments and shagging

Tally sorry to hear of your rough journey so far, is HG what t'Duchess got? Good luck for your appt tom.

Have done the same as cherry

Boodle9, 30, Cycle 19 AF due any day now, waiting for FS appointment.
Happylass, 35, cycle 7 AF due 17th March
Barkingtreefrog, 33, ttc #1, cycle 15, waiting for fertility clinic appointment, AF/BFP due 18th March
Bunny 33, married, neither of us have children, cycle 10, AF due 27th March
Cherrycoconut 33 ttc#1 since August 2012. Post pill amenorrhea. OV & AF AWOL 7 months now
Tallyra, 33, TTC since 2009, 3mmc, all with HG. doctors appt 11th March to persuade them something might be wrong.
Sonics, 32, TTC since jan 2011. 1 mmc aug 2012. AF due 23rd march
Pipbin 37 TTC since May 2011, cycle 20, blocked tubes, waiting for IVF AF due 30th March
ILoveMyCats, 31, TTC since September 2012. Post pill amenorrhea. OV & AF AWOL 3 months now.
Itsalwaysraining, 41, TTC one year since MMC; waiting for IVF. AF due 1st April although Clomid could screw with ovulation date.
Frogcatcher, 36, stepmother to 1, TTC since Oct 2012, AF predicted 3rd April by FF but who knows...

Yep. She seems to be one of the lucky ones that get 'better' after 12-16 weeks. For some people it doesn't stop for the entire pregnancy. No idea if I'm one of them or not! Thanks cherry

Thanks for the synopsis, Boo, very kind.

Tally, now I remember about your HG; boy, you've had it rough

Good night, all.

Nanight, Mum xx

Merkin loving the idea of a shag dot competition. I never would of believed males would get ambivalent about getting a leg over yet here we find ourselves.

I didn't make up the name though, so I only get half the credit

Night y'all!

I think it's fair to say I've endured quite a lot. In particular become quite familiar with award full of very pregnant ladies with babies that have very loud heartbeats and bring coffee, burgers and stinky food into the ward... (not bitter at all).

And now the worst day of the year is yet again over and I shall retire to my comfy bed and try to persuade dh to come and snuggle. I think one dtd in a weekend is quite enough considering I'm not even O at the moment :p

Be kind to yourself Tally snuggling is gooood! Me feeling v decadent at the moment, eating crumpets in bed and winding down - breaking all my own rules about eating late, early nights, refined foods etc. oops!

I'm sure that we could get our DHs competing if we had a shag tally chart they could all see.
We weren't really telling anyone about us TTCing or having to go to the fertility clinic until he had results that were so high the doctor showed them to another doctor! Then he was telling just about anyone who would listen.
He now thinks that we have stopped trying. Little does he know.........

Lol Pip the male pride is a curious thing!
I'm not sure whether my DP wouldn't go all coy on me about a public chart - and masquerade it as outrage. I think I need something a little more devious to motivate my lazy lover. Not trying you say... glad that seems to be working for you. I've had to resort to the suspenders these last couple of times to get anywhere near a sniff of action. < desperate emoticon needed>

Raining- doc had told oh to give up drinking for 3 months to see if his morphology improves. If it doesn't then it's IVF. I've also had my tubes flushed last week.

My temp is up! Yey

Yet merkin! Mine was down but then that could have been something to do with it being before 6am, heating not yet on & the window open with snow on the ground!

Loving the idea of a shag dot competition tho concerned about effect on sperm quality if you subscribe to that theory! Not reassured by revelation at weekend that it took him & his ex 6m to conceive DS when she was 29 & I am 36! And now he's over 40 . Has anyone tried the consistent DTD method eg every 2-3 days throughout month?

Ps good luck with docs tally. Give them hell!