Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

Congratulations diege great news on the scan and I can't imagine how thrilling it was for you to see the strong little heartbeat ticking away.

Well the 5 day weather forecast for Bermuda....wait for it is....(drumroll) rain!! Un-be-lievable! Ok so it is 20c which is 20c higher than the variety of rain we have here in blighty at the moment! But you know what, I don't care, I am British and therefore am an expert in rain - have a lot of waterproof clothing to choose from . Going to hire a scooter and zip about on the back of the bike (going back to my yoof!). Going for 5 nights 4 days and staying with friends of DP's who are going to show us around and generally entertain us. We will be staying in their guest cottage (all sounds very swanky but probably a shed in the garden ) which will save us a few quid. So a wee bit of rain, will not be getting in our way (although it plays havoc with my hair - turns my curls into a huge ball of frizz ).

calibee what does provera do? Are you taking it with the clomid?

hopeful I have visions of you sitting on the other side of the world, clutching your pearls and wincing as we butcher the English language in our posts (see I am including all of you in this!). So please accept our apologies for crimes against grammar (and my spelling in particular!)

gum we're watching Walking Dead too at the moment. We always have a series on the go and we take it in turns to choose - we've agreed to watch whatever the other chooses (the idea being to choose something we can watch together) without eye-rolling or tutting Walking Dead - need I say? - was DP's latest choice; it's something I'd never have considered otherwise but I'm really enjoying it. It's mindless entertainment, and yet...what if...? So I completely understand it's what you want to watch when you're not feeling great - get well soon, anyway.

Diege great news about your scan.

greenlizard I know, isn't the timing just typical? I'm still going to go and see this doctor on Thursday though as there's clearly something going on. So far, to answer your question, it's been completely au naturel but I think that's going to have to change. I'll see what the dr says and take it from there. Have fun in Bermuda, you lucky thing!

cali I'm working on getting together all the documents I need so we can get married too. For DP it's easy enough as he's from here, but more complicated for me - some of the documents just aren't things we have in Britain. I had to go to the Consulate for some of them the other day, and there are others I'm still waiting for. Then I have to get them translated by a sworn translator...

Oh I ADORE Walking Dead...just love it! Said I had too many Y chromosomes, didn't I?!

And thanks green...I really hope so. We really went for it this month.

One thing I have noticed recently is that since I've been eating a LOT more healthily and taking loads of vitamins and minerals is I've been having much more cm, but also my boobs absolutely KILL me post ovulation. They're utter agony this month. It's not nice at all. However, I can only assume it means that there are more hormones etc etc rushing about in my body and can only hope that indeed it WILL result in me getting a BFP sometime soon. It's been so long that I really hope it happens soon because I'm really not getting any younger

Off for an early night cos we're both shattered cos stupidly we stayed up late watching a film last night - never a good idea on a 'school night' when DP has to be up at stupid o'clock....

Night all x

Deige

Congratulations on the great scan. I am so relieved for you!

Morning everyone.

I a very pleased to hear that I am not the only one watching "The Walking Dead". It requires a huge suspension of disbelief, but on the other hand it does look closely at what happens when strangers are thrown together under terrible circumstances, their relationships and how they behave. I am flabbergasted at Lori's behaviour as a mum. Young Carl is always wandering off into trouble, and yet it still happens over and over again. Clearly he has a death wish and she ought to have him tied to a tree most of the time. Anyway, I just finished the second series, so will have to get my DS2 to pass on the next installment. DH is cross with me that I have gone ahead of him .

Oh please don't think I am the correct grammar and spelling police. I am not, I am not perfect and I don't care if others make mistakes, just when I do because I should be better at it.

Well, I have woken up feeling quite alright. No more nausea, but who knows how I'll go when I have breakfast? I do,however, have a very stuffy nose. Again, not going to symptom spot...but that has been a symptom in past pregnancies. Bloody FF moved my O day to two days later when I put my nice high temperature into the data this morning. I think they are wrong, so I manually overrid ( I don't think "overrided" is a word?) it to day 12. So that puts me at 4 DPO. I know it is way too early for any symptoms, so I might be getting a headcold too.

Greenlizard I am sure you will have a lovely time even if it is raining. I hope it will make the tww pass very quickly.

DrWHoFan, I am pleased to hear that your healthy eating is making a big difference. I am a firm believer in the power of nutrition. My CM certainly seemed better since picking up the strict Paleo eating (loads of veggies, meat and healthy fats, nuts and a bit of fruit). I keep reading about how the paleo diet makes women very fertile, but I think they wouldn't have that selling point for women of my age. However I am hoping it will help maintain the fertility I might still have. I just need one good egg.

Morning

Another day, more rain and bad hair.....

I confess to not watching TV very much so I don't have a clue what you are talking about when you talk about programmes. We are still wading our way through Homeland series 2 which I recorded so must make more of effort. I confess to preferring to go to the cinema than watch movies at home. The kids watch stuff but I always seem to be rushing about and by the time I sit down in the evening there doesn't seem to be enough time to watch whole films/programmes - maybe I just love my sleep too much!

A CBFM question for those that use it. I switched on my monitor today and it hasn't asked for a stick - do I just turn it off until AF comes (if she comes obviously....) or do I need to turn it on every day so it ticks through the days?

diege great news re scan....

lizard no you dont need to turn it on every day....if you do it will just tell you your cycle day. Hope that helps. The provera is what will end a cycle...its progesterone which is taken for about a week and then af follows.

gum I have had to fiddle FF a few times too. It told me I had ovulated on cd12 this month as my temp took a small hike....despite no +opk or fertile cm. I just lowered my temps by .1...
Hmm now I may have to take a look at "the Walking Dead" is it on Sky??

morien good luck with the paperwork and translations. I left a message with the registrars office yesterday explaining we will probably need an appointment as DP is not British. Thing is he is only home for Friday in the daytime this week (it could be weeks until he is here on a weekday next) and Friday is a vile day for me to get out of work even if they cn offer an appontment. Something tells me this isn't going to be easy.

jbrd how are you feeling?

Hope your okay sparkly and remnant and *calendergal.

Morning all!

I'm good, thanks for asking Cali. Still poas almost daily, to reassure myself. I think I will do a CB Digi this weekend and then stop testing (if I can). Or maybe just test weekly...

Quite tired today, one of my cats started throwing up tonight at 4am .
Why is it that I wake up instantly when something like that happens, but DH sleeps blissfully? You could fire cannons next to his bed, grrrr. Of course, it's the same when DS cries at night.
However, as the cats are technically mine, I can't really kick him out of bed in the middle of the night to clean up.

Hope everyone is well, sorry for not namechecking!

Diege Fab news about your scan! What's your EDD? For some reason I thought you were much further along than me... But we're only 4 weeks apart. How are you feeling, any improvement with the ms?

I'm dreading ms on one hand, on the other I would almost welcome it as a sign that everything is OK... I know it's not a guarantee, but I had ms when I was pg with DS, then nothing at all after my BFP in November, so I now have it in my head that ms=healthy pregnancy. Which is stupid! Of course it'd be great not to have it. And let's be honest, I will be a nervous wreck in any case, until I have my first scan. Wondering if I should have an early scan this time, just for my piece of mind. not sure I can face waiting until May for the 12-week scan.

green Am very at your trip to the Carribean! Rain or not, it'll be lovely, warm, tropical... Enjoy it!

DrWho I'm with you on the healthy eating, it makes such a difference! I switched to low GI a few years ago, and it was amazing how it changed me. I still stay away from white bread and highly processed foods (although nothing can beat my love for pasta and cake), it's so good for your energy levels.

Morien Good luck with the wedding arrangements, same for Cali. I don't remember it being particularly difficult for me when we got married - I'm not British, but I don't think I had to produce anything other than my passport.
Getting recognised as being married by my country is a whole different matter, I still have not managed to put together the pile of paperwork they want to see from me, and we've been married for over 4 years

Getting slightly panicky about my interview on Friday. Preparations are going OK, I'm working on them every night at the moment, but I am nervous... Think I will cancel my plans to meet up with a friend tomorrow and try to get some more work done instead (in the hope that DS has a really long sleep).

hello everybody it's really hard to stay on track..
Diege really happy for your scan!
JBrd keep away from cats' poo during pregnancy!
I also wish to get on healthy eating but since being teenager I can't avoid some binge eating (especially chocolate yum yum !) It's much under control now and my BMI is still in the average range but I'm a little overweight as I eat cakes when I'm sad, when I'm worried as well as when I'm happy and with friends.. . I really would like to switch on a better lifestyle in order to improve my chanche to TTC or at least to get to a slimmer me.. but when AF come back it's really hard to be wise and good-willed! By the way JBrd, what does lower GI means?

I will go to the doctor on the 26 to ask for some analysis and see if everything is ok.. I'm so scared of time running away ..
I will get to my fertile days soon but DP has flue.. I'm sure he won't be so available to DTD.. even when he is healthy, he's tired because of heavy work.. Sometimes I just think it won't happen , que sera sera..

Jbrd...glad you're ok. I can definately see where you are coming from re the ms. I felt yuk for a couple of weeks post bfp but then it just stopped, which would tie in with the fetal measurements on my last scan. Good luck for the interview on friday. I didnt know you weren't British...where are you from originally? I spoke to the registrars office earlier and yes he just has to bring his passport...as do i and my decree absolut and change of name ( i went back to my maiden name after divorcing) so its actually me that has to provide more.
Mozzarella...i'm glad you have an appointment with the Dr. You sound a bit fed up so sending a smile and some cake lol. I binge eat too...it started in my teens .i just love food, i am better nowadays as i've always got my eye on the food bill.

Hello lovelies, I am lurking and sending you all good vibes. Still waiting for MRI appointment date and taken to MFP as a displacement activity x

Good to hear from you is. My fitness pal? Looks really good. Needless to say I keep putting it off. My body still not doing what it should so I am lurking till I can contribute more fully. Hi to all!

Morning Lovelies.

I woke up so early today...before 5 am. Which is fine except that I will be very tired later in the day and will probably fall asleep at acupuncture. Does progesterone cause wakefulness in the morning? I thought it made you sleepy? I am not taking progesterone(but I am using the cream), but I do find in the tww I tend to wake really early,or have early morning insomnia. Maybe it is just because all I can think about is getting a high temperature in the morning and hoping for a pregnancy. I have been doing this for so long,you'd think I'd be used to it by now? It still hasn't become easy, even after close to 4 years.

Anyway, as it was so bleeding early, my temperature was crap, not the amazing shooting-for-the-stars high I had hoped for However I did feel a bit sick last night when my DH was cooking curry, so I have my fingers crossed it is a good sign.(More fool me)

As you ladies are sorting out stuff for marriage I am putting together all the bits to get passports for my kids. What a palaver! I am worried I will forget some piece of paperwork. If I don't get it done soon, we won't be traveling anywhere.It can take months for the application to be approved.

My DS (he's 4) has been such a total delight lately. Since starting school (despite is rocky start) he has been a happy little fellow, has an amazing imagination and plays happily making all sorts of bits and pieces from the recycling boxes etc. I look at him and know that ttc is definitely the right thing to do. My DH was so reluctant to try for DS, but I see what he has brought into our lives and feel quite sure that pursuing this dream is worth all the heartache.So what if I am 48 or 49 when it finally happens (if not sooner)? And if it doesn't, I'll know I did everything I could.

So, don't be discouraged ladies - it's a tough road- but if we make it to our destination, it will be so worthwhile.

Big love and hugs all round!

Good morning from the hospital! This morning I had my appointment at the Medically Assisted Procreation Unit (or the 'Medically Assisted Recreation Unit' as I accidentally told my BF on the phone last night )

Was initially a bit WTF as it's in a special wing...together with the maternity unit Obviously it's the kind of place you want to be incognito, isn't it? So I walk into the waiting room - at 8.15 am it's v quiet, only 1 other woman...and it's someone from work!!! She must have recognised me but she pretended not to so I followed her lead. (The hospital isn't even in Brussels, where we work).

I had to wait for ages - apparently someone should have called me yesterday to say the doctor could only see me later as he had to perform some procedure on a patient. So I had lots of thinking time, time for the realisation of where I was & what I was doing to sink in, and I had a little sniffle to myself as I thought about how important it's become.

The doctor was great - nice & friendly but also no-nonsense and business-like. I was afraid I'd be told to wait & see, be patient, but he said, 'no point waiting, you're 40, let's get on with it', and said he wanted to start by doing a whole load of tests on both of us (blood for me, blood & sperm for DP). Mine include the day 3 tests - and that's today Thank goodness, as who knows when it'll come round again. So I went straight to the lab to get that done.

The combination of the delay getting in to see the doc plus having to go for the blood test meant that he had to give me a sick note for this morning (mine is not a job where I can catch up later - either I'm there when I'm meant to be, or I'm not) so now I'm waiting for DP to come & rescue me from the hospital (I was going to get the train to work from the station next door).

I feel hugely relieved that something's happening. Have a lovely day, everyone.

Morien, that all sounds really positive! I am excited for you. I hope you'll be pregnant asap. Fancy seeing a work colleague there? It's always a small world isn't it, especially when you don't particularly want it to be.

I have just come back from acupuncture and it was blissful. I think I may have even fallen asleep for a bit. It is so worth the $65 a session.

If anyone is considering acupuncture I wholeheartedly recommend it. I can't attest to it being great for fertility as I am clearly not with child (or perhaps I am ) and I've been having regular acupuncture sessions since before conceiving DS 5 years ago. So although I have fallen pregnant a few times since, acupuncture hasn't affected the quality of my eggs as far as I can tell, but you never know when it might happen. But I will say acupuncture has really helped me manage stress,particularly with the ttc and miscarriages. My TCM lady is so much more compassionate and caring and willing to take time with me than most of the doctors I have seen (although my GP is pretty amazing too).

I had better go find something to feed the family with (it is dinner time here).

Morien Glad that you had a positive experience at the hospital, and that your consultant is getting things moving! We certainly don't have the luxury of waiting to see what happens!

mozzarella Hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat - this ttc lark can really get you down, don't give up hope!

I've had a very pleasant surprise when I came home last night - th referral letter with the appointment for the consultant haematologist! And I've only been to the GP on Monday, she must have really pushed for this. And the appointment is really soon, the week after Easter! Some of you ladies might remember the nightmare I had last time, trying to get this organised, and the hours I spent on the phone without any success of getting through.
So I feel very relieved and take care of at the moment, one less thing to worry about!
Ticking boxes at the moment Gp- tick, put on list for booking appt - tick, getting consultant appt - tick, taking folic acid - tick, taking junior aspirin - tick, given up coffee - tick (but sob, will allow myself one cup/day again when I get to the 2nd trimester, I think!), being careful with food - tick.

And DH is now on cat litter box/puke cleaning duty

Calibee thanks for the cake..it's already gone!! And JBrd thanks for the encouragement! Yes TTC is definetly an headache.. I have so many worries, that it won't happen again, that if it ever happen the baby will have problems again (I wouldn't survive this..).. Moreover from september I have to start a new job, I will have two part-time jobs and I'm afraid life will get more difficult..
But to go and a have a talk with my gynae makes me think I'm doing something ..
Morien Good luck for yor next steps!!
Gum your energy is contagious, I have a friend who accidentally felt pregnant when she was 47 and has now a lovely 5 years old DD3.. it can happen isn't it?
Isabeller, I hope you will get the appointment soon..

Morien, excellent news that things are moving for you after your hospital appt, but how weird to find a colleague there.

Isabeller, how are you doing? I know it must be anxious wait for your appointment but I hope you're coping ok.

Diege, excellent news on the scan, I hope you're feeling reassured. How are you coping with sickness now?

JBrd, good luck with your interview, it'd be lovely to know how you get on. It's great the you've got your referral letter so quickly, especially after last time, hopefully things will get sorted quickly.

Mozarella, hang in there. A trip to the GP sounds like a good plan. Hopefully you'll get your BFP soon and have a healthy pregnancy, but of course you're worried about things going wrong again, who wouldn't be after what you went through?

Green, Bermuda sounds fab, rain or no rain. I hope you have a lovely time.

Calibee, sounds like you're having a tricky time at the moment with your DD being pregnant & deciding whether to move. It's a lot to deal with and I hope you're feeling ok, and that you can get your wedding sorted soon.

No change here, though DH has reassured me he isn't going to leave us, and is doing ok with DD. My mum came to stay at the weekend, she's delighted, though surprised, and my DB is being very supportive. I have to tell MIL in the next 2 days. She's coming tomorrow and we're off on hols on Saturday. I hope it's not too stressful having her on holiday with us for nearly two weeks, especially as things are at the moment. But she is paying so I suppose we have to take her . I doubt I'll even have chance to check MN (I've been reading just no time to post) while we're away, so I'll reappear when we're back. I should be packing not MNing!

Hi to gum, drwho, isadorable, irish, and anyone I've missed.

Hello! That does sound good news morien but what's the chance that your colleague was there?!! Do you think there's a teeny chance she might genuinely not have recognised you?
jbrd you sounds very organised. I like your ticks! You have inspired me to get booking some appointments, and have self-referred to mw finally (remember her? The one we used to wish I could lock in the cupboard?) I am also going to bite the bullet and book a scan at the fetal medical centre for 12 wks. I almost did last time, but think I'd rather be forewarned of any health issues early on. Also our Health Trust does nuchals now, but I've heard mixed reviews. I think if I'm going to go down that route I'd rather have someone who is very experienced - plus I can have the cvs same day if indicated. Oh and due date brought forward to October 24th No fit whatsoever with ff readings or indeed dtd days, but there you go..
isabeller hold on in there, you're doing brilliantly xx
sparkly glad things seem a little better. Not marvellous, but in comparison to what you've been living through this must seem rather nice! How are you feeling pregnancy-wise - how many wks are you now?
mozzarella phew sounds quite a lot on your plate, plus very busy work-wise coming up too. Hope you're ok x
gum ooh early waking....my very first symptom with all my pregnancies. Does mess with the temps though.Are you about 5dpo?
Right, better get going. This tends to be the best part of the day for me, and then goes downhill from around 4ish. Nothing stops the vomiting then, but I am grateful for some respite which has been rare in past pregnancies.

Thanks for sharing in my excitement, everyone. I feel so positive about it all again. Diege I do think it's possible my colleague might not have recognised me - I know I'm quite curious and am always aware of who and what is around me, neither good nor bad, just the way I am, and not everyone's like that. Bizarrely, I know her husband better, but I certainly don't plan to mention it to him!

jbrd great news about your appointment - and good work on the ticks! I love my coffee too - I don't drink huge amounts but I find it hard to go without, so I sympathize.

Diege think you're going to have to explain about the midwife and wanting to lock her in the cupboard...

I agree about acupuncture, gum - I haven't had it for ttc, but I went through a really bad bout of insomnia a couple of years ago (as in, I stopped sleeping, full stop) and I had it then. My acupuncturist is actually my wonderful Polish-German GP - that rare species of doctor who takes a holistic approach and combines the best of alternative and conventional medicine. For a couple of months the only night in the week that I would sleep (at all) was the night after acupuncture.

isabeller hope you're holding up. Thinking of you.

sparkly I still want to give your DH a good shake, but I guess it's progress that he says he's not going to leave, and I'm glad he's being good with your DD. Thinking of you, too...

Right, folks, have a lovely evening - I'm off to light the fire with the wood I just chopped, and then we'll snuggle up in front of a couple of episodes of you-know-what.

Before I go - there's more good news from today! DP and I went out for lunch with his dad - my self-same FIL whom I was talking about the other day, he who hadn't spoken to me for 6 months. This week he called DP and said he'd been thinking about it and life's too short to carry on like this; he and DP arranged to meet for lunch today (I should have been at work) but FIL said he'd like to see me soon. So when I was free today DP called FIL and asked if it was ok for me to go too. We had a lovely time. PHEW, what a relief

And even more good news (I promise not to post again this evening after this one) - was a bit worried about how DP would react to the news that he had to do blood tests, let alone sperm tests (given that our original deal was that if ttc didn't work au naturel, we'd forget it). He asked if I wanted him to do it and I said yes, and he said he'd do it - and asked for the papers so he could make an appointment.

You post away morien . That's lovely news about your FIL and so glad it worked out well. So Walking Dead for you tonight? Which series are you on? (if I've guessed correctly). I always over analyse everything so my take on the series is that we are meant ironically to see the living cast as the real walking dead by the end because of what they hold within them (now I know the ending of the whole thing so am not going to elaborate on it in case you don't know/want to know, suffice to say it all links back to the sciency lab dome thing they went into, with the sceintist left inside when it exploded...
Poor Morien, I bet you mean a few episodes of something completely different

Ooooh Deige, have you seen series three? That's where I am up to. Is the third series the last one? I don't think you keep this series going for much longer, it would just be more of the same. I am still waiting for DH to download series three. He's off on a golfing weekend today, but is on strict instructions to download The Walking Dead before he leaves, or else....

Morien, I am very happy to hear that things are going well with FIL and that your DH is happy to go with treatment. I am sure you will pregnant before the year is out.

It is good to hear from you Sparkly, and I am glad that your DH has at least said he won't leave. I hope telling MIL isn't too difficult and that the holiday is good.

Mozzamummy, I hope you are able to conceive quickly. It can't be easy after your loss. ((hugs))

Yes, deige,the early morning insomnia has also been a symptom for me in past pregnancies, but I just don't trust this old body and its myriad of symptoms anymore, because month after month I get them and still no BFP. I have a feeling there may be a problem with implantation, but there's nothing I can do. I know implantation won't occur if the embryo is faulty, so that is most likely what is happening, and I'd rather not implant than have to go through miscarriages month after month.

As it is, I have tingling breasts, my cervix has remained high and facing the back (which isn't its usual position), and last night I had familiar yucky taste in my mouth and nausea,as well as a pinching sensation in the right lower abdomen (implantation???). However, my temperature this morning was mediocre. That might be from waking so early and we are also experiencing a cold spell. I actually had a doona on the bed last night and haven't had one for months (just a very thin quilt). And I am wearing sheep skin boots (uggs) this morning. They haven't been dusted off since September last year .

Now I must go and make some breakfast because being hungry is making me feel nauseous.

COuld you all cross fingers for me that this month I get my keeper BFP? I am sure the communal finger crossing will make all the difference!

Firmly and resolutely crossed for you hopeful - in fact so hard my fingers have gone white!!

Off on my travels tomorrow. Wishing you all luck when I am away. FF decided to move my O date from day 12 to day 14 for no reason I can ascertain but as I thought this was when i had ovulated anyway it kind of makes sense! Sadly this means a whole extra 2 days in my 2ww

Xx