Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

Just had a quick read, have to go and unpack but wanted to say:

littlepink congratulations! That sounds very much like the kind of day we're planning too.

mumalah I was told only a few months ago that I should forget about conceiving naturally (he stopped just short of saying 'and of conceiving altogether') as my body was 'clearly' entering the menopause. I was gutted. But don't give up! Of course I'm all too aware that a BFP is just the first step and that all sorts of things could go wrong - but what menopause was he talking about???

I see green hasn't posted - green, if you're reading this, I hope you're ok. I've been thinking of you all week.

Oh, Morien, that is absolutely brilliant! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!

I wouldn't worry about the vitamins or the booze, it happens all the time You'd have to do some serious drinking over a long time to do any damage. Any idea how far along you are by now?

Morien this is fantastic news!! It seems the best method to get pregnant is just to think it won't happen and don't bother for some time..should I change strategy?
And if you jumped the earliest weeks of the pregnancy testing a little late you are just one step further in your journey!.. wishing you the best!

Morien ,what brilliant news,congratulations!!!!

Morien....most wonderful news!!! Congratulations!!! Xxx

Wow, Morien, that's fantastic news. Congratulations!

Congratulations!!!

morien thats fantastic news.

I seem to have missed so much on here over the past few weeks.

I will try and catch up over the next few days.

So thats it...honeymoon all over, up at silly o clock to take DH to station ready for his journey to NIreland, and now its back to work to face the wrath!!

I finally had a peak on the clearblue advanced monitor on Friday followed by a very strong positive on opk on Saturday. I was excited at being able to have DH around for the first time this year actually over ovulation....however my temp didnt rise this morning as expected. Could this have been because I took it 2 hours earlier than normal?? I will be having a couple of months break from the clomid now as I'm not sure when dh and I can see each other.

mozarella I think you're right. The harder we ttc, the less likely it seems to happen. If time wasn't such an issue I would be looking forward to having a couple of months off it.

hopeful when is your holiday? And where are you off to?? I think I may have missed that bit x

Wow morien! Fantastic news!! When I conceived Ds 2years ago, we went to Kenya for a week after ( only found ths out later) he had bern conceived. I drank like a fish,ate all sorts of stuff I shouldn't, but our boy was born perfect! I think it's maybe relaxing after Dtd that is the trick!

green been thinking about you too x

Wow Congratulations Morien, how exciting!
I'm not going to take any notice of these so called health professionals, I know my body better than them, and I refuse to believe I have reached the menopause. I did a test from the internet to test for fertility by testing pee, don't know how reliable it was but it came up negative which was a good result.
irish Thanks for that information, I will ask my dp for amh and if I cant I may look out for an internet blood test.
gum Maybe your holiday is just what you need, you never know, the same might happen to you, that happened to Morien ! Relaxation and distraction can work wonders it seems !
well cd35 for me , temperature plummeted so af due any moment. But on ward and upwards, I am even more determined to prove these doctors wrong! Day one of a healthier me starts today too, bring on the exercise and salads! Have a good day eveyone.

Whoops irish I mean gp not dp:

Many congratulations morien . That's lovely news, and don't worry, you will have built up a really good store of vits from what you've taken in the past
littlepink lovely news too xx
gum sorry you're feeling down. Your positivity usually shins through your posts, but I can totally understand how you are feeling. I don't think the mess up with the dr. can have helped either - you really need a health professional who inspires confidence, although she does seem so lovely. How long until you go away now?
tina I think I missed your exciting news! many congrats, and I adore the names!
My mum thinks our choice of 'Laurie' is 'horrid' but we are pretty happy with it. 22 weeks tomorrow and feeling ok but very tired and heavy-of-limb. Ds1 was 4 last week and feeling very grown up, with big school pending in September. He has also asked me to marry him
Have been reading through and sympathising with all the negative news some of us have been getting. mumalah in particular, what a horrible way to impart such bad news . It is true that many on ere have received similar prognosis' yet have conceived, though I can see how confused you must be feeing, esp as the clomid may well have played a role. Will you get retested?

Diege good to hear from you. How cute is your little boy proposing to you, that's really sweet!
I think Laurie is a lovely name and it's what you and DH want that matters. We had narrowed it down to two possible boy names for our DS(who's now 20!) but when he was born he didn't look like either name so we called him something completely different that wasn't even on the original short list!
mumalah sorry you feel AF is imminent but you're right,it's a brand new cycle to aim for and I like your healthy living plan! When do you see your GP?

Hi irish Thanks for the name-support You're right, as long as we like the name that is indeed all that matters. Btw I meant to say how sorry I was to hear your sad news about your recent miscarriage. You have been through such a lot and you gave me really great support after my most recent mc some time ago on the mc threads. How is dh feeling about it all now?

Hello!

Af came today as predicted (Big sigh) But like I said before onward and upward !
Day 1 of healthy living hasn't quite gone to plan. My friend asked me to meet her it was urgent, we had a power walk planned. She doesn't drive so I took her shopping, and on way round she told me her 19 year old daughter had announced she was 10 weeks pregnant that morn. This was a total bolt out the blue. Her daughter is at uni and her boyfriend on the dole. Not really what she had planned! She told her daughter she needed time to think and called me. We didn't go for our power walk, we went to our local carvery instead. But we did have a good chat and hopefully she was able to go and discuss everything with her daughter in a calmer fashion. Af arrived when I got home, so I opened a bottle of wine. Oh well maybe day 2 might have better prospects!
irish Im going to see my gp next friday. I will keep you posted to what happens .

mumalah, sorry about AFbut you do sound upbeat and the healthy living plan can wait a day

It is so nice of hear from you Deige. Ignore anyone who has anything negative to say about your baby's name. My FIL refused to called our DS by his name because he thought it was so "weird". He said, "I will only call him by his second name (Alexander)". it was a load of bullshit, he just wanted to show his disapproval.He's always called him "Guthrie". We loved his name and still do.The best thing is that we've not come across another boy called Guthrie and he is always remembered by his name. My father was equally as rude. He is Italian and a builder so he knick-named him "guttering". Not impressed. However he never calls him that.

My temperature did a nose-dive and my breasts haven't been tender for a couple of days. So I will be greeting AF any time soon. However, I did take the Provera for 4 days, so it may delay it?

I still haven't heard from my doctor with the progesterone result. I had the test done last Wednesday, was told the results would be ready on Thursday. I've emailed her, rang the surgery, and still haven't heard...

I think I am starting to give up ttc. My Fertility Friend VIP membership will expire in 12 days and I have decided not to renew it. I am not going to chart anymore. I'm selling all my opk's on ebay along with a brand new box of sperm friendly lubricant. I think I've reached the end of my tether. The holiday has come at the right time. I need a break from it,and a chance to really think about what I want.

I have decided to get back into exercise a bit more. I am already swimming twice a week, but now I am adding a yoga class twice a week. Last night I went to the class and during the meditation the teacher was talking about "letting go of what you don't need", and I wondered if that is what I should do, let go of ttc.

I would love a "surprise" pregnancy. I would dearly love my last little baby to complete my family, but it seems that after four years of doing all the right things, it hasn't eventuated and it is making me sad.

Anyway, I shall go on my holiday in about 19 days (we are going to Bali and Lombok, Calibee), will have a lovely time and won't have to have the extra worry of being pregnant. When I come back I'll reassess, but I do think I shall stop all the "trying".

mumalah sorry you got bitten by af. I totally sympathise with your friend, I remember my absolute shock when my daughter told me she was pregnant nearly four years ago...making me a Grandparent in my 30's. I was horrified. I think food and wine was in order

hopeful maybe your holiday is exactly what you need to break the pattern. I know the charting, temping etc can become an obsession. I plan to downgrade on it all too. Dh called last night to say they are being sent to Canada for 2 months next Monday.....I'm gutted. Married just 2 weeks and seperated for 2 months. At least he could have got home from NIreland . It's thrown me into a complete wobble to be honest and I confess to having chilly feet about the whole thing (moving). My first thought was not gow I will miss him, but how it potentially means three months off ttc....time to give myself a shake I think!!!

Just dropping in to send love to all. I have been completely thrown by a degree of fatigue and nausea which has made it impossible to function most of the time ie can't even read, MN or do basic stuff. Just getting through each day has been a real challenge. I know this is likely to be a good sign but I'm still, of course, nervous that the first scan next Wednesday will not find a viable pregnancy for some reason.

I'm clinging to the hope that I will start to feel better eventually. I need a burst of energy and confidence to get my home back to properly habitable after the extended winter building works debacle which has left me with 101 DIY jobs not to mention some seriously overdue decluttering. Just writing this down has made me feel more positive

After all DP and I have gone through to get here I know I am not really allowed to complain or worry that I will be a rubbish parent/bankrupt/a pariah for reasons of ancientness. Knowing this thread is here helps.

I really am grateful I feel a bit more human today and completely amazed that our treatment worked (for anyone interested I think the endometrial scratch probably had an impact). xx Is

Hi Ladies

Good news on your tiredness and nausea isabeller all very, very good signs and though they make you feel rubbish ? may they continue in abundance . Everything crossed for your scan ? did you have one or two embies transferred?

Congratulations Tina on your little ones ? what a celebration having two lovely babies Hope you are not too tired (but I am sure you are loving it even if you are!)

Congratulations Morien I am super thrilled for you and even better no agonising 2WW to get through, just breezed in and POAS! Wishing you a dull, dreary, straightforward pregnancy

Congratulations too to diege, notsoold and sparkly on your scans ? I hope you both feel like you can relax a little and enjoy the rest of our pregnancies.

Congratulations littlepink that is such lovely news and so romantic - I love a good engagement me

It has been a week since my ERPC and I have to say that it has been the worst week of my life. I am trying to count my blessings ? my DP has been and is totally amazing (as have my friends and family) in supporting me even when it has been so difficult for him. The staff at the EPU and the hospital doing the procedure were just brilliant and I don?t think I could have got better care. I think I went a bit nuts to be honest; I just couldn't stop sobbing and was beside myself when I went in for a final scan as a check before surgery (I was still praying for a miracle at this point) and had to be sedated. A week on and I am feeling calmer but prone to sudden outbreaks of inconsolable weeping. I went back to work yesterday because it was not good for me to be on my own and I needed to be distracted. I was feeling really anxious and I do feel better for going back (even if I have cried three times in the toilet ? not very professional!) I am fighting a rising tide of panic that this was my one and only chance to be a mum . We want to try again as soon as possible.

I know many of you have experienced miscarriages so may I ask a few questions? : a) if you had a ERPC how long did you bleed for afterwards? B) When did your temperature go back down to ?normal? ? mine is still high a week later c) how long did it take you to get a ?ve HPT d) how long did it take for you to get your AF/cycle return to normal?

Appreciate any other advice you might have for me in moving on and passed this?

Sorry for bringing the thread tone down

Congratulations Morien - that is fantastic news!

I have been thinking of you green lizard. So sorry you are going through this.

I had a MMC back in 2010 & it really knocked me for six emotionally so I really feel for you. I was not charting etc at the time so cannot help with temp questions but I did have an ERPC & had light bleeding for about a week max afterwards. My AF went back to normal time wise straight away but my periods were heavier than normal for a few months. I found myself very much all over the place emotionally after. We were not in a place to try again right away though so this didn't help.

We are all here for you if you want to talk. I found it helpful talking to others who understood what I was going through.

Gosh, there are news from every end of the spectrum here at the moment! Really hope that everyone can cope with whatever life is throwing at them.

green My heart goes out to you, what an ordeal you have been through! Nothing I can say will be able to lift that cloud right now, I'm afraid - but it will get better, I promise you. Right now, all you can do is take one day at a time, grind your teeth and keep your head down. I was surprised at just how low I felt after my first mc, I had never experienced anything like that. Be kind to yourself and don't push it - time is your friend here, so take it easy. I tried to focus on things that I enjoy, wherever possible, and treated myself to manicures/pedicures, whatever helps. And for what it's worth, the whole thing really helped me to decide to start looking for another job. Being so miserable and having to go back to a job I hated, I couldn't take that anymore.

For your 'technical' questions, here's what I've experienced after my ERPC: I bled very little directly after the surgery, only for it to pick up again about a week afterwards. All in all it took about a week to stop completely, I think. I did not temp at all after the ERPC, but I used OPKs to check for ovulation. However, I didn't detect any in the time until I had my first AF! No idea why, but they don't call that time the 'WTF cycle' for nothing... I got a BFN 11 days after the ERPC, and AF returned 5 weeks after the surgery. I hope that helps - but remember, it's most likely going to be completely different for you! It was very different after my second mc in April, but everything happened naturally with that one, so I don't think you can compare them.

Diege Never ever tell anyone your name choices, least of all any family! Give them the name when the baby is born, then all they can do is smile and say 'How lovely'

Cali You're certainly getting all the downsides of being an army wife at once, you poor thing! What rotten luck that your DH is being sent away for so long and so far! Do you think you might postpone the move?

Mumalah Sorry about af - but don't worry about your healthy living plan, you were being a good friend, which is so much more important! Hope that your visit to your GP will give you some new perspectives.

gum It looks as if you are ready to have a break! Try not to worry about it too much, the important thing is that you find some peace with yourself. It might mean that you have to grief a little to let go of your dream.. But hopefully, you will be happy with whatever you decide to do!

Irish How are you feeling now?

I'm a bit glum, if I'm honest - a good friend of mine, who had her DD2 back in April, has been in and out of hospital in the last few days because the baby started having seizures. After a lot of tests, they have now been told that the baby has severe brain damage, which will almost certainly result in developmental defects/disability. I am so gutted for them and feel totally helpless. What on earth do you do in a situation like that! They are putting on a really brave face, but I'm sure they are going through hell at the moment. You never expect anything like that - life is so hard sometimes.

Green, I'm so sorry you're having such a miserable time, but it's good that you have excellent real life support by the sounds of it. I'm afraid I can't really help with your m/c questions as I didn't have an ERPC with mine as I was told I wasn't necessary (should have though as it took weeks and weeks to resolve), and have never done temping. You will get through this, and we're here for you.

Littlepink, congratulations on your engagement, that's lovely news.

And morien, wow what an amazing surprise! Congratulations on your BFP, I hope you have a sticky bean there. I'm sure not taking your vitamins for a week won't make any difference as you've been taking them for such a long time, and I don't think the drinking's anything to worry about either. I hope you can find out how many weeks you are soon.

Hopeful, I'm sorry you're still sounding down, the holiday sounds like exactly what you need and hopefully you'll come back feeling better about ttc or not ttc or whatever you decide you need to do.

Calibee, your DH having less than a week's notice that they're off to Canada for 2 months?! Is that how the army usually works? I hope it flies by, but being separated like that so soon after your wedding will be tough.

Isabeller, I'm sorry you're feeling so rough, but hopefully it's a really good sign, and you will feel better eventually.

Diege, your child, your choice of name whatever your parents or anyone else thinks. My mum was quite sniffy when finally settle on a name for DD (3 days before the 6 week deadline), but everyone's used to it now - it's quite unusual, but then so's mine so I didn't think she had a leg to stand on!

Mumalah, sorry AF got you but you sound positive about your next cycle - good luck.

Irish, lovely to hear from you, how are you doing?

I'm fine, still feeling ok, still not getting enough sleep not helped by early starts at work the last 2 days (getting up at 5.30) and a late finish tonight - home at midnight. Only another month to go as far as I'm concerned, though I'm not at all convinced the admin's been processed properly. But I'm not working til 2 weeks before my due date! I'm 30 weeks today, and my ankles are starting to puff up, but otherwise no problems so far.

Hi to everyone I haven't mentioned.

Hello Green. Big ((hugs)). I totally understand how you feel. The grief I felt after my first and second miscarriages was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It will be difficult and raw for a while yet, but it will ease, I promise you that.

As for the physical side of it. I didn't have much bleeding at all after the ERPC. It was light and over with within a week. For me, AF didn't return for about 33 days.The second time took much longer: 55 days. I can't remember how long it took for a negative test. And after my second one it took a long time for my cycles to normalise.But after the first one it didn't take long to ovulate again.

Taking time on my own, so I could cry freely, helped as did writing some poetry, expressing my feelings and keeping a journal. I also felt terrible anxiety about not getting pregnant again, but there's no reason why you shouldn't get pregnant again Green. I know that they way you feel right now, a pregnancy couldn't happen fast enough.

Jbrd, what terrible news for your friends. How heart-breaking.

Calibee, I can't believe they are sending DH off. God, how annoying for you.

Sorry not to do personals for everyone, I am in a bit of a hurry. I have some work to do.

Just wanted to report I got my progesterone result. It was 33. My doctor emailed it to me with no explanation FFS! So I emailed back and said,'I am guessing this is normal", she emailed back"yes,pretty good".I had a look at my last progesterone test results and anything over 11 shows ovulation. I guess I had no doubts about that as I have a temp rise every month. When I had it tested last time, which may have been over a year ago it was 35. So I suppose it isn't too bad. It is reassuring. I don't think I need a progesterone supplement, and I won't be going to see a specialist.

I actually feel relief that I am not ttc this month. Who knows how long until panic sets in!

Hello Green, glad to see you back. It's crap, isn't it? People tell you it's hard but I don't think you realise just how hard until you go through it yourself. I felt completely out of control for a couple of weeks, starting about a week after my MC; it helped me to remember what my gynae had said - that after a MC there's a sudden drop in hormones as with a birth, and that it can cause something similar to PND. She told me that there was no point trying to be brave and trying to pull myself together, as for as long as I was in that PND-like state it was out of my control. And then sure enough it wore off; there were still sad times, of course, but easier to manage.

sparkly I can't believe you're 30 weeks already! It seems to have flown by (not for you, perhaps). Glad you're feeling ok.

hopeful your doctor!! Anyway, feeling relief that you're not TTC-ing this month is probably not a bad thing - you can just look forward to your fabulous holiday. Not long now!

CaliBee poor you. I'd really struggle with the idea that my husband's employer has such a huge impact on my home life.

Diege not that it matters in the slightest, but I do like Laurie. (And Guthrie is lovely, gum). Don't really get how other people (even parents) think it's their place to criticise

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone - hello to everyone else!

As for me, like you, isabeller, I'm worried about getting to the scan and there being nothing there. I've done several tests and they keep being positive but I'm so afraid something will go wrong. (I almost envy you your sickness, isabeller, as apart from horribly sore breasts (which i keep poking to check they're still sore), I'm pretty much symptom-free. My mum & sister never had pronounced symptoms so maybe it runs in the family, but it does make me wonder if it's all in my imagination). Here you don't see the GP when pg; you go straight to your gynae, and I have an appointment on Friday (was offered one today but DP couldn't make it and I want him there). I've gone back over the thread and discovered that AF last came on 21st April, which puts me at 8.3 - but goodness knows when I ovulated, quite late, I suspect (although I actually thought I hadn't O'd at all this cycle!)

A strange thing happened last week on holiday, so before my BFP. I woke up one morning with a boy's name in my head (not one we'd considered before), and I knew it was my son's name. I haven't told DP.

Morien, I have never had much more symptoms than tiredness, so not to worry! Testing is of course useless by now, so save that money! Sure everything will be fine!

Hopeful, progesterone at 33 is magnificent! Mine has ever only been 7-10 at day 21, and I ovulate even with that, so I personally believe its anyway overrated what information you can get from this measurement. When pregnant, my levels shoot to 100, and in one cycle I had it measured at day 21, was a pitiful 8, and then day 25, hpt positive and progesterone measured at 78.

Green, so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I remember my second mc, which took weeks to clear out, resulted in total PND. Took me about half a year to even start to feel better. Your questions - I have had one chirurgical clean-out, stopped bleeding within a week, ovulated in 2 weeks, period came a month later and was normal, not heavier or anything. Hope you recover fast and can get back to trying rather soon, it helps to recover mentally to be back to having hope.......

I am taking a cycle off, no OPKs so far, am on day 10 of the cycle. Have been travelling for work, only back home tonight, so might have even missed the OV already, if it was agan early.