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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

974 replies

hopefulgum · 05/03/2013 09:51

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! Smile

OP posts:
jass43 · 25/05/2013 19:14

isabeller, great news. An early bfp is a strong bfp, congratulations!!!

And do not read on bad stuff - this thread was so ready for some tide turning and you did it. It has to stay this way for you! It will!

Morien · 25/05/2013 19:55

Wonderful news, isabeller, I'm so pleased for you.

Isabeller · 25/05/2013 20:18

Thank you FlowersFlowersFlowers I am a bit teary now xxx

greenlizard · 25/05/2013 20:57

Isabeller yaaaayyyyyy!! This is fabulous, brilliant, awesome news!!

GrinGrinGrin

greenlizard · 25/05/2013 20:58

Ps. Can't believe I just used the word awesome - I blame my step kids!

isadorable · 25/05/2013 22:08

Lovely news isabeller - congratulations my dear.

hopefulgum · 25/05/2013 22:58

Congratulations, Isabeller, what wonderful news. I am so pleased for you. Grin

OP posts:
notsoold · 25/05/2013 23:49

Isabeller...wonderful news!!!! It made my day!!! Xxxx

Irishmammybread · 25/05/2013 23:57

Congratulations Isabeller ,that's lovely news!

jass43 · 26/05/2013 10:52

After two days of blackish gunk I got a normal period like flow. Oh joy of the little things in life ......

CaliBee · 26/05/2013 12:36

Fantastic news is so pleased for you.
Bfn for me yest at 11dpo so thats me out for sure :(
Its so deflating to see that arctic whiteness.

NotCarrieBradshaw · 26/05/2013 19:33

Hello ladies.
Hope you all having a lovely weekend.

Congratulations Isabeller!

Calibee I'm sorry about your bfn, but try and stay positive.

My AF is due next Sunday so I have a week to go. (of course I have every symptom possible so I must be pregnant Grin).
I have no idea when a test is a good idea and at what point during this next week I give up hope.

X

mozzarellamummy · 26/05/2013 20:16

Isabeller, it's still early days but it's great news and I have everything crossed for you!!!!!!

hopefulgum · 26/05/2013 23:44

Calibee, sorry about the bfn. They are so disheartening, aren't they? How are the wedding plans going? Isn't it next weekend??? How exciting. Will you be having a honeymoon?

Jass, glad things are normalish for you...The things our bodies go through, 'eh?

I have woken this morning with a sore gum, and after a bit of poking around I realise I have a tender lump on my gum above a dodgey tooth Shock I think it may be an absess.I only hope I can see the dentist asap. I hate having problems with my teeth, and hate seeing a dentist even more, though he is a lovely dentist...Just would rather not have to do any of it. So I guess it is lucky that I am not pregnant, as I wouldn't want any of the drugs etc in my first trimester (though they are probably harmless).

Other than that, it is my day off (Monday here), and my house resembles a one of those "hoarder" houses on the tellyGrin, so it looks like I'll be doing some tidying up.

Have a nice day/night.

OP posts:
Morien · 27/05/2013 08:49

Morning everyone! Lovely day here at last. gum I'm not working today either, and like you I'll be spending the day tidying up - my stepkids left this morning for their week at their mum's.

Poor gum, hope you get your lump seen to very soon.

I ordered a mixed lot of OPKs and pg tests off the internet and they arrived on Friday. I duly put them away, but come Saturday morning decided that in the interests of research I should really POAS (a pg test). Was a bit confused when I saw a faint line as really really not expecting it, in fact so not expecting it that I ignored it for a day. Sunday morning I thought I'd better check...this time I looked at the damned thing before peeing on it - the line I saw is part of the test! The moral of this story is look before you pee Confused

Have a lovely day everyone.

diege · 27/05/2013 13:40

arghh, will try posting again after just losing one!
Many many congratulations isabeller on your lovely news Smile.I am so pleased and excited for you Thanks
So sorry to read your sad news jass Sad. As you say, no matter how you think you'll cope and try to prepare mentally, it still hurts like hell xx
gum arghh sore teeth, awful stuff. I too have a tendency to ignore teeth-related things, but you must get this seen to before your hols!!!
green I may have made this up but did you say you were at the FMC in a week or so for your harmony? I am there on the 4th, on the of-chance it is the same day!
calibee sorry for bfn Sad xx
Well I am 43 years young today Grin. Nothing much planned but quiet is fine with me. Had a card from parents in which my mum had written (in relation to my baby news) 'This must be what you want so you must be pleased' - might be reading too much into it, but not sensing much of a hearty congratulations there Hmm. Parents eh!

diege · 27/05/2013 13:42

Meant to say morien don't feel foolish, I think we've all probably done things like that! What cd are you on? Sounds like you have a good stash of tests there anyay!

JBrd · 27/05/2013 16:13

Hello, ladies, I hope you are all well and get to enjoy some of the Bank holiday sunshine! We were meant to meet with our NCT friends today, but they all cancelled on us ? one lots has Hand, Foot & Mouth disease, and the other ones gave birth to DD2 on Sunday ? how dare they Wink

So having a quiet and ?local? day with DS ? Dh came with us to Softplay in the morning, but now has to work (boo), so I will have to entertain DS on my own for the rest of the day. Thankfully, he?s having a monster nap at the moment, so I can finally catch up with you all!

Sorry to all of you that have had some sad news this week, be it in form of a BFN or worse ? Jass and Irish, I feel for you, it must be so hard. Especially, since you?re not telling your other halves about the chemical pregnancies/miscarriages! I can understand where you?re coming from, but still ? it?s bad enough as it is, without having to face it alone. Hats off to you, I hope you?re still getting lots of support.

I?ve had a tough week, all culminating in one of my best friends (the NCT one I mentioned earlier) having her baby no.2 on Sunday. I hate to admit it, but I on and off cried all day when I got the news. At the moment, I feel as if I?m facing this massive wall, and can?t seem to see how I?m ever going to get over it to have another baby. And everyone (well, at least it seems that way) around me is popping gorgeous babies. At least once a month since the beginning of the year, and all I?ve had is bad news for myself.
It doesn?t help that I?m just coming to the end of a 12-day AF ? first one since mc, so I know that they can be all over the place, but it just seems to add insult to injury.

Really doubting it all at the moment ? ttc at 41, and how I can possibly face starting it all over again after having 2 mcs? I went to the acupuncturist for a consultation, hoping it would make me feel proactive and good, but to be honest ? I really wish I hadn?t, it made me feel worse.

The lady spent ages looking at my tongue and my temping charts, asked loads of questions and concluded that a) I have blood stasis, b) have issues with ?hot blood? and c) my charts indicate that I could have endometriosis. Now I?m not saying that that is wrong, she has certainly picked up on me having issues with blood ? which she should have, given my medical history. But she really seemed to focus almost too much on my temping charts, and to me it sounds as if she just wants to get them ?right? before doing anything else.
The more I think about it, the more I think that she just honed in on what she knows best ? she said herself at one point that she has more experience with ladies coming to her with fertility issues, i.e. not being able to fall pg, which is clearly not what my problem is. She was very pleased that I?m charting, again, people usually only start that after coming to see her. But I don?t think that my problem lies with my charts? I have regular cycles, I always ovulate, and always on CD14/15/16, and I clearly can get pg. She very strongly suggested that my follicular phase is not as it should be, i.e. too erratic, too high temps and all over the place. Which I don?t have a problem with ? so the line looks like skyline of the Himalaya, so what?! My average temps have been very high, fair enough, but I?ve been very stressed and not getting a lot of sleep recently (only 4-5hrs each night) ? my temps have plummeted this weekend, now that I?ve managed to catch up with sleep.

She then went on to suggest two possible ways of treatment ? the ?easy? one, where she doesn?t really do very much with the acupuncture (apart from sticking needles in me, obviously), just trying to relax me a bit, hoping that this will resolve the issue. She clearly didn't think much of that option. Or the ?serious? treatment ? where I get acupuncture as well as Chinese herbs to try and address the issues. In combination with that, she suggests a rather drastic life style change ? no exercise, no coffee or tea, only protein for breakfast, and no snacking between meals. And no ttc for at least 2 months, as the herbs are not compatible with pregnancy. I won?t go into the details about why all this (this post is already long enough), but all this all really rubbed me up the wrong way.

So, you can probably already tell that I?ve (almost) decided not to go ahead with this program. She was honest, and she does seem to know her stuff, but everything she suggested goes against what I believe in? I?m not ready (yet) for such drastic measures, especially since it all seems to focus only to get my charts looking ?right?. I challenged her on that, asking about whether she believed that this could be a contributing factor to my miscarriages ? to which she answered (of course) very vaguely and evasively. I know that there is no answer as to why I have them (well, no obvious one), and I know that I can?t expect acupuncture to be the cure, but if I don?t believe in the treatment course, the I don?t see a point in doing it. I?m not giving up exercise, and I?m not going to stop having snacks between meals. And I?m definitely not going to wait with ttc, scrap that!

But then I have this niggling doubt, which is why I feel so crap about it all. Am I dismissing this option too quickly? Should I not be trying everything? Could it work? Am I not dedicated enough to explore every single option? Should I not at least give it a go?
It?s been doing my head in all week. Wondering if I should go to another one, but at £50-60 a pop, these consultations are not cheap?
What do you all think? I?d really value your opinions, I think I need a reality check!

And sorry about the mammoth post!

sparklysapphire · 27/05/2013 16:38

Isabeller, many congratulations on your BFP! What lovely news. I hope you managed to get your assignment done, mine's not writing itself either hence the silence!

Irish & jass, so sorry to hear your sad news, especially as you don't feel you can share it with your DH's, though I understand why. I hope you're both getting some real life support.

Gum & mozarella, I hope you're both feeling better than you were. And JBrd, sorry your not feeling great either.

I'll catch up properly when I'm out of the OU assignment hell I'm currently trapped in!

jass43 · 27/05/2013 21:11

jbrd, 41 is of course a relatively young age on our thread here, but I still want to remind you that any chick above 40 can easily lay 5 rotten eggs in a row and still have a 50 percent chance that they we all just bad eggs. On my own sad story, I have to say that after 5 or more consecutive mcs it is really difficult to find a doctor who would still believe all your mc are justbadeggthingies. But with 2 mc the jury is sill out and you might not have anything more problematic going on. If you mentally can, just try again!
On the acupuncture and all that thing, I did accu for half a year and miscarried twice during it, then noticed my accup specialist was treating all this so mechanically, the same needles at same places were I ovulating, pregnant or in literal phase. Gave up. Have tried reflexology as well, but again did not feel the specialist was doing more than being very nice to me to continue getting my money. I you have doubts yourself, I would not really bother. These things generally only work if you are really confident they will.

Diege , for mum not being enthusiastic - well, they needed to put up with a serious Down etc. risk if they had a baby late in life, so they can not reprogram really to help us in ur ambitions to become young mothers when seriously middle-aged. Do not take into heart.

morien, lovely POAS story. Made me lough, even if I know it was or nice to laugh. Look before you pee -indeed, also think before you so do (consider whether you are actually the legal amount of days post OV). Then after POAS make sure you dispose of the test instead of squinting at it for next 24 hours whether there was a line or not. etc. we are all guilty of all this nonsense, and proudly so,I guess!

Calibee, sorry for that bf.n....

hopefulgum · 27/05/2013 23:39

Oh Jbrd, I am sorry to hear that the consultation with the TCM person wasn't what you'd hoped for. They do get very hung up on making things "right" before letting you embark on ttc. They think that the time spent doing that (i.e. not ttc for a couple of months) is time well spent, but when time is running out for us, that is very hard to reconcile. My personal experience of TCM is not with a fertility specialist, rather, a general acupuncturist. When I was ttc my DS at 41, she gave me Chinese herbs, but they were not a problem with ttc, I could keep going. And, you know, the acupuncture clearly hasn't been the answer for me, whilst doing it I have had three miscarriages. But I do find the acupuncture is beneficial in other ways, particularly for relaxation.

Ultimately you have to feel comfortable with whatever you do. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Have you had "conventional" testing for the miscarriages? I know if you are in the UK you have to have had three to have it explored, is that right? In Australia, it is up to your GP, and mine felt that it was worth exploring after two. I think she always felt it was an age issue, but wanted to rule other things out so that I would feel reassured there wasn't anything else I could have done IYSWIM.

If I were in the UK, I am afraid I would be dishonest and say that I'd had a very early miscarriage, so that I could have investigations into the causes.

Nice to hear from you Deige, Thanks Happy Birthday Thanks 43 sounds so young! I am hurtling towards my 47th Sad It is a pity your mum couldn't be more happy for you, but the baby boomers are a bit selfish and disapproving of everything, at least my parents and DH's parents seem to be! Of course, our parents also worry about us,and they seem to show it through their negative comments.

I have an appointment with the dentist this morning, which is a relief. It isn't very painful, but I can tell something isn't right. The tender swelling is above a tooth that had a root canal years ago, and I think perhaps some infection has gotten in, but because the nerve was removed with the root canal, I can't feel it in the tooth. I have an unnerving taste of metal, which concerns me, not a fan of having leaking mercury in my body!

I have just realised that I have "gum" in my name and I have a sore "gum" Grin Makes me feel kind of silly somehow...Hmm

OP posts:
VortexOfDisaster · 28/05/2013 05:07

Congratulations Isabeller, lovely news Flowers

Really feel for those finding things tough... Especially if you can't talk about it in RL. I can talk to DH, but no one else really, so know what that feels like.

Have decided there's nothing for it but to start charting, temping etc. After raised hopes with late AF (but bfn Sad) this month, need to have more info. Anyone feel up to giving me Fools Guide/ summary of how I need to go about this?

VortexOfDisaster · 28/05/2013 05:09

And so sorry about your gums Hopeful!! But your name is so optimistic about gums, it must surely bode well for outcome! Grin

CaliBee · 28/05/2013 07:25

Good morning all.
gum i quite often get those tender, lumpy, inflamed areas above a certain tooth....it can spread to the roof of my mouth and be really uncomfortable but always clears up on its own after a few days. I use chlorhexidine mouthwash which helps. I hope it gets sorted very soon.
jbrd i can understand you feeling a bit disappointed after your accupuncture appointment. You must do what is right for you....have you had a chat with your gp to see if they may do some investigations. I have to say i would maybe do what gum suggested and hint at an early third mc. Sometimes we have to bend these things...afterall they are working with statistics and impersonal values......we are the ones going through it.

So its just four days to the wedding. Af really needs to hurry up and arrive now...i dont need her to be in full flow. Yesterdays and todays temps took a mahoosive nosedive so i know she is imminent.

Isabeller · 28/05/2013 10:41

Just been catching up with everyone's news and sending hormonally charged emotional hugs through the ether. It's not surprising that I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable. I think I will have to find out from the clinic what the statistics are from here on so that I only worry the right percentage Wink.

I hope your wedding is all you wish for Flowers Calibee Flowers will be cheering you on all the way!

I have been struggling to concentrate but have finally got to a first draft for the assignment. I can't wait to get it out the way, I desperately need some quiet time to process everything.