Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

No temp increase yet.....I dont have a good feeling again for this cycle.

I am definately taking a rest for the next month!!!

Ladies Fertility consultation update (apols for the long post)

First up was my transvaginal scan and consultant found that my right ovary was ?small and inactive? (I think this means knackered ) which is , apparently, common in women of my age. My left ovary however was in tip top condition and very active ? could still see the follicles and clearly showed signs of ovulation ? temp had shot up this morning! Uterus was also in fine shape ? no lumps/bumps/fibroids/cysts etc. Only having one active ovary means that I will be ovulating only from one side every month which apparently isn't an issue in conceiving but can?t help feeling that having two might be better!

Anyway all my hormone levels are good and indicate that they are doing what they should be. He didn't think that Clomid would be any use to me as I am regularly ovulating. I had my bloods taken for my AMH test which he said is useful an indicator of ovarian reserve BUT should only be taken in context of all the information. He said that women who had low ovarian reserves do get pregnant and have successful IVF cycles so should be used as a guide only. So if I have very low AMH but elected to go for IVF it would mean I would have much lower chance of success than someone with average AMH but was still possible.

The other diagnostic he said we could undertake was to check whether my fallopian tubes were blocked but he said given my history and his observations of my uterus, it would be unlikely my tubes would be blocked (i.e. No history of infections or visible scarring).

DP sperm analysis showed his swimmers on the low side of normal (could be better but not too much of an issue ) so he will go back for another test in a few weeks as they can vary considerably from month to month. So MC Hammer trousers, no hot baths and lots of walnuts and Oysters for him. Still trying to get conception vitamins down him but he forgets all the time so doesn't take them regularly. Think he might be a bit more ?focussed? after this news

Overall IUI has a low chance of success and is usually used for those couples who have issues with ?regular? intercourse but is less invasive than IVF. IVF/ISCI generally has a success rate in our age group (43-44 with no other complicating factors) of around 10% which is actually higher than I thought. In terms of whether it was additive of just actually having regular intercourse he said it was much higher on the cycle that it undertaken but overall not much more. If we are considering assistance he recommended that we consider short protocol IVF given our age which uses my menstrual cycle rather than base lining my hormones and artificially bringing me back up.

So in summary age makes conceiving more difficult (no news there) but that plenty of couples conceive and give birth in their forties naturally but some struggle.

Next steps (if this month doesn't deliver the goods obviously ) are to get the results of my AMH and DP swimming test #2 and make a decision if we are going to go for IVF (which to be honest, I think is where we are headed and DP is up for it for which I am very thankful and makes me happy ).

Xx

Ps. We asked him what we could do to increase our chances/getting ourselves into the best shape and he said its all about well-being. No scientific proof that caffeine affects your fertility but don?t drink too much. Don?t worry about a glass of wine with dinner but don?t go nuts and get drunk and if you like acupuncture carry on as feeling relaxed and well is good for overall health!

pps. Really interested to see how your appointment goes morien. Good luck.

ppps. calibee did you take your Clomid this month? Can't remember what you decided to do...

greenlizard...all that sounds very positive.So pleased you seem to have had such an informative appointment.I think I may have an inactive right ovary too....although they never said anything after my diagnostic scan, it definately always seems to be the left side that develops follicles.

I did take the clomid...and I am pleased to report that I have been rewarded with a smiley face this afternoon on cd16. Not much good to me now that DP has buggered off to barracks however. I guess there is just a tiny possibility that his virulent young swimmers may hang around for the party though...more cheerleading needed to keep them alive

Thank you green for relaying back all that information. I'm glad the appointment went well and it sounds like IVF could be a viable option for you (if you're not pregnant already!). 10% sounds like good odds, if you had that chance of winning the lottery you certainly be buying tickets! (and the prize at stake here is worth much more than money) It's encouraging that your DP is on board with the idea of IVF too.
Interesting,and reassuring, about the caffeine and alcohol. I had cut down a lot on caffeine,we have decaff teabags and I try not to drink too much coffee though I do like to have the odd latte in the first few weeks of my cycle and I probably eat more chocolate than I should! With wine I have the occasional glass up to ovulation and try to avoid it in the 2ww.

CaliBee you could be in with a really good chance this cycle if you're ovulating now. I'm hopeless at doing links but if you go on the Baby Centre website and look at "timing intercourse" it gives the stats for conception on different days of your cycle. 1-2 days before ovulation gives the best chance and even 3-4 days is good.

JBrd hope you had a good time at the wedding at the weekend and that you're feeling ok now and the spotting settled down.

gum wonder if that dream was actually a premonition,you'll find out in the next few weeks!

AF arrived for me yesterday,after my body cruelly raised my hopes the day before with a sudden temp rise and a longer than average luteal phase.I even poas,something I had resolved not to do unless I was properly late. Ah well, here we go again.

Doing a wiggle for dp's swimmers here too calibee
green that does sound a very positive appointment, sounds like you have an excellent consultant there
Sorry for af irish, and for naughty temp rise. I always get that too (think there is a reason for it but forget what) plus a bit of ewm day before af which is oddly a pregnancy symptom too. Your diet sounds pretty healthy. I remember reading one of Marilyn Glenville's books after my mmc and cutting back on caffeine drastically (I was on approx. 8 very strong coffees a day),. Still kept to one caff coffee and tea though plus the very bad for you diet coke.
Well tomorrow is scan/harmony result/nuchal bloods/cervical measurement day!!! I think I will be a sweating shell of nothing by the time it is all over and walk out the clinic doors! I have had to cancel on of my lectures and jokingly told me students I was going to London for a funeral Until they remembered my barely disguised socialist politics (I teach politics) and realised I'd be the last person invited
Am staying over weds night in London, so will update on my return!

Meant to ask too jbrd if the spotting has settled down? Is it Friday you have your scan?

Good luck for tomorrow Diege ,I'm sure it will all be fine.
What a day to have to go to London though,I hope the funeral arrangements won't disrupt you too much travelling.I can just imagine your students reaction when they thought you were going to the big event!
Let us know how you get on!

Jbrd...thinking of you xxxx
Diege I do hope everything goes really well tomorow and that you don't have problems with the official funeral...

Irish, hopeful , green , sparkly and everybody....xxx from me :)

Morning ladies.

All the best for today(it is already Wednesday here) Deige. I am sure all will be well. I hope you can relax afterwards and enjoy a night on your own in the city.

Jbrd, how's things? Did the spotting settle down?

Notsoold, how's everything with you?

Irishmammy, I am sorry about AF. It sucks doesn't it? I know how shit the arrival of AF is, month after month. I do hope you will get your BFP, easy pregnancy and healthy baby in the end.

As for me, I reckon this cycle, despite throwing all that sperm at the egg, is a wash out. I don't feel particularly pregnant, and at 6 DPO I don't have very high temps. They are high enough, but not reaching for the stars, nor climbing as I'd expect in a pregnancy. I guess it is a just a matter of waiting, but oh how I would have liked a bfp this time.

So tired of the whole thing, but don't want to give up either....

On a brighter note, last night I read about a lady who just had her eighth son at age 43. Imagine having 8 boys? Phew!

Thanks for the commiserations gum , I hope we both get there in the end! Sorry to hear you don't feel optimistic about this cycle. On my chart when I was pregnant my temp wasn't particularly high until about 10 DPO. My temps last cycle were actually higher (until they dropped at the end).
My 12 months with Duofertility finishes at the start of May and I'm not sure if I can justify the cost of renewing it so I may try a month or two without temping. I'm not sure if it will be more, or less, stressful. I may feel more relaxed about it all, on the other hand I find (usually) it stops me getting my hopes up at the end of the cycle as temp declines so I may feel more disappointed when AF arrives(and more inclined to want to poas!) . I suppose I won't know for sure when I've ovulated though so far it's always been on cd 14,15 or 16 and usually fits in with EWCM. Hmm.
I do love to hear stories of ladies in their 40s having babies.Imagine all the rugby kits you'd have to wash with eight lads though!

Hello notsoold !

green The outcome from your fertility clinic appointment sounds quite positive! There certainly seem to be options for you to choose from, which I guess is what you want... How long with it take for the next round of test results to come through?

Irish and gum - sorry that you're feeling a bit glum. Ttc takes so much out of you... Be kind to yourselves.

Diege Good luck for tomorrow! Hope London won't be too bad, but Harley Street should be sufficiently far away from the funeral proceedings.

We had a nice time at the wedding, although I was a bit annoyed that FIL had blabbed about my pregnancy to the bride - I really didn't want to tell anyone on that particular day, as I was worried she might think I'm stealing her thunder (yes, my SIL is a bit immature). Fortunately, she was fine, but it kind of forced our hand having to tell DH's other siblings. Which we did, but now no one knows about the bleeding... I will never tell any family again about any pregnancy before 12 weeks at least. Rant over, sorry.

I'm still bleeding , although it seems to have slowed down a bit today (even though I was doing anything but resting). Still have very bad backaches, requiring painkillers... Early scan is booked for Thursday. Trying to keep myself distracted with baking, gardening and meeting up with friends. It felt good keeping busy, but I think I might have a pyjama day tomorrow and try to relax a bit...

Jbrd take it easy and if you bake please us a piece of whatever yummy you are baking!!! Xxx

I was quite sick yesterday and with diahrroea as well ( sorry tmi). The same today.....

jbrd, sorry to hear that you are still bleeding. And I would be so at FIL for blabbing. Really, no-one but you and DH should have the pleasure of telling others.
I am sure Thursday won't come soon enough. I hope they have wonderful news for you at your scan((hugs)).

notsoold, sorry to hear you aren't well. I hope it subsides soon.

Irishmammy, if you don't renew with Duofertility fertility, can you join again later? You could ttc without it for a bit and see how you feel? You might need that extra cash for all the lovely little bits you'll want to buy for a new baby.

My DD's and I went to the thrift shop today and had a lovely time. I found the cutest little summer growsuit for a tiny bubba. It was brand new and adorable. So I splurged (it cost $2) and popped it in my "hope" box. It is tucked away in my cupboard along with the maternity clothes I haven't quite felt ready to get rid of. A girl can dream....

This month I really don't have a lot of symptoms, which in some ways is a relief, and I hope that's a positive thing, because for so many months I have had so many symptoms and no bfp. Maybe I'll get a bfp when I least expect it?

I am feeling reasonably relaxed about it. This month I will not pee onto a stick unless AF is late. .... maybe ....

Irish...if you leave ff and return after few months, would you lose all your data???

Hopeful...I have a hope box with babies' perfum . They are quite expensive in my country and I actually have 2!!! And some babies things. ...continue to be relaxed ...that is the way ( I never managed I must say...
Jbrd xxxx
Green...was told by my hairdresser that the Brazilian blow dry is a no- no during pregnancy . it means I have almost afro roots and straight long hair!! I am stuck in ideas and do not want to cut it!!!

Diege...how was your day hun??? I thought of you xxx
Hi everyone I missed and love to all

Hi everyone,
I'm still reading, just haven't had chance to post (again).

JBrd, I really sorry about the bleeding, I hope it's subsided and the scan be able to tell you what's happening. Congratulations on your new job btw.

Diege, how was the clinic today? I hope everything went ok - and also that the sickness is subsiding.

Gum, nice to see your pic fresh from the hairdressers. As others have said, the first thing that struck me was how young you look! Good luck for this month.

Calibee, your work/leave situation sounds horrible, hopefully you won't need the leave as you'll be off with your soon to be DH. Your wedding sounds like it's going to be lovely.

Green, it seems like you had a very positive appointment when you finally got to the fertility clinic, and that you now have some options which is great.

I had my 20 week scan (can you believe I'm that far on - actually now 21 weeks) on Monday. Everything looks normal, which is a relief, but I still can't help worrying that there'll be something wrong and I'm irresponsible having a baby at my age. Our local hospital recently changed its policy and will now tell you the sex of your baby, but I decided I didn't want to know. My mum is convinced it's a boy though - I have no idea. DH didn't come with me as he was working, but didn't ask about it either, and when I got back from my midwife appointment last week, again didn't ask anything about it, but said he felt sick and disappeared. I was away overnight to attend the funeral of a family friend today (she was in her 90's), but he barely registered I was back, and has now gone off to do the weekly shop. So not great. I'm going to tell DD at the weekend, because it's about time, and because I'm starting to show.

Hi to everyone I've missed, I hope you are all doing ok. xx

B*llocks!

I just wrote a really long post and have just lost it and got to run... so please be satisfied with a paltry group wave for now and will post after work. grrrrr....

xx

ps. 4DPO today - no symptoms of anything.....

Morning all.
jbrd I hope the bleeding settles very soon. Is it today for your scan??

gum you sound ultra relaxed this month, lets hope the shagathon did the trick.
sparkly lovely to hear from you. Such a shame your DH is stil being a dick, but you have come this far so you can go the rest. I just hope he steps up to the mark when the time comes.

Well it seems my body has behaved...after a fashion. I have had a smiley face for 3 days in a row. Started on Monday (cheapies were dark over the weekend too but smiley not smiling) and was still smiling at me yesterday at 6pm...hmmm. I have now run out of smiley sticks but did another cheapy opk today which still look positive (or at least as positve as the weekend ones). However Tuesdays cheapy stick was the darkest I have ever had an opk, much darker than test line. Any ideas ladies??

The work situation is still simmering. I saw my union rep and just to cover all bases I saw occupational health on Monday too, to tell them I was stressed and literally at work by the skin of my teeth (I'm not quite that bad if I'm honest but some things just need a little help). A meeting was set with my line manager to discuss "annual leave" on Tuesday however her mother was taken into hospital so it has been rescheduled for Friday. I dont think she realises quite how disgruntled I am about all of this...and quite how far I would be prepared to go to resolve it.

Oh...and I have shrunk my wedding dress!!!!!!! My sister came over yesterday to take a look and I tried it on for the first time since washing it 3 times. Oh dear, is all I can say. She did however love my second dress ( the one I felt frumpy in)...her description was "bohemian" ....!!! I am however watching a Roman's Original one on ebay. So..I may be about to spend £200 on three dresses , but hey its my wedding day . I have asked DS to walk me in (can't really say the aisle as there isn't one!)and my sister wants to do a reading. I was a little dubious about this as I dont really want anything too twee b*llocks, however DP agreed it was a nice idea. Oh lordy..its getting close. I have to choose some music to arrive to. I was toying with the idea of Enya's Carribean Blue, and Emelie Sandez with Labyrinth's Beneath your Beautiful for the signing of the register. What do you all think?

I also meant to say that my temps have been unreadable due to waking at all hours. They seem to be up alittle but I have discarded them. Just as an experiment I temped after being awake for a couple of hours (but hadnt got up or moved much) at 5am today....got up went for a wee and temp had come down???? Weird.
Also, I went online to get more smiley sticks last night and have bought some clearblue dual hormone sticks instead. It looks like they give you both a fertile period and peak readings...similar to CBFM but not as dodgy as they are not trying to read several cycles at a time. Has anybody else used these?

Hello everyone, I've been taking a bit of a break from talking and even thinking about ttc. I wasn't planning it, but I realised that's what I wanted to do. I haven't read back over the thread yet but I hope everyone's ok. I've been thinking about you all.

Had to start thinking about it again though as our appointment at the clinic was this morning (interesting to read about yours, lizard). All our test results are apparently normal, and rather on the good side (good egg reserve in terms of quantity, good results for DP's sperm, etc), and the doc said that there's absolutely nothing (particularly given my MC last year, ie I got pregnant) to suggest we wouldn't manage to succeed naturally...apart from my irregular cycles, and the fact that we can't afford to hang around waiting. He's given me a prescription for something to bring on my period, and another for clomid, once said period arrives. I'll then be monitored right through my cycle until ovulation, at which point they'll do an IUI procedure (I can't see why we need to do this rather than just good old-fashioned DTD, but he said they have more success that way, so who am I to argue?) He said we'd do 2, maximum 3, cycles of this before moving on to IVF if necessary (he felt IVF wasn't appropriate immediately, given the fact that in theory I can get pregnant; I just need a helping hand).

I'm now CD31 so obviously I'd like to get on with it right away and bring on my period, but I'll have to go to the clinic on CD8 or 9, and I'm travelling for work next week and the week after so I don't want the 2 to coincide. I've worked out that the earliest my period can start, if I'm to be able to start the treatment this next cycle, is Monday 29th April. That'll be way shorter than my last cycle so it's possible, but it'll be just my luck to have AF turn up tomorrow. Anyway, nothing I can do about it.

I'm off to read back over the thread.

Hello! Wow morien that does sound very positive. Great to have a consultant who listens and it sounds like you have a good plan with sensible aims. Very pleased for you x
calibee hee hee sounds like the dress budget was a bit of a false economy It is as you say though your day, and if it takes a few false starts before you find the one, so be it - you don't want to be in two minds about your dress on the day. Would love some pics btw. Sorry work still super stressed, but at least you are addressing it and fingers crossed some sensible resolution will come out of it.
Well back from FMC scan and all looking good. Phew...Harmony back negative for 3 major trisomies. Nuchal 1.6cm, and combined with nuchal bloods, nasal bone and 2 other markers they look at risk reduced from age related 1 in 37 to 1 in 747. Would have been happy enough with that, but having the harmony is super reassuring . Cervix was measured at 2.98cm and while a little short, not of concern at present (has to be 2.5 or under to warrant concern - they ideally like 3-4cm). Kypros Nicolaides did indeed scan me (after one of his minions did the basics). He said baby is growing well and due date now moved forward to 22nd oct. He was so lovely (though very heavy handed with the scanner I might add) I think I have developed a bit of a crush. Thank goodness the cervical scan was abdominal - not sure how I would have calmed myself for a dildocam . Going there for my 20 week scan too as the staff are just so fab.
Gum I love the idea of a hopeful drawer. Re symptoms, I know I wasn't expecting it but the mth I got pregnant this time my temps were only just above cover line and I had no symptoms...It really is a minefiled!.]
Love to all - will try and read back and catch up properly now x

Deige, I've been hanging out to hear your news and I am chuffed for you! Those odds are brilliant. How lovely that you can now get excited about having a baby!

I can't wait for that day(for me)...should it ever come.

Morien, It sounds like a great appointment with your fertility doctor. I think he's right:you will get pregnant. I do hope the clomid and IUI hit the spot!

Calibee, I just looked up those dual sticks you mentioned. They sound really good - they give you a bit of a heads up before the LH surge (much like the monitor). Are they cheaper than buying monitor sticks? I haven't ordered any sticks for next cycle, I am in two minds about it. I think I want to stop throwing so much money at ttc, and try to just take a relaxed approach. I don't know...I don't like feeling I have no control though

Just when I was feeling that there's no way I am preggo this month, my boob tenderness has gone up a notch, I feel bloated, temperature is reasonably high and I've been having some heartburn, which is really unusual for me. But, I still have 6 days til I am late for AF, so I just have to be patient.

Hi ladies. Sorry for the prolonged absence but I've really not been good. I don't even have the concentration to read what I've missed, so apologies and I hope that everyone is ok.

DP and I have decided after talking about it that given the current state of my mental health and the cocktail of drugs I'm taking to try and level things out we're going to stop ttc for the foreseeable future. Weirdly I feel really ok with this cos even I know that a baby now could be very bad for me.

I may never be properly well enough to start trying again, and I'm also ok with that. Much as I would like to have my own child, even I can see that it could be dangerous for me and given my drugs, and baby.

We're still having sex without protection, but as nothing had worked with focused shagging I don't expect there to be any danger I might get pregnant.

Sorry about the me post, but I do honestly love you all and hope you all get your heart's desires. But I'm signing off ladies.

drwho I'm sorry you haven't been well. It sounds like things are so hard for you at the moment - I wish you all the very best, with whatever you decide. We'll miss you, though.