Ttc after recent mc, for Creme egg scoffers, shared confusion and joint cursing of mother nature

[Thundercatsarego]

I couldn't bring myself to call her a bitch, we still need her help! Come on ladies, let's do this thing....

Hopefully that helps you too then....the hospital told me 3 months but I think most people get told a month?? We didn't TTC for the first month at all tho, but I know some people do get PG again straight away, it's a personal choice.

Having children already must be a bit of a comfort too as at least you know you can (feel for your DH, as you say it's not right but can see why he is worrying that it's his prob).

I waited for nature too and miscarried at home, so again if I can help at all I will

fod I was told to wait for first af, we half heartledly tried anyway but no joy I think as it was a completely messed up cycle (and first af has lasted the best part of 2 weeks so still feeling pretty messed up this cycle too). I chose to let nature take its course with my mc too, didn't need any extra treatment but it did take a long time and lots of hospital visits for scans and blood tests. Hope all goes well for you.

Hoping af has finally finished but think I may have ov'd during the end of it (wtf?) so dammit may have missed my chance this month. Going to try anyway over the next week just in case. Definitely going to try opks next cycle. Being v lazy at the moment, my name change is very apt as I have done hardly any DIY/house stuff despite my good intentions but have eaten a tonne of cake, biscuits, Creme eggs etc...

Bakingtins glad I have too, it's nice to share and read other people's experiences...although its a really awful thing to go through its comforting to know we are not alone in this. I had no idea that the first cycle acted as a 'clear out' cycle. Think it's def best to wait until after bearing that in mind. I feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel now we have decided ttc again...it gives me something to focus on as oppose to dwelling on the pain and injustice of what we are going through atm, not that I'm saying it will be easy.

Shellshock Wow really??!!!! 3 months?! Crikey that seems like a really long time to wait. It is a comfort and definitely makes me appreciate what I have been blessed with and I'm very lucky in that respect, I just wish I appreciated it more at the time. I was a very young mother and this was our chance to do it again 'properly' that may sound strange, plus my partner would really love children of his own and I appreciate how hard that must be for him xxx

Yeah I had no complications or anything so dunno why?! I always wonder tho as coincidentally DS was conceived after 3m, tho I know it's rubbish as its all luck really

It's great that you went on to have DS tho :) we were concerned about it happening again ;(

Sadly, most people on here agree, pregnancy is hard after MC...it's good you are thinking forward tho, that will help you lots

Is the general consensus that its difficult to conceive after mc? That's very worrying, as this is my first mc that was our biggest fear hat we would struggle to get pregnant again

Sorry 'fod' I meant that when you are PG again, it is hard after MC as you naturally worry more, sorry if I upset you....I personally haven't found getting PG again to be an issue

Sadly, most people on here agree, pregnancy is hard after MC...
I think back to my first pregnancies. I was early twenties, totally invincible back then! I sailed through both with no thought for complications. Miscarriage never entered my head! I wish I was back there!

Shellshock phewwwww I was panicking then... I was 17 and 21 when I had my kids (so yes mega young and resilient) I'm now 29 I will be 30 in July but I don't think that should be a worry ..... Here's hoping anyway xxxx

There's no reason you should struggle to conceive again after MC if you had no fertility issues in the first place. You often hear it said that you are more fertile in the few months following a MC, I don't know if that is true either?
It's most likely that you've had absolutely shitty luck this time and that next time everything will be ok. According to Prof Lesley Regan, your chance of a miscarriage next time after a single MC is 20%, compared to a risk for all pregnancies of 15%, or, let's think positive, you have an 80% chance of having a successful pregnancy. It is hard though, you can't get the innocence back of blithely assuming a BFP = a baby.

Morning folks,

Ugh, feeling worse for wear this morning. Too much wine (and chocolate) last night. Bliss at the time, but now there is hangover and guilt. DH being very good and bringing me everything in bed. It's not entirely altruistic, he just doesn't want me interrupting the cricket. I may take advantage and whine for weetabix in a bit. I also weighed myself this morning and discovered to my horror that I have put on 10lbs since finding out I was pregnant. I actually think the majority of that is the confort eating I've been doing since. So have made the decision to restart the diet and the gym (tomorrow).

Welcome to the new people and sorry for your experiences. Fod, Ove read loads and not found a thing suggesting its difficult to get pregnant again. I'm looking forward to trying again (!), but am anticipating I'll be very anxious if/when we're successful. I think unfortunately anxiety post-mc is one of those things.

I was told to wait three months too. That went in one ear and out the other. I wonder why though. One month I 'get' in terms of dating but don't understand the rationale behind three. I suppose it must be emotional recovery. I think we're going to 'not be careful' until first AF then start trying after that.

I need a new book. Can anyone suggest something good? Not too heavy but nothing sappy either.

camomile snap, drank too much Fri and Sat and feel done in now....think my brain has told me to drink loads before ovulation as I've decided to go dry for the 2ww

Feeling good tho, back on the case DTD so feel as if we are at least trying to get PG again...I hate AF and pre ovulation days, just a waste of time!

Hope you're ok this morning fod

Cammomile I too have piled on the pounds, decided to embrace the fact I was going to get bigger and splurged... Now left feeling emotionally and physically crap, doesn't help that I'm still in maternity clothes either ;(

We have both decided to hit the gym for fertility, vanity and something to focus on

Woke up feeling ok, I think with each day that passes you get used to the idea ( never thought I'd say that) until I remember the physical element my body has yet to go through. Every twinge or cramp I have makes me think 'this is it' and then nothing
Want this chapter to just be over so we can move on, start trying and thinking positive xxx

Hopefully we will all be back announcing BFPs, successful scans and discussing names

Cam try "The one hundred yr old man who climbed out of a window and disappeared". I've found it hard to concentrate on novels recently but I enjoyed that one. If you have a Kindle it was only about 70p.

Sorry to hear about your m/c Fod - life is just so unfair at times! It's amazing how many people you hear have had m/cs once you have had one yourself - I was in a car full of ladies on the way home after a meal the other day - they are older than me and have kids and they were chatting - they ALL had a miscarriage at one point or another! I was amazed

Hi Lyndsey - I like you had a really early m/c - one strange thing I found with me is that my ovulation was a bit odd for a few months afterwards, even tho I was only about 5 weeks or so - I don't think that is the norm though and most ladies's cycles just seems to adjust themselves straight away so good luck - just don't worry if it takes a little longer to righten as I panicked a bit.

Bootyboo your soo right! The more people we have to tell the more we discover our friends and family have gone through the same things.... It's a little comforting especial those that went onto have children.

Your right it's so unfair! I have a hate the world attitude atm, especially when I see heavily pregnant women or newborns...breaks my heart

Lynsey / fod sorry that you find yourselves on here. There are many ladies on here that can relate to your situations. I'm now 7+ weeks after erpc and still no af. We are not preventing but not actively trying due to wtf cycle and thinking we should have one clear out cycle. I poas on Friday just to check as no af but got a bfn. Just wish af would arrive!

Evening,

Well, what I'd anticipated would be a horrible, difficult day ended up being fine. We were off to meet my best friend's new baby. Turned out to be fine which was a shock as I have found myself glaring at practically anyone with a pram or bump since last week. I think its because they such great people and make such a lovely little family, its somehow hard to be anything other than over the moon for them. Randoms with bumps though - grr. Some lady actually caught me snarling at her in tescos today. From the sympathetic smile in response I think there was a shared understanding that she knew exactly what I was thinking and had been there. Random compassion - nearly made me cry (think I may still be a little hormonal).

Thanks for the tip about the book tins. Ordered it from amazon today, along with the two 'often bought with' books suggested, so excited about having lots to read which I wouldn't have necessarily discovered myself (how I've tended to discover good reads). Feeling good about gym and diet tomorrow too. If I come on here having not gone I need berating. I'm with you fod - throwing self in to other stuff appears a good way of dealing. I'm a week or so 'ahead' of you though - you are looking after yourself as well aren't you? Are you in work this week.

Shellshock - hope the hangover wore off.

Night night.

No I get half term off (perk of being a teacher I suppose) started bleeding today and cramping, really scared now I know it's about to happen. Fiancé has been fab and is really lookin after me...hope AF returns soon.... Read a few like that - take a whole to return to normal - that's now a worry too ESP as I want to TTc ASAP. Glad to hear you had a good day xxxx sendin you best wishes

Oh fob, it's so sad isn't it. I can only speak from my experience but I found deep breathing quite useful for getting through the physical side of things. Not into meditation or yoga at all so it was only deep breathing (in slowly through nose, hold a bit, out slowly) but I found it helped with pain and kept me a but calmer. Everyone is different though so just sending love and wishing you all the best. It's shit. Xxx

Fod how are you this morning? Hope you are being looked after.

Cam get your trainers on! Hope you like the book. It's great you were able to be happy for your friend. I think you are right that it's often random people or acquaintances that are harder to deal with, where you don't know the backstory. I had 2 colleagues give birth the same week I miscarried and were parading around showing off babies (grr - but to be fair they didn't know why I'd been off sick)

Liesl hope your AF shows up very soon.

Hi Fod,

its been 19 days since my MC and its a weird journey (so to speak) but you do get better so while im so sorry what is happening to you try to hold on and be kind to yourself - you are going to come out the other side ok.

Cam - I thought I was doing great then went to see a friend's new house yesterday - she is due her 2nd baby the first week of March - I did feel weird seeing her bump (not that I had one but you know as in to see a sucessful pregnancy) - she is a nice girl but my goodness cant people be insensitive - after asking me how I was doing she proceeded to tell me how her MIL once had a MC and 'found it really hard to conceive again' -thanks for that I thought and also a bit weird given the MIL went onto have another children after the MC! Then spent the afternoon saying how she hated being pregnant and felt like she was trapped in a fat suit and was so tired etc etc and I thought well I do remember towards the end of pregnancy you do feel big and abit fed up but on the other hand I was thinking why dont you just fucking shut up you stupid lucky bitch!

phew - got that off my chest

shes a nice girl and I will be very happy for her when baby comes - forgive me for being mean - this is what I am finding - I think Im doing great and then have a little breakdown - I went home and wept buckets.

Spanish - yeah, that would've floored me too - its amazing how people can be so thoughtless and unempathic isn't it (makes me nervous about all the times I've probably been inadvertantly thoughtless). My friend was sensitive about it yesterday; she struggled with ttc so maybe 'gets it' in a way people don't when they've sailed through the whole thing with no problems. I'm really cross on your behalf though. You're not being mean.

I'm anticipating being up and down. There are some people I'm dreading seeing, generally people who got pregnant roughly when I did for example. There is one ex-colleague of mine who is one of those 'perfect girls' who I disliked anyway, I think out of pure jealously if I'm honest. Her e-mail announcing her pregnancy arrived on the day of my booked 12-week scan and I was absolutely distraught. We must've conceived within days of eachother and it was all "we obviously couldn't announce it before in case blah blah blah, but we had the scan yesterday and saw a perfect little blah". She didn't know so it wasn't thoughlessness (shes far too perfect to be thoughless - grrr) just excitment. I am going to avoid her like the plague as I honestly don't think I will cope with it! And I don't care how childish that might be {{stomp stomp}}

Hope you're ok fod.

xxx

Hi guys I totally understand where your coming from we took the kids out to a jungle bungle type place (so of course it's full of kids) the place was packed so we had to sit by the entrance....where I got to see all the new born babies being carried in....fanfuckingtastic!! We of course moved as soon as another table became available
I ha e one friend who had been great she has mc 3 times (one after the other) went for tests and had to have an injection during her fourth pregnancy ...so of course she totally gets it, however theres a right bitch I work with (she's fully aware I don't like her, I told her i would remain professional but I didn't want to see or speak to her socially) she has sent another colleague of mine a text to forward to myself basically consisting of her experience of mc -she's very much a me me me person oh and mentioned that she "wants to be friends and would like to talk" what the fuck?!!
I am so annoyed, like I'm not going through enough right now and this ridiculous human being thinks I have the time or inclination to play stupid playground games
We went the mother in laws and I started to bleed a little (bright red at first, that was followed by a dark brown blood) I had some mild cramping pains and then nothing ;( it's driving me crazy! Is this the start? Will it still take ages? The not knowing is awful