TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Joy I'm sorry that the blood results are not going the way you would have hoped.

Art I can't beleive you are 12 weeks already!

princess 6 months at the PIL! Some criminals have to do less time than that!

Thanks for all your kind thoughts ladies. I still won't believe it until I get the blood test results, but I am starting to get over the shock!

Wow - bittersweet news today.

Just popping in to give joy a huge hug. Everyone else has said it better than I can - you are a wonderful person and this is so cruel. I wish you weren't going through this. If you can go home and rest, do. Praying for a miracle for you.

euro oh my goodness this is amazing! I can see that you'd be in shock. I'm thrilled for you... can imagine that it all feels very fragile now, but this is just wonderful news.

Thanks so much Princess for your lovely message. Please don?t ever feel awkward posting on here. Your words mean a lot.

Pout ? interesting you have been speaking to MrP about calling it a day after ivf last night ? i had the same conversation with Roy (i think we are also on same page). obviously I hope you are proved wrong and it will produce your baby but i find i like to have a plan of when we call it a day. I spoke to a lovely lady in my clinic who is pregnant after 4 years of cycles. I reckon she has had well over 10, she didn?t divulge how many she has endured. She has the financial means to keep trying but she said it had almost become an obsession. I quite understand that. She had been through so much with ivf ? ectopics, m/c after seeing hbs and yet she still keeps going. This pregnancy was looking positive though. But i did think, thank god i don?t have the means to continue like that. As for our stats being 2% after 3 years, i still believe extraordinary things can happen. I have heard so many miracle tales , however, i also hope I can soon move on with this and put it to bed and accept things. Weirdly i came across a post i started 2 years ago saying ? how can i deal with a friend who is pregnant?. [i was beside myself back then] That?s where we got chatting with some other girl who started the 6+months ttc thread...it has been a ridiculously long time.

Art ? thanks for your message. I?m now 6wks+2. I would have thought the beans should have grown but apparently they were the same. They say they have to see a hb by 7wks. Oh and i?m black and blue. My stomach went a frightening black/mauve colour and there was no more room to put clexane so i?ve moved to my thighs which now look like i have been hit by several cricket balls. My arms are bruised from the ivig and daily bloods and my back where the gestones shots go is very painful and lumpy ? in fact it wakes me every time i turn in the night. i think the steroids have made my face go hairy so i?m a really pretty picture!

I don?t know what is wrong with me when it comes to work. I?ve always been worried about how i?m perceived and will always drag myself in if i?m poorly. It?s not a martyr thing, I just worry that people will think I?m faking it. I have only taken one day off in over 3years here and that was for my last m/c. I think it?s partly because my role doesn?t feel particularly safe ? i?m the only one who doesn?t earn money for the company and so i?m expendable. It also must be a family thing. Having just got off the phone with my mum who has been particularly kind ringing me every single day for the last few weeks, I was desperately trying not to cry and she was clearly sad too but she was just like, ?you must keep cheerful?. It?s very old school. When someone close in our family dies, it?s very much , ?that?s life? , get over it and move on. No doubt we all go and cry in private, hence I got off the phone and went to the loo and took 30mins to compose myself. Went back to the office and cracked some jokes and i thought, no one knows that i?ve just been crying for half an hour. How warped and bizarre is that. Anyway, no doubt i will need to call in sick in the next few weeks but if it gets too much I may have to do it before then.

Oh joy I could scream for you. Reading how black and blue you are and how sore seems to make it seem even more unfair. It's almost like for Christ's sake what more do you have to do to get a fecking break?

I think back and we were quite beside ourselves on the original threads. I guess you can't keep up that level of emotional fervour forever and I think a kind of deeper sadness kicks in. I know it's probably controversial to say but I think the difference back then, for me anyway, was that I had hope & that was feeding the TTC monster inside me.

joy I understand your work ethic and you should be proud but you know that you don't need to have the flu or a limb hanging off to be unfit for work. Don't feel guilty if you need some time at home to process everything. puts bossy boots away

I have been trying since last may for a baby and nothing has worked me and my fiancé each had children with r ex partners and she have tied everything u can think of :(

joy I'm so so sorry. I can only add my wishes and hopes for you.

euro congrats, brilliant brilliant news.

Oh what a bitter sweet day.

I have nothing to add really from my side. I feel pretty bad again today and have 'night shift stomach', not testing yet, a negative will only mean I have to test again to be sure. pout I'm one of those 9 years plus women, you are right you don't want to be there. I'm so ready to hang up my TTC boots. I've already knotted the laces together and am eyeing a nice peg. About time.

Goodness I have missed a lot since vivgate. I have been firmly in the tent with the doors laced shut, due to various happenings but it is a story for another time as there are bigger things going on here today. I don't have time for full namecheck as I am not finished for a work deadline but..

euro well there you go, you just never can tell! I am so so happy for you. You trusted what was best for your body and this is good news. You can get pregnant, you are pregnant. Enjoy every single second and try not to do the worrying, though I know that must be hard.

joycep my heart broke for you a little bit this weekend and I'm sorry I've not posted anything sooner. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through and I am wishing with everything I have that this will be one of those stories where it all comes good. I think you need to be very stern with yourself about the need to take some time off work at this time. You have been a loyal worker under extremely stressful circumstances and one day in three years is commendable by medal. I know how strong your work ethic is and your concern about people thinking badly about you but most people have days off for colds! I strongly feel you need to have some space to rest and just be. I'm sorry the drugs have made your body look like you've gone paintballing, clexane is evil. I'm pretty sure it is what made me have that hematoma (not a worry for you, it was the scar!) and the bruising is a very visual reminder of what you have been going through. Please know that we are all here for you.

doll I have been thinking of you too - how goes the roughness?

Nice to see this thread so busy and to see old faces

Joy - oh sweetheart - how long must you be tortured. I am so sad to hear that this nightmare is still ongoing. But as those above have said, there is hope. I really feel for you and also agree time away from work may be time well spent. I do think it's ok not to be cheerfull sometimes. What an amazing woman you are Joy - how strong and focused you are. Please be very very kind to yourself. I wish I could scoop you up from work and take you for tea and cake and comfy settees and chat, I really do. Please tell Mr Joy we are thinking of him too.

Euro - you only went and did it!!! I am SOOOOO THRILLED for you. What amazing news and how wonderful that you followed your own instincts about the way to go. Do you have any symptoms? So exciting and very well deserved. Big big hugs and jumps.

Doll - I have everything crossed for you. You had a beautiful embryo transfered so lots of reasons to be positive. And I am glad that either way it is a good outcome for you as it will allow you to find permanent peace and happiness.

Hello to Sweet, Steph and the other new lady. We are a bunch of welcoming and supportive gals but hope you don't have to stay here long. Steph - I noticed from your other post that you had a miscarriage last May. Very very occasionally miscarriage can alter fertility (not necissarily in a severe way). It is worth asking your Dr for tests although they usually want you to ttc for a year before they will start that process. Good luck.

Gin - I will be doing FET about a week before you. I think 2 days off work sounds great. I am only having off the day of transfer itself due to the new job. Bit worried about approching that as I will need to ask for an annual leave day 6 days ahead of the transfer as that is the earliest I will find out when it will be. Hope that is going to be ok with the new manager - will cross that bridge I guess. Glad you are feeling a little better - weekend breaks really do wonders don't they. We are planning our next for March/ April - we have been through enough and need little glimmers of nice things I guess.

Hi Art - glad thinkgs are ok for you. Have you officilally told people yet?

Sea - 3 years without a diognosis is very tough indeed. Sorry if you have already told us this but have you ever had a HSG or lap?

Hello to Critter, Pout, Rabbit, Den and everyone.

Sarlat - 33, DH 48. Ttc for nearly 3 years. 1 MC first month at 6 weeks. Since then 2 IVF cycles with BFN. Lots and lots of misdiagnosis on the way. Recent lap has confirmed damaged but repairable right fallopian tube due to post miscarriage silent infection and also mild endo in other areas. Now waiting for FET and ongoing natural ttc.

Cross post Rabbit - sorry you are in the tent. I am leaving some tea and scones at the door in the hope they will make you feel a tiny bit better. Emerge when you are ready. xx

rabbit hope that you are okay. If you need anyone you know where we are

peaceport and wine. God wine was ace. It's funny isn't it to remember. It would be nicer if everyone stayed.

BTW adding a potted description of you as a person as well as a TTC stat is a nice idea

doll You are being so brilliant at waiting to test, not to mention sensible. FX for you when you do.
I hope you weren't offended by my TTC 9 years comments. I didn't mean anything derogatory about women who try that long just that I'm not strong or determined enough.

Just had to come onto the thread briefly to check the news. And euro CONGRATULATIONS. Feel free not to believe it til Wed, but I am fairly confident this is the real thing. HURRAH.

So incredibly sad though to read your news joy. I remember the horrid time between 6+4 (there really ought to be a heart beat, but maybe hopefully) and 7+4 (it was over, in our case - that does not need to be your outcome). It is terrible, difficult and in my case I kept on moving from utter despair to quiet hope straight back to despair. Psychologically the couple of days after 6+4 were the ultimate pits. The worst part of the whole experience. So my heart goes out to you, have a shoulder, do what you need to do (also re: work). Meanwhile I am crossing absolutely everything for that miracle. Hugs, chocolate and all my heart. So sorry.

Quickly for sea. If we do another IUI it will be SO with injectables, cos that is what I got pregnant on before.

Sorry you're in the tent rabbit. But wholeheartedly agree with the being more than TTC stats! Will think of a good summary (which does not give too much away either).

Wave at pout, remember current rabbit was wine in a previous incarnation. There have been a few name changes. Even I was something different, but I cannot remember myself

joy I really am so sorry that you are going through this, after everything you just think life is a pile of shit. I don't want o give you false hope but I am hoping that it is good news for you on Friday. It is exhausting as well, the not knowing the wondering what the next results will say. With my first miscarriage they didn't do blood tests I just kept going back once a week for scans for nearly a month, its total torture.

I know you are concerned about your job, but you matter more, you are also by law entitled to sick leave, speaking from experience you need some time off to grieve and for your body to recover. We are all here for you, I have pm'ed you too. I really am so so sorry joy big hugs. Sorry didn't mean to keep harping back to my miscarriages on here.

I know you must feel in such a bad place right now but after 3 long crap years of ttc you have almost got there, I know you are thinking shut up silly cow, but you do now know that you can make a baby and next time it will be different. I'll stop now....................

doll feeling bad could be a good sign, when are you testing??

mrsd I suppose adoption is something that you need to get your head around, abit like IVF, for me I just want to be a mum and I don't care how it happens, I don't need to be biologically related although that was my main aim, the thought of DE totally upset me at first, I'm sure some of you remember my melt down over it. I just needed time to get my head around it and to remember that my main goal is a baby. I won't bore people with the details but can pm you the basic outline for adoption here in the UK.

rabbit sorry you are in the tent, big hugs to you

well LC MIL went better than I thought, we even discussed our TTC plans with her and the aunt. MIL did call when we got home but Barry ignored the phone as his favourite crap programme was on, she emailed me today saying that she would happily come with me to Brno if Barry is unable to take time off work. Now I have to explain to her that Barry will need to be there to do his bit

hello to newbies

Joy ? I am so sad to hear about what you are going through. I really hope hsg go up and this is just one of those unexplainable blip and everything will get back on track. I really really really hope so. I totally get what you are saying about carrying on as if you are okay and not wanting to take time off. I am similar ? always putting on a smiley face even if I am dying inside. It?s important to give yourself time to get better though and you shouldn?t force yourself as what you are going through is huge ? both mentally & physically. Unless of course work actually help take your mind off things. [hand hold, positive vibes and good wishes]

Euro ? what great news! V v happy for you. Good luck for Wed! Try to enjoy the good news.

Pout ? Didn?t want to shock you re 3 years of TTC and success rate dropping to 2% when trying naturally without help. I never really worried until 2 years and 11 months in ? then it clicked how weird it was that I have NEVER been pregnant. And that was what my consultant told me. I agree with Joy that there are many stories of extraordinary things happening? As Euro said, there are just many things that science still can?t explain.

Rabbit ? nice to see another yogie on here. What kind of yoga do you practice? You are so right; we are not just our ttc stats.

Sarlat ? I had hsg and lap ? both came back normal, in fact v good as did all my other results. Even though all that is good news, it doesn?t help me at all not knowing why I can?t get pregnant. The only tests I haven?t had are the chromosomal tests, NK cells and post coital tests. I have 3 NHS IUIs and my plan is to do those first and then do the 3 tests I haven?t done (privately) and based on the results I might do the nhs ivf offered or go straight to a private cycle.

Buzzy ? glad to hear MIL wasn?t as bad as expected.

Doll ? good luck for testing this week. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Hello to everyone else!

Evening all,

What a rollercoaster of emotions this place can be.....

joy I am so sorry. It really sums up how wonderful you've been to me and so many others on this thread that you are taking the time to comment on our struggles while going through such a horrible time yourself. You and Roy have been through so much, both physically and emotionally and it will take time to heal. This is a time to make sure that you are there for each other and to be extra kind to yourself. If that means sticking two fingers up at work for a few days then do it. I was the type to never miss work but when things went crazy last year I came to the realisation that there are times that you just have to step back and let it go. Not forever, just for some breathing space. Take care and come back whenever you can xx

euro what wonderful news. We need that today more than ever I think. I am so thrilled for you both and will be logging in on Wednesday to hear that the blood test has confirmed it . From now on we will all remember your story when we are worried that it feels like it hasn't worked. You really never know!

rabbit sticking my hand in the tent for a friendly wave. I hope that you feel up to emerging sooner rather than later but take the time you need. As I said up thread - I disappeared for a year when I needed it. So glad that I have all of you now, though, as we move on to the next stage. Thanks for also reminding us that we are so much more than just women trying to conceive.

buzzy you gave me a much needed chuckle thinking about your mil not realising that you would need Barry along for the trip. I don't envy you trying to explain that one!

mrsd I was really anxious on that first thread as well. I was worrying about not taking cold medication two days after ovulation. I had such hope during every 2ww back then. It was exhausting!

Following rabbit's lead - I am 34, married to my wonderful husband for several years now. I have a penchant for baking and crafty things, although I have been known to get many projects to within a day of completion and then fail to do anything with them for months . I work with children and love my job, which is completely different from MrM's which I think gives us a good balance. I am a real worrier and have been known to worry that I am not worrying and must have forgotten something important. I live in a house that i couldn't have imagined living in 10 years ago not huge just perfectly us on a friendly and quirky street. I have lived in several different countries throughout my life but have now lived in this city for longer than anywhere else and am very happy to call it home.

Big waves to everyone else.

Joy - I am really sorry to hear what you've been going through. I know when I had my MC (first month of trying) I spent my fair share of time crying in the washroom. I'm hoping for a miracle.

Euro - Congratulations on your news.

Rabbit and Sea - I have also been doing yoga quite a bit lately, 30 min to 1 h a night.

To follow everyone else's lead, DH and I have been married for nearly three years. We both really enjoy making delicious treats. I am a scientist and because of our career choices, we relocate every few years. So far we have lived in several Canadian provinces, but never abroad which will hopefully change within the next few years . We both have lovely families and my MIL took over 2 years to conceive each of her children naturally, which in a small way gives me hope.

Morning ladies. In pish stick news, there was another faint line this morning - no darker than yesterday's. I will be on tenterhooks for tomorrow's blood test. I still don't actually believe it. A few people have congratulated me. I don't feel like I have anything to be congratulated for, because I don't feel any different, it doesn't seem real.

To add to the personal description (lovely idea - we are more than the stories of our barrenness, after all): Mr Euro and I have been married for two and a half years but together for nine and a half (it took a while, but we got there in the end!). He's a Plastic Paddy (born there, grew up here, speaks with a terribly posh BBC accent), I'm a Brit. We're both disputes lawyers and therefore terribly conflict-adverse in our personal lives and rarely argue (quite common among our ilk, apparently). We are both complete chocaholics. In terms of hobbies, I am absolutely useless at anything craft-related. I run (badly) and gym. I also like photography. He likes shooting American teenagers on the PS3 and xbox. Last year, we both took up long range rifle shooting as we decided we needed a hobby to take our minds off things. I am not sure how baby-friendly that will turn out to be if this goes right for us. His family seem to be pretty fertile. Mine not - there is almost 10 years between my mum and her brother, my dad is an only, as am I (my mum miscarrying 4 babies after me). So I grew up well aware of how hard it can be to come by babies.

Buzzy I can't believe your MIL hasn't worked out that you need two people there to create a baby! Explaining that one could be fun.

doll I hope you are holding in there. Is Thursday your OTD?

Joy I'm thinking of you.

Morning All,

I hope you dont mind I am attempting to delurk once more, I have tried a couple of times but life has always got in the way of posting, although I have been reading on and off since thread 6 I think!

Joy - I am so awfully sorry that you are having to go through this after you have already been through so much to get here.

Euro - Fingers crossed for a positive result on the blood test (I think it is tomorrow)

Doll - fingers crossed for testing and feeling rubbish being a sign.

I wanted to say that unknowingly you have all been a great source of information and hope for me over the last 18months or so, especially interms of what to expect from Drs appts etc, descriptions of HSG and laps and I have a few points that I am taking away to my next appt (tomorrow) to talk through with my (frankly hopeless) Dr - so thank you all so much.

A bit about me (I dont want you to feel wierd that I have read about you and not shared!) Me 31 DP 35 ttc 18 months, not a sniff of a bfp. Bloods all good including AMH, scan showed polycystic overies (no syndrom) and SA normal. Next step I guess is trying to get HSG before they make me take Clomid (the wonder drug that just buys them 6 months as far as I can tell as I ovulate as far as I am aware from bloods).

In other news I love ANYTHING to do with food (eating/cooking/reading) and exercise (which is lucky as otherwise I would be the size of a house) but am terrible at all craft related projects. In the middle of renovating a house, which is a tad depressing as we keep having to have the conversation of - well if we have children.....urgh

Oh and I am completely rubbish at spelling so along with the numerous typos I apologise in advance.

Thanks once again for your lovely support ladies. you give me strength.

Euro ? it?s just brilliant news. hcg results are bloody nerve wracking but the fact you are getting a positive on a stick is a great sign. My beta on blood test day (15dpo) was 185 which was strong and i got a negative on a stick!

Welcome back tenmonths and hope your doc appt goes ok. Completely understand that renovating a house might be a bit . We are stuck in a 2bed flat at the moment and would love to move to the sticks and get a house but it?s difficult to know how many bedrooms we would need. Most our friends did the buying house with 3 beds before kids and they managed to fill the bedrooms up. [poisonous grimace]. We were never that daring.

Sweetgrouch welcome and sorry you find yourself here.

Madness ? thank you for your lovely message. Can I ask what you did for that year you disappeared? Where you having tests or did you put ttc to the back of your mind? Oh and I?m another worrier and also get worried if i have nothing to worry about ? ttc sort of cures that doesn?t it?!

Buzz ? i certainly wouldn?t be thinking for you to shut up. It?s really helpful having advice and kind words from people who have been there so thank you. I would love it if you could pm the basic outline for adoption in this country. I?m finding that the more I think about it, the more I can come to terms with everything else. It kind of gives me hope that we will get to be parents one way or another. But isn?t it hideously difficult in this country? we have a wood burning stove in our flat so i?m sure that?s a big no no.

Lemon ? i remember all too well the horrible time yuo had between that first scan and the second. I have found the daily beta tests hideous ? just waiting to hear and of course for 11 days it was going fine but then suddenly it wasn?t. But i think perhaps it has been a blessing because i won?t be walking in to my scan blind like you were ? normally i would have been none the wiser although i would be very suspicious by my lack of symptoms.

Rabbit ? i?m so sorry you are going through a difficult time at the moment. i hope you feel better soon. thanks for your lovely words. I did like it when you said some people take days off for a cold as that?s exactly what my colleague did yesterday. He?s always pulling a fast one yet the manager still kisses his butt.

Doll ? sorry you aren?t feeling well . Keeping fingers crossed for Thurs.

Pout ? i like bossy pout. I remember that despair a few years ago of panicking that i was being left behind. I do get moments like that but with time comes acceptance...well until the next preg announcement that is. Hope does wane after a while.

So i was called by a doc last night which was novel, it is normally a nurse. Beta isn?t good & he confirmed it?s looking like bad news, which of course I know. But I am going in on Thurs for a final scan and blood test and that will finally confirm the outcome. I know there?s no hope. I desperately just want to come off all this progesterone now which i think is just keeping things going and I hate the thought of pumping synthetic progesterone in to me when there is no point (also it costs £20 a day). Going to take Thurs morn off work and see if I can see my GP before the scan. Hoping she can refer me to the EPU as I don?t think the clinic manages failed pregnancies. Roy and I clearly make alien babies that aren?t compatible with human life. If it wasn?t for my last m/c, I may have put two embyos implanting but failing to develop down to bad luck but this is now 3 failing to get to hb stage. Immunes have been under control so it?s not that. To me it now suggests we are dealing with some chromosome/genetic issue which quite frankly if true will be the final nail in the coffin. Anyway, i?m quite chirpy today but having become emotionally schizophrenic I know this will change at a drop of a hat.

Have been loving reading people?s personal descriptions so here is mine which probably sounds more suitable for a dating website; Me 33, Roy, 31. Married 4 yrs. TTC 3 yrs. We are laid back, down to earth people but verge on the eccentric ? we would be better suited to the 1920s. We have never had a row. We love the countryside, dogs, skiing, tennis. I dream of living in a cottage in a country village, growing veg and making jam and chutney with dogs and 2 kids running about. Enid Blyton stuff really. I?m an introverted extrovert ? love my own company but also love nothing more to let my hair down, have a good drink and a dance. I like photography, painting, baking and writing but am no good at them and London makes me too lazy to often get round to these hobbies. I plan to have my own business in 3 yrs time. Roy is quiet, sweet and kind and apart from the odd dick head comment, i still think he?s one of the kindest gentlemen i have ever met...but then i?m biased. . I also have a crazy MiL who loves overstepping the mark.

I am meant to be working but the cat has plonked herself on my laptop.

Hello toNewbies, I am glad that you have de-lurked, and Doll has already issued the "don't mess" ultimatum. We are a lovely bunch as you probably already know. But I hope you don't have to be here long .

I De-lurked on thread 2 I think. Astonishing. And not really in a good way.

Joy I hope you are holding up as well as can be expected. I am thinking of you so much. I know we are all praying for the miracle; but I also know that sometimes it is less painful to accept the inevitable. You are being amazing, but as the others have said, don't feel you have to be strong. You are going through hell right now; some time off and extreme sadness would not be unreasonable! Hand holds for you x

Rabbit I'm sorry you are in the tent. It's a rubbish place to be. I am probably joining you for a bit. Have some Rocky Road in the meantime. Or pancakes perhaps? Paw squeeze.

Doll huge fingers crossed for happy Valentine's Day news. I'm not yet ready to stare down the barrel of giving up TTC, but I admire your attitude so much. Can we stay friends please. I'd hate it if you left us!

Art and Princess so great to have you keep popping in. I also wanted to congratulate you both on the complete absence of scan pics and pregnancy moans on FB . You have stuck to the 10+ers code!

IVF cycles (fresh or FET) are coming up soon for many of you. I'm hoping for plenty of Spring BFPs.

Euro great that the line is still there. Does it feel any more real today?

As for me, I have been royally fucked off as I've been very lightly spotting since CD17. Today is CD25. I have successfully ignored it, but today thought to myself "well on any other MN thread, that would have been a 100% guaranteed sign of pregnancy. Maybe I should test". So I did. Dipped stick in jar of wee, put stick down, got loo roll, wiped. Ladies it will not surprise you in the slightest that I found a great smear of blood (sorry). I'm still not sure if I'm CD1 (I think this is still "heavy spotting" but wtf is 8 or more days? I usually get 4 at the most. Ah well. Test was BFN of course.

I have my follow up from the IVF next week so will ask if it's related. My first post IVF cycle was 40 days with absolutely zero spotting. Anyway rant over. I should probably get back to work. Waves to Gin, Sar, lemon, Critter, Pout, MrsD, Teu, Buzzy and the gazillions of others I've missed. Blame the cat

joy No words really, just hand squeezing from me.

Hello to the new comers tenmonth sweetgrouch and midnight 'Tis a nice thread in an otherwise shite situation

nelly Some months I have spotted for 5 days or more but 8 days seems like a lot. No medic people have been interested so who knows. I do know though that anything different to our usual cycles is just plain worrying. Do you think it could be your system readjusting after the IVF?
BTW sorry about the BFN. I hate those bastard sticks and have lost hope of ever seeing that elusive second line

lemons I think my last post was one of those rare times a would actually have been appropriate!

Woo hoo euro for another line today. Will be waiting with bated breath tomorrow.

My stats Me 37, DH 42 Together almost 14 years, married for one year. TTC approximately 3 years now. Been slapped with the very helpful "Unexplained" label and have had all the usual tests, lap&dye, HSG etc. Tried Clomid and also Metformin owing to dubious suspicions of polycystic ovaries which seems to have been latterly poo pooed. Waiting now for CD1 to start my first round of IVF. As for the personal stuff...I am into crafting especially decoupage and basic sewing stuff like bunting and cushion covers. I also love cake and so do quite a bit of baking. I have two canine babies who I am potty over & who regularly cause me to make a total tit of myself.

joy am thinking of you today. Wish I could say something to make it better. I can imagine you'd be desperate to stop taking the progesterone - I always found progesterone supplements made me feel really foggy. And talk about adding insult to injury that it's 20 pounds a day to take them. I'm just so sorry you're going through this shit.

nelly so sorry about the spotting, the BFN and the blood. Seriously - can our bodies not find better things to do than torture us with their crazy mental-inducing behaviour? It's hard to think about other things than TTC when you're constantly being sent conflicting physical signals. I am sorry.

euro hurrah for another line still being there today. Hang in there! Maybe some chocolate to calm the nerves? Will be thinking of you and willing your blood test to confirm things. I hope when we have our April drinks that they'll be non-alcoholic ones! I actually worked out that I'll probably be just starting to down-reg when we hang out in late April - so will be awesome to see you for support!

doll good luck this week. You are my hero - I so admire your positive attitude throughout all this. I hope Mrdoll has been looking after you, and that little doll is being as cute as ever.

tenmonths welcome back! I would question them if they push clomid at you, if you're ovulating anyway. The whole point of it is to force you to ovulate so if that isn't the problem I don't see why they'd prescribe it? It made me feel cray-cray so I would ask some questions. Also - if they do give it to you - make sure they monitor you while you're on it.

sweet a fellow inhabitant of north america! Are you Canadian then?

pout have never tried decoupage - is it like collage? I so want a dog, but we live in a flat and I figure that one of the good things about being childless is being able to bugger off on hols at the drop of a hat.

buzzy at your MIL's comment and having to explain to her why you need Barry there too!

madness I wish I loved my job - always envious of people who do.

Forgot to wave to princess last time - it's lovely when you come back here, I miss your lovely long posts!

Apologies for missing out lots of people - better do a bit more work. To add to the brilliant rabbit idea of personal essays - I chose my username after admiring a very preppy type of colourful trousers worn by posh east coast American men that have tiny animals embroidered all over them, known as 'critter pants'. Married to MrC for three years, together for nine years. He is American, gorgeous, and what one might call the strong silent type. We're both 33. Live in Washington DC (but from the UK). I like being silly, eating salt n vinegar crisps, and writing self-indulgent poetry.

Oh I forgot my update. Gulp.

Me 38. Yuck. MrNelly 35, the bastard . TTC for 2.5 years. Not even the teeny tiniest sniff of a natural BFP. Blood tests a year in were, according to my GP, all completely normal. MrN has supersperm. Finally got to see NHS consultant another 9 months later who broke the news that actually FSH was high at 11. HSG clear and dildocam showed ovaries looked fine. Went private to start IVF, had an AMH which was around 1 - disastrously low really. Decided to give IVF a go anyway (though I went to a different clinic). Did Flare protocol. Looked like nothing was happening in the early stages, cue much wailing on here. However eventually got 3 eggs, all of which fertilised and had 2 good quality embryos put back. Started period the day before OTD. Blood test was very definitely negative. Meh. So got married a week later (co-incidental!), went off on a fab honeymoon and am now pretending none of this exists. Lalalalala.

The personal. We've been together for a very long time, but married for about a nanosecond. No reason for the delay other than laziness. I am an outdoorsy person (see username) - luckily so is Mr Nelly. Lots of hobbies that involve spending stupid amounts of money doing dangerous things. My main hobby is life-consuming, which has been great for stopping me turn completely nuts over TTC, but I refer to it on here as Hobbling as it would probably out me. I also have 3 cats so I am all prepared for being Cat Lady when I cut my losses here. Have lived abroad but spent most of my life in Scotland, where I am now. Love food, wine, cakes (making and eating them) and have recently taken up knitting which is rather soothing. Well I have to find something to do with my time now I don't have a wedding to organise.

Jeez, that was rather long. Clearly I like talking about ME !!

Pout/Critter the spotting is indeed a bit strange. It probably is due to the IVF but is annoying as I'd like to think my cycle was back to normal before I start again, and I don't really have time to delay. Tick tick .

Afternoon lovelies!

GRRR about weird spotting nelly. Although I loved the update :)

So so sorry joy, getting the doc on the phone must be odd. Keeping stuff firmly crossed until Thurs (and beyond if we can).

Impressed with all the chat of moving on, building families one way or another etc. We've had chats about it too, but I am not really ready.

Quiet yay for euro. Can't wait for the update tomorrow!

Welcome to the delurking newbies. I am failing to keep track, maybe you can add yourselves to the growing list a page or two ago.

The me outside TTC, which I think is a great idea rabbit. I've been with lovely SB for 5 years, married for 2,5. Before him I was convinced I'd end a cat lady without a partner, because there was a LONG draught... I love my job, but both new and old jobs are incredibly googleable so you just have to take my word for it. It involves a fair bit of thinking and chatting and coffee and writing. And some more give-away bits. I have always done a fair bit of exercise and am trying to regain my running abilities, which is going very slowly because a) it is cold, b) I am injury prone and c) I am lazy. I have done a fair bit of yoga too and trying a new class tomorrow :). We live in a tiny flat and when diffed I mainly panicked about twins... I love cooking, baking and taught myself to crochet a few years ago. Now I am the crazy lady who makes granny squares on a commuter train.

Hello ladies. I've been shafted by the bloody trains again and am gonna be late for a meeting, so popping onto MN, as a treat!

joy I am so incredibly sorry for you. I so so hope a miracle does happen. Do let me know if you need any RL support or help. I have no idea how you are managing work! You are one super strong lady. Seeing the GP sounds like a good idea - you don't want to hand over more ££s to the clinic. I totally know what you mean about nothing changing and work etc being same old same old. I think i feel like that as i want a big change in my life ie a baby and it's just not happening. Massive hugs and luffs to you and Roy.

pout at the canine babies. Were you having a mock ET at some point?!

euro excellent news about the stripey pee stick! I am thrilled to see natural ivf having worked for someone. Maybe that's an option for us with DS, if iui etc doesn't work.

nelly sorry about the spotting and pee stick. I bloody hate those things and my period inevitably starts as soon as I've wasted money on them. I've never seen the elusive 2nd line and doubt I will... I'm sure the spotting is your cycle getting itself back to normal. My post ivf cycles were really long too. They say it takes 3 months for your hormones to properly recover.

Welcome 10months. I lurked for ages before joining and now I'm never off it!

rabbit I hope you are ok. Sometimes it is all just too much. Big hugs.

buz at mil! My mum offered to take me to the clinic if Dave couldn't go and I had to point out the obvious. I found it v funny, not sure she/dave did! Please could you pm me about the adoption process too? The more time goes on, the more I think we'll end up there, if they let us adopt!

critter did I read that you've decided to go for ivf. A brave decision lady and wishing you lots of good luck with it.

Waves to everyone I've missed.

Loving the non-ttc update, lemons, critter, nellie etc, critter i need to see a pic of the trousers! I've never heard of them. Here's mine... Me and Dave both 34. Married 4 years, been together 8.5 and known each other 13! We're history geeks (professionally, as well as interest-wise ), like drinking wine preferably in the south of France, reading the Guardian, and going to gigs although we're always the eldest there now, cos everyone else our age has babies. Dave is allergic to animals, so our totally spoilt fur baby is a guinea pig. I like clothes, gin, cooking and trying to make things grow in my garden. Dave likes sport and FIFA. But I still love him to bits and he's my bestfriend which is a bloody good job seeing we can't have proper pets or kids cos of him. Nah, I wouldn't change him for the world. We will just have to have more piggy babies!

Right if anyone lurking knows me in RL, I have totally given away who I am!!