TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

50 squid euro, if I remember correctly! Also they rang at about 5pm with the results, which was a bit shite. We were off work that day, but really could have done with the next day off to recover cry. Although I'd still be at work at 5pm and wouldn't want to take that call in front of colleagues....

I might just wait for my period then. It should arrive around Wednesday anyway.

Hey euro remember that the fanny candles can delay your period. I was 5 days late after my first round.

seaview I had my nk cells tested on the NHS, the only thing they offer me and it was because of the miscarriages and my age. You can go private and have your tests and not have had a miscarriage. It was tough especially the second time when I had seen a heartbeat and a moving baby and almost believed it would work as I had reached 10 weeks. To be honest they feel like such a long time ago, I was a bit taken back by the fact I have trying for almost 2 years.
So are you Italian too?? We went to Italy last year and loved it, such a beautiful place :)

sweet welcome to the thread

gin glad you are feeling better, I have had a faint line on a cheapie ov stick and yes it could be a late ovulation, I've told Barry we'll have one more crack at it on Tuesday :)

euro what a bloody cheek that they charge for a blood test if I remember correctly art didn't have any symptoms and though it was all over, fingers are crossed for you my lovely

well we are going round to MIL's soon so I can practice my LC on her need to take deep breaths and tell myself its only for a short time

just popping back to say joy I do hope you had better news today. You poor thing, what a terrible terrible time.
euro good luck if you are peeing on a stick in the morning.
sea what is your timetable, you due to test from the IUI soon?
gin yes I will pee on a stick, rather than do bloods, Thursday is a holiday here, so I'll just wait to call my doctor on Friday. I don't see much reason to stalk him, it's either continue the meds or stop the meds and I already know that. I have been feeling rough today, Ken is in the kitchen making steak and chips which I intend to eat with a little glass of red wine, like the wild child I am.
Have a lovely Sunday evening all.

forgot to say gin I'm glad you had a lovely weekend break and sweet welcome.

Joy ? I have been thinking about you. Any news? We are all rooting for you that everything is okay.

Welcome sweet ? sorry you found yourself here. Good luck with the testing.

Euro ? Why do you feel that it will be negative? I am hoping that you will be pleasantly surprised tomorrow. Fingers crossed. Interesting what you say about NK cells. I think it?s something I might investigate more depending on the results of the IUIs.

Madness ? Im sorry to hear about your TTC journey. The lapo ops you had v serious. How are you feeling on the decapeptyl injections? I do find the ?Unexplained? diagnosis frustrating but mostly I think it lulled me into a false sense of security that I would get pregnant naturally for a long time. I think it only hit me about 6 mths ago that it is possible that even with no reason medically I might not get pregnant. One doc told me statistically after 3 years of trying. If you do it au naturale, your chances are less than 2%. It came as a big shock to me as it?s the 1st time I felt I wasn?t able to do something that I wanted to do - physically. V odd & I am probably not explaining it v well. It?s made me realise what a control freak I am and how loss I felt when I couldn?t control my own future.

Lemon ? it looks like our TTC journey is quite similar except I only just started on the IUI. I?m sorry you about your m/c. If you opt for another IUI, will you do SO or natural? And why?

Gin - I followed in madness? footstep and looked on other threads with viv?s name after seeing the drama on here the other day. I think she was banned for writing an AIBU thread that suggested pregnancy symptoms to the urge to go for a number 2 which offended quite a few people. According to MNHQ, viv was not her 1st identity so I guess gail was her 3rd identity. Good luck with this forth coming ivf cycle.

Buzzy ? no I am not Italian. Mr Sea is and I am Asian (Oriental) but I am British. Came when I was a little girl. I do have a strange theory that mixed raced couple seem to have more trouble with TTC. I have no hard scientific evidence to back it up at all aside from a lot of time sitting at AC clinic waiting rooms and seeing couples there and friends I have who are having issues with fertility. The majority seem to be mixed race. I am probably talking complete bs but those long waits at the clinics really make you think strange things. Mr Sea thinks I am mad. I would love to know if there have been any clinical studies done to find out.

Doll ? good luck with the testing this week. My OTD is shortly after yours on Sat. I am not much of a symptom spotter. My boobs are v painful but that is really not unusual for me.

Hi to everyone else and special positive thoughts to Joy.

doll that is a good point re: the progesterone. I think when I tried them before they did delay my period a little bit. I'll POAS in the morning and then take a view. I guess if there is any uncertainty, I'll go for the blood test, but frankly I have had enough of drs for a while! What day do you plan to POAS? (NB. "All of them" is a perfectly acceptable answer.)

We plan to take the next cycle off, while Mr Euro gets his volume, etc checked out, and then try another cycle after that - probably natural but we are considering mild, primarily to see if we can make embryos that get to day 5 as this cycle has shown that I make decent eggs and they can fertilise. Then April, we have to take off as I will be in the US for work over crunch week. If cycle 2 doesn't work, we might take the napalm antibiotics from the greek tests then, as it will be a wasted month anyway. Then May/June we will give one last round a go. I like to have a plan.

I might live dangerously and have a glass of wine tonight too!

sea x-posts.

I feel the same about being "unexplained". I want a diagnosis so that I can be "fixed". I struggled hugely with going for IVF. In what other area of medicine would they prescribe shed loads of drugs and invasive minor surgery without having a clue what is wrong with you? Like you, because I hadn't been told why it couldn't happen, I kept hoping that it would. I think we need to face the fact that we are "special" and have something undiagnosable on current scientific knowledge!

Interesting point re: mixed race couples. My bff who needed IVF is in an ethnically Indian/Brit relationship. But I know plenty of people who are boringly Brit couples who have struggled too. I would have thought logically that the diversity of genes from mixed race couples would be a good thing in terms of reproduction. And on certain London estates, almost every toddler you see appears to be mixed race!

Hi everyone

joy I was gutted to hear that you had such a horrible scare. You don't deserve this. I am hoping with every bone in my body that things will be ok with your twins. Poor you, what a terrifying time and what a rollercoaster of emotions. Please never feel that you can't vent on here, it's what we are all here for, and we all care about you very much indeed. On Friday I happened to find the first thread and saw you, mrsd and pout on it, back in March 2011, and I felt so happy that you had finally had some good news (and sad that pout and mrsd were also still here. It's devastating to hear you're still not out of the woods. Really hoping you are ok.

euro I am so sorry that you feel that this round hasn't worked. You always impress me with your pragmatism and your dry sense of humour about all this. It isn't over yet. Massive hand hold - this must feel like the longest 2ww ever. It's great that you have a plan already, but I really really hope you don't need it.

gin hurrah for a night away and an early bedtime - that actually sounds like heaven! I know exactly what you mean about the not knowing being the hardest thing. Glad that you and MrG got a lovely break together away from it all.

midnight and sweet, welcome welcome!

seaview ohhh... sounds like you will have a beautiful baby when it finally does arrive - East Asian and Italian? Hello future supermodel child! You asked how I knew I'd be long protocol? Well...I haven't done a round of IVF yet but I was going to in the autumn/winter, before I decided to take a break to recover from all the drugs. Because I'm in the US (and thank God, have decent healthcare that currently covers two rounds of IVF) I've had great care from a fancy specialist 'reproductive endocrinologist' whose surgery smells of rich mahogany and when I met him for my pre IVF consult he said I would be LP. I can start my first IVF cycle whenever I like, which is awesome - have just been thrown off by hoping my crazy non-existent cycles would resume.

lemon boo to having to work on a Sunday and having a busy day tomorrow but yay to outdoors and exercise after finishing work! I am having one of those days where my to do list seems to get longer and longer... it's such a good feeling to tick things off it.

madness sounds like you had a lovely time last night and hope that today's toddler brunch went ok!

art thank you for your post about the hardest part of IVF being deciding to go for it. That is how I have felt. Back and forth about being desperate to do it and not wanting to do it, teamed with fretting about not making any travel plans for six to eight weeks during the cycle. It was really helpful to hear that from you, as you've been through it! Hope the little bean is doing well and that MrArt is adjusting to the sex ban!

doll am thinking of you and crossing my fingers for good news for you this week. Steak, chips and a glass of vino sound perfect. I'm glad it's nearly the end of your 2ww, it feels long to me and I'm not even going through it!

buzzy good luck with your MIL - at practising life coaching techniques on her!

sar hurrah for the FET at the same time as gin - I bet that will be great, to have the pair of you able to support each other as you go through it at the same time!

I'm having a nice quiet, productive weekend here - went to a Pilates class this morning, made some sweet potato and apple soup to take into work this week, did some laundry and ran errands. Next weekend is a three-day weekend here and I'm already excited!

Adding myself to the list...

Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...

buzzy About to hit the big four 0 grin certainly feel or act my age Barry 39 TTC # 1 for 22 cycles, BFP first month April 2011 of trying miscarried @ 6 weeks, BFP in Sept 2011 miscarried @ 10 weeks, 2 x ERPC with 1 perforated uterus thrown in for free. Diagnosed with high NK cells5 x Super Ovulation with Gonal F, one SO with IUI. Fertility MOT showns low ovarian reserve, AHM says 1.1. taken goodness knows how many supplements, DHEA for 3 months, acu for 6 months, 16 cycles without not a whiff of anything and counting, moving onto DE IVF in May overseas, starting the adoption rollercoaster, next year I will be a mum by some means or other grin

Seaview 35 - no issues, had hsg, lapo, ORT - all clear and good results, low FSH & high AMH. Mr Sea 39 - all normal. Diag with Unexplained Infertility. TTC 3 years & 5 mths. Never been pregnant. Jan 13 - Had 1st IUI with Clomid & now on 2WW

lemon and SB 34 (nearly and just), TTC since summer 2010, unexplained, done 3x natural IUI, 3x SO IUI. BFP but mc on first SO IUI. Now qualify for IVF, but might stay on IUI for another cycle (or 4...)

gin and Dave both 34, ttc 2 years 8 months too bloody long, male factor sub-fertility - very low count, poor morphology and motility ie 2 good sperms! 2 mild ivf cycles with icsi at Create and now about to start a FET cycle, with the 1 embryo we have frozen.

Madness (34) MrM (37) TTC 2 years 8 months, never a whiff of a bfp.
Ovulating normally, SA normal
Stage IV (severe) endometriosis finally officially diagnosed this year.
2x laps, Fallopian abscess drained last year in emergency procedure, right tube and some adhesions removed and cysts drained during most recent lap in December 2012. Much of the endo remains as removing it risked damaging my bowel.
Placed on decapeptyl injections and hrt to shut down ovaries and halt/shrink endo before starting nhs ivf in April.

critter 33, MrC also 33 - TTC since April 2011. MrC is fine, I don't ovulate - PCOS and amenorrhea. Came off pill, periods never came back. Six rounds of Clomid, only ovulated once. One round injectibles in September 2012, nothing doing until suddenly eight eggs, had to cancel cycle due to risk of being an octomom. Recommended IVF in October 2012. Planned to start in Jan 2013 to give body a break from drugs and mentally prepare - randomly ovulated naturally in Dec 2012, but haven't ovulated again, so planning IVF in April/May.

Bloody heck just spent ages writing a long post with proper name checks and have lost it all. So frustrating!!

Will write properly tomorrow but wanted to send good wishes to euro and MrEuro for testing.

And critter you inspired me to find that first thread. It was joy who first welcomed me. I so hope that you are alright. Please take care of yourself xx

Ok. Will name check tomorrow. Have a lovely Sunday evening everyone.

There is a second line. Crikey.

In my mind, it could still be the trigger shot (thought I tested it out last week, but maybe my wee was particularly concentrated this morning?). I will be menkulling like crazy until blood test Weds. Am shaking.

Yes, yes, yes euro! You know what they say, a line is a line! Congratulations. Everything is crossed for you.

Got to do some work, but I will try to catch up with you all in a bit.

Euro . OMFG as the yoof say. Still early days, but two lines are better than one . Wow!!

Freakin amazing euro!! I'm pretty sure trigger shot should have gone by now. Yay! Fingers crossed for the blood test.

Euro woohoo great news to wake up to on a Monday morning. Good luck for Weds. (though I'm sure there's no need for good luck) :)

Waves and love to everyone else xx

Are you at work today euro? I bet you won't be able to concentrate!

joy I was so upset when I read your news. My heart goes out to you. I am hoping that all will still be ok. Please feel free to come and post here at anytime, we are here to support you. I also understand if you want to stay away.

buzz your plans for de ivf or for adoption both sound exciting. I am totally ignorant about the process of adoption in the UK, what's the first step?

Who was on the original thread then? Surely we've done our time now? I read that thread a few weeks ago, and I think (though it's hard to believe) that I was more upset and anxious about it all than I am now. I have reached a sort of acceptance. But, I don't know how much of that is based on me thinking that ivf is going to work. I'm terrified that I don't have a plan B if it doesn't work. Hopefully we'll do a cycle in late March/April. If that doesn't work then we'll try to fit a cycle in over the summer, and then one before xmas. After that I think we'd have to call it a day and try to move on from ttc. By that point we'd have been ttc for three and half years and all our savings will have gone. I can't bear to think of that yet though, one step at a time.

Congrats euro very exciting, trigger shot would be out of your system by now :-)

Thanks ladies. V shocked, and still not believing it.

mrsd I think I was on the original thread. I sneaked on when I had been trying for 4 months when it was actually a 5+ thread I think. I decided that you looked like my kind of ladies, and that the chem preg I had had before we started trying counted to get me in the gang.

Euro ? yes, yes, yes - that?s bloody amazing, woohoo!! I know it?s nerve wracking waiting for bloods but hopefully everything will just go swimmingly and easily for you from now on in. Really fantastic news.

Buzz ? i had no idea you were kiwi. I must have missed that at some point. I was also v saddened to read that you had seen a hb and everything with your last pregnancy. There is no rhyme or reason for such cruelty. I did giggle at practising your LC on your MiL. I must say that would summon all my energy.

Seavie ? i understand only too well the frustration of being unexplained. But take heart and comfort from your high amh and hopefully it will be one of those simple things that IUI may sort.

Doll ? thinking of you in the hellish 2ww.

Madness ? commiserations on the rugby score yesterday. Reading your ttc journey summarised just reminded me of what a horrendous time you have had of it all.

Gin ? i?m glad you are feeling less gloomy about ttc . I totally know what you mean about moving on with your life. Year after year of being in limbo land is just hideous. But onwards and upwards towards your FET. yippee.

Thanks ladies for your lovely words. the scan showed no changed from last week. No heartbeat on either twin. HCG still hasn?t doubled in over a week. It had crept up yesterday but nothing significant. The doc said not to write it off just yet but he said it is bad news if the hcg continues to creep like this. I saw on my notes that my hcg should be around 23000 on Friday and it was only 9800. It should be around 30,000 now and it was 10800 yesterday. A failed embryo can still release hcg hence the creeping up. I have been desperate to just wake up and be sick everywhere or have some sign my body is doing something. But zilch. Not a twinge, not a cramp in a week. The cramping in the first week tied in nicely with the hcg doubling.
I know where this is headed and I?m dreading it. I feel sick to the stomach at the money we?ve spent and especially in the last 2wks trying to keep this pregnancy going. Thurs/Fri is the cut off point ? if no hb then that?s it. Sitting at work feeling pretty dismal about it all. you ever get that feeling when the same old surroundings and the same old work colleagues just really get to you (perhaps not) but i have got the most annoying manager breathing down my neck and bothering me about inane rubbish. I just want to walk out, give up work and go somewhere far far away from here right now.

Joy I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Have gone through 2 natural MCs, I can only imagine how heart breaking the prospect of your IVF round failing must be. We didn't have the money thing to factor in but the waiting is the absolute pits. My small mucus plug came out before I miscarried the second one and I identified it when I went to the loo the night before the MC, so knew in my heart of hearts it was over. However, I'm still crossing my fingers and asking the universe to send you a little miracle or 2. If you doctor is saying there is a small glimmer, hold on to that. I just wanted to say that if your colleagues are getting to you and you can't concentrate, I would go home. I hated my ex colleagues and didn't feel guilty about taking any time for myself because they were such horrid morons who I just couldn't stomach at tricky times (I also called in sick a couple of times when I was feeling low because i really couldn't cope and it didn't affect any of my references / appraisal grades) Maybe just go and say you're feeling off? Or can you get a sick note from your GP / the clinic or even just fain a migraine / food poisoning? What's happening is a big deal - whatever the outcome - and I don't think anyone would blame you for looking after yourself right now. I hope you don't mind me posting. I do feel awkward, but you have been there for me when I needed your help and I just wanted to extend some love and support and to let you know that I'm thinking of you and Roy and truly hoping that despite the "not great news" that this turns itself around. . I guess, all I can really say is that I'm really sorry that this has happening Big non MN hugs xxxx

oh joy, I am joining princess in asking for a little miracle (or two) for you. If the Dr hasn't given up yet then there must still be a chance.
Life can be so cruel and to get so far for it to be snatched away is the cruelest torture. I second princess too in saying go home. Unless of course work is helping take your mind off things but it doesn't sound like it. Say you're feeling sick and go. Work is not that important, you need to take care of yourself. Could your GP give you a sick note so you can have a few days at home? I hope mrjoy is doing ok and is being strong for you. Massive hugs xx

Firstly WOW Euro I am so chuffed for you - that is such lovely news. You were the first thing I thought of this morning and I logged on with a degree of trepidation but it has made my day to read about your second line. Tentative congrats and roll on for more happy news on Wednesday

joy You were also very much in my thoughts this morning and all weekend actually. I can't believe that you are still being dragged through hell. You are such a lovely person and this seems so unbelievably cruel. Like everyone on here I am willing for a miracle or two for you
BTW I second suggesting whether going home (or to a friends) might be better than being at work right now. I can totally understand how you can't be arsed to even think about work crap and nor should you. Lots of love to you joy

critter I can't believe that I was on the original thread. Like mrsd said I was definitely more upset & anxious back at the start. I think that latterly there has been some acceptance. Like you mrsd I see the IVF as "calling it a day". I don't expect it to work (perhaps several cycles might but that's not an option) and see it as a necessary thing. Almost like a big fat marker pen to draw a massive line under things as well as something to salve my conscience in the years to come and help me to sleep at night knowing that I did everything I possibly could. I was chatting to MrP last night and we are both on the same page that it is time to call it quits. As much as I admire them, I also don't want to be one of the ladies I read posts from on here, who have been TTC for 9 years and the like.

seaview I read with interest what you said about the TTC for 3 years and the success rate dropping to 2%. It shock me rigid actually and confirmed what I knew in my heart. Interestingly, my gynae said that they only start to worry after the 3 year mark. I guess after all these cycles it is very unlikely that it will just happen. Why now but not all those other times?

doll any news with you? When are you due to test? Praying & hoping for you too

Oh Joy. Adding my wishes to the miracle gang. How many weeks post EC are you? AFAIK 2 weeks post EC is the earliest they would be able to see a heartbeat but it must be absolutely gutting to be having all those appointments and bloods and still have to wait and see. You must be like a pincushion by now. I think you need to get signed off work. It is traumatic enough getting IVF results when you get a straight answer either way, but you are in a particular kind of hell and the last thing you need is people mithering you with trivia - and everything is trivial compared to this. Princess and Mrsden are right, you need some time out for you and Roy to look after yourselves, whatever the outcome turns out to be. Big hugs xx

Euro two lines!!!!! That's brilliant. A line is a line, as mrsden says. I'm keeping things crossed for you. It will take a while to sink in. I'm still getting my head around it 12 weeks on. But for now -

Doll how are you? The last few days of the 2ww are the pits. Are you waiting to Thursday to test? Thinking of you.

Big worky waves to everyone else. I'll catch up properly tomorrow - for now I have idiots to deal with stuff to do.

Oh joy :(. There are no words. Only hand squeezes and strong shoulders. It might still be ok, but I can see the bloods aren't giving much hope. I will still fervently keep my fingers crossed that one or both beans make it through. You must be exhausted.