TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

[akuabadoll]

buzzy it's really not at all common to TTC and do an adoption process, as you know you certainly couldn't do it openly. Actually I saw a thread on the same subject if you are interested recently.

Hi pout at least normal service has resumed here

[akuabadoll]

[shocked] all the 'interesting' posts have been deleted. How will we explain to the 10 plussers who missed it??

[sarlat]

I am also able to confirm that Gail is Viv. I diplomaticaly disagreed with comments on another thread recently. Viv / Gail, if you are reading this, I hope things work out for you, I really do but I think you might need to consider how you approach / respond to comments. And I genuinly mean that in a nice way.

OOO I love odd days off work like Tuesday monrings. Its an alien world that I don't belong to. And if feels like a discovary.

Euro - don't feel sad, feel glad. You stepped up to the challenge and you are doing great. The 2ww is a draggy time from the land that stood still. Not fun. So symptoms have dissapeared? Do you normally get these symptoms? You previously mentioned scratchy womb feelings - now in my very humble opinion and based on when I was really pregnant, that is implantation. I wonder if it may be worthwhile having a second lap? I am assuming you had a hsg which I guess was clear? But could you be like me and have mild endo with no symptoms? Or maybe something else minor which could be corrected? Just some food for thought as it sounds like the sperm and eggs are able to meet and float down the tube / in the petri dish but some chemical interaction is interfering. Were you ever offered a lap? Sorry your friend is also going through IVF - no pressure, hey? Its great that you have been pre-warned. But none of this means that this cycle worn't work out - lots and lots of hope for you, I promise. And my final thought of the day - have you ever heard of 'early pregnancy factor'. Sorry for just introducing everyone to more unhelpful menkuling. It is a chemical that newly fertilised eggs / ovaries give off before implantation and studies show its presence at 2 - 3 dpo is linked to pregnancy outcomes. I wonder if that accounts for some of the symptoms you have been getting around 2-3dpo?

Rabbit - gosh my lovely - what a head spinner. Lots to think about. Let me let out a big shouty scream along side you. And now may I offer you a bite of my hazelnut kit kat? Hope that feels better? IVF or clomid for 6 months - now never having been a clomid chick myself I am not up on its magical properties. Is there strong evidence that it works for women who already ovulate? Other ladies here have suggested that it may not be a helpful option. I can understand why you wanted to dabble with it though for just 3 months. I guess the research points to 6 months being the average success rate then? I think in your shoes I would ask myself this - why don't I want IVF yet - is it because my instincts are strongly telling me I don't need IVF? Or is it because I am upset / scared (who wouldn't be) by the procedure. I think when you have that answer, you may start to build a plan of action. I know you may not think I am making much sense but this is sort of how (on reflection) delt with things. For example, the first horrible consultant diagnosed me with 2 blocked tubes and felt any surgery would likely result in 1 if not both tubes out. The HSG and my own medical history said otherwise and I clung on to that instinct and refused to allow her to operate. Fast forward a few months to the nice new consultant, we talked about lap in a diagnostic way and with out the pressure to give consent for tubal removal. Only when these conditions were met that satisfied what my instincts were telling me was I prepared to have the op - and the results have been beneficial. I hope I am not suggesting to reflect on something that you already are doing (apologies if I am) but I think knowing the root cause of wanting IVF / not wanting IVF enables better decisons and less dilema internally. If your instincts tell you don't need IVF, then approach other options. For me, I was OK with IVF as I felt it would up my chances but didn't want to be without natural chances and this was always the sticking point for me - to remove tubes / not to remove tubes, it drove me insane. Did you tell your consultant about the chemical pregnancy? Did he offer any suggestions as to why you are not yet pregnant? Did you have the spotting pre - big op? Why are they suddenly so interested in it now? I know the fear of the scan is awful when they check stuff out. I very much doubt they will find a new blob. Did your mum have spotting when she was your age? It could be a normal thing too. How are you feeling today about everything? Really feel for you. If I am talking utter bollicks, please feel free to ignose. But I so want you to be happy - you 100% deserve to be.

Euro and Rabbit - sorry for all the questions - you know I am a daft old bat

Gin - are you a little better honey - remember you are my FET hommie!

Went to the clinic yesterday to get the FET ball rolling again. We nearly fell off our chairs as we met a nice nurse who listened and allowed me to have a moan and was positive and lovely and everything. She has actually had IVF herself. She now has 2 childern following 4 rounds of IVF. She was only given a 5% success rate due to her age she said. I have no ideas how old she is. Straight away she discussed a natural FET cycle. Again I was shocked. Her response was "why wouldn't you do a natural cycle" and in her opinion the results (once the embryo is thawed and deemed developing again) are negligible between medicated and natural - hooray. She also worked out a work friendly timetable for having scans. Just not use to this type of care. Then we did a baseline scan. I was 5 dpo yesterday (ideal time to scan as it will be about this time next month when (hopefully, please God) an embie gets popped back. My linning was 10mm and the left ovary had a cyst from the ruptured egg. In fact it was swollen rather than deflated at 19.7 mm so classed as a corpus leteum cyst which I understand to be harmless. The nurse also agreed that stage 1 tubal disease did not mean natural conception is not a possibility - but does take longer.

Today (6dpo) I have felt odd indeed. Had strong ovary pains for the last few days and some stingy and quick womb feelings. I have also had an achey womb for the last 2 hours. I am not getting ahead of myself. Althought this feels a bit new and quite strong, I am now aware that I have a much larger ovary cyst than I normally have and I am on my first post lap cycle - so things are bound to feel mixed up. Its also too early for implantation I think. Anyhow, trying not to be too menkul.

Hello to all - enjoy the weekend.

[buzzybee123]

how do you all know it is the same person ??? viv/gail ???

sar implantation is usually around this time dpo 6-7 so you never know, glad you had a good appointment, it makes such a difference when you deal with a helpful friendly person :)

[EuroShagmore]

pout it sounds you have the same drugs combo that i tried back in the summer - burserelin to downreg and then the gonal f pens to stim (although I never got that far). I found them very simple to use. I did it by myself for the first couple of days and then got Mr Euro to prep the injection, mainly to make him feel involved in the process, so it didn't just seem like the IVF was something I was doing.

madness I can imagine the chemists around here being a bit like that on weekdays...

sarlat thanks for your thoughts. I had never heard of early pregnancy factor - will go away and frantically google look. I was never offered a lap, but I have often wondered about endo. I had enormously painful and pretty heavy periods for years (bizarrely better since ttc). Maybe it is something I should look into doing privately, although given my terror of being put under, it would require some strength. 10 mins for EC was bad enough!

Natural FET sounds great. Regardless of the outcome of this cycle, I am convinced that natural IVF has merits. Why put your body through more than it needs to go through? That nurse sounds amazing.

I reckon the post-ov ovary twinges are the follies/corpus lutuem shrinking. I get them too. But they are nowhere near as strong as what must be the growing twinges leading up to ov.

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

buzzy Gail has been deleted now so not easy to show you! When viv first joined us I got the impression from some other threads that she was prone to name changing and saying things to get a response from people. Some of the stuff she was posting here was pretty outlandish I thought as well. Made me question how honest she was being. When gail turned up today I did a search for all of the posts under that name and she was on another thread saying that she had name changed because she'd been banned. I think she's just attention seeking and itching for a fight . Oh well - all back to normal mundane loveliness now

[buzzybee123]

ah I don't look at many other threads although I do like the AIBU ones and I didn't realise you could search peoples post bit of a techno phobe yes she did say some um interesting things, back to normal it is then

[mrsden]

You're a super sleuth madness!

I sometimes wish we could pull up the drawbridge and make this a private group. I don't really like it that there will be lots of people reading but not posting. I was never an Internet poster type person until I was so desperate to chat to others going through this. I love this group, but not the public sharing aspect.

Rabbits, I can't offer any useful advice on your dilemma im afraid, Clomid has never been an option for us, I guess it depends on whether you're ready for ivf and all it entails.

I'm so tired, off to bed now. I'll try and post over the weekend. Waves to all.

[rabbitonthemoon]

I am finished wth my rather shitty, long commute fortnight. Huzzah! We have been out for wine and tea and I'm glad to be home and working locally for the foreseeable future.

I'm so thankful for this thread and your help with my initial mental about options. After a think and talks it is my decision to pass up clomid and take my nhs ivf round which has been provisionally accepted, clear scan, tests etc to be confirmed. I have, with the hep of peanut butter and hot chocolate, gained 4 pounds this month!!!! So fingers crossed fsh is within boundaries. It is not likely to be anywhere near 4-6 weeks as I want to elect for a particular clinic with my pct, which will take time. I also need the tests and am away in march. So, most likely we are looong at June July and that is good with me. I have no idea why I can't self fund IUI in April/may but will be pursuing that with pct too. I don't think clomid is right for me. I want immune testing as my recurrent viral illnesses at implantation that vsnish with my period and allergies raise concerns that I'd like, for peace of mind, to follow up. I did mention I had a positive test day 35 and my cons said it counted for nothing. Which felt a bit poo, given it is the nearest I've been to creating anything.

sar I am wishing this to be your time. I do not want to fuel mental but a good friend of ours conceived after 4 years after removal of minor endo on the first cycle. It happens.

critter I second that you are sunshiny about your long cycles, it must be challenging. We might end up being cycle buddies. Though I'd bet on your horse over my lame mule!

euro you just can't tell. I'm so sorry a friend is cycling at the same time as you. But she won't be able to tell either, though I'd do exactly what you're doing and presume shed do it. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's not over yet.

Today on here has thrown me. I dashed in, during a moment at work to advise what I thought was a stranger with a slightly deluded idea about what a lap entailed. I log back in tonight to find it was viv, and that her posts have been deleted. If this is true, I think you've all been rather restrained as I feel quite pissed off by it. In this thread (and not elsewhere on MN I must say, if I choose to post in aibu I deserve what I get) but HERE is my safe place in the world.I've never been made to feel unwelcome, only treated with kindness and respect. And I've give the same back. I am quite shocked that someone who had talked here for a while would pull such a trick and I'm glad the posts have been removed, whatever they said. A laparoscopy is surgery. It hurts. It fills your body cavity with gas that can't escape. You have stitches. I couldnt roll over in bed or lie on my stomach. You bleed, and in my case, you find out shocking news. Maybe for some, sex after all of this is OK. Bt for the majority of women it wouldn't be, as it wouldn't be after and erpc. I think it is grossly insensitive to suggest that this is about being 'Hardcore' what the fuck does that mean anyway. As you can tell, this has made me cross. And I don't care if this post causes you offence, you've been well cared for here and it feels trampled on.

And breathe. I've missed people. I will double check this over sheepfile x

[rabbitonthemoon]

Cross post with madness and mrsden. It has made me !

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Sorry rabbit. I don't like to see you upset . This is still a safe place but we need to be aware that it's public and not everyone will share our views. I think dealing with a few wing nuts is worth it for all of the advice and support that I get from the rest of you lovelies

Well done for making a decision on ivf!!! June/July is a good timeframe to get your head around it properly and we'll be here to hand hold and offer you an ivf trophy (medals for a lap, definitely need some trophies for ivf!)

[mrsden]

Rabbit, I feel the same. This is a supportive, kind thread. Us regulars are only ever helpful and understanding. This is our safe place. No room for wind ups.

I found the lap to be a Real trauma. I'm not over it yet. It was not a little op for me.

[sarlat]

I have been cross with some of Viv's comments for a few weeks - but I tend to be overly diplomatic in case I have the wrong end of the stick. But based on todays comments (what I think has been said) and how this has made you lovely ladies feel...I am very .
Not acceptable at all.


Den - I agree that the lap and all it entails IS a big deal. I also dread to think what the infection risks are by dtd the day after. Sorry you have been feeling a little bit horrible.

Rabbit - I like your plan. I am pleased you are comfy with your decision. I would say the past BFP is significant - you know you can get to blasto stage at least. Take medical advice but mix that with your own internal wisdom is what I say. Glad you have time away to do nice things.

Madness - hope thinks are settling down for you with symptoms and drugs leading up to IVF.

Nelly - interesting about the spotting. Hope things settle down.

Euro - let me know what your findings are.

[buzzybee123]

pout oh that sounds good, some women had to mix things together which sounded like a faff, I'm hoping for straight up shoot them up, I wasn't offended about the comment, I just thought it was an odd thing to mention and that it was the sort of comment that would get a response, she always sounded unhinged to me to be honest and I did read her comments on the 40+ sight

doll the joy of going overseas for IVF is that they are less likely to know

rabbit I did wonder what had happened to her and I did think it was a bit odd that she didn't sort of make any introductions when she came as Gail but don't let her bother you. Sounds like a good plan for you :)

[Poutintrout]

Buzzy Do you know when you will be starting your IVF cycle? It would've been good to have a cycle buddy

mrsd I am sorry to hear that you are feeling the effect of your lap still. I really do wonder whether some surgeons are more skilled than others when it comes to these things.

sarlat you totally amaze me with how much you know about all this. The early pregnancy factor is really very interesting. It is nice to think that maybe, perhaps not everything has been in my head, over thinking or wishful thinking.

madness Am uber impressed at your sleuthing

rabbit I'm so glad that you have come to a decision that is right for you. Good for you with the weight gain though I am a little alarmed when I read how you did it. I have been drinking cocoa and eating Reeses Peanut Butter Cups all week

I'm really sorry that some of you are so shaken by the interloper. I suppose I had also forgotten that this is a public forum and any number of people can be reading and, in this case posting. It is a shame this has happened and I really hope it doesn't change the dynamic of the thread or God forbid mean that we lose some of you ladies. Battens down the hatches and will only allow people to leave who have a positive piss stick I know it might sound strange and obviously some people like viv don't get it, respect it, or realise just how this thread saved my sanity but I see here as a place I chat to my friends - real people, with real feelings. It is quite astonishing that somebody can get bizarre kicks from "playing" on a thread of this nature.
mrsd Like you the public nature of the Fred bothers me sometimes too. From time to time I remember it's a public forum and worry about being too candid or revealing too many details about my life when really my inclination is to over share and bore you all senseless with every little detail

[buzzybee123]

pout I have to call 2 months before my cycle starts so beginning of March, thats when they'll give me my regime, but actual EC is booked for the 6th May, it would be nice to have a buddy though

[Poutintrout]

Oh bugger buzz I'm a little bit ahead of you. That's a shame we won't be in synch. Though apparently, if I have embryos left over, I get a funded frozen cycle so maybe we might still be cycle buddies yet

[TheMidnightHour]

Hello,

I've been swearing to myself I'd delurk and find some people to talk to about all this for a while... and then I always thing that maybe this month will be it so I don't... and then it isn't. Anyway, I saw about encouraging delurking and I thought I would try it. I don't know if you will think I am right for your thread, so I will waffle a bit and if you say push off, off I will push.

I'm 29, he's 31 ("young" "don't worry" "these things take time"). Been TTC for over a year (picking NYE to start trying makes remembering dates easy) but as we are temporarily (probably, sort of, it's been six months and it's complicated) living away from the UK we haven't had any sort of doctor's visits, apart from a 'fertility MOT' (private) before we left which assured us the basics were OK (sperm, ovaries in place, ovulation had occurred). We're also living on savings so don't really have the cash for OPKs, tests, etc so although I'm all for throwing some science at the problem, what I've got is observation, shagging and a thermometer - I've just started temp charting this cycle, which means I'm probably about a month and a half out from realising I'm doing it wrong and starting over.

This last year has been really rough (for reasons not due to TTC), & I feel like we're trapped, handcuffed by circumstance and tied down by TTC as it means that pretty much everything I want to do (beyond 'stay up too late reading MN') is ruled out by one or the other.(Actually I think one of the TTC tips was get plenty of sleep? ) So I am grouchy! And hopeful! And sure it will never happen, and weepy because babies are so cute and I'll never have one but this time is the charm so let's have sex right now... all at once. Fun times.

Anyway, thank you for the thread, it cheers me up to know that I'm not alone, the path is well (if unwillingly) trodden and there are kind people along the way.

[akuabadoll]

hi midnight you are welcome and may your stay but short (because you happily hop off to a board to talk about pregnancy and babies, of course). There are lovely ladies here, many of whom had been here for a good while and know each other well, you will get alot of support. You may have seen there was a bit of a wobble on this thread yesterday caused by a new person/name changer reminding that this board is a public place, please play nice

Do you have a fertility friend account? Use it for temping and recording all manner of observations to drive yourself crazy (the free account is easily good enough) There are free online 'tutorials' there too. Sorry if you know all this. Also if you can order from amazon where you are, you could consider some cheapo OPKs - you can get 50 for 6 quid or so? Something like that. Unless your cycles are crazy, 50 should be 6 cycles worth or so. Anyway, just little things that may help.

Good weekend all.

[akuabadoll]

stay be short

[princesschick]

WTAF was going on yesterday. I was actually reading and thinking who's this weirdo who's just turned up for advice and then started lashing out. It was all a bit AIBU rather than lovely 10 + behaviour. Lemon and Buzzy sorry you ladies seem to have bigger the brunt of it. I didn't have time to post as I was caught up in some work stuff but was going to get involved because we didnt DTD after either MC for some time a) because I was grieving and b) because of the risk of infection and c) because I'm
clearly not "hardcore"

Rabbit I think you're right to be i didn't see it turn nasty and came back to see loads of deleted posts. It is a safe place here. I think "that" poster has some very serious issues - it shone out of previous posts which made me feel very uncomfortable and actually stopped me posting here. Please don't let one disturbed person ruin it for you. I think you're a fan bunch and the fact that she was challenged, presumably reported and sent on her ways says loads. I hope you're ok. I can't believe they threw 6 months of clomid or straight to IVF at you - what a massive decision. I'm glad that you've decided and hope that a BFP turns up in the interim :-) I was sorry to read about your ED the other week and I very much doubt that you have damaged yourself. As you say you have loads of EWCM, regular periods and you are super healthy now. You're time will come.

Euro and Doll I've got fingers crossed on both hands - euro you get my left and doll my right - that they'll be valentine BFPs on the thread next week :-) As for symptoms, I had none in the 2ww of this pregnancy but I did have some in previous ones. There are tonnes of people who have no symptoms from conception to popping the thing out - bar the massive tummy. So don't go worrying about symptoms now - you never know and look what happened to the lovely joy. I really hope this is it for you two. If it is, I'll virtually sing the cheesy boyz 2 men "and now we've come...to the end of the road..." song because that's what I think about this thread and being up the duff and having TTC over with. I always think we should do best bits like the end of big brother.

As you can tell I'm AWAKE early but in a waffley, cotton wool brain mode.

Critter your poem retreats always sound amazing. There are some lectures over here at the School of Life that I'd like to do but we have the bastard house to finish. We're off to Paris in a few weeks though. So mustn't complain.

Muddy I am HERE! All deluked and name checking and everything! Really I haven't bothered because I have no exciting news unless I tell you about bargain hunting furniture online and mr P reversing into a lovely young lady (really want to say chav but can't bring myself to...oh... I just did ) in the van in an IKEA car park we hired to pick up our new second hand Falcon Range last weekend. Hope the post wedding come down isn't too bad.

Sar good luck in your au natural with spring cleaned tubes 2ww. I have my right foot toes crossed for you :-) I'm glad you stuck to your guns. Our instincts are powerful and if I go against my gut Its almost always the wrong thing to do for me - even if I can be disproven by the rational thought of others. Glad your new job is going well too.

MrsD I'm glad they got you sorted but really sorry the op was an ordeal.

Pout hope you are ok. Your box of drugs sounds a bit scary but I like the one thing at a time approach and the hiding behind the salad crumble When do you start? I've been looking at lots of bits of furniture ripe for up cycling this week (I have my own power tool now - a detail sander and have cut my up cycling teeth on our old, old wooden wood worm ravaged stairs - kitchen table - pah! Easy!) and thought of you (in
a completely non weirdo way) whilst I was doing it. How is your craft empire?

Can I also add for IVF ladies that my aunt had 2 failed rounds where they couldn't collect any eggs (she was about 37 ) and was told by the consultant that they would give it one more go but he didn't think there was any hope. She didn't get to round three as she feel naturally. They suspect the drugs stimulated everything. As my whole family helpfully pointed out in my down days - keep shagging - yeah cos I hadn't thought of that myself :) (it always felt a bit Ron Burgandy "stay classy" but there we go)

Right waves to you all. You're all fabulous and if I spot any dirty play I'll join in with the shooing next time. No one upsets my 10 plus ladies Sorry I wasn't around when it turned nasty yesterday xxxx

[princesschick]

I'll apologise for the appalling typos in my post - on my phone - dammit! X

[EuroShagmore]

Welcome midnight.

I hope you will find this a nice supportive thread. We are all a little rattled by some posts yesterday. We all expose a lot of our own vulnerability on here, which is why I think a few antagonist posts have left a mark. Hopefully by the end of the day they will all be forgotten.

I'm Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...

[EuroShagmore]

princess I hope you are doing fine and that project up cycling goes well. Have you moved out of the IL's place yet?

[princesschick]

Nope. We're still here. Gritting teeth. The kitchen floor is in, the bathroom floor going in tomorrow and all finished and grouted next week. Then we can get the god damn shower in. Another 3 weeks here I reckon. 6 months living with the in laws is too much. I'm at the "acceptance" stage now...