TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

oh Euro euro , i'm terribly sorry. i was so hoping today would bring other news. But you sound like you have a very healthy attitude today. I know it didn't work out but it is incredibly impressive that from one egg and day 2 transfer you got pregnant. This must give you great hope.
My GP did know i was pregnant as i phoned her a month ago and asked whether she could refer me to the EPAU after my scan because my hcg levels suggested things weren't going well. But then i saw heartbeats so i didn't need to speak to her again. (I was going to register my pregnancy this week. Thankfully i never got to my appointment). My epau doesn't take self referrals so i have to go through my gp.
If you come off the cyclogest, you may find it all happens naturally. Everyone is different but personally I think this is the best option. I've also come off my gestone and cyclogest but not sure anything is budging. It could take weeks or it may not happen.
i've asked how i should manage it on FF actually. And I think I may opt for an ERPC. But i know complications can arise from this. I fear though that letting it happen naturally will just prolong things and even then there can still be retained products. But we really need to get karotyping done on our beans and our clinic can do this (the nhs won't with 2 mc) but i have to find someway of retaining them so we can get them karotyped. If i have to do this myself through a natural m/c then i think i would find it a bit too traumatic. [sorry it's all a bit grim talk]
I've got an appt first thing tomorrow at St Mary's and hopefully they can advise me. I hope you can get in to see yours soon to get some advice.
I'm just so sorry you are in this position as well.

Joy - sorry you are going through this. You are such a brave lady.
St Marys are pretty good. I had cycle monitoring there for 2 years. I hope they take good care of you. xx

Sea - we obviously traipse around the same places. i know St Marys well too and had a few monitoring cycles up there. Lovely times. And that's such a bonus how close you are to the Argy. I met people who had to drive for several hours every day to get there. others I met had moved to London from other countries.

joy if you want to have the genetic testing done then I agree that erpc sounds like the sensible option. I'm so sorry you're having to think about all this

Hi all - what brave women we have on this thread. We've had a lot of bad luck lately and you're all dealing with it fantastically. Here's to it being nearly spring and new hope.

euro I'm so sorry. You're dealing with this amazingly well, and as you say, it's awesome that you got this far and it sounds like you just had bad luck this time - common in normals, but hard for us 10 plussers to take when it takes us so long to get to this stage. I think it's great that you're already looking ahead and thinking about cycle two. We'll be here to hand hold.

joy I'm sorry about your horrible colleague, how bloody stressful on top of everything else. You are in the eye of the storm at the moment. Stay strong, you're such a special person and I truly believe you and Roy are going to make amazing parents. I'm sorry this shitfest happened to you.

sar thinking of you today and sending much love your way.

midnight add me to the crisp-lover rosta. I am a salt n' vinegar girl but I'll hoover up any flavour, really

Back in a mo... just realised I have a work call.

sea I don't know so probably not. I'll ask my doctor next time I see him

[goes off to google NK cells]

Sea -sorry you don't think this cycle has worked again.

Euro - sorry it was bad news but I think you have the right attitude. You and joy have both jumped many hurdles so there is lots of hope for the future.

Joy -any luck with epau?

Well the third embryo did thaw and was deemed to be expanding, but slowly. It is classed as 1bb so not top quality but not dreadful either. incredibly the first embryo which was deteriorating perked up a bit although still very poor quality and only went back in because I asked for that as I wanted to give it a chance, which I know may seem silly.

So I have 1 ok blasto and 1 poor blasto on board. Transfer was difficult again which is a shame as surgery was trying to help correct that.

After a very stressful morning, I am very grateful to have 2 embies on board, as doll often says " it is what it is ".We are planning more or less to forget about it now as I just dont need to put extra pressure on myself.

I apologise in advance if I post a little less during the next 2 weeks. Me and dh have just scoffed the wispa egg -was well yum.

Luffs to you all

oooh Sar good news about numero uno perking up. fingers crossed for your 2ww.

sar not silly at all that you wanted to give your other little embie a chance. Fantastic news that it had perked up, and well done you for getting through the transfer with sanity intact. Remember that art's embies were 'average' and one very wise lady here, I forget who, might even have been you, said 'average makes the world go round'. You have done everything you can and now is the time to sit back, relax, and let your body take over. Good luck for this next 2ww and of course totally understand wanting to take some time away to try to take your mind off things.

mrsd one step at a time, as you say. I remember doll telling me that the run up to an IVF cycle is bloody stressful and it's true. It's hard not to worry. I hope your AF turns up on time.

rabbit I'd be pissed off too about being told the wrong thing. Do you think you'll go for the IUI or will you still go for IVF?

madness sorry you're having a frustrating time at work on top of everything else. Can only reiterate as I did to mrsd that this is a nervous-making time, the period in the run-up to IVF. I have definitely been more fretful and listless over the past week or so and I'm sure it's because it's looming over us. Be gentle to yourself and enjoy that curry, you're doing lots of walking, don't be hard on yourself!

gin amazing - you published a book! That's an amazing achievement and something to be truly proud of.

nelly at the gaviscon chewables.

pout great that you have a good egg crop. Am cheering you on for EC. Can't believe it's right around the corner!

sea what a bloody long slog for you. It sucks that this is such a long and shitty process for so many of us.

Thinking of you euro and joy.

Hope everyone else is ok. My mum is visiting this weekend and I can't wait - we're going to go to Ikea. MrC hates it so my mother will be a much better furniture-shopping companion!

euro sorry Barry didn't make it :( But the natural ivf has worked once for you and I am sure it will work again. I think it's amazing that it kinda worked 1st time, as success rates are so low, and it does seem to be the solution for you. You and mr e have made a brave decision and I hope everything is ok as it can be over the next few days.

Hurrah for the 2 embies onboard sar! Great news, even if it sounds like a pretty hideous day. Keep busy and try to stay happy and relaxed and come back and let us know how it goes.

My BIG fear is that our frostie won't make it to transfer. It was a grade 2 by day 3 and a bit of a slow un, not being frozen until day 6, but we have to give it a go I guess.

joy sorry to hear things aren't moving along. Having tests sound like a good idea and may give you some answers/help to rule things out. Thinking of you.

pout that sounds like a super crop of eggs! Pah to being near the age limit. When will you know for sure when EC is?

Thanks for all the nice comments about the tome. rabbit I love the idea of making this year about creating things. I think I need something to distract me from the ttc madness and am investigating some short courses in growing things.

Waves and luffs to all. Just a quick train post. mrsd any sign of af? None here, although the cramps are getting worse, so hopefully soon. In 2.5 years of ttc, I have never so wanted my period to arrive!

X post critter. Enjoy ikea! Dave hates it too and refuses to go

euro I am sorry that the scan wasn't good news. I was really hoping for the miracle that you deserve. Your attitude to this is inspiring. Everything you say is right & there are positives to take from all this. I think that joycep hit the nail on the head when she said about how positive it was to have a day two embie that implanted on a first natural cycle. It is still thoroughly shite & unfair though and I am thinking of you.

joy I can't imagine the place you are in right now but you being so brave. It is sad that you have had to ask people on the internet about what happens next & are having to chase your GP. Have you managed to get any advice from your clinic or GP yet?

sarlat I am so pleased that your third embie looks good and that the first put in a last minute sprint Sit back and relax and let everything bed in. Lots of luck to you.

seaview I hope that MrS is wrong. When are you due to test? Gawd at "helpful" MIL. I really am agog sometimes at how people don't know how to react to fertility issues at all & get it so spectacularly wrong.

x-posted

critter I am so envious of you Ikea trip. I bloody love that place so much it isn't right so much so I actually fantasise about emigrating to Sweden What furniture do you need to get? [nosey smiley]

gin cheers on your period The whole frozen cycle thing sounds nerve wracking.
Growing things sounds intriguing!
EC is scheduled for Monday but I wonder if the scan tomorrow will have any bearing on whether that date will stay the same or not. I am wholly ignorant of the process really

mrsd I missed that your period is still AWOL. 6whispers that it would be fantastic if this was your time^

Just reading back and saw that you don't think the iui has worked sea. I'm really sorry to hear that and v much hope you are wrong! You have had a hard month, so do be kind to yourself. Frannie on here had iui success but it was after a few goes I think and medicated. It can happen!

nellie I do so hope you are right re preggo brain. at the peas.

Argh right at train stop now

euro I am so sorry that things don't seem to be progressing, this is just so fucking unfair. The closure on this must feel so difficult to grasp. I feel frustrated at the moment that we all don't know each other in rl and live close by for brews and shoulders. I've been talking to you lot for a long time now and probably more than I do to my actual mates. Big hug, there is a lot of positive here and I'm glad you are feeling that.

sar I'm cheering on your 'bros! Don't worry about the transfer, they are in and that is all that matters. Didn't doll have a tricky 2nd transfer? Eat chocolate eggs and look after yourself.

joy sorry you've had to seek the advice of ff but I've found them better than the nhs many many times, they are knowledgable and dedicated ladies. Being in limbo and having to decide how to proceed must be so so tough. My heart goes out to you and Roy.

gin god periods are annoying arent they!? It's like they are mean to us far more than they should be.

pout yay for the egglets. I hope you are feeling ok with it all. Piping was almost scary! It looks nice though and made me feel proud patchwork wasn't too bad actually, it was all about getting the seam dead on a quarter of an inch and using those rulers for measuring, like quilting ones. Once it's all dead straight and measured right, it comes together really well. I told my students about it and they looked not me as if I was an ancient granny hag!! You could get cute fabric for the dog throw, I saw a nice one with little bones on it.

mrsden do you feel pmt? There are sperm - it does happen!

sea sorry you feel IUI hasn't worked. I have NO expectation it will work but for some reason I still want to do it and no regrets is important. You did what felt right at the time and it has been some of the stepping stones on this journey. For me, I want to use it as diagnostical, to look at sperm, eggs, my cycle and importantly for me, to see if they can actually get a tube through my cervix, which has been impossible prior to my dilation. So thinking of it as induction to ivf with a small increase in fertility chances feels ok to me. Fsh results dependent though.

critter your post is directly responsible for the bag of bright orange Doritos I consumed earlier not the pmt.

I have EVIL pmt today and have felt the urge to hit people. Day two of bright red spotting but no period. This means that I am poised for cd2/3 to be on a weekend so fsh testing will not work. I had a tiny cry to my mum about how this is the third mothers days where I've been trying to become a mum. Jeez. Ttc warps time. It feels long but age and length of trying races by. Two week waits and appointment waits crawl by but my periods seem to come round again and again

evening ladies

euro I am so so sorry it is not good news for you, you're a strong lady and you'll get their

joy its a tough decision to make, there are risk either way. My first was a natural miscarriage, the last 2 were ERPC, although they perforated my uterus I found it easier to deal with,

mrsd it does sound promising

critter snap we are going to Ikea this weekend Barry can't wait

pout its all so close now :)

sar finges crossed for your little two

nelly oooh

sea ignore MIL, I hope Mr S is wrong

gin hope AF arrives soon for you to get on with AF

well work has been stressful so think i might need an early night

Morning lovely ladies!

So busy on here. And largely in a miserable way. So sorry euro the news was not better yesterday. Brave to quit the cyclogest and fingers crossed stuff will happen naturally.

Joy a friend of mine who had a natural mc and ivf-twins mc managed to claim this was three failed embryos and thus qualified for the mc-tests on the NHS. It may be worthwhile trying that line in StMary's today. It might save some money and you've put in enough, financially and emotionally. Have a big hug. Oh and BRRRR about the snake-man overhearing your conversation :(

Keeping everything crossed for you embies sar. Let them nestle nicely while you have fun with MrS.

Sorry you feel negative about the IUI free and that MrSea feels the same. SB is not keen on IUIs anymore either, whereas I find it hard to move to the next stage, since I did get pregnant once. Btw that was on SO by injectables plus IUI. I have heard not much good about clomid + IUI. Either way we're off on hollobobs in 2 weeks, so won't be doing any AC until the end of April, at the earliest. Rabbit I opted for natural IUI for the first few goes, as I was not ready for injectables, but now I would not go back to that stage...

Massive good luck with everything pout. Not long now! Despite your age, you are doing very well .

Well done on the creating going on here - jealous. I seem to focus on creating work stuff, hence my regular absences. But it seems to go well, which is good as I have my appraisal next week.

Have fun at IKEA this weekend buzz and critter. SB is away most of it, so I am planning and plotting my own fun. Not gotten further than sleeping, baking and a sneaky wool shopping expedition...

Right, I better get on with some work!

joy I hope today goes as well as can be expected at the hospital.

euro how are you doing today?

There's been a lot of bad news on this thread recently, but I've realised that I must have missed the good news from doll about the scan. I'm so happy for you, how are you feeling now? Wonderful, wonderful news.

I love that some of you can interpret my lack of af as a good sign. I would also be thinking it was a good sign if it wasn't happening to me! But, we've been at this over 32 months and I've long since stopped associating late af with possible pregnancy. I'm a little pmty today so I think she will turn up soon. It's just flippin typical that when I want her to turn up on time she goes awol. I'll keep you updated

Thinking of you today joy.

Buzzy eek to the perforated uterus! That is one of my fears. Did you recover ok?

mrsd are you not even a teeny bit tempted to pee on a fiver?

critter enjoy IKEA. I might be coming out your way this month as well as next month, but on the first trip I won't have as much say over my own time as on the latter one, but if you were up for it, we could try to a shortish notice meet up?

sar I hope you are doing ok post-ET. When is your test date?

pout you seem to be taking the whole process in your stride.

Gin how are you doing today?

sea sorry things are a bit bleak. How far are you into the 2ww?

doll I hope you are doing ok and are not staying away from the thread on my account. There is absolutely no need. Hopefully you are just busy with little doll and work.

Thanks everyone for all the support. It really has been amazing. Today I just feel a bit flat. I think the hormones are dropping. I am having some very faint cramps, nowhere near as strong as this time last week, but hopefully they will lead to something this time, without the cyclogest in the mix. I have booked an acu session for this afternoon to see if that can help to get things moving.

Sar - that's great news that 2 have gone back in. When I was speaking to the embryologist they said that so many times they have seen less than perfect embryos work and perfect ones that dont. Hope you can keep yourself distracted for the next 2 weeks.

Critter - it must be so exciting to have your mum come and visit. Have a wonderful weekend.

Lemon - the question is did your friend who had those miscarriages ever have a baby?

Rabbit - sorry about the pmt - that totally sucks.

Buzz - Urgh sorry they perforated your uterus. The doc spike to me about that. Did it heal ok?

Euro - hope you are ok. Are you going to the EPAu or are you going to see if things take a natural cause. I guess feeling flat could be a sign of things dropping.

Well spent the morning at hospital. They were brilliant. I couldn't fault the nurse and doctor we saw. I am booked in for Monday for an erpc. As it is a mmc the only other option I was given was medical management but it would take 2 weeks. So best to get it done quickly. Also they are counting it as 2 miscarriages (which she sneaking put through) Which now makes 3 which means we are getting crytogenetic testing on the fetuses. The nurse also came and got us and put us in a private room and told us she was removing us from the waiting room as we were sitting amongst pregnant people and new borns. It was unbelievably thoughtful of her.
They took blood because I think I am rhesus negative so will need a jab for that too.

I was warned several times that I won't feel this cheery for long. I am a bit concerned that I have been relatively good humoured through this and so am expecting some hormonal crash/breakdown soon once my body stops producing pregnancy hormones. We had a birth announcement in the hospital - gay friends - Roy and I were laughing at the ridiculousness of our situation.

joy I think you're dealing with this magnificently, and I'm so glad that you had such good, thoughtful and kind care from the nurse - she sounds lovely. It's great that she's putting it through as two miscarriages (as it effectively is) so you'll get the tests done. And I'm glad you're booked in so soon. I am rhesus negative too - is Roy rhesus positive? You may well have a hormonal crash, this is a huge amount to deal with, but you're managing amazingly well.

euro oh I am sorry you're feeling flat. Again, you've been amazing at coping with this awful time. I'd love to see you if you're out earlier - I'm away the week after Easter, but otherwise here and would absolutely love to spend some time with you. Let me know your dates when you have a chance. Hope the acu helps this afternoon!

pout how was the scan today? Can't believe EC is Monday - hurrah! You must feel nervous and excited. I am nervous and excited for you, in fact! On the Ikea front - am going to buy a desk, and maybe some bookshelves from Ikea, so I can make myself a little poetry-writing corner in our spare bedroom. Oh and folding chairs. We have four beautiful family heirloom chairs that are also really uncomfortable and delicate, and creak terrifyingly if anyone heavier than about six stone sits on them. I've invited my friend for dinner on Tuesday, and her boyfriend is 6'7" and must weigh 15 stone at least. So I'm going to get some sturdy cheapy chairs.

mrsd and gin have the eagles landed yet? Must be so frustrating, the one time you do actually want it to arrive!

lemon ooh - a wool shopping expedition sounds fab! Are you making anything new?

rabbit I love bright orange Doritos. I totally relate to the weird time thing you talked about. It does whip past, and crawl at the same time. It's strange. I hope you're feeling better and that your period has either decided to make an appearance or at least stopped giving you PMT! The IVF thing is strange. I am now really keen to just get on with it, but I also totally relate to the whole feeling ready thing. In fact I don't even know if I'm 'ready' for it now, but I don't want the status quo to continue, if you see what I mean!

buzz I hope your early night helped. Nearly the weekend!

I have had some EWCM the past couple of days . Probably doesn't mean anything - I don't think it's as much as it was last time it happened in December, when I ovulated, and because I've been corralling MrC the past couple of nights just in case, I can't tell if it's leftovers from him or not (sorry for TMI). I'm CD 70 so who knows what's going on up there - I kind of just want to get on with the IVF so when stuff like this happens I'm not confused and stressed by it all and can cheerfully ignore it instead of feeling like I have to have sex just in case I miss the rare boat.

ladies...been in internet free zone...too much bad news with the 10 plussers, deeply deeply unfair. euro and joy my love and wishes to you and my admiration at your strength.

sar well done on the 2 on board, yes my first transfer was perfect, the second one a total, absolute mess. All best wishes to you moving forward pout and critter I've said it before, how you cope with your cycles I just don't know. mrsden and gin any news on the periods? I was driven nuts waiting for my late one, more so on the first cycle as I was downregging, so the longer it took the longer I was downregging, horrid. I hope you can get a move on soon.

Thinking of you all really often. x

oh dear I have a very demanding cat who keeps walking across laptop for attention

joy so they should take you to a private room, it is only common sense that they do, I would have been mortified if they had left you where you were. I have to say the hardest part was when they came to take me to theatre for the erpc, I started to cry as I knew they were going to take my baby away from me, the nurse was great she held my hand and stroked my hair and the porter got me a tissue, you will find that your mood is up and down, its totally natural in this kind of situation, so just look after yourself and if you need time off work then take it. I spoke a lady who also had a mmc and it took 8 weeks for her body to react to what was going on. I will be thinking of you of you Monday.

euro they told me I had a 1 in 350 chance of them perforating my uterus and she said that it had not happened in the 6 months she had worked there my only question when they told me was will this affect me having a baby, I didn't ask anything else, they kept me in over night and gave me IV antibiotics, I have to say it was quite calming to stay and chat to the different women on the ward who in there for other 'women' issues. They were concerned that they might have perforated my bowels at first.
I know some women eat alot and I mean alot of pineapple, maybe just the core?? to help move things along, I hope the acu can help you

mrsd my first preg symptom was very sore boobs, and if the witch hasn't arrived yet then it could be the cycle that it works, positive thinking my dear :)-**

critter I too have that problem about not being sure about left overs, when do you see the clinic,

lemon I have been looking at some craft porn online lately :)

well I haven't poas on any ovulation sticks, I had a quick look at my temp but think we'll have just one shag to be sure.. bloody hell have to stop the cat from having a rampage around the flat

pout if I remember correctly, one of the women on the "egg buddies" thread (Scarlettinspace) is scheduled for EC on Monday, so if you want a cycle buddy you know where to look. It's a small group over there but really lovely.

Happy shagging buzz. Yikes about the perforation! It sounds like you were really unlucky, but I guess any procedure carries risks. There is no way I can face waiting 8 weeks. I think embarryo stopped developing about about 5 and a half weeks. Last weekend was just over 6 weeks and I had quite severe cramps then and I think my body wanted to mc but couldn't quite manage it, so I am in mmc territory too now. I'm hoping stopping the prog plus acu will do something. The timing is really quite tricky as I an supposed to be travelling within Europe for a couple of days next week (but will cancel if I have to) and then I'm away for a week in the US. I guess I could give it until I am back from the US and go for surgery at that point if it hasn't started naturally. Sorry - am rambling as I think things through.

Critter I am very amused by the sturdy chair purchasing! I'll PM you re: dates. EWCM you say....?

joy it sounds like you were really well looked after. Just a couple more days until it will all be over and you can start again with a fresh slate, if you want. Have you given any thought to what you will do next?

I've also been fairly cheery. I did my crying and gnashing of teeth after my first scan I think. I just want to get this over with and move on to the next cycle now.

I'm going to try to let things happen naturally, but as I said to buzz above, I will get impatient if it takes too long. My body is normally quite efficient at expelling what is in my womb at AF time, letting me know all about it with some uber cramps, so I am hoping those strong cramps can finally be of some use in helping me get on with this. There is no sign of anything yet though, not a drop. I haven't had any spotting since a tiny bit the day after test day. Part of me wonders if the surgical option would be better. From what I have read, most people seem to get their cycles back to normal quickest that way. I just don't really fancy more hospitals right now.

This is a very waffley post. Enjoy your evenings all.

euro I think most womens body usually get on with things within 2 weeks, it took 34 and 35 days for my first period after my ERPC's but some women are a typical 28 days it will take a couple of days after you stop the cyclogest for your body to recognise things are happening, I hope it happens quickly so you can get on with your next cycle