TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Euro every second must feel like an hour for you. Hope you get some sleep. I've decided that three iui is right for me and that I'm not allowed to regret it. But, I'll be getting my fsh this month and there will be no point if it's high. Then I'll have to face the music I guess.

Good luck tomorrow sar I agree that you were definitely so brave and so low key about it all! You really are such a strong and dignified lady

gin Wow at your book. I am so impressed. What an amazing achievement. Congratulations!
Thanks for you comments about you too having a couple of large follies. It is nice to know that others have had the same thing. It looks like 4-6 follies on each ovary with one or two bigguns

madness I agree with euro about illness and taking to your bed. Anything in between is a real ball ache. Soldiering on is no fun at all. BTW MrP swears by sweating out colds and flu which is delightful to sleep next to so a curry might actually have been a good idea!

nelly awards you with your bravery medal Realises how flakey I am and how many times I have practically sealed up a room when there has been a wasp and just waited for MrP to come home

rabbits I am so shocked that you were basically told a load of old tosh by your consultant. How awful.

I understand your need for baby steps. We have to do whatever feels most comfortable and right. I guess IVF felt right because I am painfully aware of my decrepit status and being in the top end age bracket for IVF (just!)
Ohhhhhh piping. I just can't get my head around how you would even begin to do that (or fudge it). I will have to ask you for tips about patchworking. I really do intend on making a throw because Big Dog has adopted the armchair in the window as his space it's a good vantage point with a full 180 degree view of the street and he can bark at both sets of neighbours at once I wince every time he puts his mucky feet or chin on the arm. A throw might just save my sanity.

Massive good luck tomorrow euro I will be thinking of you.

Not brave at all really, just no choice. They are always bringing alive mice through the catflap and I wanted to find it before she killed it and left it to go smelly somewhere . She did look very pleased with her hunted Gaviscon though

Rabbit you won't regret whatever you decide, because they are your decisions. If they are right at the time, they are the right ones. I didn't really have any qualms about IVF really but it's still a bit daunting. I doubt there is a need to rush; but let the bloods guide you to a degree. You still get the final say though.

euro huge huge huge vibes for tomorrow. I hope you get some sleep. Will be thinking of you x

Decided today that I must be pregnant like I manage to do most months. Had a fairly sore head, and spots the like of which I don't think I've ever had . However the clincher is pregnancy brain. Cooking tea, got the peas out of the freezer to add to the cooking pasta, and instead poured them into the bowl with the mixed raw egg and cream. . I'm sure in about 5 days a stripey hob nob will confirm it. Really, it's just a matter of time until I am sectioned, probably

I really must get more sleep.

I can't believe I admitted to eating peas and raw egg on a conception thread! (Carbonara, in case you were wondering what weird delight that was).

Also, I said really quite a lot. Will buy a thesaurus. If I could spell it...

Hi everyone. Just a quick one from me. I hope to write a long msg thus weekend. Work is manic at the moment. I just finished for the day.

Euro - i hope tomorrow is okay for you. I know it must be v hard. Know that we are thinking of you (hug and handhold)

Joy - still thinking of you. Hope you are feeling as well as can be expected. Thanks for your offer if telling me abt argc. I will take you up on it soon. Pls take good care of yourself.

Freedom - hope the 2ww is not too painful.

Waves to all. Will do a long name check post v soon.

Ooh and sar good luck for tomorrow.
I'm missing so much

raw eggs and peas sounds actually quite normal for a conception thread. Aren't peas high in oestrogen or something? And we know what some people do with raw egg whites.

euro I'll be thinking of you today. Big hand hold and hugs for you.

joy what was that man doing having a lie down at work?? Men are generally rubbish at working out what stuff means so maybe he won't know what you were on about. I also think men don't gossip as much as women (massive generalisation) so I reckon he won't go telling anyone. Is it worth having a word with him to say if you did hear anything I'd like you not to say anything to anyone as what you heard was highly sensitive and private? He would have to be a massive *** to say anything then. If your boss did know, would it be a big issue? Was your GP kind?

pout I can't believe ec is so close, woo hoo! Exciting stuff.

gin congratulations on the book! That is an amazing achievement much better and more impressive than popping out a baby

AF is still missing, boobs still sore. No excitement though, I think she is on her way but just teasing so that ivf is pushed further back.

FFS. My scan has had to be pushed back by 2 hrs because I can't bloody well get there! Signal failure on my train line, no cabs for love nor money. Eventually got on a bus and called clinic to say I would be late to be told they wouldn't be able to see me if I arrived late and to come at 11 instead. I'm glad they could fit me in this morning, but a bit resentful as they have kept me waiting for every single appointment so far (including an hour with a very full bladder for ET!). Grrrr. So I am now back home and a sweaty nervy mess, having spent half an hour running between station, cab office and bus stop. Arsebadgers.

Nelly I'm not sure about wishing someone going for an internal scan "huge huge huge vibes"...

Morning - really weird, I couldn't see our thread this morning. I had to search for it through the filter.

Euro - big hand holds coming your way for this mornings scan. And well done for not allowing them to move it back - not acceptable. This period is stresfull enough and they never should have suggested it be moved back. grrrr

Pout - well done with stimming. It sounds like things are going VERY well. Dont worry about a couple of over sized follies. This is the point where you really can be very hopeful indeed about what comes next. Tantrums and stressy fits are perfectly fine and I would be more concerned if you found all of this plain sailing. Thank you too for your lovely words.

Rabbit - WTF??? . I am very impressed that you contacted PALS and very unimpressed with what what you have been advised is available. I think going for IUI is an ideal next step....when you are ready. Please don't worry about the upcoming FSH etc - it was fine last time and there is no reason to think it will have shot in to elevated levels in a short time frame. Hand holds though - I know waiting and wondering is horrid.

Madness - sorry you are feeling less than well. Crisps are the way froward, especially those nice pipers ones!

Gin - congratulations about your book. Please allow yourself to basque in this glory 100% - a great acheivement indeed.

Joy - aaagh about the snake. Bloody hell. I agree with others he is very unlikely to tell - and even if he did, there couldn't be any concequesnces for you. If they even tried to discuss this issue with you in a way that is anything other than supportive you could have their arses on a plate. Generally I would say not to worry and nothing will happen. But if you are a little anxious, keep a diary of events / conversations just in case there is anything so you feel protected. And what the hell was he doing lying down -

Midnight - I am sorry to hear abou the long and brain trickery cycle - not fun and not fair. Do you think there is any chance you did conceive this month? Thinking of you lots - what is your next step?

Sweet - stay positive, I think what the other ladies have said about PCOS is soooo true. Plenty of reasons to be hopeful at this upcoming appointment.

Nelly - awww, big hugs - I would have eaten your lovely tea no matter how it was randomly cooked.

Hello to sea - hope work settles down. Also hello to the lovely Critter, Artemis and all the gang.

Yes trasfer is today. We are waiting for a phone call from the embryologist some time this morning with an update on how thawing goes and hopefully we will be in at 2 pm for transfer. Trying to play it a bit cool but I did have a couple of mild anxiety moments this morning - but I guess that is to be expected. I have a whisper easter egg and an ideal home bumper pack magazine thing waiting for me when we get back. Will update later today. Sending hugs and big luffs to everyone just now - we are having an unsettling time. xx

Good luck for the ET sar!

Best of luck today sar oh a whispa easter egg is making me salivate just thinking about it. DH was back in the UK for a few days last week, he brought me back a huge bar of galaxy, and plenty of tea bags. He was in the dog house though because he forgot to get me any creme eggs. I mean how can you forget? Surely they're stacked up everywhere at this time of year?

euro the gods are not playing nice. grrr that you have to wait longer, it's torture. My clinic is always running late too. It makes me quite angry actually. It's normal for them to be running an hour late. There is a comments box in the waiting room and I want to tell them to have fewer appointments because it's obvious they're not allowing enough time for each one when they schedule them. I suppose it's nice that I never feel rushed when I'm in with the Dr, but I hate waiting rooms it turns me anxious.

rabbits I'm that you weren't told about what you were entitled to. Time counts in this game. I think you're right to complain, they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. How did you find out the truth in the end?

Oh no, more nervous waiting for sar and euro. I hope it is good news all round.

Sorry about the huge vibes euro . My post last night sounded like I was drunk, which annoyingly I wasn't.

Mrsden can't believe AF is teasing you as well. What is going on just now?

today is CD34, I have had cycles up to 38 days before but they've been in months where I haven't ovulated. I'm pretty certain I did ovulate this month, my boobs are too sore so there's definitely some progesterone there. I think I must have just ovulated later than usual. Not sure what would have delayed it. I want it to hold off for another couple of days because now the scan is in danger of falling over the easter weekend. Typical.

Yes where did this thread go this morning - it disappeared?

Euro - oh goodness poor you. It's all so hideous.

Sar - really best of luck today. You go girl.

Mrsd - can't believe af is messing you around. How frustrating.

Gin - congrats on the book. What an achievement! well done you.

Yes the snake has snoozes during his lunch hour most days. I have found myself in there before but that was after EC. he just drinks too much. I'm so cross i didn't check as i'm normally really careful and have a quick glance through the window in the door before i have a private conversation in the kitchen. I have been a bit panicky about it because he really can't be trusted but he's so buddy with the manager that he gets away with it. Also if the Manager gets wind he will know that i've been deceitful with some of my excuses lately - plumber, dentist, leaking roofs, mortgage meeting....yes the list goes on. I'm hoping I am winding myself up about nothing. But still disturbed that he now knows i did ivf, pregnant and miscarriage.

Sitting waiting by the phone in my pjs waiting for a phone call from the EPAU. I bet my GP has forgotten to call them.

Oh dear, 1st embryo is deteriorating, 2nd embryo died instantly and now waiting to see what 3rd and final embryo will do when it gets thawed.

Big hugs joy and euro

I'm glad to hear you're off work today joy. You deserve some time to yourself. Is it worth phoning the GP to give them a nudge? Or can you phone the epu direct? I think even if your boss did find out, he would have to be completely devoid of all human emotion to be cross that you told a few white lies, you were under no obligation to tell him. Don't be worrying about that now, just concentrate on taking it easy and being away from work.

There's an article about Lisa Faulkner on the fail's website today. It's about her ivf and subsequent adoption. It makes me feel quite anxious to think she spent 35k. We will have to stop after the subsidised cycles. I'm trying not to think ahead, one step at a time.

sar sorry that one and two haven't made it but fingers crossed for number 3. When will you hear back? It must be so nerve wracking.

oh Sar - fingers crossed for the 3rd. Thinking about you.

mrsd - yes you're right. I think i better phone up the GP. Need to be proactive...I always hate chasing people but i think i need to grow up.
Lisa Faulkner was at the argc so i wouldn't feel anxious. They are totally off the scale. Mind you, she must have been there about 6 years ago. There is no way she could get 4 cycles there now for 35k.

Oh sar I am keeping everything crossed that number 3 is the fighter. Much love

sar I'll have everything crossed for #3.

Joy did your GP already know you were PG? I actually started a thread in the mc forum after last week's scan because I realised I had no idea what to actually do in practical terms if it all turned out as expected. I had deliberately decided not to book in before that scan, which was sensible as it turned out, but left me with no idea who to contact. I guess I'll just call the GP or my local EPAU (I think they take self-referrals). Do you know yet how you plan to manage things?

mrsd how annoying of your period to be messing you around.

As expected, my scan did not bring good news, but I am actually doing better than I was. I just want to be out of this limbo. The sac was the same size as last week, or maybe marginally smaller. The yolk sac has turned into a tiny embyo, but it is far too small. It should be 8mm at this stage, but it is only 2mm and there is no heartbeat. It's more than a week behind where it should be. The sonographer went off to speak to the clinical director about what to do and came back saying that miscarriage was the likely outcome, but there is no harm in taking the progesterone for another week and having a rescan. We've been talking about it and I think we've reached a joint decision to stop the cyclogest. It clearly isn't developing properly and we just want to bring an end to it. Surprisingly, we both feel relatively positive - despite my sceptism about the IVF process for "unexplained" couples, it did work for us - they got a mature egg from me, it fertilised, it implanted. It was most likely a bit genetically messed up and that is probably just "bad luck". Now it could be NK cells or something else at work, but most probably the lack of development just means a genetic defect this time around. I think I actually grieved for emBarryo after last week's scans and said goodbye to him, so I am in less of a mess now than I was then. I actually feel relatively calm and eager to try again.

euro I'm sorry that there wasn't better news, but it sounds like you are coping really well. I think you're right to think it was down to pure bad luck. Genetic problems are the most common reason for m/c and 1 in 4 pregnancies end that way so it must be very common. It's still awful though, and I know all m/c are awful but it is particularly heartbreaking after the emotional and physical effort of ivf. I don't remember the exact figures but I know my clinic has a quite a significant difference between pregnancy rates and take home baby rates, it made me think when I saw them.

euro - How frustrating. Clinics always make you wait even with appointment but the one time you are late they make a fuss. Argh... Hope it goes okay.

Joy - You snake colleague sounds vile. I agree with earlier posts, I am sure it will be find. He sounds like the self obsessed type who probably took no notice of your conversation. If you are worried, note the events as previous post said. Good luck. I hope you are feeling better. Responding to your earlier posts from last week. I can get to ARGC quite easily... I live around 20 mins away. I am a bit scared about the process but I have become convinced that my problem is Natural Killer cells (thanks to Dr Google) and this is the route I feel will most likely result in a baby.

Rabbit - I think you were asking about IUI on the NHS. They do offer it but at my clinic at UCLH, they said no to natural cycle just because the stats are so poor without drugs. I had a private consultation at CRGH and they told me the same thing. I have done 2 IUI so far and both times I was stimmed using Clomid but I have actually read lots of articles and medical reports that say the chances of success of Clomid with IUI is v low. You are apparently much better off with injectables. I am on my 2ww for the 2nd IUI. I don't believe it's worked as I can already feel my pre period pains and signs coming. Looking back, I picked IUI because it was more "natural" than IVF but a part of me is regretting it now. You have to do what you are comfortable with of course and maybe doing an IUI first is a good way to begin. I just have the advice of numerous people ringing in my head saying... don't bother with IUI, it does nothing but raise your expectations that it will work. You always think you will be on the right side of statistics. I am also on another IUI thread on FF and in Jan & Feb, only one person got a BFP and she was in her 20s. I am not trying to convince you not to do it but I wish more people had told me all the facts. Good luck figuring out what to do. It's tough to make a decision because there are no guarantees with any of the options and so many unknowns.

Sar - I hope number 3 is the one. Good luck! Lots of hand holds and hugs.

Mrsd - Missing AF is the worst. Why does it always happen when you are about to have something done? I hope the red witch comes soon.

Nelly - I love peas but stopped eating it as was told it's mildly contraceptive. Sounds like rubbish to me but I follow all the old wives tales these days. I think it's desperation that something will help.

Madness - hope you are feeling better.

Gin - well done on the book! Sorry for the missing AF. I too am fed up with Kate Middy... Argh

Midnight - I do freelance projects too. I feel for you... Pay shy clients are the worst. I love crisps too. Kettle crisps chilli flavour are my favs.

Doll - how are you? Is mini doll feeling better?

Waves to everyone else I have missed.

Someone asked for a forward looking description a while ago. Here's mine.
Sea 35, Mr Sea 39
TTC 3.5 yrs, never been pregnant
2 x IUI with Clomid
On 2WW (not convinced it's worked) and considering IVF with ARGC later this year. On wait list for 1st appointment.

I'm sorry Euro that your didn't turn out happily but admire your strength and focused attitude. Well done you on focussing on the positives of getting this far. Are you going to take a break at all?

sea the 2ww is not difficult but does seem to be lasting an age. If I'm not up the duff this time I want to start thinking about IVF. DH has asked that we put the papers away until we know the result of the last IUI.

mrsd sorry if you already said up thread but you don't seem to be thinking this might be, you know, 2 line time.

sar so sorry about 1&2. me also fingers crossed for 3

x post euro
sorry to hear the news. I really admire your positivity. Lots of hugs and love to you and Mr Euro. xx

Freedom - from memory, I think our TTC journey has been quite similar. Have u had natural killer cells tested?
Your DH sounds wise. Mr Sea is convinced our last IUI hasn't worked. It's all a bit bleak in the Sea household. MIL has been on the phone asking what we are going to do next :-(