TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Damn and blast joy - to use my grandmother's words. I am so sorry that this hasn't worked out as you'd hoped. So cruel to have hopes raised only for them to be dashed again. I can add my mother's story to the mix - 4 miscarriages and yet her pregnancy with me was completely normal and I arrived on time and healthy. My work friend also had two miscarriages (one natural preg and one icsi) before going on to have a successful icsi pregnancy. So incredibly hard when you're in the middle of it but you will come out the other side of this. Take care of yourself and Roy.

Thinking of you too euro. Time does seem to stand still sometimes....

Congrats doll. Some good news was most definitely required .

Big waves to everyone else. I have succumbed to the dreaded cold bug that is doing the rounds. Heading to bed with some lemsip.

Oh bums just did a huge post swallowed by mn

Suffice it to say joy I said lots to you, I'm thinking of you and I'm so sad that you are dealing with this news. It is utterly shit. Massive love. Keep posting here and know how supported you are. Can you have some leave to nurture yourself?

Gin next period was spot on. I scrolled back years through my app to check. The body likes to get back to habit in my experience, I'm sure all will be good.

I must go, I've been on here for ages to little avail. Must copy and paste posts.

ah Joy I'm sorry. Thinking of you.

I just logged on and saw Joy's news and had to write. I am so so sorry Joy. I am truly devastated for you. This is v unfair. All my love to you and Roy. [Massive hug and handhold]
Will catch up over the next few days everyone. Hope you are all well.

Off to bed but just wanted to say a quick hurrah for good egg growing to pout and a hug for joy.

More tomorrow. Night all.

Joy - I?m so sorry to hear your news. There?s not much to say other than I am so sorry for the two of you.

Mrs Den - It?s too bad about the wonky cycle and second pregnancy announcement. But at least once your cycle sorts itself out you will be on your way to starting IVF

Gin - I am just waiting to see how serious the fertility MD thinks the PCOS is and hoping it is simple to deal with. My GP has always just told me not to worry about having somewhat irregular cycles especially because my stupid body has previously had textbook cycles when being monitored. I?m dreading the second pregnancy announcements that I know are coming. I hope the next cycle is normal, from my understanding a delayed period when you have a viral infection is pretty common. Which means things should be back in order for your FET.

Nelly - I think stories like your sisters are important for us to keep in mind, especially when things don?t work out the way everyone hopes.

Pout - Sorry about the headaches, but it is great that the egg is growing!

Euro - I?m thinking of you too? I?m sure Thursday can?t come fast enough for you.

Madness - I?m sorry to hear you?re sick. Get well.

Hello to everyone who I failed to name check with, I?m off to finish watching ?yelling at the refs through the tv with DH-- the hockey game, it?s tied 1-1.

Just checking in. Joy I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

joy I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news.
Euro fingers crossed for your scan.

critter thank you for the book recs - I will look them up.

AF arrived this morning - 6 days late. I really got my hopes up this time, as it has never been past cd33 before, usually cd 30 +/- one day. So this seemed really likely, even after a BFN at cd33, and I have spent the last week going -- it could be, no, be still, it won't be, but it could be, no, be still... and because it's been so long I'd got further with the day dreaming than I usually let myself, and I feel extra rotten as a reward.

I really don't feel like TTC right now -- good thing I've got a week before I need to think about it, I guess. OPKs are totally new to me doll so any tips or advice will be welcomed. Was interested to see that they're not necessarily all that in the thread above.

Thanks for making this space everyone - there's no one else I can tell, who won't think it's silly. Sending you all my good luck wishes.

Aw sorry midnight. Those hopeful months really get you. Big hug.

A me
I have decided to complain to pals about my treatment and advice so far today and have spoken at length with the pct too. Turns out I AM eligible for 6 rounds of iui on my consultants say so. To say I'm pissed off is an understatement!

Oh FFS rabbit. Why do some drs and admin staff make this whole process so much harder than it already is? I find it so frustrating.

My scan tomorrow has been moved forward. They called me to try to push it back as something has come up but I couldn't stand the idea of waiting any longer, so it is now first thing in the morning.

Euro Pushing your scan back? Really????? Good for you for sticking to your guns. I will be thinking of you tomorrow morning and can't tell you how much I hope all will be well.

rabbits I hadn't realised that you were told you couldn't get IUI. How awful to have misled you like that. I am so sorry that on top of everything you are having to do battle like this.

midnight Oh no at late AF. I have been there and it really does feel like Mother Nature is being mean doesn't it. I so would have got my hopes up too and it is difficult to believe a BFN when your period still is a no show. You know it won't feel like it now but you will feel better in a few days. I have said it so many times on here [stuck record smiley] but this cycle will so quickly be binned to the archives of history and before you know it you will be stressing about the new cycle Onwards and upwards

sweetgrouch Good luck with your appointment. I was told that if you have PCOS pregnancy might just take a little longer to achieve but is definitely doable.

madness I hope that you are feeling better today. There is nothing like a cold to make you feel bloody awful.

Thanks for the kind words rabbit - you're right to be angry, bad enough nature screwing (ahem) you around without professionals getting in on the act

pout you know, that's the first thing that's made me feel at all better all day. I'm sure I will feel better in a day or three, and eventually this will just be a footnote in the story. I'm just so tired of bad news - it's five months today that my father died, a year since his first diagnosis, one of the people I'm freelancing for has just said they don't want the work I've done after all, so that'll be a fight to get paid... and it's raining... and there's no crisps in the house... and... and... I think I'm going to cancel today and go back to bed. Tomorrow will be better.

Just by a few hours, pout, but I have been so focussed on tomorrow lunchtime for the past week that I just couldn't stand it. So now it will be a few hours earlier instead! How are you doing?

euro any news on your scan, crossing fingers and toes

rabbit good on your for complaining, what a cheek

midnight sorry about all the menkulling, big hugs

madness hope you feel better soon

euro Earlier will be better so you won't have all morning to stew about it. This week must have felt endless for you. Like you said upthread, so much waiting. That has definitely been the theme for us all on here! Anyway, tomorrow morning will be here before you know it

I'm okay, thanks for asking. I admit that I have been feeling sorry for myself about feeling poorly but recent events on here have put my nonsense into perspective. MrP has probably got so sick of me though and his rising stress levels might have culminated in him attempting to drive the wrong way round a roundabout the other day Just waiting now to see what my follies do. A couple were apparently too large.

midnight No crisps????????? That truly isn't on! I often crave crisps during my period but aren't fussed about them any other time. Sorry about your client messing you around. I advocate dealing with it whilst in the midst of your PMT rage Yes, tomorrow will be better!

euro sorry I mis readyour post

Thanks Nelly. I hope it is just one of those very unlucky things but I fear something sinister is going on!

Euro - I hope tomorrow obviously brings a lovely surprise with better news. Will be thinking about you.

Pout - anyone doing ivf is allowed to feel sorry for themselves regardless of what else is going on. It's a crap process especially when it messes with hormones. I was incredibly lucky and didnt have to down reg so I felt ok. However you are nearly there now.

Rabbit - oh these admin errors are so frustrating. Urgh.

Madness - thanks for your mum story. It really really helps to hear about it.

Midnight - it sounds like you have had a really rough 6minths and AF playing tricks like that is horrible. I am sorry.

Well I have been ok today. Thanks ladies. Thankfully I had the next few days booked off work for other things so that has tied in nicely . I've got 5 days to mope and get to the EPAU. My GP called today and I went in to the kitchen at work to speak to her and explained everything that had happened. Came off the phone and to my horror realised my colleague was having a lie down on the sofa in storeroom. You can hear every word anyone says in the kitchen when you are in there. I am absolutely mortified he heard. He is a snake and I have been so paranoid about people finding out I want a baby at work because it could jeopardise my job. I have gone to great lengths to hide everything and he is very buddy with the manager so am now terrified he is going to spill the beans. All I can hope is that he understands all that he heard was completely confidential and clearly not something to be discussed with anyone. But I don't trust him. Anyway he didn't mention anything to me, he doesn't know that I know he heard so I hope He will keep quiet.

I am so glad joy that you will have some time for yourself. As for your colleague please don't worry too much. Even snakes can sometimes realise that some things are kind of sacrosanct & not to be repeated or gossiped about.

Oh joy he sounds like a total dick! Maybe he didn't understand what you were saying?! Men are v dense about this kinda thing. And you can sue the pants of em if they sack you cos of baby stuff. Also why was this man lying down in the middle of the day, when you're soldiering on with all the crap you've been through? Pleased to hear you have some time off. Hugs.

euro I hope they don't keep you waiting too long tomorrow and I so so hope you get good news. Will be thinking of you.

pout you are doing amazingly well! You seem to be getting on so well with it. Is it the drugs making you feel poorly? And is it looking like a good crop of eggs? I too had the odd follie that was too big.

I think it's your transfer tomorrow sar? If so, good luck!

Sorry bout the headfeck cycle midnight. I know how that feels!

FFS re your crappy drs rabbit. Why did they not give you the right info? Will you go for iui if it's an option? I'm now in week 5 of my cycle, so reallllly hoping it'll be no more than 6 weeks like yours. Thanks so much for checking the next cycle was ok.

I began the day in a right grump - still no period, stupid happy pregnant k-middy in the paper and several preggos on my train. Am hoping it's pmt... Anyway felt much better this arvo when I got my grubby mits on a copy of the book a colleague and I are publishing! It felt ace to have actually created something after months of hard work even if it's not a babyee In fact working on it kept me going through the summer, rather than menkuling about the ivf.

Evening ladies,

Oh joy snooping whether or not intentional colleagues is just the icing on the cake, isn't it. Like you wanted anything else to stress over! Hopefully he will do the decent thing and keep his mouth shut. Any chance he was actually asleep?? Glad you have a few days off.

midnight crisps are my absolute weakness. Had to stop myself from stopping at the corner shop to buy some on the way home. I was soooooo hungry. Salad and fruit may be healthy for lunch but come 6pm I am desperate and just want junk. I agree with pout that this cycle will join the others soon. My hopeful peeing on a stick cycles are a distant memory now but at the time they were heartbreaking.

You're doing really well pout - perhaps better than MrP if he is resorting to driving the wrong way in traffic . You're so close to EC. That has got to be exciting and not a little scary too.

Good luck tomorrow euro. I think first thing is good too. You'll be wound up waiting for it otherwise. Will be thinking of you.

rabbit I don't remember when you were told that IUI wasn't an option. Was this something your consultant didn't know or that they just failed to tell you? Really infuriating anyway. Good for you for being proactive and finding out. I'm normally pretty bad at just accepting what people tell me without question.

As for me, still under the weather but not enough to stay off work. Had a long and frustrating day but there were some good points. MrM is being good and cooking dinner. Having avoided buying crisps on the way home I was equally prepared to order in a takeaway curry . I am really crap at this healthy eating thing......

Big waves to everyone that I have missed. Name checking is not my forte these days.....

Cross post gin. Well done on the book. That must feel like such a big achievement, having something in your hands that you have produced .

And good luck to sar for tomorrow. You have kept this cycle pretty low key I think. I have been very impressed!

Joy can't believe that happened on top of everything else going on. I agree with others that either he will not have realised what you were talking about or will have just enough empathy to keep it to himself. And if he doesn't and work becomes a problem; well you have the law on your side. I think you've said you work for a small company; and although they probably don't relish the prospect of maternity leave (it's tough on small companies, for sure) they won't want to get rid of you "just in case". You are valuable to them, remember :)

Wow Sar it's tomorrow already. Good luck!

euro how very insensitive of them re your scan. I am glad you got it brought forward. I hope so much it's better news than you are expecting. If only the might of this thread could change the outcome for you.

Well done on the book gin. It is so important to have a diversion from flipping TTC. How annoying about AF not turning up the one time you want it to.

Well done on the crisp and takeaway avoidance madness.

pout you are doing so well on this cycle. I never got to the stage of having follies too big (haha! As if!) but they did say they might let my biggest one "go over" if it meant I had more to choose from; I think it's normal for that to happen.

midnight those cycles are just put on this earth to mess with our heads. it is so so unfair, as if it wasn't hard enough.

rabbit I don't think there is any IUI funding in Scotland; but sounds like it is different in your area. Information is never exactly forthcoming, is it?

waves to lemon sweets mrsd Teu sea free and everyone else I have missed. Rubbish catch up, sorry!

Just had to be brave and go upstairs to identify the scary thumping noise (am home alone); only to find my cat running around chasing a small tub of gaviscon chewables . Still, it's better than the mouse I thought it might be!

gin you wrote a book! That is bloody amazing !!! Well done you, feel proud of what you created. This year on New Year's Day I decided that this year would be all about creating things that are not babies to show I can create. It has been a really good decision. I hope you are celebrating.

joy I'm so glad you have some time for yourself. Balls about the colleague who sounds like an utter tool. And I second what the hell was he doing lying n the sofa while you soldier on?! He may well have not heard you. And even if he did, there is a line of decency that most people couldn't cross. I truly think you are doing so amazingly. Here is your hug for today

madness I was told I could do 6 months clomid and no less OR ivf and that they no longer funded IUI. And, if I paid for this privately, even one go, my nhs round would be sacrificed. This is not true, I can have 6 goes and my nhs round and can fund privately if I wanted to it -it is all on my consultants say so. To say I'm pissed off is an understatement. To be honest, I'm not seeing IUI as the answer. But I think euro said she needed baby steps and that is what I need. I'd like to try a few rounds to get more info on what's going on inside and to rule out that it could have worked. lemon is your IUI on the nhs? Can you opt to do it with drugs?

euro I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm so hoping this will be ok for you.

pout hurray to hear that everything is ok and on track. Are you still headache ridden? And can you take drugs? I did my craft weekend with my aunt who is a sewing extraordinaire. I can now patchwork small things and do piping, which was a total arse.

I still have heavy spotting. I can't be arsed with yet another period.

Oo sar, good luck for tomorrow.

pout I agree with joy - you are very much allowed to feel sorry for yourself. It is a gruelling process.

joy how irritating about your colleague overhearing. Let's hope he isn't enough of a snake to try to make something out of this. Will you get a debrief appointment with your clinic?

That's absolutely brilliant about the book Gin. You should feel absolutely chuffed!

Madness sorry you are feeling under the weather. I am of the view that it is only really worth being ill if you are ill enough to turn your bed into your home for a few days and retreat from the world.

Nelly you are terribly brave!

rabbit with the benefit of hindsight, knowing that IVF somehow overcomes our undiagnosed problem, I wish I had gone straight for it, but as I found the concept of needing any intervention so difficult I really needed to get there by baby steps. I lost some time, but it was right for me at the time.

Good luck sar.

I am so pleased that this horrible week of limbo is nearly over. I have become a google obsessive (even more than usual) and just can't think about anything else. It is absolutely horrible. The worst 1ww ever.