Out with the OPKs, ban the body temping; here's Just Shagging thread 14!

[Rockchick1984]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly opk's or temp charting. They are Contraband

The link to Part 13 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers

Hello...de-lurking here too to say congrats to Bear on the new job :-) September seems so far away though! Hopefully you'll have a baby bump when you start though.

Yay to all the good scans too. So pleased for everyone as you've all had it hard. Fx to nice, uncomplicated pregnancies. :-)

25+2 here, which is amazing...baby appears to be a total loon, kicking loads and causing merry hell. Father's child! We didn't find out the sex, so I'll have more incentive to push now, ha ha.

Keep up the good work, shaggers.

Hi Hooya and MrsBri - good to hear your scans and babies are coming along well! Glad to hear you're feeling better Hooya and wow time has gone quickly MrsBri! Thanks for dropping by - it is great about the job. I'm really chuffed and September will roll around fairly quickly. It's only 6 months away.

So, one step forward with the job and two steps back with TTC here in BearLand. Sorry, but this might be a long one - scroll through if you don't want to read it all. No offence taken!

This morning we had a copy of the letter from the consultant about DH's varicocole in his scrotum, and we are now being referred to a fertility clinic. The letter said specifically that we needed to be referred with a view to IVF. They'll look at the varicocole and all other factors affecting fertility, but it seems likely that IVF is on the cards for us.

So, we're back to square one it would seem. We're going to try giving the vitamins and other sperm-enhancing techiques a go, but by the time we get an appointment for the referral it should be clear whether or not this has had any effect.

DH is okay, but I think he is hiding lots of underlying stress and upset because he thinks he's to blame, even though I've made it clear it's not his fault. I've tried talking to him, but he keeps saying he's okay. Maybe I'm fussing too much.

As far as I'm concerned, I really wanted us to be able to have a baby naturally, so this is a bit of a blow because the consultant's letter and the way it's worded suggests that IVF is the most likely option. I feel sad about that.

I'm also worried that they'll say I'm too heavy. My BMI is currently 26, so now I've got the added pressure of trying to lose some weight, although I know it won't be too much to get me down into a normal BMI.

Then there's the fact that they only offer IVF in our area up to the age of 37 on the NHS and I'm now 34, so it's not long if we want more than one child, which we do.

I guess I just have a bit of a heavy heart today about the whole TTC thing. I'll probably be fine again tomorrow. No need to reply guys - I just wanted to get it all out as it helps. Thanks.

Oh, Bear I'm sorry hopefully they mean it's with a view to IVF if all else fails - better to be "known" to the clinic rather than not being if other options don't work! Can MrBear have the varicole removed, will that help? Would your local NHS offer more than one baby on IVF or would you have to fund a second child yourself, if so that lessens the time pressure a bit at least!

Not sure about how the funding works Rock or even how I find out?! They did talk about removal of the varicocole as an option, so maybe that will be all it takes. I guess we're quite in the dark ATM. I do think it's a good thing that we both go and get checked out with specialists though rather than just the GPs who don't seem to know very much so every cloud and all that.

Just de lurking with a quick one..... Bear your are not too heavy with a bmi of 26!! That's pretty much bang on for ideal bmi, I know from the grads that women aren't being consultant led until they have a bmi of over 30 and in some areas 35! I also know of two women who were refused ivf until they lowered they're bmi to below 35. I wouldn't think of ivf if that what they are thinking is a food option for you, as not having a baby naturally....you're just getting the necessary help needed for whatever reason to be able to have what you want. ;)

Hello all, Bear you seem to be getting some answers now, i know how very hard it is not to think about it it's all i seem to think about these days but maybe now you can put it to the back of your mind until the appointment comes round, you can relax and focus on the here and now and do some just shagging

Or maybe i don't know what i am talking about and feel free to ignore me.

Dh is back, and its feeeeeeling gooooooood

Although he came back with a cold

Happy (hopeful) Mother's Day shaggers!
I've just been catching up with the goings on while I've been absent.
It's been a roller coaster week for you Bear I hope the consultants letter was just them being cautious and preparing you for all eventualities but even if you do end up going through IVF, see it as a little helping hand.

Sad to see the witch got so many of you. My ERTD buggered off after 4 days but I had some spotting 2 days afterwards which was weird and I'm now three days into a tension headache that is impervious to paracetamol!

On the bright side, I got the job!! I start mid May providing all my identity checks and references come back in a timely manner, filled out my CRB check yesterday. I'm very excited. I met some nice ladies on my pre-training who have also got through to the real training programme so I'll already have some friends.
I've started potty training my 2 and a half year old so it's all go here.

Hope everyone's well.

Andie congratulations on the job!!!!! yay that is such good news you must feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders!!

and potty training your 2 year old, hmm enjoy that

I am sitting on the sofa watching 'the lucky one' oh my Zac Efron is a sooo sexy!!!

Andie - that's brilliant news - well done you! I'm so pleased for you!

Well, as predicted I'm feeling a bit more positive about it all now that it's had time to sink in. You are right, ladies, that IVF may not necessarily be on the cards - they may be being cautious. Plus you're right *Andie and others that I should see it as a helping hand. It's hard though. And from what I can see about waiting lists it seems it would better to get started now - they appear to be 12-18 months!

Frog - thanks for telling me about the BMI. I looked it up afterwards too and it seems it needs to be 29 or 30 in most areas before it becomes a problem. I'm still trying to lose weight though as ever!

Cookie - thanks for the advice and I know you're right, but again it's very difficult. I'm not falling apart or anything, but it's hard not to feel sad on days like Mothers' Day. I'll be much better come September when I'm working full-time and won't have as much time on my hands to think or to shag! Weirdly at the moment I feel a bit like I've gone a bit the other way and I'm starting to lose sight of the idea of having a baby of my own. DH and I were talking about future plans at the weekend and the phrase 'If DC ever appears . . . we can do X, Y, Z' whereas before we used to say 'when DC appears', so I feel like maybe I'm accepting it a bit more, or maybe just trying to get myself used to the idea that it may never happen.

Cookie - glad DH is back!

It's very snowy here! Has everyone else who's living in the UK got snow?

P.S. Wanted to say thanks to you all for reading, listening and offering advice.

How are you guys alll doing?

We got the most miniatures of blizzards at work today, when i walked through the main piazza (mahoosive play area) the adults were all pointing at the window going 'oooooh' and then i was through the doors into the office and it had stopped and that was that.

Bear i hope this thread gives you as it does me great comfort, i feel i can just come on here and vent, joke and just be and let all the worries of ttc big and small come out and i won't be judge and will be listened to and given loads of support.

I don't mean to get all soppy and stuff but when i have been feeling at my lowest of lows with all this stuff sitting heavy in my heart, this thread and these people have just been wonderful. I just wanted to say thank you to all, and i hope i can give back all that you have given me.

Also glad DH is back, however he is sooo spoilt mostly by me he has 3 new screens for his computer, the man is insane!!

Oh no news from me, only that is soooooo bloody freeezing, i want it to be sunny!!! and to feel warm!!!

Yes, definitely Cookie - don't know where I'd be without you guys! Thanks everyone. I'll be trying my hardest to be positive hereon in. Can't wallow forever! Had a good chat with one of my friends today and that helped too.

There's a fair amount of snow here and it's still going. The council doesn't appear to have gritted either so there's been lots of accidents. Not looking forward to the journey into work tomorrow.

Oh bear) - and and hugs for you! It's OK to wallow a bit. Like cookie* said (so eloquently!), this is place for us to just let it all out. But keep your chin up. Doctors can do amazing things, and you will get your little one - if not on your own, then with a teeny bit of help.

Congrats on the job, Andie!

We've been having some heavy/serious conversations here, with DH sharing fears about having a baby and our lives changing. At the end of the day, we're still a-go - I don't think anyone is ever ready, you just have to jump in head first. Right?

Oof, sorry for all the bad formatting above....

Yay! Snow day! May go back to bed for a bit . . . going to spend the day with Hilary Mantel in the warm. May graduate to an online workout using Youtube later to combat all the pity chocolate eaten yesterday.

Thanks Red. Glad your conversations with DH show you both want the same thing. I really don't think anyone is ever truly ready and even if you think you are, there will always be things that catch you by surprise. Go on - jump in!

bear not much to add to what others have said, but have some and . I hope you get a bfp one way or another - did you start this Fred? If not, is it time for a new one and can that be good luck for you to start it?
No news here, the witch is gone and the cape is drying on the airer, so we're nearly ready for many many shaggings at Humpty Towers.
Hope everyone's staying warm!

Humpty Towers! Ha ha ha... I love coming over here, always a good laugh. I especially need it with a tough weekend coming up.

This Friday marks a year since my brother-in-law passed. He took his life at 23 after what I have to assume was a tough bout of mental struggles. Time has healed some wounds, but this is still really difficult for DH, especially with the date looming.

We've actually discussed what a blessing a baby would be at this time, a new beginning for the whole family. His sudden death was what prompted me to finally throw the birth control pills in the trash in the first place -- "life's too short," all that. But it's not fair for us to put that kind of pressure on ourselves. Sigh. We've come this far, we'll get through the memorial service, and all this TTC nonsense, too. Onward and upward.

I had a wicked migraine this morning and so stayed home from work, but have proceeded to work pretty much all day anyway what else is new?! No snow here, but it is pretty rainy and dismal. Spring is just around the corner. Can't wait....

Oh Red - I'm so sorry to hear that. How absolutely terrible and tragic. I'm sorry for you and Mr Red. It would be lovely for you to have your BFP now. I would happily give up my place in the queue for you if that was how it worked. Sending you sneaky hugs while no one's looking.

Thanks Humpty - no I didn't start this fred - I think Rock did and look where it got her! It's going to be a race to the start of the next fred although I'd hang back and tie my shoelace for Red Good luck with getting the cape back on Humpty.

I spent my snow day researching IVF and IUI on Youtube and I feel a lot less scared and angry about it all now. I watched one woman's 18 videos! But they really helped and she was so sweet - it was like watching a TV series. I didn't allow myself to skip forward to the end to see if she and her DH made it, so was nearly blubbering by the time I found out she was preggers with twins! A day well spent methinks. There's no crisps or snacks in the cupboard now though!

I'm about a day or two from ERTD. Did an IC and got a BFN. No huge surprise. Freezing my socks off here. That's all.

No need for the queue swap although that's awfully sweet! Imagine if we get our BFPs at the same time and imagine if we both had twins? Shaggers-fred babies all over the place! Ahhhh!

Two of my best girlfriends (including the one who just had her little girl) got pregnant through IUI, and another via IVF. The IUI gals like to joke that they got knocked up by two women, since they both had female nurses. IVF is definitely more stressful and expensive, but I think it's all quickly forgotten when you've got that young one terrorizing the house making every day special!

I think it's just common now -- our bodies just haven't evolved to keep up with the times, women having babies later in life, or simply having more stress because we bust our bums at home and at work.

Hello all. I have a fab new phone. LOVE IT!!!

Its amazing all the different options available out there for getting a baby. My minds boggles

I really need to start taking folic acid slap me please

I also i am quite happy not to start the next fred although if push comes to shove i will, eek scary

Take your folic acid, Cookie! Wash it down with if you must.

My cleaning lady (it's really the best money I spend on myself, period) was here today and she said, "You know, when you said you were home today, I thought for sure you were going to tell me you have morning sickness!" Apparently three other ladies she cleans for just got pregnant and she thinks she is "spreading the virus" around. I should stay home on Cleaning Tuesdays more often. Is that all I've been doing wrong?!

I'll second Red - hooya to you! Seriously, please take folic acid Cookie; not taking folic acid could mean you miscarry or the baby could have major problems. I'm taking the Pregnacare multivitamins which have the folic acid in them. Some people seem to react badly to them, but I've been fine.

Red - maybe your cleaning lady has a bit of a sixth sense? It's weird that you mention twins because that's been on my mind the last few days with the possibility of IVF. DH has twins on his side of the family, albeit his cousins, so not directly. Think I'd rather just have one, but beggars can't be choosers!

Also, Red you're right about the reasons for needing IVF and IUI and it being so common. I live near quite an affluent area and there are double buggies everywhere with twins and sometimes ones with triplets even! It could just be a coincidence of course! I remember though when twins were really rare and I knew one set of triplets. I see more and more in schools now too. Anyway, rambling on and don't know where I'm going with this, but thanks, again it makes me feel better knowing that potentially lots of other people have had IVF.

I'm feeling much more positive today. I just want to get the ball rolling with our referral now.

Cookie - I need a new phone. Do you mind me asking which one you have? I'm an absolute dinosaur when it comes to phones and will be getting my first contract in the next few months!!!!! Any suggestions of best phone to get would be really welcome.

Hi all!

First up Cookie I struggle to remember to take my folic acid too! I have to keep it hidden in a cupboard as it says mum and bump all over it and I wouldn't it past my MIl to have a good snoop while I am not there!

Bear although I have very little advice to give you as I know nothing on the area can I just say you are odviously as very postive upbeat person! Only been trying a few months but if I evre come to be in your situation I hope I manage it half as well as you do! Oh and congrats on the new job!

Red hope you are ok and you migraine has cleared up!

Congrats on the job Andie and I hope the potty training is going well!

Big congrats to Brassica on your new arrival!

And a big hello to everyone else I have missed hope all the shagging is going well!

I am in the 2ww, due ERTD or BFP in a about a week. Only manage 3 shags this month as I have been very stressed out with a club I am involved. I am alos having trouble with one of my good friends being a total b*h and I hate my job! Constantly feeling very teary. Still holding out hope that one of those times was the magic time!

Wow spelling mistakes and missed out words everywhere in that post! Apologies, hope you can all read it!

Quark I keep my vitamins next to the bed - first thing in the morning I check my phone and they are next to it so I remember to take them!

Red fingers crossed the cleaning lady is right!

Bear I love having an iPhone and it's very easy to use, DH has a Samsung Galaxy S3 but I'm not keen!