Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

[viviennewestwould]

Over here, sausage-wangers!

[Thunderbuns]

Crikey so much talk in here and how confusing these day 21 tests too. I totally agree there should be a standard procedure and everyone should stick to it so you know what you're getting and why.

Bloody hell boodle and happy, what are we going to do with these men? It is just not good enough! I wish we could keep a few pots of sperm in the fridge and use them at the right time. It would certainly take the pressure off a bit.

[Fairydogmother]

Sorry mini moan coming

I have a 'baby shower' today. I'm not very well, feel a bit sick and now I've got to sit through PARTY GAMES. O please

[h313n]

I don't think I could cope with a baby shower, you have my sympathy. Maybe arrive with a bag of baby dolls and throw them at the pregnant woman. That would be a baby shower would it not? I have now reached the point where I can be happy for women who are pregnant if they have been trying for over a year. Otherwise I'm just jealous. Horrible but true.....

[Boodle9]

Oh no, Happy! Not another one! Thunder and I will shift up and make some room on the 'not a chance in hell' sofa.

Fairy, baby showers are the worst. I had to go to one a few months ago and it was the day AF arrived. Such an awful day. Didn't help that the mother-to-be was someone who, at the absolute most, had been trying for 3 months. Earlier in her pregnancy she found out we'd been TTC for a while...so she gave me a pack OPKs saying how useful she'd found them but hadn't used many as she got pregnant so quickly...!

Yes, yes, happy for her, blah, blah, blah, but ARRRRRRRGH!

[Boodle9]

Bunny, is it your friend's surgery today? I hope it goes well. x

[happylass]

Thanks Boodle
I actually may just get away with it as DP goes away Friday and back late Sunday. OV due Sat/Sunday. Other option is four hour drive with him straight from school on Friday, hanging around in the back of beyond all weekend on my tod then back late Sunday. Not sure my TTC dedication can stretch that far??

Hope all goes well for your friend Bunny

[barkingtreefrog]

It's H313n here, was feeling a little weird using my RL name without the numbers obviously so I've gone anonymous in hindsight. ish.

Happy I share your frustration. The one day we missed DTD last cycle during peak time was the O day on the CBFM as DP was away at a stag do. In a cruel twist of fate it's likely that this cycle's O day will be when I'm away on the corresponding hen do..... Argh!! I'll be back by lunchtime on Sunday but he'll be away visiting his brother and not back until late evening. However I have such irregular cycles there's a possibility that O will fall mid week instead.... fx...

But I've pretty much given up hope until I hear from the doctor that all my various concerns are not anything to worry about. GP appointment to collect our test results on Monday.....

[Thunderbuns]

No that would be dedication eh, happy! Sounds like you can dtd fri and sun anyway so should be ok?

With cb digi opk the best chances are to dtd on the day of the smiley and the next few days- is that right?

barking, fx for you and the results on mon.

[Fairydogmother]

It's my best friend who's pregnant but she didn't want all the stupid games! Another girl took over organising and we've ended up with this rubbish lol. I'm crying off early as this chest infection is making me so ill so least I have an excuse! X

[Pipbin]

I'd like to go on record to say that I hate baby showers.
I mean really its just 'look at me, I'm pregnant, bring me gifts'. Knob off, why should I? So you are up the stick, well done you. Don't force me to come to your house and bring you a gift.
Fortunately none of my near by friends have or want children, and the only people who have had babies are not the kind of people to have baby showers.
Oh, and it's 10dpo here and no spotting yet. Which is unheard of for me. If nothing else the Lap and Dye seems to have knocked that on the head.

[barkingtreefrog]

Agreed. stupid american nonsense I can't imagine any of my friends having baby showers and I might have to disown them anyway if they did I know of three friends currently ttc but they've all been trying between 1-3 years now so I would actually be genuinely happy for any of them if they managed to have a baby, it'd also give me hope!! I still wouldn't attend a baby shower though.

[Bunnygirlie]

boodle happy thanks for your best wishes, my best bud is doing well following her op, fingers crossed she can come home today

Ref baby showers, I concur! Stoooopid American things, I have been to two pre-baby gatherings (as I prefer to call them) but neither expected presents and one was just afternoon tea in a pub which was just a lovely way of wishing her a happy baby! 

Can I join you all on the 'not a chance in hell sofa' ? tried to DTD this morn and it didn't happen. AF due any day now so it doesn't matter but I am worried that next week when it does matter that things will stay the same

[Fairydogmother]

I now firmly hate baby showers. Utter rubbish - like a hen do twisted to involve someone pregnant. They had bunting up and balloons plus a stupid sash. I literally was struggling to breathe so I only stayed an hour but never have I been so glad of an excuse. To be fair none of this was the mother to bes fault as she didn't organise or ask for anything.

I just couldn't get out quick enough

[Boodle9]

Come on Bunny, room on the sofa of Immaculate Conception for ALL the elderberries. Glad your friend is doing well too!

I'm sooooo glad it's not just me that hates baby showers! I do like the idea of an afternoon tea type thing but the one and only baby shower I've been to started out with that intention but still turned into a presents and games affair.

Now this talk of O day (not to be confused with your O face, although hopefully the two could be linked...) is puzzling me a touch - I'm sensing some people are worrying about not being able to do it on THE day of ovulation? (I.e. the day of the temperature drop.) Didn't someone post a link recently that suggested that, actually, chances of conception from day of ovulation weren't that high and 1-2 before were statistically best? Did I dream that? I'm sure I've read it recently but a quick flick back through the thread hasn't helped!

[barkingtreefrog]

I think you're right, I just like to make sure all bases are covered. If we don't DTD at least every other day leading up to peak time, and every peak/O day, I get this nagging 'would I have got a BFP if we'd done it that extra time? Have we not made the most of this cycle?' Crazy, as I know it's recommended to just DTD every other day through the cycle, but that's where I'm at...

I thought O day was the day before your temperature dropped though, as your temperature drops after you have ovulated? Hence temping telling you when it has happened so you can track it's happening and whether you DTD at the right time, but too late to do much about about it.

[Fairydogmother]

Gp told me to get busy at least 2 days before the big o and through the whole few days. Says that it's better to have wee lads in there hanging about! Seriously have no idea about temperatures tho lol

[CaptainMollingtonCholmondeley]

It's a temp spike that shows OV has taken place. At this point it is too late for the swimmers to get there as the egg only lives 24 hours and the swimmers aren't that fast.

You want to be at it like bunnies from the first sign of ewcm, as this makes your fanjo less acidic (swimmer-friendly) and provides easy swimming lanes for the swimmers, so they can get to your tubes in time to meet the egg.

The spikes important as, unlike the OPKs it proves OV actually took place. The OPK's show the hormone surge that comes before OV but not OV itself. So ewcm + opk positive = get busy.

If your temps spikes then stays high that's a good sign if success. Personally I don't temp after seeing the spike because I obsess in a bad way otherwise.

Lesson over! X

[Boodle9]

Barking Oh yes! I know exactly what you mean about wanting to get on with it as much as possible, and the whole 'what if we'd just done it once more' feeling! I just didn't want people focusing on Ov day itself as the 'be all and end all'. In Happy's case (hope you don't mind me referencing you, Happy) for example, if her OH is away until Sunday, and Ov is due Sat/Sun then she'd be best concentrating on DTD on Thu and Fri am, if possible, rather than Sun?

You are also right about temping being quite a 'retrospective' tool for tracking ovulation. However, you are looking for a RISE, not a drop in temperature to pinpoint ovulation. The higher temperatures are linked to the higher levels of progesterone in your body. I track with fertility friend and it needs to see 3 days of a sustained temperature rise before it puts ovulation in. You do not want to see your temperatures dropping after ovulation as this usually means your progesterone levels are dropping and AF is on here way.

Not sure I've explained that very well...!

[Boodle9]

Cross-posted and Captain's explanation was way better! I'm such a rambler!!!

[Bunnygirlie]

captain at it like bunnies?!? I wish my nickname was literal!!!

We'll need a new thread soon, I will get it ready for us!

[happylass]

Boodle you may use me as an example anytime just to add to that my temp drop is always on cd11 and spike cd12. As I get OV pain on cd 12 I always thought that's when I OV. But since temping I realised I may have been timing things a little late. In the case of next weekend we will probably DTD Thursday night before DP goes away and that should cover it (along with regular sex in the days before that of course!) I'm totally with barking though in that if I miss any days in shag week I always think what if that was the one that would get me upduffed ?? seriously considers 4 hour trek to DTD next weekend

[Boodle9]

Would the 4 hour trek be to somewhere pleasant? That could influence the decision somewhat!

[happylass]

Bangor so, er no!

[happylass]

[Boodle9]

Hmmm - if the weather stays as it is, BRRRRRRR! Don't know if I could handle a 4 hour drive for that!