Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

[viviennewestwould]

Over here, sausage-wangers!

Just thinking about a mountain of washing/ironing gets my heart racing a little bit faster (not in a sexy way, I should clarify). Waltzes out indeed! If I had set my minions on you, you'd be racing out full pelt and swearing that you've made a terrible mistake - you don't want any children after all! It's amazing that I'm still TTC to be honest - teaching doesn't always make you want it more, that's for certain!

(Leaves merkin to do her own thing now, and settles back to watch the ensuing battle of the champion shaggers between happy and h313n!)

Who will concede the crown?? I am genuinely interested in this one. fight fight fight fight sounding like a gay man at a nightclub brawl

If happy and h313n can keep this up, we could fill this thread up and be onto the quest for the Immaculate Conception (I feel it needs capitals, yes?) by the weekend!

Can anyone tell I'm trying to avoid marking/report writing?

Ouch!

I want the super shagger crown! DTD every SINGLE day for the past 3 weeks apart from one lol. But us fairydogmothers are randy hehehe

Symptom list is as follows;

Sore boobs
Small cramping of lower abdomen
Peeing like crazy

But that could mean 1000 other things! Currently got a stinking chest infection and in bed with strepsils . So so want a glass of

Fairy I think that gives you the crown. However it may take some wrestling to get it off happy.

Good early symptom spotting... when's your BFP/AF due?

I think I merit a Super-Timed But Super-Immoral Shag award: I was ovulating on Tuesday and I shagged the surgeon on the operating table [licks lips lasciviously whilst remembering surgeon's scrumptious sausage]

Well done, Fairy, you win!!

Why does the cynical me hear some 'well wisher' suggesting that perhaps you're trying too hard?. Like the person who told me I'd relax and have a better chance if I stopped charting. Relax? If every cycle I thought that I might have missed the right days?! Or had to DTD every day to make sure I hadn't missed it? I don't think so!!

Lol I'm happy to share

AF due next Friday (day before our anniversary dinner!) so ill know this time next week whether there's champagne for one or two! I fecking hate waiting and I'm scared it'll be a huge no and then I'll feel poo x

A friend of mine keeps telling me to relax and it'll happen. PISS OFF!

We have always had an active sex so we're happy to just keep going as we are! Helps me sleep better so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! X

Active sex life - stupid me lol

Awe that's kind thanks happy

Cheered me and my wheezy chest up lol

Twinkle - we're on month 20 too so we said we'd try pretty much anything as well!!!!

Fairy - its like the worse thing ever to say to someone trying lol x

Who was asking about IUI? It is where the man's sperm is washed, blow-dried and coiffed, besuited in tuxedos and squirted with Old Spice. Then they are transported, via limousine, into the womb where they are deposited at exactly the right spot - the Spar shop. Here, they hang around drinking cider and behaving rowdily until the egg turns up, spray-tanned orange and teetering on her fake Louboutins. She cops off with one (or more) of them and then turns into an embryo.

                                        The End

As anyone tried robitusson cough medicine?! Not for a cough but for its mucus thinning properties? My friend in Australia has just emailed me a link to an article about it!

She's one of the only ones I've told that we're TTC and she's been so brilliant about it. She's 21 weeks and suffering from that hypermesis gravidarum (sp?!) and is still massively ill. Don't envy her at all x

P.s..Zelda West (the goddess of fertility) says sex every day is not advisable as it depletes the power of the sperm. 'Tis true I'm afraid.

My consultant said yesterday than stressing only affects conception as in being too stressed to perform. So relaxing, not stressing, not thinking about it etc is bollox.

Kerry - my consultant was hot too!

Don't give a flying fig what anyone says - we're happy to do our own thing!

kerry i've read varying things on this eg... news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8125934.stm has the opposite view

Fairy - Guaifenesin (in a lot of cough medicines) is meant to be good for making mucous slippery. Did buy some but felt a bit silly for doing it, Never thought I'd end up abusing cough medicine lol x

I've tried robitussin (I've basically tried everything) and can't say I noticed much of a difference, but have heard it works for some people. No harm trying it - it's only cough medicine! (That's my completely unprofessional view.)

Kerry, I loved that story very much. Please will you read it to us every night at bedtime?

I quite like the taste too lol x

Fairy I agree. You have to have sex to get pregnant! So go for it I say.