TTC 10+ months, Part 11

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

I don't know this movie critter but am interested in your best hairdresser story. It's a common complaint in this city - the lack of good hairdressers. Artemis my in-laws are on Skype right now, I'm in the other room talking to people I've never meet on the Internet

Back to the post ET, is it not about no regrets? If implantation required you to stay in bed then we would have died out long ago. The extra care is because of the intensive investment with the particular cycle, right? It's my belief that this is to an extent the same with care over diet. I'm more inclined to believe 15 years of partying could have impacted my fertility than I am to believe that a small glass of wine will cause this IVF cycle to fail.

Akuaba you're right... if this cycle fails it is more likely to be because of years of thoughtless alcohol consumption and waiting to TTC until my eggs were nearly 40, rather than because I had a cup of earl grey yesterday or did pilates 4 days after ET (pilates has got to be OK surely?) Perspective and all. For me it is very much about no regrets, or limiting them, thinking of the thousands I've spent and what I've put my body through, and remembering how shit I felt post-MC that I'd had 3 glasses of wine before I knew I was pregnant (despite the fact that millions of other women do that and don't mc). Actually one of the studies I read today speculated that the human race is so crap at reproducing, it's a wonder we are here at all, though 7+ billion of us tend to prove that wrong

wow lots happening and haven't had much time to catch up.

critter thanks for asking about me, very thoughtful of you, I hope work don't give you any grief with your position, I too am an 'oversharer'

nelly I wouldn't worry about which painkillers, I take all sorts of stuff for my migraines and have never been told to stop whilst TTC. Hope you feel better, good luck for the scan tomorrow

pout tell them to get stuffed about Xmas or just book a restaurant, sorry about ERTD turning up, have you had time to start looking at places ?? The timing couldn't be worse for you

sar I am sorry you are having trouble sleeping, you are not hogging the thread at all, that is what it is for, to say how you feel and what you think, big hugs

beryl congrats to you

kitty I was wondering about you :) wow not long to go at all

rabbit how are you feeling today ??

mrsd I agree with gin that you have to choose carefully, I have found that most people are supportive and I have told people at work, they have been great so far, I now feel quite happy to discuss it with anyone, It doesn't make me feel less of a person anymore, I'm over that, this is where I am at and this what I have to do to try and have a baby, if people don't understand that then that is there problem/ignorance not mine, and I'm not wasting time and energy on worrying about them, it does help to have people there to support you in real life. You might be surprised at who else is in a similar situation as you.
I also find that they don't badger me for information, some say they feel awkward asking me about it.

art fingers crossed for you for tomorrow and happy birthday too

doll good luck for tomorrow

euro do you need a bag carrier for your hols??

well I have started Xmas shopping, mainly for me but have posted all gifts overseas, I really can't be bothered with cards this year.

Kayla managed to find her treats open the pack and eat most of them this morning, she is sitting next to me looking like an angel she is most certainly our dummie run at parenting, not sure how we are doing

I'm booked in for my AMH next week, best to get it over with, not that I see it making much difference, my view is that my low ovarian reserve is my body not wasting too many eggs each month but think I might put IVF off a bit longer although would be nice to get it done before the big FOUR O
Not much else to report, we will be entering shag week soon, Barry has been ill and we've had some sesh fails so have my DIY IUI kit ready if needed

Waves and luffs to you all, sorry for anyone I have forgotten

doll the hairdresser is called Michael K but his salon is in Islamabad. If your work (or Ken's, aka James Bond) ever takes you there, don't miss him! He is a hair god.

artemis the shame - I have a really embarrassingly stupid sense of humour. Although unlike MrA I am a scaredy-cat and hate horror movies!

buzz when are you thinking of IVFing? Was it early spring?

Pout - the house hunting over Christmas sounds stressy. Can you crash over with family just for the festive period?

Aw Critter - you are a sweetheat. It would have been great if you had popped up when I was doing midnight mumsnet. We need some sort of worldwide emergency siren. You are right I did have a weird pre-ovulation phase. Lots of clattering and bashing which has turned in to trapped wind in the leutal phase.

I took Euro's advice - you were right, after a good walk, I did feel a little lighter shall we say . And I managed to poo today - hooray. Although still very rumbly and uncomfy down there.

Art - I understand that you might be a little dissapointed to not go to blasto stage. But an embryo which is going to make it, does so regardless of how many are in the dish and at what point they get transfered back. I clearly remember one nurse telling me the best incubator is inside the mother, not the dish. I made loads of blastos - but to be honest it hasn't got me anywhere. So maybe if yours go home earlier, this will be better. I know it's hard not to focus on every detail. To me it was clear from the beginning of your cycle that things have been going well and you DO have a good chance of success. Big big hugs. And very happy birthday to you and the arty gang . Chilling is in order!

Joy - you asked some great questions about IVF. I am glad that your post op meeting went well and now you can move forward. I am going to keep reminding you about your good FSH and follies and hypnotise you in to being confident about your egg quality. You will see, it will be fine. I honestly think your outcome maight be similar to mine. Not loads of them but a few good 'uns. Oh and I totally agree about hiding behind the miscarriage to defend what's happening. I often still use it as an excuse to the nosy bastards who ask why we haven't got on with making babies. For some illogical reason I find stating this fact makes me feel more normal.

Nelly - glad the headache has shifted. Yes please to the Nigella bars - can I have 2? Will they shift my trapped wind too? I don't think any of the stuff you have donesis baaad. And best of luck for tomorrow.

Rabbit - how are things?

Thanks for the lovely messages everyone. I thought things would be better once I handed in my notice. But my manager now wants to reject my leave date on the basis that others will be going on annual leave that week. . I can't factor in my current team and service needs anymore. If I did, I would never leave. We had agreed I could leave on the 13th Jan with me starting on the 14th. I have to give 8 weeks notice which I am doing. Does anyone know, can they stop me leaving? This also means I won't be allowed to have the annual leave I wanted (nomal for most people moving between jobs) as others will be on leave. I feel they are being a bit harsh. I have already offered to work loads over Christmas and New Year.

Also found out my op might be week commencing 28th Jan. But then again it might be earlier if someone cancels. . So my current workplace are threatening to push back my start date with the new job which means I will not get any annual leave to try and mentally prepare for the new job, then start the new job and then go in for an operation straight away which will be more than a laparscopy as I am definatly having lots of treatment. The recovary time is still unknown. How do I plan for all this? They are being bastards, they have forgotten about the times I have given up my booked annual leave to let others go on holiday. Rant rant rant [blash]

critter I was thinking of Jan but maybe more Feb March, my birthday is the end of March

sar I would check with your HR dept, to be honest A/L is not your problem to worry about but your managers also if you have A/L booked they really have to honour it, I would also go speak to your Occ Health dept too and explain what is going on, you need to worry about you and not your job, they will manage somehow

sar could you not finish your current job then take your A/L before your op and then start the new role?? Where I work we've waited 3 months for staff of your level to start, they cannnot stop you leaving if you have given your 2 months notice

Buzz - hellooo you are an inspiration!

Doll - we love homelands in this house. I can immagine some stuff is very innacurate. Are you having EC tomorrow? Good luck honey. I am really really rooting for you. And a glass of wine is ay ok!! xx

Thanks sar it is tomorrow, along with nelly's scan and art's ET. Big day for the 10+ IVFers! All reports to big submitted by COB in your own time zone please. Speaking of which, sorry these work issues really suck. Horrid. Sounds like buzzy has some good ideas. I don't know why I didn't see your message last night (I'm two hours ahead) I guess I didnt check before bed. I would have written if I had seen. Take a hug.

Artemis tell him it's dr's orders to take it very easy this weekend.

doll I'm with you on the (non) impact of behaviours during one cycle. King's advice is to carry on as normal anyway. Good luck for EC tomorrow. I'm glad you won't have to rely on a taxi driver to perform Ken's role!

sar employment law is not my area, but the notice period is contractual. I would be very surprised if they could hold you to a longer period. And if they tried, I don't believe they would have any claim if you were to just leave at the end of the notice period. There is loads of employment information on this site www.adviceguide.org.uk/ - it's the CAB's portal. I don't have time to research for you now, but it is all in non-lawyer speak and hopefully there will be something helpful for you there.

Don't worry about a couple of ibruprofen ladies. I think you have to take lots for it to effect anything. No doubt the drugs you are on will override it anyway! I think the advice not to take aspirin around IVF is simply because it thins the blood (which is why people with clotting issues take it during ttc and pregnancy) and as they are sticking needles in you they don't want you to bleed loads. If you are taking it for ttc, they actually get you to stop around EC for a few days and then you stop completely near to term because obviously they don't want you to bleed more than you have to during labour.

I'm in bed out of knackered ness. I'm ready for some leave and on a long countdown. I'm ok thanks all for asking. I think the two year mark and dark night have made me a bit fragile but nothing tent worthy. Had to do a horrible thing at work today and its right taken it out of me. I'm being a shit name checker but working from home tomorrow (THANK GOD) so will check in properly.

Don't worry about the emblioes art I always thought blasts were a rare thing indeed. Good luck tomorrow and to doll thinking of gin and nelly.

I'm going to sleep. I'm officially ancient.

Nelly Art and Doll good luck good luck for tomorrow will be thinking of you all. Hope everything goes well. There's been lots of level headed chat on here about everything, you all seem to be taking it in your stride.

Sar they can't make you extend your notice period - I second Buzzys suggestion though I'd rather have the op between jobs if that were to work out.

Euro thanks for that article link - have used it as my latest tool to try and scare DH into not drinking.

Oh dear I've missed so much, am not keeping up at the minute but big waves to you all.

Thanks for the good luck wishes everyone. Definitely feel some activity but really terrified I'll get sent away with my tail between my legs. But I will follow Doll's instructions and report back either way.

It is indeed a big IVF day - someone at nearly every stage! Gin, what news with you?

Euro it must be the lawyer in you that made your recent post on painkillers sound very authoritative :)

Rabbit sorry you are feeling so tired. You aren't ancient, far from it! I only don't go to bed early as I'm so stubborn. And then can never ever get up in the morning, and am late for work every single day. I'm officially useless. I do make the hours up but honestly how hard would it be to get up 10 minutes earlier every day. .

Sar the work stuff sounds very stressful. It's trite I know, but these things have a way of working out. And between Buzzy and Euro, I think they have offered good advice. If you can take the leave between jobs, that sounds like a good plan. You can have as many of the breakfast bars as you want; I have just made a fresh batch :)

Buzzy you seem much happier, I'm so pleased. Kayla sounds so lovely. Wonder if we can all help Euro carry her bags? Though that's a bit rich coming from me who is off on Honeymoon 6 weeks today. Hooray!!!

Just popping in quickly to wish doll good luck with EC tomorrow. I hope they get the Tehran 3 out of (and maybe some buddies who've been hiding). Oops, that sounds a bit like I'm continuing the homeland theme!

artemis that is indeed a sucky birthday. I'm such a wuss I got them to sedate me for transfer, so can't offer any words of wisdom, but am sure it'll all go well. 3 or 5 day transfer makes no difference - 5 day is just used if there are lots of embryos to help differentiate between them. I hope you have something nice planned for the evening. You are exactly 1 week behind me! Btw your description of mr a having turned French made me laugh out loud.

nelly good luck for the scan! It's a tense moment, but rumblings are a good sign.

I'll be thinking of the 3 of you tomorrow.

Waves and snogs to everyone else. I'm feeling less and less hopeful, due to womble grumblings. If my period comes on time (it did in the 1st cycle), it'll be here a week today. I just wish I could tell if it'd worked or not, so I can get in with my life. And the constant weeing, particularly at night, is pissing me off sigh

Just wanted to pop in briefly to wish the 3 ladies masses of luck with your big day tomorrow (well, today). Much love and hand holding
art apart from the hideous timing, I really hope that you have some happy birthday moments and that you do something great to celebrate when all is done and you're feeling yourself. Here's a birthday , in the absence of a cake smiley!
doll hope you managed to book a good looking and intelligent taxi driver.
nelly as gin says, womb rumblings sound promising. GL.

nelly the painkillers thing I became very conscious of because I used to take Ponstan for period pains. I had for years. After about a year of ttc, I was idly reading the notes in the box when very bored waiting for a much delayed plane and saw that it had "do not take if trying to become pregnant" in big bold type, so I did some research about painkillers and decided to stick to paracetemol. The ibruprofen thing was fresh in my mind because at the Create open day they were saying about how they use a form of ibruprofen to help time ovulation. It's not nurofen or anything though - probably a stronger form! Sorry for scaring you.

Good luck to all the IVFers, and Happy Birthday to art!

Woo hoo for a good scan heart

Hello all, gosh it has been a busy week!
Happy Birthday Artemis!
doll hope EC went well today
Good luck to all the other IVF'ers.
heart glad the scan went well
sar and pout I'm sorry you're both so blue, sending hugs, here's to 2013 being a better year in lovely new jobs and homes. Sar, I think just leave when you said you were going to, I don't think they can hold you either.
Sorry to everyone else I'm not namechecking - it has been a busy week on here. We've been climbing the walls a bit worrying about whether this is ectopic or not - had a scan this morning and gestational sac seen in the right place - so relieved, several tears were shed. No heart beat yet - only about 5+2 - but booked for another scan in 2 weeks to confirm viability. So fingers crossed it is getting comfortable for the next 34 weeks. I'm nearly feeling brave enough to join an antenatal thread, but not quite!

Thanks Euro.

Not a great scan. My bladder was in the way even though I'd just emptied it (or not, apparently). Then she started looking and was hunting about and said "what was your AMH again?". Lovely, obviously things weren't looking good. She finally found my left ovary. 2 follies, both about 5mm. Couldn't find my right at all as bowel was in the way. She thought she got a glimpse at one point and that there is one similar sized follie. Also I'm still spotting 9 days after period started and my lining isn't very thick. It's always been fine before. So basically very little growing, lining isn't great and I now appear to have bladder issues .

I keep taking the drugs, go back on Monday and see what happens then. I wasn't expecting loads but was hoping for slightly bigger by now I think? I've been on the drugs for 5 days now. I have a horrid feeling the drugs won't give me any better odds than no drugs . I am having a major "I'm a failure" moment.

I hope the other IVFers had better days than me. Happy Birthday Art .

Ok nelly don't worry. Your looking similar to me. It is difficult because dispite the quality not quantity idea we are looking for quantity because this is why we take the drug. Produce quantity to have more chances at finding good enough quality. Some ECs seem to bear little relation to the scan information particular the earlier scans, this has been said a few times on this thread, I'm sure you have read. My EC, which I did today matched my scans pretty well. I'm go though them for you is a second I'm just going to make a cup of tea and think about the timing of the scans so I get it right....hang in there, it's disappointing I know, even going in with the idea that it is likely not big numbers. X

nelly you are not a failure so no more negative talk like that, you have had a reactionand its just going to take a bit longer, perhaps you needed a higher dose to start with, look after yourself and be kind to yourself

mellow and heart good news on your scans fingers crossed for you both

Thanks ladies. I do love you all .

Nelly it's still early days - think of what happened to critter on injectibiles - nothing, nothing, nothing..... argh too many! Everyone reacts differently to the drugs.

I had an uber long period during down-regging - almost 2 weeks I think.

doll you sound very calm post-EC. I hope it all went well. You really are the anti-drama queen!

mellow I'm glad everything looked how it should. :)

I need to take Arts advice not to skip so far ahead! I was thinking the same about doll, so zen! But my boss pitched up so had to post quickly!

Doll I've only scan read thread a lot recently so not been fully following scans etc. would be good to hear your version when you are up to it. Fingers crossed you get a good result with the Beirut 3 .

I am finding the treatment a piece of cake. However it's like studying for months, feeling totally prepared, then walking in to the exam finding you learnt all the wrong stuff. Anyway I picked up leaflets earlier about German Shepherd rescue .

So...I was stimming for 14 days, which I believe is the upper end as mine were slow growing (is there any relationship between numbers and the amount of time that they take to grow? Not that I have heard). I have read between 7-14 days simming, you must have been at the lower end artemis right? I have found the whole process much easier than I expected but the protracted stimming with the low number of eggs was the must difficult thing.

I had 4 scans, one baseline after 13 days of downregging, two more days of downregging, then started simming. First simming scan after 5 days of simming: 3 follies of about 5mm on left side, ovary not found on right, bladder empty, most likely nothing doing. Second scan after 9 days of simming: 3 on left side at 15mm with a 4th that looked like it would get too big, right ovary not found but bladder full, emptied bladder, ovary found with 1 small one (no size given). Third scan after 12 days of simming: all 4 on the left side now look the same size, right side seen but follie not grown. Then I did 2 more days of simming, trigger Wednesday, EC today. 4 eggs collected. Im yet to speak to the doctor has he had to go to a conference when I was still waking up, Ken told me he said 4, I'll call him in an hour or so.