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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Just Shagging - JSers roll up for fred 12

999 replies

Kittenkatzen · 01/11/2012 14:03

Oh, the other fred filled up all of a sudden! Oh well here's a new one....(horse feel free to replace if you want to be fred starter, just didn't want everyone in limbo!)

Fred rules;

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share Wine and Brew with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. The reason for this is a closely guarded secret, known only to....er....well, nobody as far as we can tell!
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit).
Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

The link to Part 11 is [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1553148-Just-Shagging-The-lazy-TTCers-heaven-this-is-Shaggers-Corner-Part-11 here]

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers :o

OP posts:
frogchops · 18/11/2012 17:15

Red! Your just as bad! Everyone needs to stop living their poas dream through me, lol. Have ordered 50, yes friggin 50 of the buggers opk sticks. Being as its my first cycle post pill I figured I might learn something about when I ovulate rather than go by pain and cm signs. Also I think because its the first cycle is maybe why I'm 'late' altho I'm maybe not really late? What does everyone think??
Congrats boy!! Save some space On the grad bus for us all!!

DingDongBelle · 18/11/2012 17:21

Dh needs a Hooya :) He's been all clingy since yesterday and keeps making me Brew and giving me little kisses. I asked him what was going on and he said he feels all protective and he thinks I'm pg. Plonker :) He was like this when I got pg with ds but only once we knew. He just said he doesn't know why but he can't leave me alone. His 'theory' is that im pg and his hormones are telling his 'primeval instincts' to protect me. My theory is hes a nutter :)

frogchops · 18/11/2012 18:23

You never know ding, he could be right. Fx.
That would be BIG for my DP to do tht. We've come on leaps an bounds, but I'm not sure he'd admit or would even look for any signs tht I was up the duff. Good luck ding!

DingDongBelle · 18/11/2012 18:42

Ah, but this was all his idea in the first place. As was ds.

With ds, we'd only been married just over a year, and his bf had a baby. The day he was born, I got home from work to find dh on the bed with the baby pics on the laptop. Ooh baby, says I. Can we have one, says he. shag shag shag-

This time, I've been broody for a while but I've had some really serious health ishoos at Christmas last year and I nearly died, so dh and I agreed to wait another year or two before trying. Then he was drunk on his birthday in Oct and we did it without a condom (very unusual for us). After, I said to him, oops. He said no, not oops and wouldn't a baby be a lovely birthday present? I left it until the next day when he was sober and brought it up and said should I go see if I can have a morning after pill (can't have any hormones at all so wasn't sure if I could have it) and he said well, let's just shag and see what happens. :)

Your dp will be all 'check out my manliness and virility' when it happens, mark my words. They love knowing everything works down there :)

DingDongBelle · 18/11/2012 18:44

Ps: he's not right I don't think. We did it once in my fertile period this month (only go by pant snot not anything else but it matched dates this month) a day before I think I ov'd. Ironically, we've been at it like rabbits yesterday and today, 4-5 dpo. So I don't think he's right, I think he's a soppy idiot :)

Bearface · 18/11/2012 18:46

Bye Boy - huge congrats! Really chuffed for you. Smile xxx Hopefully we'll all follow soon - imagine if we all arrived on the Grads thread en masse!

Have given myself a massive Hooya today and feeling loads better thanks to MrsBri and resident scientist Ding. Thanks ladies. Sorry Hooya as it was me who brought up the variables question - didn't mean to make you Angry. I think you're right Red - I like what you said about us not being broken. Makes me feel happier. x

Bearface · 18/11/2012 18:54

Ding - he sounds very sweet and yes, a bit soppy, but you love it, you know you do!

Frog - where did you get your 50 from? Think I am going to invest . . .

frogchops · 18/11/2012 18:57

I'm thinking while I'm titting about moaning that af ain't here.... Why don't I just forget about it and shag. Mental note to self.... Get ur sexy on!! Lol

Bearface · 18/11/2012 18:58

Am just watching 'Countryfile' and the male sheep has to wear a big harness so that when he DTD with Miss Sheepy some chalk rubs off his harness onto the bum of Miss Sheepy so they can see who he's shagged! Imagine if this applied to humans . . . Grin Not sure why I've written this but amused me! Sorry!

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:00

In fact whole of CF seems to be about shagging - might watch further for some tips . . .

frogchops · 18/11/2012 19:01

Yes he does sound all lovely. My DP when I had that 'I think it's a bfp' moment said 'do another, I'm late for football, but good luck, text me' lol.
Bear the 50 were from amazon. One step ones I think £7.90.
However... If you live near a sainsburys I spied a first response ov kit and test reduced from £20.40 to £5!!!! Get there quick!

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:02

Oh no - the vet has his hand up cows' bums - not getting any tips here . . .

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:03

Blimey - a fiver - will have a look tomorrow. Bargain!

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:05

Thanks Frog. P.S What you doing here listening to me wittering on about cow's bums? Go shag!!!!! Get your sexy on!

frogchops · 18/11/2012 19:05

Lol... I'd like everyone to know that DP has shagged me by a massive baby shaped bump.... Thanks very much!! Lol. Bet these sheep don't have initiation issues! I bet sheepy don't give a shit when her fertile cowing window is either.
Do u reckon they all have bass chat about feeling crampy?
I can see them saying 'I'm 13dpbaaa' and the sheep version of ding saying 'test baaaa test!'

frogchops · 18/11/2012 19:06
  • baaaaa chat
Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:08

LOL Frog Grin I bet they have scraps over who has had the most shags.

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:10

Hilarious that you felt the need to correct an imaginary sheep's quote! You are so funny Frog - crying here

Bearface · 18/11/2012 19:12

Oops- *cows' bums. (English teacher - apostrophes in the wrong place - doesn't matter to anyone else but it's a matter of pride for self. Am such a loser.)

frogchops · 18/11/2012 19:24

Can't believe I did actually correct that. Haha
I've just realised we have apricot Danish in the kitchen. I bought it to take my mind off feeling like af was on the way. Shouldn't have really because its clearly not on the slimming world plan. But it was either by a cake or buy that bargain FRER!! The cake won ( there's some strength in there somewhere) so anyway.... I still have some ic's and I'm cleat gona do both. the willpower of a snowman in the sun

Bearface · 18/11/2012 20:33

Ha ha Frog! Off to watch Homeland in a bit - yay!

DingDongBelle · 18/11/2012 21:01

Dh would be mortified if he knew you all thought he was sweet. He likes to think he's grizzly :)

Resist baaa resist. Or: cake baaa cake :)

frogchops · 18/11/2012 22:19

I'm shit. I had both. I'll let you take a wild guess which one i enjoyed most!! :-/

34PinkLadyApple · 19/11/2012 07:49

After fridays boob deposit we had a weekend of h2b moaning to everyone we met about what an awful week he had at work (i did know it wasnt the best but not the extent hes been talking about) so now i think fridays drink and subsequent boob icing was as a result of really shitty week. He explained that he couldnt ahem do it inside because he was bit pissed, neeeded to help it along Blush. So i suggested shag sat abd he said no, lets do it tomorrow! I said it migt be too late then as now its about the right time, he said, i gathered that. Anyways, we went for after roast walk yesterday, had a drink in country pub and did it when we got back (he said, ill have a shower then get it up there, ok?) doesnt waste words, my OH. Hopefully caught it this month. Stoopid work bollocks shoykd be over next week so peacefull end to 2ww, then bfp!

34PinkLadyApple · 19/11/2012 07:52

Shit, sorry longness of post, im late for work now.

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