Just Shagging - JSers roll up for fred 12

[Kittenkatzen]

Oh, the other fred filled up all of a sudden! Oh well here's a new one....(horse feel free to replace if you want to be fred starter, just didn't want everyone in limbo!)

Fred rules;

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. The reason for this is a closely guarded secret, known only to....er....well, nobody as far as we can tell!
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit).
Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

The link to Part 11 is [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1553148-Just-Shagging-The-lazy-TTCers-heaven-this-is-Shaggers-Corner-Part-11 here]

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers :o

Hi Rock - I don't have any DCs so I'm coming at it maybe from a different angle to you. I think if I could plan my life without the intervention of Mother Nature and the old body clock ticking away, I would not be TTC until I was about 40 or so. I kept putting it off and putting it off and in the last year we decided we needed to go for it. I kept putting it off if I'm honest because of work - I really wanted to progress, but that didn't happen as quickly as I wanted it to. I also liked my life as it is, but we decided that we could keep putting off having kids forever and then it might be too late when we did decide to. Anyway, once we decided to start trying I definitely stopped having those thoughts and feel like it is the right thing now. But that isn't the same for everyone. Horse and Boy have some great advice for you. I guess all I'm trying to add is in my experience it's okay to wait and it's okay to have those feelings and it's okay to change your mind. If you feel like you might 'disappoint' everyone by changing your mind, don't mean to put words in your mouth or jump the gun here , remember that it's you who has to go through it all in the main and it's your body. Boy's last paragraph is totally spot on.

I also agree with boy's last paragraph.

Deciding to ttc is such a big decision that it's almost impossible for anyone to comment on what's right for you.

bearface One of my big concerns has been my career. I don't think now is the right time career wise but I'm 41. It's now or never. Plus, dh really wants this and I'm so lucky he does. But I work in a profession still struggling as a result of the recession so wonder what I'll have to go back to if I'm lucky enough to get pg.

Haha I'm just reading up on Naming Laws. Not that I'm planning on naming a DC something stupid, but I hadn't even realised there WERE laws about it. Check this out bbc.in/bPQ8GV there've been 2 kids in the UK named Superman on their Birth Cert!!

Thanks guys, I think it's more nerves about having two - far easier to daydream about it when not trying rather than thinking about the realities of how fucking difficult it will be

Have had a big talk with DH (hadn't told him I was having doubts before) and he made a good point - while I was unwell trying to sort childcare was a nightmare and he thinks I'm worrying about it happening again with a newborn (it was just a bad infection, so not anything recurrent) and I think that may be part of it. Think I've also realised how tough it will be to entertain DS while heavily pregnant, and I'm nervous about how I would cope if I got antenatal depression again.

Horse neither of us want a massive age gap, and since I've put my career on hold to be a SAHM it makes financial sense for us to have a fairly small age gap (plan is for me to return to work once all kids are in school).

Boy I would absolutely love a baby once he/she was here, I think I'm just over thinking things. We have decided to just not use contraception but not worry about getting upduffed and see what happens. I'll still be loitering a bit on here (too exciting to see who gets the next BFP!!) but I may limit the posting a bit and definitely staying off the more hardcore conception threads

Glad you managed to talk to DH Rock and that you've semi sorted it out.

Hello all - posted on the previous thread and then never joined in again despite checking mumsnet regularly like a right selfish cow.
Name: retrotransposon
Age: 34
Location: London
Any DC?: No siree bob
TTC for: 5 cycles (although one didn't count as I was away)

I am currently symptom spotting like a mofo. I'm on day 34 of my ~35 day cycle (ranging from 32 to 37 days) and have had various TMI things that could just be normal or could be pregnancy. The main thing is that my boobs, which always get a bit sore from ov onwards, are absolute agony. I gently hugged someone yesterday and it felt like I'd been punched in the tit. But it could just be normal PMS. Tell me to get a grip on myself, please.

boobs sore = definitely pg. In my (one) experience.

I wish AF would get a move on & either appear or not (due in a few days). It could so go either way but getting those weird 'down below twinges' I tend to get before AF. Gutted. How's everyone else?

well, we dtd on cd9,12,13,14,16,18,20, today is 22 and we started to go again but neither cba this morning... may be out for the rest of this cycle due to mum staying from tonight and still no bedroom doors on. will put the stag cape in the wash, I think. ERTD due about Tuesday but prob won't test then because my last 2 cycles were weird and could go up to 33/4 days. Que sera sera...

Girls. Now don't shout. ESP bear....

But yday my delivery of ic's came and I poas.
I hadn't used them before so I did it really out of intrigue. I must admit tht I didn't really read the instructions before hand and I did it and got a bfn straight away. Anyway I left it on the side, took my clothe off to have a shower and went to put it in the bin. Wasnt that bothered as it was only 11dpo. At that point I saw a faint line pink like the control one. I grabbed it and ran downstairs to DP. He saw the same line, grinned a bit and rushed off out to football (told me to do another to check!!)
Did another and got a def bfn (studied it for a good 20 mins!)
So, then I thought best to use fmu. Did another this am and another bfn at 12dpo. Wasn't overly bothered last night but was actually a bit sad this morning. DP was very positive though and simply said we'll try again this month. (For those who know the back story, this is good!!)
So there. I caved.

Frog but we were holding both your hands! How did you manage both a shower and POASing??

Really chuffed about DPs reaction though, so even though you had a BFN, fx for a BFP super soon

I'm still ill and starting to lose the will to exist. Everything aches and I'm still coughing, although not so much as before. At least it is distracting me a bit from the whole TTC malarkey.

My mum popped round to see me yesterday, and out of the blue said, "you had better not have a baby before you have finished sorting the house out, it wouldn't be safe" (we do have some fairly major renovations to do on the new house). I was a bit about her bringing it up, and just nodded and agreed .

Although, when DS was born I had no kitchen, and no heating or hot water and we managed, which my mum seems to have completely forgotten. DH and I just want our own baby together, and I think the prospect of a new arrival would inspire us to get on with the work on the house sooner rather than later

Did it with my feet waves, lol.
Yes when I said to DP he was off the hook....he actually said it wasn't a case of being off the hook. I took this very positively!! I told him tht actually I felt a bit sad this morning and he just said he was up for anothe month of shaggjng. So, things have turned. Still a bfn tho so :-(

Afternoon, girls.

Have just had a frankly insulting pay offer from my new job so am and sitting next to poorly sleeping DS fuming away. I am supposed to be starting next Monday but have told HR that if they don't put me on a relevant pay scale to my quals I'm not taking the job. Grr.

Frog Yay for dp's reaction :) This will probably not help you but... When I got my bfp with ds I did a poundland cheapie the morning before a fertility appt just to be certain before I started any drugs. Got a bfn, went for a haircut and some lunch. Three hours later I got home and the cat was playing with the test on the bedroom floor. Picked it up and there was a faint line. I was all and showed Dh. As hours had gone by we thought probably nothing. I did the other cheapie and bfn. BUT I have done a lot of poas in my time as I have pcos and so my period is very unreliable and I had to check all the time when I was younger and panicking about being late. I've never in hundreds of tests seen any sort of line even after days. So something just wouldn't settle. Anyway I hated my haircut so I went out that afternoon to another hairdresser to fix it and on the way home I thought I'd buy a pack of clear blues. Did it when I got home and faint bfp. At the fert doc the next day I was all and she did two tests with the little dip sticks which are what you get in an Internet cheapie, two faint bfp's. She insisted I was not pregnant as they were so faint and it was only with bloods that I got it confirmed. Got a bfp on a cbd the next day at about 20dpo.

The man at the early pregnancy unit who gave me my blood results told me you can't get a false positive, only an evap line which is not usually pink or a false negative. So this is like the opposite of a Hooya but if your ertd doesn't show up, poas again in a couple of days as if I'd listened to the fert doc or the cat hadn't been playing with my hpt then I wouldn't have known and would have started fertility treatment despite being already pregnant.

Sorry. I'm a poas-pusher today. I'm in the 2ww now for definite as we've js-d eod this week and yesterday and today I've been swimming in pant snot so fx. Especially if I have to tell the new job to take a running jump and just stay home and squirt out babies for a few more years :)

Rockchick I have my fingers in my ears and am going 'la la LA' to myself whenever I try and think of the practicalities of having another Dc now. Ds is young, childcare fees for two, my new job etc plus I will probably get hyperemesis again and be nearly dead and all minging pretty sick for months with a toddler to look after. And I will have to have anticoagulants all the way through. And we are currently homeless trying to buy this bloody house.

LA LA LA!

If people really thought about the practicalities of having a baby or a second Dec, no one in their right mind would ever do it :)

That should say second dc but the iPad thinks it knows better than me at spelling :)

Waves mums have some sort of sixth sense about this I swear. My MiL said to me not two weeks ago how silly we would be to ttc again at the moment. No one IRL knows we are ttc.

Love MiL. Ignored her entirely and js-d dh twice that night just to make a point :)

Awwww feeling bad for frog and dingdong today. Frog because, even though your DP's reaction is DEF a step in the right direction, it must be so gutting to have that moment where u see a faint pink line & your heart flip flops only to find out its not I hope what dingdong says is right & you could still be. Im mega anti POAS and I'm not even going to hooya you cos think you've had enough. Next month though, eh? Onwards and jigglybits upwards

dingdong how poo about work. Did they originally say a different salary to what they are now? One way or another, it's not nice feeling undervalued. That said, I'm on too much really for what I do & it's a lot of pressure - constantly feel I have to justify why I'm worth it. Different if it comes to being able to manage off the amount you're paid...

No one in RL knows DH and I are ttc either. Despite being poorly, must admit that DH and I got it on last night, and I am SURE it was a subconscious reaction to what my mum said . Understand where you are coming from too dingdong. I had very bad vom issues with both pgs, and spend pg2 hurling everytime I changed DS's nappy (there are just 17 months between DS and DD). Poor lad had to contend with me cleaning up my own vomit as well as the contents of his nappy on more than one occasion

And rock in terms of practicalities, another DC is utter madness in terms of our situation - new house which needs tons of work, crazy busy at work, and 4 DCs already between us. Add childcare costs into the mix and it is all a bit yikes.

Well done on sticking up for yourself on the pay issue dingdong and fx for a good response from HR

Thanks ding and boy, I'm not completely gutted yet cos I know its only 12dpo and altho feeling the signs, af isn't her yet. I'm neither pro or anti poas, but I did that yest just to play with my new toy really!! Lol
Am pleased about dps reaction though and I've got a feeling tht if nothing occurs this month, that I'll have more fun with him trying next month (this month has been tense at times!!)
Big shit about ur wage ding.... I'd be unhappy at that! Similarly the people I work for are about to take people on to do the same job as me, same title and everything, for more money!! I'm preparing for that argument when the time comes!!
Anyway, DP and I are going shopping tonight, followed by a Chinese! Hoorah!

Oooh now I want Chinese!! We're having hotdogs. Not quite the same.

Hi! Please add me too, i have been lurking for a while (cheering myself up with you lovely ladies all going through the same!)

I already have 3 children from a previous relationship, so i feel kinda guilty/selfish/neurotic for trying for another one when i feel like i should be happy with the family we've already got! This time seems to be taking soooo long im wondering if im passed it or its not meant to be?!

Name: Kiddingmyself32
Age: 32
Location: Leeds
Any DC: girl, 12, boy, 11, girl, 8 (i think DC means children, right? sorry im not up on the lingo!)
TTC for: nearly 6months and counting!

My boobs are KILLING me. I'm only 6 dpo so I'm clearly just being ridiculous!!

Welcome Kidding! Welcome back retro

Well done on the talk Rock

Bronte I got my first symptoms 4dpo last month so you're not being that crazy. Small just incase you are.

Ding, hope you get the money you're worth soon! Hurrah for the 2ww, fingers crossed.

Enjoy shopping & Chinese tonight frog, hope you get your bfp soon.

I've namechanged. It's h o r s e

I duno what's wrong with me. Fair enough I have just watched a program that ended with something sad. But not that sad, and besides it was only a program. But I've just been crying for a good 20 minutes. About nothing imparticular, I just felt so full of tears!! DP thinks its hilarious. :-/

Fanks for the support ladies. It's not so much the actual amount of money. It's that there is a specific payscale and I should, according to their own actual policy which I looked up, be about point 11/12. They have offered me an unqualified lecturer spine point 6. I thought it must be a mistake as I am very highly qualified (for what I do) and so I called HR. They gave me some crap that every lecturer starts on that wage no matter qualifications. Which is in conflict with their actual policy. So I told them I can't accept the position on sp6 and gave them til tomorrow to think about it. It's especially annoying as I have been specifically recruited to rescue a course which is in a lot of trouble, and on that point would be leading a dept in which I would be the only ft staff member, and the line manager for about 4 other staff members, and the lowest paid person there despite being the most highly qualified. Am all

At least it will all take my mind off the dreaded 2ww. I'm terrible at this and will probably need a chorus of hooya's every day from now (a measly 1dpo) until poas-day. Must. Not. Poas. Early. Must. Not. Poas. Early...

Welcome, Kidding

Waves I'm dreading the vom. I was hospitalised a few times with ds as I got so bad I couldn't even hold down ice chips and was badly dehydrated. I had almost the whole pg off work. I literally ate nothing but Bernard Matthews turkey drummers the entire 9 months as they were the only thing that I could tolerate. HG reoccurs in 80% of hg pregnancies so I will be camping out in the docs for drugs with my bfp still in hand :)