The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

[maamalady]

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

PS

I'm not diffed. I have had my IUI appt through to start learning how to do the needles. 29th November.

Miserable weather here too. I am feeling a bit smug due to cycling twenty miles this morning though :)

Frankel - I always assume I'm not diffed. It's just easier than the endless up and down of hope and misery - if I assume not pregnant, it's much less upsetting.

Frank, me too. I have only ever done three pregnancy tests, as I never believe I am so there's no point wasting the money. It's funny, even when we first started, despite us both being healthy, "normal", slim non smokers I never thought I would get pregnant. That's why I joined the BESH one month in.

evil, that's what I think, but HWHNN is of the "positive mental attitude" school of thought. He's not suggesting that I should think I'm pregnant every time, but says (and he has a point) that I should concentrate on the positives - I reacted quickly to the drugs, I grew 2 luffly big follicles, we had the sechs at the right time & I ovulated. We've done everything we can.

He balances me (aka moody old cow) out quite well!

I always try to tell myself I'm not diffed but symptom spotting always gets the better of me. I never imagined we would have trouble.

On an aside - AAARRRGGGHHH my team at work are so fucking needy!!!

Rie I am with you. I haven't used a pregnancy test in months and months. There's no point. I've even given up symptom spotting. I do temp for the last few days of the cycle though, so I get a bit of warning when Droid is about to arrive.

And I was exactly the same - I just knew we would have problems. I went to the GP after 5 cycles. I thought we might as well get the ball rolling.

Me too. I have honestly somehow known since I was at school practically that this would not work normally for me.

I've had an inkling something was wrong in my plumbing since school too. I was almost 15 before I started my periods and they were all over the place for about a year (bleeding every 2 weeks) before they put me on the pill.

My periods have been.fucked for years - super heavy long bleeds including the aforementioned 30 day droid yet I didn't take this as a sign. What a fucking idiot.

Me too, although I didn't have anything really concrete to make me think that. Slightly wonky cycles (4-6 weeks long), a possible pcos diagnosis but I always just knew.

The only time when I thought I might be wrong was in the 9 months between me having what I am sure was a chem preg and us properly starting trying. In that time I thought if it had almost happened by accident then maybe it would be alright. But no.

Right, I'm off now to visit the newborn. Wish me luck!

Good luck Shaggy, I've not seen Oliver yet. He had to stay in hospital for observation last night as he was very sleepy and generally a bit poorly. Nothing wrong with him, it's likely that the induction was a bit of a shock to his system is all.

I always just knew, despite my having a droid every month without fail since I was 13 and a half! For ages I wasn't bothered about baybees, then I got to 34 and started minding when other people made announcements and deduced that we perhaps should start trying too. But I never thought it would work and time just lapsed by. Suddenly I am 38 next birthday.

Funny old world, ain't it?

Good luck, europa.

Yup, frankel and winkly. I went through sixth form bleeding on more days than not, and occasionally flooding through super tampax in half an hour. And then in my late twenties somehow went to two or three droids a year. Why in God's name I didn't start getting myself in order two years before starting ttc I can't think.

How're things today, aries?

I wrote a long and friendly chatty one which got eaten by the internet gormlies. But the bottom line was:

Good luck shagger, you will survive the newborn. I am really impressed, I am due my first baby visit this coming weekend, looking forward to seeing the parents, not having the babe thrust in my arms, but they know so might be restrained

And STERN look at norf for working too hard. Don't do it. It is not worth it. I was back straight away but did a fair bit of sneaky cries, hiding in the loos and not being particularly productive. Now I am back to speed, my manager is a little shocked about my productivity. It was down a lot for the first few months in this job.

And sneaky pets and spidery soup for Arie. I am just sorry.

Oh and on premonition about this shite ttc journey [boaking smiley, with a witches hat, of course]. I had none. I was early to normal starting periods, fairly regular and utterly paranoid about getting diffed before. My parents had trouble too, so I always knew it was a possibility. But I was honestly quite surprised I didn't get instadiffs like my sister, she had 3

I always assumed I'd need IVF, in fact I can remember talking to a tutor at school about it and she told me about her twin nieces who were IVF babies. If you said that to an insta-diff they would instantly assume BESHness was due to negative thinking. I'd probably forced to tell them to fuck off.

My boobs really hurt :( AF is on it's way, I'm mega hungry, farty (although that could be the veg from my tea) and now I'm feeling sick because we've had no T&Ters due to pissing down rain so obviously I've had to try and get rid of all the chocolate .my.self.obviously.

Sorry to hear things have got worse with your dad rie. My mum gave us cause for concern a while back, almost borderline bi polar and it was scary not knowing how things were turning out. Thankfully a review of her meds and acknowledgement that menopause mixed with depression needs tighter control than she was willing to admit at the time saw her actually get sorted but she still has moments and it panics me a bit.

north take it easy! Nothing is more important than your health, it really isn't.

Evening BESH. The newborn was gorgeous - happily snuggled in my arms for most of the visit. KFZK held him too . There is something about a tiny baby cradled in manly arms.

I'm wiped out though. I feel completely knackered - I have all day. Maybe I am coming down with something. Meh.

Norf I hope you are not overdoing it, lovely.

Where are you cycle-wise, shagster?

I know what you mean about men with babies.

I saw Occupational Health today and, after a surprising but brief moment of choking back tearfulness, we had a v sensible and helpful chat. She's going to recommend that I work mornings only for a fortnight and that I access the department counselling service.

Your work sound nice Norf

Well done norf. Are you actually going to do counselling? That sounds like a good plan. And ten points to your occie healf!

Public sector fluffiness, rie. Quite gold-plated hand-holding in some ways. Less so in others.

Going to phone the counselling service tomorrow.

Evening all! Re testing etc, initially I wasn't too bad, then discovery of Internet cheapies sent me menkul. I had scaled back the testing. Idle curiosity made me test with the BFP due to the epic vomming [henvy] I assumed we'd win a baybee dead easy. But then I guess it was different cos it wasn't my plumbing in the end?

drizz fanks for asking re work (about 12 hours ago - I've been there all day!).. Tis hard work being on the ward! I am still finding my feet and struggling with find management although today wasn't so bad [hsmile] I'll get there. At least I am past the first trimester puking and knackeredness!

Ooh x-posts good on you norf. I luff counselling. I luff to talk about myself you see [hhmm] but seriously I think it'll do you good.

Did anyone catch what I wrote upthread? I am starting the Drucks in December!!!11! Brill timing or wot? A have a month to desist from the Evils of Drink

Excellent news that they are sending you the drucks and edumacating you rie! That means abstention over the festive period though? Cone join me on the couch of sobriety. I do not really miss the booze (I'd cut down loads anyway) but I will really, really miss Winter Pimms [hsad]