The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

[maamalady]

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

It's one of AlpinePony's classics.

[EuroShagmore]

KFZK looks a bit like Damien Lewis if it's dark and you squint. You can all have a go on him at the BESH Xmas party if you like. I can't vouch for his updiffing qualities though.

[bluer]

Thanks g for the welcome. Been trying to conceive just shy of the 12 months mark...not had Any lines on any sticks i've peed on so far, have just started opk this month. Wildly irregular periods going from 28 days (rarely) to the 65 mark. Most recent two have been 42 and 32. Had bloods done and currently waiting to redo as my progesterone indicated no ovulation. Today I have delivered our first semen sample to the lab and we're bring referred on after xmas.
I know its probably not as long as most on here and I'm still patiently waiting...
Oh and I'm 33!

[bluer]

euro thanks for the offer! !

[MissSlapAndTipple]

ohhhhh I got a second line on OPK, so had a quickie. Not very satisfying but got the job done. I've also had all my Next clothes delivered today and I am now the owner of some rather slinky pencil skirts and two nice tops and a lemon bag :) It's my 'fuck you' to my body, seeing as I'm not likely to get pregnant and fat any time soon I may as well squeeze it into highly inappropriate in a slutty secretary kinda way outfits, bastard shitty thing.

Anyway, I quite like the idea of an apocalyptic fred. That sounds best. Especially if it keeps it away from my birthday!

Hi Bluer and welcome. You will soon be suitably bitter :) Unless you get hooked on the kitteh link.

I'm loving the naked guy! The most exciting thing I've ever had outside my office window was a seagull on the building opposite that would dive bomb anyone who walked into the building. It especially hated men, it was hilarious, people had to run into the building.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Ah well gulls are very intelligent birds you see. Incredible visual memories.

[bluer]

Thanks miss and well done on the second opk line
I'm as bitter as anything according to the moany Fred I started yesterday so I'll fit right in. loving the idea of apocalypse...kittens are just too cute and cuddly

[MissSlapAndTipple]

Are they really rie? How interesting! I always just thought they were a pest.

You're welcome bluer. You sounded reasonably bitter on yesterday's Fred, it was a good start. I would love to give that miserable cow on there a slap. She's completely missed the point.

Talking of missing the point, I commented on a 'first month on clomid' thread on fertility friend the other day. The woman that started it came in again a few posts later and basically said we all had to stop worrying and that over thinking it and stress were the biggest barrier to getting pregnant. I politely told her to fuck off, along with three other people. She hasn't reappeared on the thread anyway so hope she's suitably ashamed!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Good work Slapper!

Yes, I am a fan of gulls. I think they're clever. They're only a pest because humans are such messy bastards. And they live over 30 years. Did you know that?

[HavingALittleFaithBaby]

bluer you sound like a classic BESH! Welcome :)

I have seen several naked men today but that's par for the course in my line of work! Crappy, short staffed day pushed me to my limits. Matron wasn't going to send any help til I informed him I was about to crack and on the verge of tears! Then I think he felt guilty

[bluer]

Thanks again! I knew this was the group for me when I started looking...my friend was on baby and bump when she was having fertility prob but they're all too sickly sweet for me...dust and dancing fairies yuk! Need a good dose of pull your socks up and black humour to get through I feel and

[EuroShagmore]

We have plenty of that here.

I'm now on my 26th cycle of futile fucking. And no one can find anything wrong with either of us. Black humour is entirely necessary

[MissSlapAndTipple]

'Nothing' technically wrong here either except I'm pretty sure it's my tubes not grabbing the egg properly and moving it along. I just don't have any stupid letters after my name so noone will believe me.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

A male Matron? Whatever next!

I am ancient 37 and have been TTC since March 2010. I wandered into the BESH coven immediately, because I felt at home. How right I was! All the originals have laid a baybee or two and I have been leapfrogged by many subsequent barren hags. Still keep coming back though. I think Jethro is the next most ancient.

Anyone watching Attenborough?

[HavingALittleFaithBaby]

Yes he is a rarity rie but ambitious male nurses tend to climb the ranks quite quickly. He's generally alright but he's in my bad books for not signing off my travel expenses!

Oh we should do introductions, yes? I'm faith (occasionally Fee from a NC time). Started TTC Christmas 2009. Long story short - one year futile sechsing, one year of tests - finally revealed DH or 'MSB' had a hormone problem affecting his swimmers. Meds for the hormones, lost weight to go on IVF waiting list and got diffed in the meantime. Am due end of April.

[HavingALittleFaithBaby]

Oh and I'm 31. I found the BESH because bugs invited me on a Fred in conception.

[FrankelDeBeauvoir]

I do t think Norf works at the MOD, but she must be nearby.

I am Frankel, aka Cavey if I ever get round to reverting to my original name. As a new BESH you need to know all about my current namesake here

Now that's done, here are my vital statistics:

31 years old, TTC since May 2010, but due to PCOS only actually had 15 cycles in that time. 5 failed cycles of Clomid and now waiting for cycle 2 (out of 3) of ovulation induction (aka self-stabbing) to start. If that fails, we move to IVF.

[SinkyGoodenplenty]

Fear not Rie I'm made of sterner stuff than that. But really. What a cunt.

Good answers bluer. I like the approach to camping

I also adopt local cats (and have renamed next doors, because Mario is a rubbish name for a cat)

So what's your story of woe. I'm 31. Ttc from 2009 ish. PCOS with iron coated ovaries waiting on clinic on 20tg dec. GHJ (ginger hairy jock) is the picture of health. Damn him.

[bluer]

Oh that's lovely...my sil is due around may and I am spending a week on holiday with her at Easter (booked before I knew). Like you Ariel I'm facing xmas with her as well...she's lovely and I'm happy but my mil did tell me they got diffed 'ever so quickly' .... Now she knows I've been trying but for once I hadn't been getting the heavy hints dropped as to when it was going to happenand then she dropped that bomb...

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

MrS has just ducked out of telling his sister again

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Who is MrS? MrA.

[SinkyGoodenplenty]

Bloody hell. As ever my shitty Internet connection has dragged my post into some vortex and spat it out several hours later.

So. New Fred author?

[SinkyGoodenplenty]

What's his prob rie? (we have not told out respective families, but I'm ok with that)

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Awkwardness? Shyness? Their idiot family never talking about feelings? We were there a few weeks ago and my sister phoned and told me how bad my dad had got, and I burst into tears at their dinner table. There was a terrible pause and they carried on talking about what they had been discussing before, just slightly louder.

[bluer]

Oh Frankel you good looking beast....very nice I like horses :)
Sinky...been trying nearly a year but I have messed up cycles that they thought was pecos but the last time the gp thought not...my progesterone levels are now another issue! No idea about my man (whom I shall call mr damsel fly or mr DF ) but we get the semen result next week...nervy but excited to know. I know its not been as long as most of you but as I'm on the cusp of further investigations I will listen and learn!