The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

[maamalady]

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

Don't say that Winkly! It's so difficult to know what to suggest because everyone is so different but you know you both want a baby and you love each other. Judgement and rational thinking seems to get massively clouded with this whole TTC tripe (Hence my bawling myself to sleep last night). I wish when we were born we came out with a sign saying:
'you will get pregnant when you are 18'
'you will get pregnant at 35 on 2nd round of IVF/ICSI'
'You will not have a baby' etc etc
At least then we would know. That's the most frustrating thing, not knowing.

Yeah I agree.

Norf I hope you manage to fix your dessert.

I am going to have a cup of tea and try to make myself look presentable for work, good luck me.

Morning luffly hags. So sorry what we're all going through at the moment. I don't know what MrA would make of a turkey baster tbh, but maybe if it's made into a bit of a giggle it would lighten things a bit?

Euro what utter cunts . This is my advice as a self employed person, and I've just given the same to my mum, as she has had a similar demand, albeit on a much smaller scale. Phone them up - talk through all the correspondence, explain that it is THEIR error, and that if you do end up owing the money and have to pay it, you will do so, but in instalments that you can afford rather than in a chunk. The people on the end of the phone are generally quite helpful and just doing their job.

Im back cunts hags.

winkly swollen ankles, as faife guessed is just due to long weekend shifts with lots of standing.

I love the idea of a sexual trip to lakeland. Or rather, am slightly agast and horrified in a middle aged, middle class manner.

Euro that's utter crap. This happened to me (only once though). I started demanding to pay it back '"within my means" - meaning about £1 a month. But realised that was slightly cutting my nose to spite my face etc. is your tax code totally wrong?

As for my meh. It much like winkly's last post. Live happily ever after without all the strain of trying for sex and trying for a child. It's so hard carrying on with this. It wrecks our marriages/relationships. It makes me crazy. It makes me intolerant of others. It just seems to be making me a worse person.

I went for a job interview this week. It would mean moving 200 mile away, leaving GHJ here. But it would be an amazing opportunity and for 2 yrs work would set me up for the rest of my career (I think). I agonised. My clinic appointment is in dec. I would move in feb. I decided that I couldn't put my life off. I would go for this amazing job and babies, well, what happens happens. (I was worried this would be the moment for and ironic mirical dif).

But I didnt get the job. Got to last 2. Close. But no cigar. And now I'm trying to get my head round the job fuck up, and recommending project baby. Meh.

And I met my mental friend and 10 week baby after the interview. Geeze. Other peoples babies can really be dull.

And this is on my phone, so apologies for the typing.

Lots of woe last night/this morning! As usual I have nothing helpful to add, but hugs all round.

I have a turkey baster, but it's never really worked properly. I don't think the bulb makes a tight enough seal. Not that I've tested it in lieu of sechs, but it's not much truck for turkey basting.

Sechsing has been off the cards for the last week or so, both of us have been struck down with intermittent tummy trouble, so occasionally feel fine, but not both of us at once. Of course, it would be the same month that I actually have EWCM for once in my life, and we missed it

On a cheerful note, we went to see Skyfall last night. I am so in love with Bond in general and Daniel Craig and Judi Dench in particular it's a little embarrassing.

They really are utter wonkers (I love this word - it is used by the Eastern European wife of a friend and it amuses me). I thought last year's was a one off as they asked me to do a tax return for the first time in years and they they have adjusted my tax code about 3 times this year. We outsource our payroll stuff (small UK office of a US firm, so we are not big enough to have a payroll dept here) so there is not really anyone to talk to. I am thinking it is HMRC's revenge for attempting to breed with a tax lawyer. When I got last year's bill, I instructed KFZK to fuck them over extra hard.

Slap that would be brilliant. It is the not knowing that is so hard.

Rie I was miserable off the booze too. I didn't find it as hard as I expected, but it was just shit.

On a practical note, we used a syringe rather than an actual for too large for the job! turkey baster! If you buy pre-seed it comes with applicators that are fit for purpose.

Sympathies for the swollen legs and lack of other job. Would be tricky to do the sechsing but I know what you mean about going for these jobs. I did (albeit local) and I'm glad I did because it was great experience.

Hope work remains soggy and not too busy wink.

Alwyn are you still lurking? How has the first half term been?

X-posts. Sorry to hear about the job Sinky. I've been headhunted for something and I'm letting it play out. I've turned down a number of potential opportunities in the last couple of years but like you I think I just need to get on with living my life. I'm not motivated to try that hard for it, but if it happens, it would be good.

Draf we are contemplating Bond later.

Ooh so are we euro but I suspect MSB will remain too hungover to feel motivated to go!

Morning cunts hags!

Sorry for all the shittyness and the crying nights. Me and SB ended up in a political discussion, which bordered on a row. We have different views and he was spouting nonsense which is close to my area of expertise, so I explained not quite as patiently as I should have. So then I left him to stew and went shopping, which was a genius idea, as I came home with two dresses which he loves. And are handy for work, I lost a bit of weight during diffedness and have been running twice a week since, so I needed new smart clothes.

I want BOND. But we have social stuff loads at the moment. Tonight it is friends with a baby. Yesterday it was stewy SB (to be fair he has wisdom teeth trouble and was awake half the night). Tomorrow it's his gran - again, Tuesday it is running, Wed it is social work stuff and Thurs is the night before our hols.

Okay enough self-absorbedness. Sorry the brownies weren't your cup of tea, aries. What would you like? I wish I could do something to lessen the load...

So sorry about the sechsfails and arguments, winkly. As to turkey basters and men. I would not get SB to jizz in a cup, if there is no medical professional intervening and recommending. We found IUI initially quite good because it took the pressure of sechsing. But I am loving the treatment free months we're having now. It helps that I don't expect to win a baybee.

I very much agree with getting on with life and taking opportunities sinky and shaggy. It is crap when it does not work out though. Sorry! I had to change jobs (contract finished and no more money) this summer. We continued treatment despite, which included a rather fraught IUI the day before my first day in the new job, as it was nearly the first day... Of course, that was the one that got me diffed and I worried a little about that, but ultimately decided it would be fine. I wish it had been...

Oh, and that is rubbish about the wopper from HMRC euro, can KFZK not beat them into submission again? I would be decidedly unimpressed to hand over half an IVF round.

Lemony, you lovely thing. I didn't mean brownies aren't my cup of tea - that sounded really ungrateful. Sorry! I love most food, but I love wine more

However, since last Tuesday, I have drunk just two glasses. Which is good.

Duh, everyone loves wine more. It is easy enough but not very easy, when it is still a secret to give up when diffed. It is just SHITE to have to give up in the run up for treatment. It would be so much easier if they could guarantee the treatment would work... No need to be sorry, arie, I just felt like your load with treatment and father is a bit much at the mo. And all I can do is offer virtual treats, but virtual wine won't harm nor will a few glasses now and again.

I'd love the sign at birth as well that tells you how and when you'd win a baybee. Then you could just drink as a fish and enjoy your life until then, it is the uncertainty that is the bugger.

Right, time for brunch with a bunch of adorable nephews for me and SB. I am wearing one of my smart new dresses (and look way hotter than my hot, but uberfertile sister).

Yes, it is all a bit much. Sometimes I can feel myself on the verge of drowning in it all. MrA is being great.

Chatty bunch this morning aren't we

HWHNN and I have just finished a decadent brunch - Danish pastries, scrambled egg and bacon . I've was a proper cow yesterday, I kept snapping at HWHNN and couldnt seem to stop myself. I've apologised and explained I'm feeling on a bit or a roller coaster at the moment and he's been luffly about it. It's too early for PMT (8 dpo) so I'm putting it down to the cold and rain.

Sorry for all the job/tax/family worries. What we need is a trip to Monaco on a huuuge fuck-off yacht, like the Bond Girls we really are

Unfortunately KFZK doesn't deal with income tax. So he is of no practical use at all.

Wine and food for everyone. And a mega box of colouring pencils so we can all do lemons drawing therapy, in a sardonic but necessary way.

I have made a new pudding, but am exhausted. It was a really stupid idea inviting them this weekend, I must say.

God, a BESH Bond yacht would be lovely right now.

You mean a motor yacht . One which we all lay about on drinking champagne cocktails in bikinis (with miraculous bikini bodies obv)

Actually why am I sniffing disapprovingly.

We could call it the Barren Boat. Because we're all in the same boat.

Ooo, Monaco would be nice... It is hammering down here today, proper real rain rather than drizzly crap. It's quite nice and rather gloomy all at once.

I wish 8DPO was too early for PMT. I rarely seem to have a luteal phase longer than 10-11 days. Moot point this time anyway, though, what with the poor timing of sechs and all.

All in the same boat! Haha! That is brilliant

I'm up for a yacht that has sails as well as an engine, though. They just look a bit more classy. The big question is, what is the name of our boat?

I can sail. Oh yes, sails are far classier.

Let's call it "Bunch o' cunts"

Of course, sails also require a bigger crew. We could advertise for Roger the Cabin Boy?

Hurrah for Bunch o' Cunts and all who sail in her!

Oh that has made me larf for the first time in days! Thank you draffers.

You're welcome!