The femmes fatales of the BESH are lying back and thinking of England

[maamalady]

As witches and pumpkins become old hat, the BESH are scrubbing up well in salute to James Bond in general and Skyfall in particular. Put on your slinky cocktail dresses and stiletto heels, grab a Martini, and start schmoozing with well-dressed secret agents.

Insta-diffs will be shot with a quip but without a qualm. Anyone else wanting to join can dodge a few bullets post the BESHtionnaire.

I'll eat them for you, aries.

Nice to see you back, bugs. Is the Clomid just next cycle?

It's late and I'm in bed but I just found a video about ovulation. Looks like I do need these bastard hairs to bloody fucking work or I'm not going to get anywhere. Now fallen to below acceptable levels of doom that I've accepted clomid when it clearly can't work and they've just wasted another 5 or so months of my life. Gutted.

I don't understand why a Dr would say the hairs aren't that important when clearly they are a key player? Can an egg just float in there by itself? Doesn't look like it. I think I need a damn good cry

Why do you think your hairs don't work, tippler?

Because I've got kartageners syndrome (worth a google, quite a lot to explain)I know they don't work properly. My lungs and sinuses are buggered as well.

Play a part, but not the only thing. Sub fertility maybe, but not infertility. It's rubbish, but try not to despair too much. Are they going to see you at all in the next 5 months while your taking? (I see a lot of cystic fibrosis peeps at work- not the same, but within spitting distance of the ballpark)

Speaking of dispair. All is meh. And working all weekend. Am wearing flight scks because my ankles are so swollen. And, no, I'm not pregnant.

Am reading but too busy (sulking) to post. Shall down my too hot tea now and get back to work.

Cunts.

Oh, and I blame you hags for making me refer to a rather irritating event at work as "fucking around because everyone but me s a cunt"

It was a weak moment. But probably didn't need saying iin a meeting...

Oh dear sinks that's not good. Why the swollen ankles? And who you sulking with?

slaps I did just have a good Google and at casual glance it does appear that its primarily male fertility that is affected by ks, so maybe the clomid will help? Can you give it, say, 3 months and go back and demand something else?

Tried to talk to husband about sechs/baybee sadness last night. He took it badly, very badly. Horrible row. Told me to leave. Didn't really mean it and apologised but feel sick and sad today and don't want to go to work.

Just had a read of this too *warning:only for the inanely bored (also very complex but quite interesting)

m.humupd.oxfordjournals.org/content/12/4/363.long

Seems to say sub fertile. Ill be seeing the consultant after three rounds of clomid to review so ill be able to talk to them then. I'm so confused I'm all over the place, this has really upset me and today I shall look like shit because of puffy eyes and shitness.

Love what you said in the meeting sinky. I've been tempted soooo many times. But then I'm not good in meetings anyway, sometimes I want to throw stuff at people! Or head butt them. What do you do for a living sinky?

X posts winkly, I'm sorry to hear about your row. DH and I had a similar problem going back 18 months or so, he didn't want to do it then when we did he either lost it half way through, couldn't get it up at all or couldn't finish. I made him go to the Drs for thyroid and other tests and they apparently blamed pressure of TTC . I took that as blaming me. We ended up having a very similar sounding row, hit rock bottom and felt like shit but managed to start a fresh after that.

Can you take a day off work? I know it sounds bad but I've called in sick before now when it's all got on top of me, stress of it all is just horrendous.

What about turkey basting? Might that be worth a go? It doesn't solve the lack of secshing but might take pressure off a bit?

winkles how awful! Are you ok? This shit takes such a toll on relationships. LauraP (currently PESH) was actually broken up from her chap when she got diffed (living separately and everything) - it had affected them so badly. I'm sure she won't mind me saying that, as it is all in the BESHly archives.

In other life cuntery news, I have burnt the pie crust for the bastard mango tart I was making for the IL visit for lunch. Waiting for M&S to open so I can grab a ready made one (and pray that the mango mousse filling doesn't then go wrong as well or I will end up serving them MISERY with a teardrop glaze.

Also, why have I been up since 7am, cooking and cleaning, while AMNH is asleep? Why can't I also just not care what state the house is in when they come round? Why?

I really can't call in sick, tempting though a duvet day is - I'm covering the late shift cos they're desperately short and I would screw them over if I didn't go in.

Do people really try the turkey baster trick at home?!

Joining you in the puffy eyed, total shit look today. Crying all night and not sleeping doesn't do my normally stunningly gorgeous looks any favours.

Yup! I did it for a while last year after an operation, wink. It was brilliant and really took the pressure off and it was during that period that I got diffed. In fact my very first BESH post, practically, was championing it.

sinks I get swollen legs when I work long days! Frequently sleep with legs on pillows to get them to come down (an issue prior to getting diffed FYI!).

wink how awful! :( something's not right and he knows it, hence his extreme reaction. Does he genuinely want a baybee? a conversation I had with MSB a lot Is he holding back because he's not sure about baybees? Or (like MSB) or do you think there's something underlying going on?

Yes we tried the turkey baster on more than one occasion! You need to mix the swimmers with lube to give them enough substance to head up where they need to be! :)

The things you learn!

I don't know if he would be up for that. I strongly suspect he would think I was challenging his 'manliness'. Part of his problem yesterday was feeling 'unsupported' by me, which frankly boiled down to him taking my specific issues (no sex, no baby) as me saying 'you're a shit husband' so he dealt with it by acting like a shitty husband so I think he would interpret 'plz jizz in a cup ta' as 'I have no.further use for you just your sperm ta'.

I read about it on here, laughed about it, told MSB about it and he actually surprised me by saying he liked the idea because it took the pressure off. Maybe not today, but it might be worth discussing in a would you find this easier?

faith he maintains he does want a baybee

I don't think I own a turkey baster

Can't you dress it up as 'i know how much pressure we are both feeling, how about a break where we do this just to get my fertile times, then when you fancy a fun frolick we can without any pressure of finishing or if anything goes wrong during it doesn't matter'. Male ego is a very delicate thing though so I can imagine how turkey basting might be interpreted.

Morning BESH. It sounds like a few of us are having a pretty hard time at the moment.

I'm doing ok, although need to be getting on with the sechsing.

I went to a spa with my best mate on Friday night, and then spent yesterday shooting and watching fireworks. I love fireworks night - it's better than Xmas. However I came home to find a letter from HMRC (never good). Saying I owe them £1700! It was £3k last year. I just don't understand it. I'm on PAYE with no other source of income bar a few quid a year from my savings account. How can the PAYE be so far out? Grrrr. It's particularly lovely of them to send the demand for payment in the run up to Xmas, just at they did last year. That's half a round of IVF. Cunts.

at hmrc! You need to get onto payroll asap and find out what's gone so badly wrong. Which spa was it? I love a spa day. I could do with one now.

The only plus side is that its pissing down with rain here and that generally means an easier day at work.

Dunno slaps. Maybe. I wonder if it might be better just to give up on the whole thing. Live happily ever after without all the strain of trying for sex and trying for a child. Or just crawl under a rock somewhere and not come out again.

Did you hop up a pay level or anything during the year, euro? Not that that excuses it - it's payroll's job to get this stuff right, FFS.