Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

[goldengirl71]

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

Oh calibee, I am so sorry. I know you must feel very disappointed.however, there's still a chance that you are testing early, some women don't get appositive til 17 dpo.

How long will your DP be away?I hope it isn't too long. It is a pity sperm can't be sent home in vials to do home insemination, sure would make life easier.

My boobs don't seem as sore, so at only 6 dpo, I am feeling less than hopeful.

How is everyone else getting on?

Hiya girls. Calibee, what a total bummer. I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say to put a silver lining around your cloud - keep yourself healthy in body and mind whilst your fella is away so that when he is home you know you've done everything to prepare your body. There will more opportunities to try for a baby; time will go quicker than you think - be sure to keep your body primed x

Tina, a frying pan can do a lot of damage to a man's head. A heavy dictionary hurled at force is less likely to kill, just maim not that I would have experience of these things

Thank you, Gum, Pink, Calibee, Notsoold & JBrd for your sympathies. I'm such a wuss. I have come to stay at my mum's to remind myself that others are suffering with pain and declining health much more serious than my stupid teeth and ovaries.

Calibee, don't be ashamed to admit you are still enjoying trying to conceive with your young, nubile, fit, black soldier. Who the hell wouldn't?
For me, the longer time ticks by without a pregnancy and the more pressure DP and I put ourselves under - and the impact that has on his erectile dysfunction - the less enjoyment we are getting from 'baby-making' around ovulation. There is huge emotional & psychological baggage tied to our lovemaking around this time - will he maintain his erection? Will he be able to ejaculate? Am I doing enough to stimulate him mentally and visually? Are there any other tricks I can be seducing him with? Is there anything else on his mind I can get him to share? Is there a position we haven't tried which can sustain his erection easier? Can he fucking hurry up and get the bastard sperm in me, like, NOW? Aside from this - and I think this is hugely significant - as recovering alcoholics we can not drink - ever. Not even one glass of anything. Not ever. Would any of you relish the thought of a lifetime of sex with your other halves without alcohol - ever? It's a bloody nightmare. There are so many things you can do and say during sex when you've had a drink which seem impossible when you're humping away, sober, for the fourth time that week.

Sorry...I've blathered again. Please forgive. Gum, thanks for the encouraging tale from your colleague's sister. What joy! I so want you to fall pregnant, my love x

Ooh, I'm on CD11 and looking forward to my scan on Monday, where I am sure to see not one but three 18mm follicles fit to burst with eggs with a physiological age of a 21 year-old. I will return from the scan to a naked DP, choking on Viagra, who will proceed to fill me with luscious sperm every hour, on the hour, for the next thirty-six hours

Mia'sMum, how are you coping after Monday, love? x

I love your sense of humour golden in the face of all your worries! We can't take alcohol either as I'm on medication and DP Viagra so know how you feel to some little extent . Enjoy your mums x

Love.y story gum! My cycle is usually 28/29 days so as you suggested as I am now on cd 8 we will start Dtd every other day from Tuesday or Wednesday til the Viagra runs out( he only gets 4 per month!!!!! I mean who only shags once a month?)

Poor calibee fx it was just too early.

Been thinking bout you also miasmummy

Ah, Pink, I usually can find something to laugh at in the midst of my melancholy naval-gazing. I am such a neurotic, anxious person at times - highly alert and highly-strung and more than a little bonkers but boy, do I like to laugh

Gum, I forgot to answer your question about the dentist asking me not to ttc until his work is done (gosh! he sounds Messianic). He said that a combination of the antibiotics I am on plus the x-rays he'll be taking and the trauma my mouth will go through will not be conducive to a healthy conception. And how's about this for weird: when I got pregnant in January I had just finished a course of antibiotics for an infected gland on my head (behind the ear). I went on to miscarry, of course

pinkfizz ermm, in the past, once a month was quite good going for us..... think we need to up our game a bit now though! (Although DH has already stated that weeknights are out as he's too tired after work - I sense he's making excuses now ). Reassuring though to hear that my DH is not the only one in his 50s and/or experiencing performance anxiety!

Hope your tooth is sorted soon GG - constant toothache is awful. If it's any consolation, after my first mc I had to have dental work done under general anaesthetic and couldn't ttc for a while but then got a BFP the next month which resulted in DC2.

I've finally stopped bleeding 3 weeks post mc now, so am in limbo with regards to my cycle. Any ideas on when I should try an ov predictor? If DH can only be persuaded to dtd on weekends, let's hope it coincides!

Oh, Womble, it's simply not fair when a man says 'no' to sex at certain times just because he's 'tired'. Not when you're trying for a baby. As far as I'm concerned, unless a man's cock is bleeding after having been savaged by a neighbour's rottweiler he needs to bloody well step up to the plate and at least try to get some sperm where it needs to be when ovulation is imminent. Do you have a heavy dictionary to hand?

and at your BFP after completion of dental work. Yaaaay!!

By 'ov predictor' do you mean OPKs? I start weeing on them on CD13 usually, knowing I ov on CD15. Maybe you should start when your cervical mucus changes to creamy? Just a thought.

Hi all. Drained after Mia's inquest only finished yesterday, so haven't been too focussed on anything else. Yesterday, the coroner delivered a narrative verdict regarding Mia's death, rather than simply a death by natural causes. While it didn't go quite as far as we had hoped, in that no specific neglect or failure on behalf of the hospital was noted, the most important sentences for us were these - "the serious nature of her condition was not recognised' and "her impending arrest was not recognised". He also criticised the hospital for not having senior paediatric staff on site to take the necessary treatment decisions. Further, under Rule 43, where a coroner can specify actions be taken to prevent future deaths, the coroner requires the hospital to undertake an immediate review into its paediatric care and management for seriously ill children, particularly out-of-hours, weekends and bank holidays. We are pleased with this, but have concerns as well, as the hospital has made changes previously which failed for Mia.

The inquest highlighted two potential diagnoses of her symptoms - unfortunately, the hospital treated the wrong one. As we already knew, Mia's port-mortem revealed that she had a bacterial growth on her otherwise healthy heart. While very rare, expert witnesses did feel this would have been treatable, if only her symptoms had been recognised... They were unable to give a better prognosis of survival more than short-to-medium term, however. But Mia didn't even have that chance. The inquest also showed that opportunities did exist earlier to intervene in Mia's decline, using routine medical procedures, but sadly these were not taken... However, we respect the coroner's verdict, and do feel that he has been very pro-active in establishing the facts around Mia's death.

Love you forever, darling girl. We have tried to do our very, very best for you.

Oh, Mia, how heartbreaking. I hope blessings are showered upon your family and that you find peace with the efforts you have made to unpack the circumstances surrounding the death of your darling daughter. Much love xx

That is harrowing miasmummy . Mia knows you did your very very best and love her xx

How horrid for you miasmummy....you take care of yourself x
Thanks to all for your comments re my negative test. I Have just bought chocolate, crisps and pistachios to drown my sorrows in. No alcohol and feeling just a little bit proud of myself.

Miasmummy, you must feel exhausted after the inquest, take very good care of yourself and DH. I hope the coroner's findings will mean better care in future for seriously ill children, though I know it is no consolation for you.Sending love your way.

woolywomble, it may take a while for your cycle to settle, though some women are right back into cycle straight away. DO you have the internet cheapie opk's? IF you don't I suggest you order some so that you can pee on them everyday for a while,as cycles can be so unpredictable after a mc.

I woke up to a massive hike in my temperature this morning, but I'll just put that down to taking my temperature half an hour later and won't read anything into it (massive liar emoticon).

wooly, I am sorry, I didn't mean to shout at the beginning of my sentences, it's my sticky keyboard.

Morning everyone, haven't checked in for a while as been away on a short break with DP & DS. Was terrified of m/c the entire time we were there I'm 10 weeks today according to my last scan, pregnancy symptoms are few & inconsistent, so am metalling constantly about mmc - it's around this stage that it went wrong last time Got another scan on Wednesday afternoon & I'll find out for sure. I just don't feel pregnant & don't feel I'm getting any bigger, which I was last time, even with mmc at 11.5 weeks (heart had stopped in early 9's).

Anyway enough self-indulgence from me!

miasmummy was so sad to read your update about the inquest; it must have been heartbreaking to listen to the evidence & know that things could have been done differently. Mia knows that you loved her with all your heart & did your very best for her..

golden I wouldn't let dental work stop me ttc - if it's your fertile days, go for it. I'm pretty sure half the population has been conceived under the influence of something - alcohol, or worse.

hopeful Glad you had a great holiday, Rottnest looked so idyllic. Fingers crossed that temp stays high!!

Calibee enjoy your last few days with your man before he joins up. Have you tested again?

Sorry I've not namechecked everyone - been trying to catch up on too many posts at once & brains are scrambled eggs!

Gum, I, too,woke up to a hike in temperature on CD12 I do hope this Clomid hasn't caused an early ovulation - we haven't had sex for days [stamps feet and wails]

Cheese, we crossed posts. I'm sorry you're anxious and feeldoom-laden. I hope the days until Wednesday fly by and that you are ecstatic when you come out of that scan. Much love x

Gum, aren't you on 7DPO? What, then, would a hike in temp signify at this stage? Are you thinking maybe triphasic?

Well, yes, I do like to think triphasic, but I would not make that conclusion after one high temp. It has gone from 36.67 to 36.89, and ,for me, that is a big difference. I know it may mean nothing at all, but at this stage I am hopeful, I might as well be for a bit longer. FF says I'm 7 dpo, but I think maybe 6.

cheese,hang in there, you will have another scan done soon. I really do appreciate how you feel, having been in your shoes before. The scans are reassuring, but at the same time I worried that the scan would reveal my greatest fears. I wish I could reassure you, but I know there,s really nothing I can say. FTYAP, and you are 10 weeks, which is fantastic. Hugs.

golden why are you worried about early ovulation? Have you had a temperature rise? Are you peeing on opks?

Gum, that is a whopping hike! I would be bloody excited (but remember..I was triphasic last month)

I have had a temp rise from 36.03 to 36.29. Today is CD12. I'm expecting to ovulate on CD15, as usual (or even later due to Clomid). I'm at my mum's miles away from home and didn't bring my OPK sticks. Dp and I haven't had sex for days and even then he ejaculated on my tits [waaaaaaail!]

Help! My temp hike is even bigger than yours, Gum! I don't want to have ovulated yet!!

Thanks for the kind words, hopeful I really am driving myself potty! For the last few days I have been obsessively trying on my tightest pair of work trousers, seeing if I've "grown" out of them or not!

I'll be back at work work next week, which will hopefully take my mind off things. Before I declare myself neurotic & insane

golden,that is a reasonable temp jump, but how does it compare to previous months' before ovulation temperatures? Mine vary from 36.17 to 36.38 this month(not as big a difference to yours) but I usually have temperatures over 36.4 in the luteal phase. I guess it really depends on whether your temperature remains raised over three days.

I'm not getting very excited about the temp hike I had, this morning's temp wasn't as high (36.82), but still high enough. I won't know either way til this time next week.I'm going to try and hold off testing until then. Sometimes I feel like there's a good chance I am pregnant, then I think, I don't really feel like I am.

My life is pretty darn busy so I won't be dwelling on it. I spent hours in the garden yesterday, and plan to do some more before heading off to the beach.The forecast is for a beautiful 30 degrees C, so I reckon we'll swim.

Hey all...hope everybody had a good weekend.
Well I am now 14dpo but testing BFN...weird that my temps are still up but I'm sure af will get me very shortly. Not too sure what my usual lutel phase is but last cycle it was 12 days.
Aww hopeful the beach is my favourite place. Here in the UK we have just been forecast a steady decline during this week to 6 degrees by Friday. Raaaa.

Hi everyone,
Calibee sorry to hear about your BFN though is it worth retesting in a day or two if your temps stay high? With my last pregnancy I got a BFN with FMU on d 14po and that evening was persuaded by DD1 to get tickets to bring her to Justin Bieber in February. Two days later my temps were still high and there was no sign on AF so I tested again ,mid afternoon on an internet cheapie and got a BFP, a clearblue digi the next day said preg 2-3 weeks!
I thought I'd get out of the concert as I should have been due in March but unfortunately now I've miscarried I've no excuse not to go (sad) .

Miasmum, sounds like you had a really traumatic time going through Mia's inquest, my heart goes out to you. It must have been so difficult hearing mistakes were made that could have maybe affected the outcome. I hope you have some sort of closure now and you have peace to grieve your beautiful little daughter. xxx

Goldengirl I don't think I've posted since you got your your Clomid, hurray! Hopefully it will do the trick (once your dental problems are sorted out!)

Gum glad you had a good holiday, exciting to hear about your possible triphasic chart. It sounds very sensible to keep busy and try not to obsess about it but it's not easy!
I have to confess to being in the 2ww too. I know we were supposed to be waiting a few mths to decide whether to ttc....but we didn't! I'm now 3dpo and have been taking aspirin daily since my AF a few weeks ago,as advised,we'll see what happens this time.

Hippy I didn't see your post about baby loss awareness week until after the event, but what a lovely sentiment to light a candle in remembrance .
It's my due date from my first miscarriage tomorrow and I'm going to Church, I'll light a candle for all our little lost ones while I'm there.

Sorry not to name check everyone, I'm trying to catch up!

Hello Irish - I'm glad you have ttc-ed this month.Fingers crossed for you.

Calibee - the fact that AF hasn't turned up is a good sign.Will you test again tomorrow? I've got everything crossed for you too.

It does look like I have a triphasic chart. I had a lovely 36.92 this morning,and have to confess to having "tingly" breasts yesterday - sort of like the let down feeling you get when breastfeeding - I've only had that before when I have been pregnant. But I know how much the body can play tricks on me,and how I shouldn't read too much into it. I'll just wait and see what my chart does, if temps remain high after 12 dpo,it is a good sign, but no guarantee. I think I'm only 8 dpo today,FF says 9, so I have a few days to wait yet.

How is everyone else?

Deige, any news on that job you applied for?