Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

[RainboxFX]

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

green really thinking of you. I'm glad that the MC is happening naturally but I am so so sorry that it has to happen at all. Today of all days...
I hope so very much it's not too painful. There is an entire tonne of KleinePoppet-love coming your way xx
(although, yes, some Kleine-anger-on-your-behalf is probably in there too)

rainbox and blizy love to you as well, will reply properly when less tired x

Rainbox- if your sil can't understand why you both chose to keep Dexters' funeral private, then stuff her. Hope you are ok?

Green, I am so sorry the mc is happening, it is so bloody cruel, especially today. Sending you lots of gentle hugs, I hope you are ok. X

green just big for you. Huge .

Today the coroner delivered a narrative verdict regarding Mia's death, rather than simply a death by natural causes. While it didn't go quite as far as we had hoped, in that no specific neglect or failure on behalf of the hospital was noted, the most important sentences for us were these - "the serious nature of her condition was not recognised' and "her impending arrest was not recognised". He also criticised the hospital for not having senior paediatric staff on site to take the necessary treatment decisions. Further, under Rule 43, where a coroner can specify actions be taken to prevent future deaths, the coroner requires the hospital to undertake an immediate review into its paediatric care and management for seriously ill children, particularly out-of-hours, weekends and bank holidays.

The inquest highlighted two potential diagnoses of her symptoms - unfortunately, the hospital treated the wrong one. As we already knew, Mia's port-mortem revealed that she had a bacterial growth on her otherwise healthy heart. While very rare, expert witnesses did feel this would have been treatable, if only her symptoms had been recognised... They were unable to give a better prognosis of survival more than short-to-medium term, however. The inquest also showed that opportunities did exist earlier to intervene in Mia's decline, using routine medical procedures, but sadly these were not taken... However, we respect the coroner's verdict, and do feel that he has been very pro-active in establishing the facts around Mia's death.

Love you forever, darling girl. We have tried to do our very, very best for you.

MIASMUMMY. I'm so sorry you have had to go through this, any of it. It sounds like your bravery and determination could save another child, but I wish it wasn't the way it is. You must be exhausted. I hope you can draw your loved ones close this WE and be looked after. You have fought so hard for Mia, now I think you should be looked after for a while. Take care. Xxx

We have spent the evening mixing the play list for Ks fifth birthday. Never thought I'd be doing the Time Warp while MCing....today of all days. DP and I laughed a lot. I think it's all there is left to do today. Life is strange.

'Night everyone. X

green sorry xxxxx hope you re physically okish? As much as you can be xxxxxx crap as it is at least , I guess , your body is doing what it should do naturally. Funny how ; we have to look at the smallest or oddest of actions as " good" hope u can still " enjoy" the party a little... Take care xxxx
Kleine loosing a child really hilights the good & bad in people .as well documented on here my MIL( who is a complete cow anyhow) behaved appallingly when we lost Georgie which culminated in a massive row 6 weeks later ( she was ringing Ant & threatening to commit sucide , whilst we were grieving & he had started a new job) with me having never spoken to her since. Which is exactly what I want, she's seen
Phebs once since she was born ( she lives 3 miles away , drives , 3 opportunities we ve given her to meet us in the local park, 3 times she's come up with BS excuses) ...but on the other side my family are wonderful & we ve brillant friends who've shown us excellant support ... ( we only list her & 1 ditched 1 friend who " was too upset to tell me she was pg 6 weeks after Georgie died... No love , you don t want to upset yourself which is fine, but don t make out you re looking out for me!!!) xxxxxx
Miasmum you re such a brave, strong lady you ve done Mia proud. You ve fought to the end whilst dealing with your own grief & achieved sustainable alterations which , hopefully, will help others in the future & prevent others experiencing the grief you have. Well done ... Pls rest , if possible, be proud of yourself. Take care , much love to u all xxxx
Love to all...
We had a lovely bday , thanks for all your lovely wishes. We met the MW who delivered Georgie & Phebs for a catch up
& coffee. She's so lovely & I feel a real connection with her then went for lunch. Phebs good as gold loved the presents we ve bought her , had fab cards & presents... Tomorrow off to Blackpool to see the illuminations & a family celebration with my mum, dad & bro ( tea party in their camper van!!!!) love it !!!xxxx
I count my blessings every day she's here as she completes me. I am finally content & so hope we can all feel this way very soon xxxxxxx

green how crap is it that the time you didn't want it to happen, it decides to happen. It always seams to happen this way. Hugs to you, I hope its not too painful and that it is over quickly.

Sorry to have been a little bit quiet the past few days, its ove time from today and also I've been pretty busy with the crochet hook.
I will try to catch up tonight.

Just popping my head in to send so much love to miasmummy and to green today.

Also to tell fan off, for taking the time to post when you are about to ov - really, we should ban people from posting during their fertile window...

Just a quick hello. So sorry I haven't been around the last couple of days. My ds came home from school with a bug and was sick4 England. Kept him off Wed an yesterday 2 be on the safe side but after the car broke Tuesday we had fell behind with the packing.Left last night for our half term holiday 2 Butlins an stayed in a Premier Inn 2 avoid Friday traffic. Eventually arrived at 9.15pm and my DH ended up being violently sick all night :( ended up trying 2 entertain kids until 12pm so DH could sleep. Got in the car to complete the final part of our journey and the car was broke. Been in a garage all day why they tried to source the part (non available) but they have done a temporary repair so we are now back on the road an gonna have 2 confine ourselves 2 the room until at least 2moro in case we are germ ridden. Anyway enough of our bad luck I'm do sorry I haven't been offerring much needed support. Everyones having such a tough time at the moment.

GREEN : So sorry its started...you are in my thoughts....I don't know what 2 say to ease your pain. Sending lots of love xxxx
Miasmummy.: Thinking of u glad its over just from a sanity point of view.....you did your beautiful daughter proud in your quest for truth.
Angel: A belated birthday wish to Phebs...glad you had a nice day. xxx
Blizy: Thinking of u and your DH x
Rainbox: Sorry about the shitty in laws xx
Kliene: Hope your ok x
Blue: Not long now wishing the days away for you x
Waves to Elly, Fan, Amy Split, Little, Too, Moomins an Whatever xxxx
So sorry if I missed someone but you are all in my thoughts I promise. Reading the thread even though not posting. Lots of love and hugs xxx

Hi all, thanks for the good wishes - I am just paranoid, but I guess that's only natural under the circumstances. Just been in a meeting at work with MD and a couple of others because a woman that's currently on mat leave (she had DD1 in Feb) is pg again, and due in May - I feel really weird about it, and I don't know why, but partly because we finished for mat leave the same day just before Christmas last year, and now she is due around the same time as me again. I don't have any right to feel funny about it - I can't even explain how I feel really. Just weird.

Green, just sending huge hugs to you, I hope that it is as pain free as possible for you xxx My DH is rubbish with dates too, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't constantly think about her too - sure yours does too, but you were right to remind him.

Mias, you certainly did Mia very proud, you have all worked so hard for this inquest, it must have been really tough on you, but well done for getting through it. A positive outcome in a lot of ways xxx

Babyh, what a nightmare start to your holiday - I hope that everyone recovers very soon & that you enjoy at least some of your holiday.

Rainbox, at insensitive & bloody selfish SIL. You really shouldn't have to deal with such behaviour.

Fan the woollyhugs that you do are lovely - such a special gift to make and give xxx

Hi to everyone - such rubbish times on here at the moment - I just want to send hugs & cake to you all xxx

Hello - where is everyone? It's really quiet - hope you are all ok xxx

Hello Elly. I was thinking that too. Everyone seems to have fallen off MN at the same time! Hopefully, they're out there somewhere too busy enjoying themselves to post! How are you feeling today? I'm rather more optimistic today. I've been really nervous the last few days and have tried to stop worrying and put some perspective on it. Have just come to the conclusion that I can't change what is going to happen and I shall enjoy being pregnant now and deal with any cr*p if it happens. Seems to be working so far.

Hello to everyone else and hope you are all ok. You're all in my thoughts, xx

That's a great attitude to have little - I'm hoping that I'll feel a bit more like that after thurs, I did earlier, think I'm just building myself up just in case it's not good news at the scan. You are absolutely right though, we can't change what is going to happen, so take it one day at a time, and go with Angel's mantra - today I am pregnant.

Hopefully everyone is off doing lovely things too - thinking about you all x

I actually went swimming this morning, for the first time in ages, so felt good for that, but DH isn't very well - he's rarely ill so is feeling quite sorry for himself, so we have just been vegging out all day, going to get a chinese for dinner, rather than going out like we were going to - quite pleased, am shattered so enjoying the rest!!

Elly I'm sure all will well on Thurs. FX for you. I'm sure I'll be the same if I get near having any scans. I need to start swimming as haven't been to the gym in months. Just haven't had the inclination since we lost Daisy. Glad you had a relaxing day yesterday.

Think we're going to be mattress hunting today as ours is so old and both DH and I are waking up with bad backs and arms that have gone to sleep (not good)!!!

Hello and waves to everyone. Hope all is well out there, xx

It does rather seem as if everyone has run to the hills!! I was one of the escapees this weekend - we had to get out... it was so horrible to be in our silent, without-a-baby house that we have spent most of the weekend far away from it. Can't say we 'enjoyed' ourselves, but it was good to just get in the car and drive and be somewhere else. Back home now.

Hi elly and little. Hope you are both managing to feel positive today?
elly just a few days left until your scan now. Btw I don't think it's at all strange that you were feeling weird about the woman at your work - it's another way of bringing home to you what others have, but you don't. She will be on maternity leave with her two babies, and you will be on maternity leave (yes, you WILL) but will have only one of your two. One is so very much better than none, but it's impossibly hard in so many ways, too.

babyh what an awful start to your holiday! I hope everyone is feeling a lot better now, and that you're all able to enjoy yourselves a little bit. Also, I guess you are just a few days behind me with your first cycle on your CBFM...

Still sending lots of love to green. Thinking of you xx

Also mias I know that it's very nearly at the one-year point for you now, so you are in the horrible run-up (I haven't had to do it yet, obviously. But I already know it's horrible). Loads of love to you and I hope you are still able to feel close to your lovely lovely Mia xx

fan how has your weekend been, lovely? And blizy? Hope you are both doing ok xx

What have I missed? Oh yes - rainbox - you made me laugh with your comment about how you'd go to your SIL's funeral 'just to make sure' And angel, hope that Phebs is still enjoying all her birthday celebrations! Love to all xx

Hey ladies, I have been reading just didnt post. Ive been busy finishing off a present for DH for his birthday it in two weeks but I only have a few hours to complete the pressie.

Im doing ok a little down but nothing too drastic. I qlways seem to feel a little down after the ov period, I always feel so good during the ov time, I guess thats natures way to get you in the mood. And then I always feel a but down after in the lead up to AF. TWW is the worst isnt it? I am going to try and keep busy to try and not think about it all.

Green how are you? How was the boys birthday? I hope your not in too much pain.

poppet I understand wanting to get out, it can be frustrating sitting there thinking of what should have been.

waves to everyone I hope you are all well.

Hi all,

fan, I live around 15- 20 mins away from where your dh was brought up!

green- How are you?

kleine- I know what you mean about wanting out of the house, it feels incredibly loney somethimes.

little, hope you are ok?

elly, not long to wait now my lovely. x

Dh and i were out all day walking around a park, it was lovely to get out. the sun is shining here (for a change).

Big waves to everyone x

Near radio silence all round! Not much to report here, other than I have finally worked out that Freya is teething. It's taken me a while because she's never really done it before, the teeth just appeared. But eventually have pieced together vile nappies, grizzly disturbed nights, food refusal and cucumber obsession. Mystery is solved!

miasmummy I have been thinking of you and yours a lot this last week. I read your article in your local paper and thought you and MrMia spoke very well and eloquently. There's nothing really to say, no helpful thoughts, just much love xx Autumn is very much Mia's season to me, all the red & gold leaves make me think of her and her wood everytime. You did pick lovely photos for the press. You did her proud this week. You must be exhausted xx

green how's things? Hope DS's party went as well as it could in the circs.

Glad you got some sunshine blizy

elly thinking of you this week xx

little great mindset, long may it last. Enjoy every minute of the pg that you can.

babyh waah that sounds like a nightmare holiday. After you and angel I think we will not bother for this year!! Prob just as well what with the expensive cat & cars this month. It all comes at once doesn't it.

Hi all, sorry I've been absent over the WE, I just needed to get through and not think too much. DSs party was a trial if I'm honest, but he loved every minute, so worth it. Things properly kicked off with the MC last night as we were clearing up the village hall after the party, so I just made it. (I had visions of CSI type scenes under the disco uv light). Last night was really sore, and no sleep, just sat on loo. Today it's all very full on, but it should be better quickly if its going this fast... So that's good! The boys will have to have a quiet day, far too much tv and left over party food, but it won't hurt. ( half term for two weeks here).

SPILT, glad you've worked out Freya's teething! Always easier to know what's wrong... Even if there's not all that much to do about it!

BLIZY, you make me 'home' sick for Glasgow! I used to live there while I was at art school, (I'm from Stirling). Glasgows the best city in the uk I think! I lived just near Glasgow Green, and when they used to do T in The Park there, we could see from our windows. I think that whole area is demolished and rebuilt now, it was on the edge of the Gorbals. Forever ago now....

FAN, sorry you're a bit down. I get flat at that end of my cycles too. I prefer having AF to the TWW, it's rubbish. I have everything crossed for you..... Xxx

KLEINE, hugs to you, lovely lady. Nothing I can say, but I wish that life would be easier on you. I hope you found some comfort in your travels this WE.

LITTLE, did you get a new mattress? I too need to get back to doing some exercise. I'm rubbish though. Hate the gym, and crap at running. Only like swimming in the river or sea. I am big as a house ATM though, so will force myself soon... Probably running, it's easy to fit into life, and free!

ELLY, not so long to wait now. Hope your DH is feeling a little better.... And well done for going swimming!

Hello to everyone else on this wet Monday, hope you are all ok. Xxx

Just had some lovely news - a friend I went to uni with has been TTC since getting married 3 year ago, we kind of lost touch when I got pg with Nancy because she was finding it hard, fair enough. She has just contacted me to tell me she is 9 weeks pg!! 5th round of IUI (precursor to IVF apparently) - I'm soooo pleased for them!!! She was worried to tell me, bless her, because of losing Nancy, but I'm absolutely over the moon for them - it's just such lovely news that I wanted to share it with you all xxx

Will read back properly later xxx

Last 2 weeks of work... last 2 weeks of work! Absolutely exhausted... :(
Had a busy weekend too... drove down to Oxford on Saturday to visit theological college I would like to go to. Was a very nice but tiring day. Yesterday after church I was just completely exhausted and stayed on the sofa all day.
Tonight we've got E's first parents evening at school! Exciting! :)

green take it easy! thinking of you x glad you managed DS's party!

We've got E's 4th birthday party on Sunday evening, it's at the Wacky Warehouse so won't have to do anything luckily, except provide a (shop-bought) birthday cake.

elly that's great news about your friend. A good friend of mine is on her second cycle of IUI.

blue wow not long to wait. How's the prep for home birthing going?

fan the midwife is coming here on Wednesday to discuss everything about home birth with us hopefully after that visit I know what I need to get... I'm not having a pool set up anyway so won't have to bother about that.
Still need to get clothes down from the attic though and washed and sorted.

elly lovely news about your friend and I'm so glad you feel happy for her and ok about it too - reactions can be weird and hard and unexpected sometimes. Did you tell her about your pg too? You must be very similar dates?

green you sound very matter of fact. I'm so sorry for how shittily it's all panned out. Big hugs and lots of strength to you. Hope you are being well looked after by DH xx

miasmummy how are you this week? You've been building up the inquest for so long, I wonder if it's a bit strange now that focus is gone? I hope it's a relief and you are getting some rest, mental as well as physical xx

blue I remember that tiredness well, you have my sympathies. I don't know how you felt after E & S's births, but certainly I felt so much more energy for not being pregnant anymore, you don't realise how much it saps out of you! Not long now and you can lie on your front again!! And walk at a normal pace!

Great news about your friend elly!

hi split, how is Freya with teething today?

Green, I hope you had a peaceful day and are ok?
I love Glasgow too, I live in between Glasgow and Stirling. I used to frequent the art school union with my friend, i had many a messy night there.

Blue, exciting times ahead! My sister is due around the same time as you (15th) and its my birthday on 20th. I was at my sisters today, mooning over all of her little babies clothes and moses basket. I might be away in holiday when she gives birth though.

Hello all.

Green - big hugs. Hope you're ok. Even better than getting a new mattress....we got a whole new bed!! We've slightly downsized to a Kingsize as our old one Superking is somewhat overpowering the bedroom. It arrives tomorrow, so am very excited!

elly - brilliant news for your friend. FX all goes ok for her.

blue - how exciting for you. Not long now

Today I was quite nauseous this morning and again this afternoon. Taking ginger nuts into work tomorrow to see if it's because I need food (seemed to help with Daisy) and am taking it as a good sign.

Waves to everyone else. Hope you are all ok, xxx