Oh amy, my goodness, how incredibly stressful. I am so glad that the little one - DS3! How wonderful - is still ok after such a horrid scare, but it must be so terribly difficult for you and DH. Your message sounds amazingly 'together' but I imagine you're not exactly feeling that way all the time. I'm so sorry for all of this and hope so VERY much that all will be well. I'm glad they picked up on the blood problems, too, although that's another huge thing to worry about, isn't it. Well done for keeping going. How is DS1 doing, with mummy being unwell and in hospital?
Huge hugs to mias and blue (I'm guessing they have to be huge right now, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get near you 
). I hope you are both coping. mias, putting Mia's clothes away is such a big, terrible thing to have to do. Our situation is very different, but I can't bear to put E's clothes away yet. They are still in the drawer, and a couple of things are hanging out. I'm really glad you will be able to share Mia's books with her sibling and that her unused toys have gone to such a lovely home, to be shared with other children. Well done you.
green I am just so very very sorry that you're still bleeding. It has been SUCH a long time for you to have be going through this and be thinking of it all the time; utterly rubbish. I hope you're all having as lovely a family weekend as possible, and that tomorrow - the start of a new week - will really be a new beginning for you. Lots of love xx
elly lovie, did you previously say that you had an upcoming GP appt to discuss your ADs? I can't remember, sorry - but it really sounds like you are struggling., and I'm hoping you've got someone you can talk to about it. Or will you discuss it with your consultant? I am so sorry. Perhaps it's not the best time to be thinking about coming off them... I do know how complicated it is for you, though, to be pg and worried about taking them.
Also - sending love and complete understanding to you, about your best friend's little girl. I have found that it is really almost unbearable, in the days after someone close to you has a baby (particularly one of the gender that you lost). Trying hard to be happy for them, but really, just feeling deeply miserable and lost without your own little one. I wish Nancy were here with you 
I hope that the growing bundle of joy in your tummy is of some comfort to you while you are dealing with it all. Have you seen the baby, or do you plan to?
(Our good friends are having a baby by C-section next week. I am completely torn between huge worry that the baby won't be ok, and then wishing it didn't exist, which I just hate myself for, and then hoping beyond hope that it isn't a girl. It's terrible to be having these feelings, but I can't stop them, and I have already learnt to accept them, and just to wait until they recede a little.)
fan your post made me wish SO very hard that I could help, do something to make things better. It really does sound like a strange time for you - time has healed your grief a little bit, but you are obviously feeling so - incomplete, is the word that comes to mind (not trying to put words in your mouth, so feel very free to correct me...). You're such a star, for keeping going in the way that you do, and for giving support to others while still having to struggle so hard for yourself. Keep on believing that good things are just round the corner. They will be there. Your future baby needs you to keep going now, in order that he or she can be with you one day - and I very very much hope that that day is soon. Much love xx
blizy you sound like such a proud, lovely big sister... I hope you give your brother a good send-off this weekend.
HOW annoying about your cycle though. I'm so sorry - very stressful for you. It seems to be catching round here! Do you have any idea what's gone on since you last posted - do you get ov pains or anything, that would give you a clue if you DID ov very late?
babyh I am glad you DID finally ov and that you and DH made up in time to make the most of it 
Hope you are not going too mad in your tww xx
rainbox you sound so sad, but so determined to keep going. It's so tough, isn't it? Would you consider counselling now, or would you prefer to wait until you're pg? You and DH went through such a terrible time, and I can well imagine that you have many, many moments of Dexter's life engraved in your mind. I feel the same about E's life - the things that I am already thinking about, when I wake up in the morning - the horror of it going through my mind, of what she had to go through. I wish I could help you, but in the absence of being able to wave a magic wand, I will give you a hug and a very understanding hand squeeze instead xx
angel you must be freezing!!! Have you been able to, I don't know, make a fire out of your furniture, or something, to stay warm? What a nightmare. I am very much hoping that you have a few peaceful, calm, nothing-at-all-happening weeks and months ahead of you.
Wow this post is long.
Thank you all for your thoughts the last couple of days. It's been manageable. We are basically dreading six months, so, in comparison, five months doesn't seem like such a big thing. But it's still five months without our girl. And, isn't seeing your husband sobbing just the most terrible thing? He doesn't do it often. But he is so so sad.
Will be calling the fertility clinic tomorrow to make our first appt with our new consultant - hopefully in the next few weeks. We've emailed him already, he seemed nice and also compassionate enough to understand that this is going to be extremely hard for us. So, a good start!
Love to all. I am about to cook us a roast beef dinner yum 