TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

[woody17]

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

Morning all! I'm feeling pretty upbeat today. Had a lovely night last night, Bond and bonking (sadly not with Bond, but husband makes a pretty good substitute). Hotel was gorgeous, a proper boudoir, in fact I'm fairly sure a girl could get pregnant just by walking in the room - well I can live in hope! So following a maybe LH surge on Monday and two days solid shagging I guess I'm about to start the 2ww....eeep. Going to DTD again tomorrow for luck and then wait and see!

Hi James so sorry you're here. The first few weeks are the worst, especially when other people don't get it. We'd told everyone by the time we had the mc, had to basically announce it by social media as I couldn't face texting/phoning everyone. Some people still haven't mentioned it to me, as if it never happened..some of them pretty 'good' friends as well! Hope you're coping ok x

Hi can I join in please. I miscarried 4days ago at 9 weeks, totally gutted cos you never think it will happen to you.it was my first pregnancy and apparently it's very common. Went for my scan today and it came back all clear so nothing left of pregnancy, atleast I didn't need any medical intervention. 2 days ago the thought of starting over again was sop daunting however today I'm like ready to start over when I get my next period. I never thought all this baby making business would be soo difficult, I suppose the outcome will be soo worth it.x

Yorkshire, [henvy] Hotel sounds lovely. Good luck on the 2ww!

James, sorry you're feeling bad. I decided not to go (if I feel off next week I will), I don't think I could cope with sitting in a waiting room atm, have you decided if you're going to go in?

Clairey, sorry to hear of your mc. 'Glad' you didn't need intervention & you're ready to start again asap, hope it's successful for you asap.
Sorry it took to your scan for you to find out.

Has anyone got anything lovely planned for the weekend?
PIL are coming over to watch DS on Saturday so DH & I can have a day out to relax, thinking of going Christmas Shopping in London, which is probably not a relaxing idea!!

Horse no I've decided not to bother as I'm pretty sure everything's out except for inevitable bleeding. The epu nurse said wait til I stop bleeding (which could be up to 2-3 weeks) then wait 48 hours, take a pg test and it should be bfn, if not then arrange for a rescan. I just want to forget this whole thing. Not even entirely sure I want to ttc another just yet, I feel so shocked that this happened. I suppose I was spoilt in my last pregnancy, I had bleeding but it turned out to be nothing, so I assumed this would be the same. Even now, when I'm positive I did mc, i keep having dreams that it's all a mistake and I'll find out in a few weeks that the baby is tucked away in there.

Hi all
welcome James and Claire so sorry you find yourselves here. MC is just such a sad and terrible thing. I agree about people not understanding and not mentioning it. My best friend is now pregnant and doesnt mention my MC and I feel I have to ask about her pregnancy. It's killing me. Most my team at work have not mentioned it. Everyone seems to get sent a card when off with anything from a cough to a house move yet not one for me either time I MC and no mention of it ever since by most people. Makes me sad that Knowone understands what I've been through or seems to care how we are doing.

Bless you James..... I feel totaly the same. I just keep thinking this is all just a bad dream and i'm going to wake up and be pregnant again. I feel soo helpless and feel iv'e been left in limbo. I keep having moments of anger aswel and thinking "why me?" it just seems so unfair because it was planned, and I know lots of other people who have had gone to have a child unplanned. was positive yestaday but feeling quite low today.

Hi babyjames. My husband has been totaly supportive and alot of my friends have also been there for me. I was so supprised that it was my grandma who im quite close with was like "you need to get over it! there will be other babies" I was so cross because it only happened at the weekend. she just didnt get it. its funny how the people who you think will be the most supportive turn out to be the least. Its nice to have online forums to actualy say how you feel without worrying that you will be judged for saying how you feel. xxxx

Hi Clairey sorry you're here with us, but we're a pretty lovely bunch really. Hope you're feeling ok all things considered. I think it's only natural to be up and down for a while. One day you think you're ok and dealing with it well, moving on, the next day you feel incredibly rubbish and angry. Glad your husband and friends are there to help you along x

Horse you're brave doing the Christmas shop in London! I do it online haha, lazy option every time . I'm going out with the in-laws and husband tonight for dinner, currently fixing a grin into position. Hopefully it won't slip too much as long as I stay off the wine and as long as nobody assumes it's because I'm pregnant when I'm not

Hope everyone's having a good week anyway! Been a bit quiet on here recently, hopefully because everyone's busy working on their BFPs

Hi everyone - could I join too please? Sorry its going to be a long one!

Started miscarrying on October 14th which was the day before my 12 week scan - scan showed an empty sac measuring about 6 weeks so either blighted ovum or early loss of baby but sac kept developing. Although the initial bleeding was an awful shock I'm glad it happened then as otherwise i would have been completely unprepared at the scan :(

This was my second pregnancy, I have a DD who is 22 months - I realise now how very lucky we were to have a straightforward pg and birth and healthy baby. I'm so sad for all of us having to go through this and especially for those for whom it was their first pregnancy.

I have a scan tomorrow at the EAPU to see if everything is gone (had one last Monday too which showed the sac still there) - I think i actually miscarried on Tuesday this week but I'm still bleeding quite heavily; i had no idea that miscarriages could take this long (and much longer from what I have now read).

Anyway, sorry this is so long. DH and I are very keen to start ttc again and so I wanted to join you lot in cracking open the ovulation sticks and pg tests again :)
Still not sure whether to wait for AF or not - any advice?

james sorry you're friend hasn't contacted you, I'm in a similar position (friend texted to say 'hope you don't feel too bad' on Oct 15th then nothing since then!). I guess it's hard to know what to say to us :(

Hi everyone just wanted to check in and see how everyone was, welcome to clairey James and kitty, sorry to see you here especially kitty, we were on the bfp thread together and it seems particulaly cruel for you to have got all the way to your 12wk scan, I had a very easy first pregnancy too and although I was worried nothing bad happened, when I got pregnant again I didn't even give mc a second though as dh said let's just enjoy this one and it came as I really harsh blow and shock!
Good look to everyone on the 2ww, baby I will on you but if you want to wait to see what happens this month first that's cool aswell , anyone seen anything from woody? I hope she's ok, she may be taking it easy off mn but she does usually say ?

Oh I was kittykatsforever if I name changed and you didn't know

Hiya kittykat thanks for the welcome, I do remember you from the conception boards and that you had had a mc. I tried to read back to see how you were doing (not a crazy stalker honest!) but I couldn't keep track, are you pg now?
It was crap getting all the way to 12 weeks for this to happen but I felt very odd the whole time, I couldn't say I was pg without some kind of follow up statement like 'all being well' or 'let's wait for the scan' and I had to remind myself that I was of all the time, it's like my subconscious could not hold on to the fact.
Had my scan today - unfortunately not all clear, still an active blood supply and retained tissue so another week of waiting then scan number 5!

Hello Kittybump so sorry for your loss. What a terrible thing to find out at 12 weeks. Sorry that you are also not able to move on physically just yet. All these scans must be so difficult too.

Welcome back Kitty. How are you feeling? Did last Saturday go ok? Was thinking of you.

Hi kitty, oh that really sucks about your scan , my last mc was prolonged in that I was bleeding for 4 weeks in total and it really got me down it's such a complicated thing, are they just waiting to see if things go naturally for you?
I am pregnant again yes, I got caught straight away the month after mc ( this was my second) I waited the first time as told but it still went wrong then this time just went for it and bang, should be 10 wks today, I had a scan last wkend and all was well, little bean groving away which sonographer said was a really good sign ( thanks for thinking of me baby ) hopefully this is 3 rd time lucky for me, if it went wrong ifmd definatly give myself a break over Xmas etc but I am feeling as positive as you can

hi james and kittykat thanks for your thoughts, i was pretty fed up after the scan I really thought this would be the last one. Yes just waiting for it to happen naturally, I'm still bleeding fairly heavily so seems like it is happening just very slowly. It's more the faffing about that is bothering me now, getting someone to mind DD, getting to the hospital, paying £3 for approx 35 minutes of parking...

Anyway, kittykat i'm so pleased for you, that's brilliant its interesting what you say about not waiting, I don't want to wait but I think if I did mc again I would think it was because i should have waited

So glad all was well Kitty . Was a bit worried when you wern't around. I think all we can do is take each day at a time. I'l second the 3rd time lucky.
Having a bit of a wobble and a few tears tonight. DH is out as he was last night and I think at this end of my cycle the pressure is getting to me.

It is very emotional baby and kitty, I dont think much compares to how isolating it can be, particulaly as alot of people don't know what to say or say the wrong thing or ignore you completely, it's like what was mentioned unthread with the card etc, to us it's still a loss and a much longed for one, a good cry can definatly help though!
Thanks for your kind words baby, I'll be honist I didnt rush on and mention or bring it up unless asked purley because alot of you are still getting over your mc and grieving plus trying and I know sometimes the last thing you feel like hearing is oh I'm pregnant or yes it's going great, but I do like to keep in touch and see how you all are as this thread was so supportive

Hi Kittybump, so sorry for your loss and that the physical part of it is taking so long for you. Fingers crossed not much longer.

Hiya kittykats glad all is going well!

Baby poor you having a rotten time. I kind of feel the same. Three friends and several acquaintances have all announced births in the last two weeks and for some reason I've convinced myself this week that it's never going to happen for us. Very tired, very emotional and it's all getting a bit too much for me at the moment! I think (going on my very dodgy calculations) that I can poas on the 12th. It's going to be a really, really long wait. When will you test?

Horse hope you have a lovely day today!

And hello everyone else! x

ou whats Horse doing nice today?

KittyKat It's nice to hear that things are going well for you this time. Gives me hope. You also seem a lovely lady and always have something nice to say :)

Yorkshire Think I will test the 11th or 12th too. I don't seem to have any symptoms though :( FX for us both

Hello to everyone else too!

baby am equally symptom free, well apart from the imaginary sore nipples which aren't sore until I poke them to see if they're sore haha! I did have some weird lower abdo pain yesterday but think I'm over-analysing everything, was probably trapped wind ... Had no symptoms whatsoever last time so hoping if I do catch this time I'll be horribly sick, sore and otherwise indisputably pregnant. FX for both of us indeed.

Anyone else joining us for a POAS party on or around the 12th? xxx

Hi everyone.
Just wanted to check in and send lots of hugs and babydust to you all.
Af is due Weds but I'm not going to test and don't have any tests at home to tempt me. I've not been on here as I just got too obsessed and then too upset last month when af arrived.
If af doesn't come then I'll pop in and let you know and maybe there'll be a poas buddy or two around the end of next week.
Welcome to the newbies and I'm really sorry for your loss. I found that ttc straight away was the only thing that would help me to look forward. No luck yet but I'm only on second cycle after early mc in Sept. Good luck x

Hello Kittybump (getting a bit confusing on here with kitty x 2 and james x 2) I'm really sorry for your loss and that you are having to keep going back - adding insult to injury.
I'm just checking in really as mumsnet has ceased to consider this a "thread I'm on" and I had to search for it. Nothing to report. In 2ww, AF due sometime around the 10th but not sure whether this will be a WTF cycle or not, think I ovulated about day 14 so we'll see.

Hi all and thank you for kind words. Fingers crossed for all of you in the 2ww, I'll be so happy to hear some BFPs as it gives me hope :) I keep wondering if I should POAS - seems weird to hope for a BFN! I think it would still be positive at the moment though so I will stay away from the sticks.

Taking the plunge.. bear with me while I learn the ropes, abbreviations etc.

Had a MC in September and after the initial devastation I assumed I'd get pregnant straight away without even TRYING-trying. It doesn't help that I'm off sex altogether!! We have an 18 month old son, yet I long for even less sleep and more banana mashed into the carpet.
I'm trying to take it as it comes and not get too caught up in conceiving. But I can see myself breaking out the sticks and calendars whilst trying to appear nonchalant.

Good luck for those of you waiting to test, and thoughts/hugs/prayers/whatever helps to those of you dealing with MC just now. I was doing pretty well until Halloween which would have been my 12wk scan. I had so fallen in love with the plan that the pregnancy brought, and now it's all different.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing good news from you crowd!

Hi Brie sorry you find yourself here. It's pretty heartbreaking and cruel - but we are a nice bunch!
I try and fail most of the time not to obsess too!