TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

[woody17]

Hi everyone - I've started the new thread as our original one is nearly full.

I really hope that this is the one where we all get our BFPs and don't have to experience any more heartache.

can you smell carrots?

Hahahahah! I like that one. :)

I am also having a wtf. Glad (in a way) that it is normal. Not that you guys are going through it too though. Still spotting. Still. Am guessing it probably okay and carrying on regardless?! Argh!!!

bravelilbear they said I was 6 and a half weeks and I worked out I was 7 today so all about right. I do know better, but 7mm didn't feel like a lot to show for what I've been through. Daft thing to say really. I imagine I still have my scan in January so will get a better view then!
A pleasure james, I look forward to you seeing it in black and white and English!
After ds having spread my folic acid far and wide to my despair, he did then follow up with pointing at my belly twice and saying "baby"... He's too young to get that concept so I took that as a spooky reassurance. Didn't stop me holding my breath at the scan though.

I like the jokes. I never remember jokes!

Sorry for everyone who feels their insides are playing tricks on them. My bleeding lasted a week and AF arrived a month later, pretty much as expected. I hadn't realised how it can mess with us until I heard your stories.

And how are you guys feeling now blol and almond? Back to "normal" I hope. (Not that you are abnormal, I just forget what that feels like now.)

Hello, ladies. I'm venturing gingerly out of the "waiting to TTC" threads but am not actually TTC yet. Always feel a little like I'm poking my head in on a conversation, with threads as long as this!

My question: Anyone here TTC after a late miscarriage? How do you cope with the anxiety about a future pregnancy? We lost our little boy at 19 weeks, no answers at all as every test has come up negative. We couldn't get an autopsy or chromosomal analysis done on the baby, unfortunately, as it's not offered routinely in my country.

But I've been tested for all the required things and have even been told to repeat some tests before TTC and after getting a BFP. I've also been told I'll be given cervical cerclage and will be mostly on house rest during the second trimester, as well as being given some drugs to prevent premature labour.

So I know that if I get pregnant, the doctors will really be keeping a close eye on me. That doesn't take away the worry, however. I've thought my way through the worst case scenarios and the best case ones (optimism bias lost, so I tend to make the worst cases more realistic!). And I have mostly good days when I believe that things will go fine, barring the standard first trimester risks, and bad days on which I think, "Why put myself and everyone else through this again? Maybe we should just adopt..."

I'm guessing some of you may have been in the same situation. Any insights you can offer on how to deal with this anxiety even before TTC?

Brie that is fab news. I am so relieved for you that everything seems to be fine. Did they have any explanation for the bleed? Your just a smidge ahead of me then (if my dates are right)!

Sorry for all the WTF cycles! I had 3 WTF's and then a BFP so dont think because you are having them that you still cant get pg! I would recommend the OPKs as I was ov really late and probably would have given up DTD if I hadnt have waited for the

Hi literaryone, I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an early mc so can't really offer any practical advice but I can tell you that we're really good at listening and empathising and distracting you from all of the worry and anxiety.

One of my best friends lost her baby at 22 weeks. She has gone on to have two lovely little girls, who have their birthdays within 10 months of each other! I remember too acutely everything she went through, and she would tell you to breathe, carry on, get things together, and try again, because it's absolutely worth it.

Take care, and keep talking - it's good to share and not bottle things up xx

Sorry...stupid computer.

I continue...for the on the stick! Yeah Blunder it feels like such an achievement to get to CD1!!

Posy thanks for the reassurance. I have had 'sharp' pains (tends to be in 1 place) for 24 hours but they seemed to have gone this morning and been replaced with me feeling very bloated (convinced I am showing already)! Lol how are you feeling? It's scary isnt it. I am so conscious of every twinge at the moment and wish I knew what was ok and what was not!

My booking in appointment with the midwife is on 27th Dec (DH b'day!) so that is something to look forward too. Here they normally dont see you until you are 10 weeks but they are seeing me at 8 weeks due to my kidney's. Fx I get a slightly earlier scan too!!

Off to another Christmas drinks tonight. I am getting quite good at lying about my lack of alcohol consumption. Any other BFPers really struggling with not having a drink though?? I dont normally drink that much but now I cant I could murder a glass of red!!

Sorry, forgot to say Literar I am the same as Booze. I have only had 1 early mc. I had a work colleague loose a baby at 14 weeks after having announced it to the world. She now has 2 lovely boys so like Booze says sometimes it is worth putting yourself through the worry for the end result. I dont think you will ever get over the anxiety but I know in my case I would always think 'what if' if I didnt try again. x

Welcome literaryone. We must be about due for a new thread as this one is nearly full and I'm going to suggest we start off with a "copy and paste" list of where everyone is up to as I'm losing track, particularly as we've all name changed along the way.
I've had 2 first trimester miscarriages and found being pregnant again after the first one very hard (I had a successful but stressful pregnancy). It must be even harder after a late loss, but I'm sure we can all empathise with wondering whether you can put yourself at risk of it happening again. We're here to hand hold when you are ready.
My best friend lost a baby at 22 weeks just after we graduated - the first of our gang to be grown up, married and pregnant - we were so happy for her and so devastated when she lost the baby. Like you, no obvious reason why, she did go on to have 2 beautiful children without further problems. I know other people's success stories may not make you feel any better. What we all want is a crystal ball to see into the future and the lovely babies we'll be taking home.

bump that is great! I have simple tastes

brie bless your 7mm bean

almond -lovely to get that booking appointment through as well! Fx they do scan you early. I think I have been making up for the lack of drinking of you bfpers recently

literary I am so sorry for your loss. And then all the waiting and tests- so cruel. It sounds like it was just one of those awful things though and there are do many stories of people that go on to have beautiful families. I had a mmc at 10 weeks (found out at 12 week scan), so another early bod, but I reiterate what the others say in terms of support here and taking one day at a time. Easier said than done I know.

Well the bleeding has stopped again here. Was it cd1 or wasn't it? When will it return? This is like a really fun mystery game. NOT.

I really like the snowman joke Bump! Even though it does slightly remind me of That John Lewis ad which makes me cry every time lol!

Hello and welcome Literaryone I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, only had an early mc, so have little advice or usefulness to offer except to echo everyone else that we're a friendly bunch here, always ready to listen - and we all understand the fret and worry of trying again.

Brie really pleased your dates match! We must be pretty close as I reckon I'm 7+3 today. And a booking-in appt for Almond, too!

Shame about the WTF AFs Pink, Kitty et al... But great news about a wedding in the family Anda! Wow so much news

Welcome literaryone, so sorry for your late loss, it must have been awful for you. I lost mine early, about 7 or 8 weeks and that was bad enough. I can understand how it would be very nerve wracking to go through another pregnancy with all that uncertainty of the outcome. Fingers crossed it'll all go smoothly for you!

I was a bit paranoid last night as I didn't feel tired at 11pm, whereas I've been feeling half dead by that time the last few days. So I poas (not the clear blue conception indicator, just my last standard stick) and got a nice solid pink line, it's not as dark as the control line but it's a lot darker than the one I did at the weekend. I need to be satisfied with that. It's just hard when I have no nausea (I don't get much morning sickness just a bit of nausea either first thing in the morning or around tea time) my boobs aren't sore (but again I don't usually get v sore boobs until about 5 months) I'm crying all the time but that's about it.

What do you get if you eat too many Christmas decorations?

Not tinselitis?

Hey James try not to worry... it is so hard, I know. My symptoms come and go as well, and, while I feel off-colour pretty much all the time, I haven't been sick once. I'm not crying all the time, boobs are ever so slightly tender but not much and sometimes I don't feel that tired.

I'm just trying really hard to stay positive and know that everything is as it should be. My favourite poem in the whole world is Desiderata - my mum put a poster of on the wall when we were kids and I fully intend to do the same.

The best two lines (right now) are these: 'Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.'

And: 'whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should'

Keep smiling and relish those pangs of nausea as a good thing

for line, james. It is so hard not to worry, but it sounds like all is well. bear too, staying positive is definitely the right thing x

'Fraid so, Blunder

tins

I just told the snowman joke at work and got a genuine laugh!

wooohoooooo all hail the welcome arrival of AF!!!!!!! although quite faint, she's definitely here, finally after 10 weeks since MC!! never been so pleased to see it in all my life!! thankfully no trips to Laura Ashley just yet but i will be as prepared as possible tomorrow in case!! might have some wine to celebrate

sorry i've lost track a bit of who's where, maybe when we start the new thread we can do a little recap!!

loving the snowman joke too! i told it in work today and we ere all giggling like little schoolkids heehee!!

Hi peeps. Still not had af, cuming up to 7weeks. Got realy sore boobs bt ng blood test. Wots goin on with my body? Help

aw clairey i feel your pain. i've been pulling my hair out for the last month or so wondering why mine was so incredibly slow at coming back - i was always a bit irregular (50 day cycles) but this was taking the piss!

i was speaking to charing cross hospital today about it (they have monitoring me after diagnosing a molar pregnancy which came back last week as a misgiagnosis thankfully). i rang them to get my blood test results back and also because it was 10 weeks since i had my mc and i was concerned and asked what was normal - the specialist said that there really is no normal time frame for af to come back, unfortunately everyone is different. then when i got home there she was.

i bought some agnus castus yesterday at holland and barrett as i'd heard it was good for menstrual problems but then read some horror stories online so glad i didn't actually start it. i was thinking of getting reflexology / acupuncture if mine didn't come back by xmas. hopefully she's not just having a flying visit (i.e. one wipes worth- sorry if TMI)

fx yours comes soon, maybe you need to change your name to one beginning with 'B' - it worked for me!

x x x

Lol may b it comes wen we least expect it. Jst wish it wud bloody hurry up wana crack on ttc. Stupid women issues its bloody frustrating.wel jst think bling next month u cud get pg.xxxxxx

Whoop whoop janie, fab news!! Think you must have helped me too as mine is back with a vengeance now- thank god!

clairey, totally understand your frustrating and wanting to get on with ttc- I didn't have to wait long at all and I was pulling my hair out. Hang in there and fx she'll speed your way now.

This is my first message sent on the app..no idea if it's going to work etc.

How is everybody this evening?