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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake! Part

999 replies

Dorita75 · 03/09/2012 20:28

Hi, thought I'd start the new thread. This is a brilliant thread for anyone trying to conceive or who has got a bfp after mc, full of lovely ladies, fab advice and a lovely place to metal, so called because someone said metal instead of mental and the rest is history......

OP posts:
wilderumpus · 26/10/2012 17:07

was thinking about you today pebs. am delighted to haer that you have a favourite personal nurse and are being well looked after, but slightly concerned about the 'scam' element [hgrin]

good luck for tomorrow chuck x

pebspop · 26/10/2012 18:02

no scam wilde! just a lovely nurse who has seen me through all my mcs. she knows I prefer to see her!

Original poster
Dorita75 · 27/10/2012 08:24

Welcome new ladies, sorry you find yourselves here but hopefully not long until BFPsWink

Good luck today pebs!

How are you jaffa?

Good luck to my fellow musketeers this month!

Avocado on toast for breakfast anyone?

OP posts:
SundaySunshine · 27/10/2012 11:29

Good luck today pebs Smile

pebspop · 27/10/2012 12:14

scan was fine. the baby looked massive! this is the furthest I have seen a baby with heartbeat!

back in two weeks for another scan then 20 week scan after that

wilderumpus · 27/10/2012 12:21

ooooh YAY pebs! so happy for you :) Thanks

backwardpossom · 27/10/2012 12:23

Oh pebs that's fantastic news [hsmile] x

JaffaSnaffle · 27/10/2012 12:49

Grin for pebs. So pleased for you this morning!

News in jaffa house is no news. Have painful braxton hicks that wake me in the night, are not frequent enough to be labour, that scare me to death that it's starting. But it never is. I had my Pre-op yesterday for c-sec so that all seems more real now. Come on baby or come on Thurs! I just want her safe and in my arms.

MrsHerculePoirot · 27/10/2012 13:40

Hurrah pebs that is bloody brilliant news!

Not long now jaffa...

MrsHerculePoirot · 27/10/2012 13:40

Oops didn't finish! Will be thinking of ou this week, take it as easy as you can!

Midgetm · 27/10/2012 16:24

Oh my goodness I lost you all.
pebs Grin mist wonderful scan news and jaffa Wink not long now....

One handed typing as master midge noshes away as usual big waves to all x

SundaySunshine · 27/10/2012 16:36

Great news pebs

Ooh jaffa hang on in there, hope you're not too uncomfortable.

Jollyb · 27/10/2012 18:35

Hello all hope you're enjoying the wintry sunshine.

Very excited about the imminent arrival of baby Jaffa.

Pebs - so pleased to hear about your scan too.

I've decided to do without my CBFM this month. Partly because I think we're going to be DTDing at the right time anyway and partly because the sticks are so bloody expensive.

Jollyb · 27/10/2012 18:36

Jaffa - remember big granny pants that will come up over your scar.

lurcherlover · 27/10/2012 21:02

Brilliant news pebs. Good luck Jaffa - might be a Halloween baby! [hgrin]

lotsofcheese · 28/10/2012 08:27

So happy for you pebs and not too long till your next appointment either - just brilliant!

Jaffa good luck with the c-section - it's an odd sensation, having it done. As others have recommended, big pants, right up to your belly button, are the way to go.

Don't be shy about asking for laxatives, as your bowels won't move for 4-5 days after. Getting out of bed & attempting to walk are fun too!! Good luck x

lotsofcheese · 28/10/2012 08:28

Ps jolly I used Internet cheapie op.'s - £5 for about 30 strips from amazon - they work a treat!

wilderumpus · 28/10/2012 11:34

hey all, good to hear about imminent babies and lots of dtd!

Am sad today :( (see, sad face to prove it). My friends who mc'ed have decided not to visit after all. I know this is not about me and they are still grieving but I can't help but feel completely gutted about it. I feel guilty for being pg, I feel sad they don't trust us to look after them (had a big, comforting roast planned) or be sensitive :( And I feel sad that they don't want to see me, like I am Bad and my baby is bad. Absurdly i also feel like I should give them my baby, like they deserve it all more than me. I know this is irrational and I am a bit hormonal knackered today.

And i have had spotting three days in a row now and my scan isn't until a week on thurs. am totally metalling that it is all starting to be over and I won't find out until then. I haven't told DH as i don't want to cause a fuss about a wee bit of nothing. is only brown blood, only one wipe each time, and I am sure it is nothing...

Am just sad today and maybe looking for excuses to make myself cry. It is a right pity party! i apologise!

lotsofcheese · 28/10/2012 12:06

Oh wilder -really sorry to hear you're having a stressful weekend.

FWIW, I think your friend's decision not to come is more about them than you - perhaps they're not ready to face people yet, as it's early days after their m/c. And the thought of spending time with someone who is pg must be very hard after a recent m/c. I know I couldn't have. I do think you have approached the situation sensitively & I expect your friends are very grateful for that. Please don't blame yourself.

As for the spotting -is your EPAU open at weekends? How would you feel about calling them? Have you had bleeding/spotting in this pregnancy? Sorry to ask so many questions at a difficult time. Personally, I would phone - it's quite a wait till your next scan.

Big hugs from me. I know how shite it is at this stage x

Daisybell1 · 28/10/2012 12:07

Wilde, your post struck a real cord with me. You are not alone in feeling like this. Our best friends baby was stillborn just when I found out I was pregnant with dd. I felt all the you are feeling - I made a pact with god that I would mc and that their baby would be ok, I wanted to give them my baby and I certainly felt like they deserved her more.

We didn't see them for the whole of my pg and they only felt able to see us once they were pg again.

So what you're saying makes perfect sense. But it's not about you, and you're certainly not bad for being pg, it's just their way of coping (and I had counselling to help me see that, I'm not just saying it!) and they will come back when they feel strong enough.

Spotting must be stressful, can you tell oh to help share the burden?

wilderumpus · 28/10/2012 12:57

daisy you got a faint BFP? how long ago was your mc? and have you had a negative test since?

thanks ladies. i know it isn't about me, I really, really do and feel so selfish for making it about me. But this is the only place I can be honest as we all know how it feels to have mc'ed, and to see (hide from) That Pregnant Woman... and now I am that woman I just want to say 'no! no I'm not! I am nice and just like you!' But of course i am not, because I am pg and so just cannot be the person to look after them or be anywhere near them :( poo.

daisy am fascinated you felt the same about feeling like you should give them your baby. I thought that was just me being super weird but maybe it is just us trying to make it all better for our friends' terrible sadness - because we know how shit it all is.

cheese I have had spotting three times before in this pg and had scans after the first two that were fine, so the MWs at my booking in and at the scan said not to worry, and unless I have bad cramping, red blood etc just go with it. I just feel a bit on edge, maybe because of thinking about mc so much with my friends. They didn't mc until 11 weeks :(. Might ring MW tomorrow just for reassurance if I have any more as they said to call whenever even if I just needed a bit of a cry on their shoulder. aw.

11 weeks today... ho hum.

Daisybell1 · 28/10/2012 14:11

Wilde, don't feel selfish about how you feel - your friends have inadvertently made you feel this way, it's no one's fault, and it's certainly not personal to you.

I wanted to give our friends dd as I felt they deserved a baby far more - together longer, married, did everything 'right' if that makes sense. They've since had their ds but we're still uming and ahing over things like should they be dd's guardians if anything happens to us as are we replacing their lost dc1.

I'd phone mw tomorrow if I were you - they may be able to bring your scan forward?

Yes it's a very faint bfp, too faint for it to tie in well with the timing of ov sticks smiley face so am convincing myself it's due to retained stuff, even though I've had a few bfns since. Dr has referred me for a scan in the next couple of weeks so we'll find out then. I can't face doing another test only for it to still be pale [wimper]

wilderumpus · 28/10/2012 14:22

good luck daisy! thanks for your counselling :) Have had a big lunch, a wee cry to DH and am feeling much more settled about it all this aft. Am glad my friends are able to say they can't come and not come out of politeness, and am also glad that she is doing what she feels she needs to do to protect herself and heal at this awful time. All I can do is just be there if and when she ever needs me, and to celebrate when her next baby is born.

Actually, they are the ungodly parents of DS! we have a will that says if anything happens to us they will look after him as I can't imagine better parents.

hmmm if you had BFNs then you just never know. fingers crossed for you. maybe do another test in a couple of days? a FRER? :)

lotsofcheese · 29/10/2012 08:03

How are you feeling today, wilderumpus?

Hoping it's a better day today for you. I have my 12 week scan next Thursday too. The reassurance of last week's scan has worn off & I'm feeling distinctly non-pregnant as well. Wish I could switch my mind off........

Jollyb · 29/10/2012 08:44

wilde hope you're feeling better. I must admit I thought your friend was being a bit over sensitive by cancelling the trip but then last night I got the phone call I had been dreading - a close friend called to say that she is pregnant. I feel so irrationally upset by this news and I don't know why. I think it is because we went through our first pregnancies together. She also had been adamant that she didn't think she wanted a second child (so i think I had her marked out as my singleton child friend). She then told me it was an 'accident' which is not music to the ears of a woman who has been TTC for 12 months with 3 MC along the way.

So DP had to put up with me sobbing about how unfair it all was. I managed to make a close friend feel awful and I feel lousy for it. DP then gave me the 'I think you need to relax about it all' lecture.

My point of the story is that I don't think I'd be able to spend a weekend with this couple anytime in the near future - despite them being lovely and sensitive people.

To make me feel worse about my reaction we had spent the weekend with another couple. This couple had a baby who died shortly after birth last year, and they have behaved with complete dignity since. They have never once made us feel awkward for talking about our daughter and always spoil and welcome her when we stay with them.

Anyhow - I'm hoping this vent serves some therapeutic purpose.

Hope everyone's ok. Good luck for your scan cheese.