Gather up your fertility spells and sign in for the lentil-weaving BESH woo hippy thread!

[FrankelSaysRelax]

Greetings sisters [puts flowers in hair]

Bring your very best woo & let's see if we can magick up a few baybees (insta-differs not allowed).

New recruits are required to locate the BESH spell aka the BESHtionnaire and submit for further scrutiny.

[dances round bare foot]

I guess so norf, but no-one does.

Yes, facebook. Knowing full well I am only 7 weeks diffed! MSB said don't worry she swims in different circles to us And I replied I think she swims on a different planet! I hope she has taken it down now. She only put that she was going to be a granny so we could always play dumb and ask which of her step-kids is diffed!

Stupid relative.

On the continent white coats are v much worn. They think we're a bit weird and I agree The infection control 'evidence' amounts to common sense - washing hands is good, false nails are bad, unwashed clothes are bad.

Personally, I miss my white coat.

It would never work with the goat herding though, rosie.

I liked wearing a white lab coat at 6th form for biology. To be fair, most of our infection control is like that though. Oh wear a pinny a gloves when giving personal care. Put infectious folks in side rooms.

Tis true. Goats have no respect for good tailoring.

Do you think we've enticed the newbie to try the BESHtionnaire?

If she's scared off, it was your talk of armpit weaving, not my skirt wot dun it.

Harrumph.

Where the f did all these rabbits come from?

They mate like....well.....rabbits?!

I don't think she's a been but an in retirement BESH. No idea who though!!

I'm assuming you're saying she's not a newbie. But she does refer to dh. But she if v luffly about us... I'm still thinking lurker rather than oldbie.

I have no idea who she is. I'm off to sleep on a bed of roses!

Which newbie where?

A thread in conception called "Calling all BESH" or something similar.

Am really wakeful and anxious about going back to hospital this morning :(

Eep. When are you going in?

Do you have to travel back to the big smoke? Did the reg get back to you?

The veteran BESH thread is over there.

Thinking of you this morning norf and lemons.

jethro how did the open evening go?

Hope we can entice the new BESH onto the fred. Could do with some fresh meet (and a newbie to rub up against for luck).

CD 8 here and GFBW and I are going to a nice hotel for the weekend. Let the shagging commence!

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Worship a bottle of Hendricks that lives high on a shelf, no one admits to sneaking it while TTC, but it's been looking a little light lately.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

So older and poorer was not a win then?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

The one on the tip of a turkey baster?

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Say don't bother, you probably are, especially if you're on my Facebook list.

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

If he's not a baybee making contraption I'm really not interested right now, thanks for calling.

6. what colour are your walls?

Speckled. Not on purpose. In a I-don't-need-kids-to-explain-away-my-spillages sort of way.

7. Number of pets?

2

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

I revel in my crushes, like when I announced to my mother at age 11 that I would grow up and marry Jean-Luc Picard.

9. Lesbian crush?

Nice laydee doctor, me love you long time, just give us a baybee.

10. What are your views on camping?

Like, outside? Erm. Are there sexual favours involved?

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

iv) Pennies, have people smuggle them in from third world countries disguised as cocktail stirrers.

Morning ftw. I like the cut of your gib. Sounds like you'll fit in with the rest of us old crones. Are you wearing a patchwork skirt/ alfalfa sandals/ doused in patchouli?

Am here now, rosyposy. Have been waiting since 9am. A nice nurse gave me a cup of tea and I am am reading To The Lighthouse and feeling vaguely irritated by it.

Ooh, a new BESHtionnaire!

Massive snort of laughter at half the answers!

Park your bag of ishoos somewhere round the edge of the sacred circle, FTWoo, we could do with a new beanbag, now sinky has sat on all the rest in her delightful and original skirt.

I like it FTW! Jean-Luc Picard?! each to their own! Tell us a bit more about yourself :) I like that you have been lurking long enough to ask the BESH for advice!

what would you like to know?

Well, for a start you need a witty (yes, witty) acronym for your partner in sechs-crime.

And a hippy woo outfit.

But mostly just tell us your ttc history.

God I am so bored of this damned corridor. And I am starving, but don't dare to leave in case doctor shows up.

Bit of a cut and paste jobby:

Close to 3 years of TTC #1. The last year has been swallowed up in the excruciating climb up the NHS ladder. Sechs crime partner 44, myself 34 (times a tickin!)

Have had SAs, (low morphology I thought) but nurse at appt.#1 says nothing to fear. I have variable cycles, length ranges from 28-33 days (has calmed down this year was 30-46 days last year and before).

Day 3 'normal', Day 21 no ovulation (but I figured out later that the timing of test was way off).

And finally after months of waiting, and spending a small fortune in vitamins, we get to see the actual consultant!

I want them to throw everything they have at me, hold nothing back - poke, prod, zap, drug, do a woo woo dance.

My questions on other fred were:
What can I ask them to do and how do I make sure I don't get fobbed off?
How do they check if I'm ovulating? How do they check if the tubes are clear and ready for launch? Do they check egg quality/quantity? Do they just drug you up and send you on your way?

Thanks to faith and norf for help on some of those

We'll tell you about us so you see the kinds of thing we're nosy about interested in.

I am faith. 31 (just). Married to MSB - Mr Squidgy Baybee - he is very Squidgy and was singing the darn haribo advert when I picked his name. Started TTC Christmas 2009. One year futile sechsing (with a hard yo understand lack of enthusiasm from MSB, one year of investigations including fanny cam, HSG, bloods, JIAPs (plural) and a head MRI revealing a growth in MSB's pituitary gland making too much of done hormones and therefore not enough testosterone and so sluggish swimmers. One pill a week for 8 months (as well as a house fire and hospital stay for me) and I'm now 7 weeks diffed with DC1. Waiting for 12 week scan date. Written down like that makes me realise it's been a rather eventful time! We start Relate Monday night because we were arguing a lot before I got diffed - a fair bit of anger and hurt from all the TTC ishoos. Things are much better but we're going to go anyway to put the past to rest.

So that's us in a nutshell.

Praying he arrives soon norf to tell you what the flip is going on.

Question- when did the droid (what we call AF - therefore R2D2 is the root of all evil btw) arrive in comparison with your day 21 test? How many days later?