Gather up your fertility spells and sign in for the lentil-weaving BESH woo hippy thread!

[FrankelSaysRelax]

Greetings sisters [puts flowers in hair]

Bring your very best woo & let's see if we can magick up a few baybees (insta-differs not allowed).

New recruits are required to locate the BESH spell aka the BESHtionnaire and submit for further scrutiny.

[dances round bare foot]

Maybe you need to tell her. Just so she understands why you're not doing cartwheels for her? What the heck does it mean your hcg went up? The op wasn't successful?

I don't know, faif. If they left something behind, surely it would need to start growing again for the numbers to go back up. And how can half a millimetre of placenta or whatever start growing?

Am I diffed again? And if I am, it must be the fastest rediff in history. And also I am so so so so stupid for sechsing so soon because my tube will still have been inflamed from the op, and there is no way an egg could bumble through it. Shit. I know this is my own stupid fault. But really. Fuck.

Oh crap norf what a nightmare! Wait and see what the reg says....

Oh norf.

Any news from the hossy?

Could you tell your sister? I'm a fine one to take as was with my mum for the last 2 days, kept meaning to tell her, but kept biting my tongue.

Do you get on with the sister? I ask as someone with v little contact with my brother. Should he get his girlfriend diffed I don't think he would notice if I made no acknowledgement.

Went to see friend with 2 week old baby. Fraught is not the word - I know gina ford is popular, but a routine, at 2 weeks? Apparently I'm lucky I won't ever have to deal with a screaming baby.

Hope you're ok Lems

Yeah. Arsebiscuits.

Relationship with sister is a bit strained and competitive at the best of times, rosy. I couldn't tell her.

Still no news from hospital.

Am thinking of you lems, if you are lurking.

Fuck it then. Be cool. Be aloof. Smile and ensure conversations end hastily. then go to the loo and cry

Can you ring the hospital? This is an entirely appropriate time to be an irritating, demanding patient.

Oh, and anyone know the poster requesting BESH advice in the Fred title?

Personally, I'm feeling entirely swagger-free.

No clue rosiebear!

The only swagger I have is due to constipation

Just chased hospital. Doctor has gone missing and they hope to call me back in an hour. But I want to go to bed!!

I have an image of the doctor, with white coat, walking repeatedly into a wall/face pressed up against a window.

Very careless losing a doctor.

Poor lost doctor. And poor me! I want to put my pyjamas on and relax!

There is a farm shop opposite the hospital with Pygmy goats. Maybe he has gone to commune with them.

Selling pygmy goats?

Alas, they are just there to admire and talk to. I think. I might have to inquire if I can take them home with me next time. They are utterly adorable with their little trip-trappy feet and friendly faces.

Hospital just phoned. Doctor had returned from the goats and decreed that I come in for 9am tomorrow.

Arsebiscuits indeed. Any idea what's coming? (apart from an indeterminable wait and bad hospital coffee)

White coats are banned due to infection control reasons. Hurry up stupid doctor! He may well be handing over to the night team.

I want a Pygmy goat! We definitely need a small herd of goats on this thread.

Sinkyroselee doesn't believe in infection control.

I had a Biology tutor who had a tie dye lab coat....he would fit in!

On reflection, referring to myself in the third person just makes me look weird. As you were ladies.

And, if anyone was wondering, I'm back from a brief jaunt round the country, and ghj is on nights so I'm bored, alone, and half a bottle of wine down.

Why do white coats lead to uncontrolled infection, faith?

I have drunk a lot of wine recently, rosycheeks. Tonight is my first night off it in weeks. I am hoping to become brittle and glamorous in old age, as will befit my no doubt still childless status.

I am on my lonesome while MSB goes gallabanting in Devon seeing his family, including the monster in law for the first time in over 5 years.. he told her I'm diffed. She put it on FB! He had to point out it's too soon.

The white coat thing is the lack of frequency of washing, thereby spreading the germs. The only way to keep it clean would be to wash it daily.Same with ties. Only bow ties are allowed (and that just looks poncy). They did a study - doctors' ties were the second dirtiest place in the hospital. So smart clothes changed daily are doctors unofficial uniform.

I miss the idea of wine but the thought of drinking it makes me want to

So if you wore a clean white coat everyday it would be ok?

She PUT IT ON FACEBOOK? Oh my God! Did she take it down in time??