TTC for 10+ months, part 9

[akuabadoll]

Ladies, number 9. The lucky one.

ele - I just have never heard of cauterising the cervix. It really doesn't sound very pleasant , although sounds like it did the trick!

critter - your follie will be doing a grow spurt soon?.the golden perhaps?

buzzy - have you looked at the Serum clinic in Greece, or is that a lot more expensive than places in Czech?

sarlat - I am so sorry about ertd, especially after toying with you like that. It really does sound like your body is doing something. Anyway, now you should concentrate on your FET. Your little frosty will embed, it will, it will. And I love that you had a boogie in the kitchen. I have been trying to find a solution to how to deal with the misery when it gets me and wacking on some music and having a dance does work wonders.

mrsd - i'm very sorry that you have feeling miserable on holiday. It's awful when you look around you on holiday and just feel sad for what you don't have. Anyway, I hope you manage to perk up a bit.

buzzy - i am really sorry about everything getting too much for you. Looking at clinics is awful. That realisation of what you are actually looking for is so depressing.

coco - Sorry that MrC has said he doesn't want to go for ivf or adoption. Men do have a habit of changing their minds with a little gentle persuasion.

rum - sorry about AF.
and so I bought several blood type testing kits off amazon and had a fun one weekend whilst MrJ was out . My blood type turned out to be the rarest type?which of course got me googling links between infertility and ABneg. I hope you had fun up on the downs. It's beautiful up there - i was up there again this weekend. Very envious you can walk from your house.
care - i have the blood type diet book which I bought this year. I didn't know my blood type
I think a medical time out is a really good idea. There is only so much the body can take. Also have you been to DrG before? I did find him blunt. In the same sentence he said i was young but my ovaries were not in a good way. The rest of the hour I was lip reading him as i found it very difficult to hear or understand what he was saying .

gin - i'm glady your appt went ok. Antibiotics after EC is very common treatment apparently. It is also suppose to help implantation. I haven't heard of Proxeed. How funny you had to admit to a morning shag. . I find a bit of retail therapy a necessity after doc appointments.

princess - oh no, not another head fuck cycle. I was tuning in this morning and hoping to see a positive message from you . Do you normally get metallic taste?

pout - my acupuncturist said going to DrG to get my immunes done will definitely throw up something because it always does for everyone. I guess the question is whether it is a true problem or not. But we can exhaust ourselves with potential theories and worries about why we aren't getting updiffed. I have a different worry every week. And if someone tells me something is rare, I immediately think I must have it! I am sorry you had a good cry with your doctor but sometimes it just can't be helped.

rabbit - good luck today and going back to school. First day back must be awful. Also commiserations about being the only cousin without kids - I am too. Thankfully I don't have to see the cousins. I am sorry you feel your cycle has been affected by the op. Were you given an indication of how long it would take to right itself?

doll - happy birthday.

Well I have been trying to make a concerted effort to appreciate what I have. I have the odd cry and panic about the journey coming up but I keep telling myself things could be worse. I know we all go through these stages and it usually ends in tears. I am not kidding myself, it is all part of the grisly cycle but I have been formulating a plan to keep myself busy and to get myself a new career which will involve re-training and then I can set up my own business. I would have retrained if I had had kids anyway but I have decided to kick it off now. Motherhood seems to define a lot of my friends (which I wouldn't want if i was a mum) and my ttc woes have defined my life for the past 2.5yrs which is such a waste of time. I need something to feel positive and excited about. TTC will be there/is there but I just want to be able to shift it ever so slightly to the side of my brain as opposed to right slap in the middle. Of course a hard objective considering ops and ivf coming up. Well my course doesn't start until the beginning of next year but I feel positive about it for the time being. I know there is no masking the sadness as it is always there but for the time being I am doing all that i can in terms of ttc and really it's in the hands of the gods and science right now.

gin me 34, Mr Gin 33. Ttc too long to count 26 months. Mr Gin has OATS - v low count, crap morphology and motility. Things with me seem to be ok. One failed icsi round in April, using mild ivf and planning a fresh round in October/Nov.

rum 31, Mr Rum 30. TTC 22 months. 2 early MCs. Diagnosed "Unexplained", HSG soonish, another year to wait for NHS IVF.

akuabadoll me 40 Mr Doll 47, TTC over 10 years, never pg. "Unexplained" and living in hope.

Sarlat - me 32, Mr Sar 48. TTC 2.5 years. 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks when first began TTC. Hydrosalpinx on left tube but not fully blocked and suspicious, sluggish right tube and no known cause of tubal issues. DH has borderline morphology and motility but very high counts. 1 failed fresh cycle of IVF and natural cycle FET to come Autumn.

Joycep - me 32, mrj 30. TTC 2.5 years. 1 m/c at 7 weeks when we first started. Clomid, gonalF& IUI, HSG. AMH fallen off a cliff in 18 months now very low. Hidden-C found. Lap&Hysteo coming up. Immunes being tested. IVF hopefully Dec.

care - My post to you really doens't make sense, things have cut and pasted in weird places..hope you can decipher it .

at the one mitten doll

joyce hurray for a new focus and plan, that sounds really good and hopefully it will take your mind just a little off ttc.

I'm at my desk. I have worked part time all through august but this is it, back at the coalface with 1 days leave between now and Xmas. Shouldn't grumble! I got up early and did my yoga, it really does help me. No students yet, just infinite meetings. I'm hoping there will be lots of chatting today on here!

Princess I am actually very hacked off on your behalf.

Joy I love love love your plan and thinking, you're so right and have inspired me. I am very intrigued as to what you will retrain in.

Rabbit boo to the new term.

rabbit Little Doll exists just to freak out his nursery teachers. They are easily freaked out though. Raised eyebrows over the mitten, agreed it's not seasonal and not a pair but sometimes you would think they have never seen a toddler before. The best though is when he decides to put in some hair slides, that really upsets things (around these parts this will 'turn him gay'). I have bought him a few accessories myself

I have a haircut fit for an 8 year old girl. In fact I think this is the haircut my month gave me while sitting on the kitchen stool the day before the new term started. My hair had been getting really long due to hairdresser avoidance, they do love a bit of layering around the face here a la 1980's episode of 'Friends' so I was just staying away from that conversation. New hairdresser, same need to layer around the face, same ban imposed by me with reminder that my hair is really thick and needs to be thinned/layered though the back and sides to avoid it standing out like a triangle. Got the triangle. Don't go thinking- slick blunt boob with dark shinning bolt-straight hair. More fuzzy, straight/semi wavy depending on the humidity in 10 shades of dirty blonde. In a triangle.

rabbit at "342 cycles ago". Time does get broken down into cycles rather than months and years. It's so tiring this continual waiting. With little milestones ticking away the days. waiting for AF, waiting for AF to stop, waiting to bonk, waiting for the next AF....

pout MrC doesn't want to make ttc "technical" Before we started he said that he didn't want to become one of those baby obsessed couples I'm not really ok with it but also not ready to try the other options yet, I'd just like to know that they are there for me if the natural approach doesn't work.

My cycles are screwed, I don't know what's going on! I'm on CD 17 and have been spotting for 5 days, so only had 5 days gap between end of AF and start of this. Thinking about it the ewcm was a bit pink on its second day. I thought this might be the start of a new AF (two visits in one month, lucky me) but it's not amounted to anything yet... Plus my 'normal' cycles are looong (and random) 34-59 and anywhere in between, so 15/18 makes no sense...

My info:

coco me 37, MrCoco 43, ttc 15 months. Got BFP after 12months and had mc just after 12wk scan. Always had erratic cycles so assumed from young age that would have trouble conceiving (took sooo many HPTs as a teenager because of AWOL AF ) but not had lady bits checked officially yet.

My last post seems to have the word 'month' where it should have 'mother'. Yes Coco time does get broken into cycles and perhaps when I start writing 'cycle' in the place of 'mother' I'll know things have got really bad.

Sorry to hear about the crazy cycles, I don't have advice. Mine are short and regular and always have been. Rubbish at the getting pg part though I have a friend who, like you, thought she would have problems due to long and random cycles. She just gave birth to number two.

That's good to know doll
I'd be happy with just the one. All else fails, I'm moving to the country side and buying a dog and MrC can just deal !

Morning all

Gin I'm glad the appt went OK in the end. I am at your naughtiness re the fanny cam. Hurrah for retail therapy. I'm not a big shopper but TTC woes are responsible for some of the more pricey items in my wardrobe bought to 'cheer myself up'.

Mrsden I hope you're relaxing into your holiday and feeling better. When I was away the pool was full of glamorous Italian teenagers ladyboys and a bikini clad preggo. The teenagers were the more annoying tbh. I can't recall being quite so witless at that age (definitely wasn't so glamorous). The continual genital adjustment by budgie smuggling teenage boys really freaked me out but at least provided a distraction from the preggo

Akuaba happy birthday for yesterday . Sorry for your haircut woes... I've had that haircut too. It is not 'just hair'! There are few things (outside of ttc) that can make you feel so crap about yourself as a bad haircut. And why do the good haircuts grow out twice as quickly as the bad? at Little Doll and the mitten. I've spent my whole life only ever being able to find one mitten and aside from cold fingers it hasn't done me any harm

Coco Mr A objected to the technical aspects of TTC as well but he's come round to IVF. He feels it should be my decision which sometimes feels like lack of support but I guess at least means that option is open to me. if Mr C can offer a cast iron way of not becoming baby obsessed I'd like to know it... in fact you could patent it and make a fortune Moving to the country and buying a dog is my plan B too. In fact when I see a stressed woman dragging a screaming toddler round the supermarket as I did yesterday I think it should be plan A

Hugs to Sarlat, Buzzy and Princess on the arrival of the witch. It's like Macbeth around here, three at once... I was hopeful for all of you. Buzzy it's especially cruel after the hassle and expense of IUI. The overseas clinic research sounds stressful. I had not even considered overseas clinics for IVF. Is the financial saving so great?

Care medical time out sounds like what you need. That's a big catalogue of treatment you've been through, I am in awe of you managing it so well. Though it offers hope to know that others have been through all this stuff and survived.

Bunny I still have hope that things will work out for you. Take care of yourself.

Rabbit if you have any UTI tips I'd love to hear them... hope you survive the first day back. Glad you had a good weekend with the family. I tend to dread occasions like that, being the only barren, but actually they are usually better than I imagine.

Joy I am liking your positivity at the moment. I shall take a leaf out of your book, along with Sar's do one nice thing every day. Retraining and a new business sounds exciting. I'm self employed, it is hard work but I have never once regretted the decision.

Cheering your follie on Critter, when do you get scanned again?

Rum you just make me think of mojitos. Or caipirinhas... mmm

I've just been back to the GP for some more antibiotics as I'm still not free of the UTI. It seems there is a different (better) antib they could have given me but that is incompatible with pregnancy. I pointed out that I too am incompatible with pregnancy and the likelihood of me being updiffed after one mediocre shag on CD8 is minimal but we agreed on the 'better safe than sorry' route. The GP asked how the infertility investigations were going and I had a bit of a rant but do feel a bit better for it. He was sympathetic and didn't tell me to 'just relax'. He also told me how to go about getting a referral letter for a private clinic and said it shouldn't be a problem getting copies of test results so i feel a bit better about that.

Right, must add my info to the list and then do some actual work today...

I meant to add Pout i was told that clomid somehow improves ovulation even if you are ovulating anyway... I'm not sure how; I think it improves the corpus luteum and therefore progesterone levels which increases the likelihood of a bean sticking. That may be why your progesterone was so high, though to hear a doctor say she thought you were pregnant, that would make anyone cry. One egg is what you're supposed to get on clomid I think, though there is an increased chance of multiples with it - one follie usually takes over and stops the rest from maturing. Though my knowledge is gleaned from Dr Google so should probably be taken with a big pinch of salt . How are you feeling on the lower dose?

gin me 34, Mr Gin 33. Ttc too long to count 26 months. Mr Gin has OATS - v low count, crap morphology and motility. Things with me seem to be ok. One failed icsi round in April, using mild ivf and planning a fresh round in October/Nov.

rum 31, Mr Rum 30. TTC 22 months. 2 early MCs. Diagnosed "Unexplained", HSG soonish, another year to wait for NHS IVF.

akuabadoll me 40 Mr Doll 47, TTC over 10 years, never pg. "Unexplained" and living in hope.

Sarlat - me 32, Mr Sar 48. TTC 2.5 years. 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks when first began TTC. Hydrosalpinx on left tube but not fully blocked and suspicious, sluggish right tube and no known cause of tubal issues. DH has borderline morphology and motility but very high counts. 1 failed fresh cycle of IVF and natural cycle FET to come Autumn.

Joycep - me 32, mrj 30. TTC 2.5 years. 1 m/c at 7 weeks when we first started. Clomid, gonalF& IUI, HSG. AMH fallen off a cliff in 18 months now very low. Hidden-C found. Lap&Hysteo coming up. Immunes being tested. IVF hopefully Dec.

coco me 37, MrCoco 43, ttc 15 months. Got BFP after 12months and had mc just after 12wk scan. Always had erratic cycles so assumed from young age that would have trouble conceiving (took sooo many HPTs as a teenager because of AWOL AF ) but not had lady bits checked officially yet.

Artemis me 38, MrA 40, ttc 2.5 years with 1 mc at 6 weeks one year in. Bloods and SA fine therefore "unexplained"; been trying to get appt for HSG for past 3 months. Likely to go on NHS waiting list for IVF later this month.

Artemis in reference to your question to buzzy on overseas prices...someone who had IVF here (one round, successful) told me recently it was $2000

gin me 34, Mr Gin 33. Ttc too long to count 26 months. Mr Gin has OATS - v low count, crap morphology and motility. Things with me seem to be ok. One failed icsi round in April, using mild ivf and planning a fresh round in October/Nov.

rum 31, Mr Rum 30. TTC 22 months. 2 early MCs. Diagnosed "Unexplained", HSG soonish, another year to wait for NHS IVF.

akuabadoll me 40 Mr Doll 47, TTC over 10 years, never pg. "Unexplained" and living in hope.

Sarlat - me 32, Mr Sar 48. TTC 2.5 years. 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks when first began TTC. Hydrosalpinx on left tube but not fully blocked and suspicious, sluggish right tube and no known cause of tubal issues. DH has borderline morphology and motility but very high counts. 1 failed fresh cycle of IVF and natural cycle FET to come Autumn.

Joycep - me 32, mrj 30. TTC 2.5 years. 1 m/c at 7 weeks when we first started. Clomid, gonalF& IUI, HSG. AMH fallen off a cliff in 18 months now very low. Hidden-C found. Lap&Hysteo coming up. Immunes being tested. IVF hopefully Dec.

coco me 37, MrCoco 43, ttc 15 months. Got BFP after 12months and had mc just after 12wk scan. Always had erratic cycles so assumed from young age that would have trouble conceiving (took sooo many HPTs as a teenager because of AWOL AF ) but not had lady bits checked officially yet.

Artemis me 38, MrA 40, ttc 2.5 years with 1 mc at 6 weeks one year in. Bloods and SA fine therefore "unexplained"; been trying to get appt for HSG for past 3 months. Likely to go on NHS waiting list for IVF later this month.

mrsmellow me 34, MrM 39, ttc 13 months. No BFP's. polycystic ovaries and never knowingly ovulated alone, 3 cycles of stimulate ovulation (clomid [thin uterus], letrozole, letrozole), Laparoscopy and hysteroscopy - blocked left tube, right looks ok. Plan - 3 more stimulated cycles +/- IUI if right sided follicle, followed by IVF if unsuccessful.

Hi all,
coco don't give up on MrCoco yet- he's probably thinking that if you've had one natural BFP, then you can have another - he might be right, fingers crossed -have heard of increased fertility after miscarriage ? urban legend?

mrsd don't be blue on holiday, I bet MrD loves you in your bikini. Ignore, ignore

princess sarlat buzzy sorry to hear about AF. bitch
artemis so annoying re UTI, hope it clears up soon - what AB wouldn't they give you out of interest? And pout from my reading, what artemis says about clomid is what I understood as well... not to say that means it is accurate!
doll love the mitten
rabbit hope first day back is going swiftly
I'm back at work, struggle to find clothes that don't feel like they're rubbing the wounds....bloated so much over the weekend - at least I looked pregnant
DH away and if I'm going to ov, it will be this week - oh well, I'm hardly at my sexiest and have no form for ovulating without stimulation (will still pee on sticks just in case to find out - would make me very happy if I did, even if he is away!)
sorry, I have missed people, but have to run to a meeting, will check in later

Hello all,

My it's busy! Thanks for all of your support against the early arrival of the bitch.

waves to any newbies I haven't welcomed yet... you're amongst a brill bunch of peeps here.

Rabbit hope your first day back is going smoothly albeit meetings in prep of the new term. Hope you are not feeling too tired.

MrsM hope you are getting on ok with your wound. I think you are very brave to be back already! What a trooper! FX for good ov this month :)

MrsD as everyone else has said I hope you are having a nice hols. I know that feeling well though, I had my small last day melt down over the lady with the best tan, huge boobs, tiny waist and cutest 6 year old little girl. Grrr still, still she had a minging, fat husband with stretch marks on his huge tummy, hanging over his shorts. Eurgh. Goes to show you can't have it all. Enjoy those cocktails and the sun :) As someone else said, I'm sure Mr D thinks you're gorgeous in your bikini :)

Buzzy so sorry it didn't work when everything was looking so promising. I hope that Mr B is ok, especially with the work situation. No-one needs the added stress on top of all of this. I hope you find a solution that feels right to you re IVF and going overseas.

Gin glad your IVF appointment went well. at avoiding the fannycam. I also like your idea of buying a treat as a trade off for the appointment. I will do that in a couple of weeks after my appointment with the consultant.

Doll happy birthday for yesterday. Sorry to hear about the hair, here have a And mini doll made me really laugh today with tales of his one mitten wonder act (and hair slides) My brother used to insist on going swimming with one sock on for a while when he was really small.

Sar Yup, period was one day early. I usually ov on cd16 and have a 28 day cycle; my luteal phase has been 12 days for the past few months. This cycle was ov on day 16 and 27 days long. I don't really know what it was before because I didn't really keep track properly but I think it was shorter. My temps were all over the shop last year. I'm not sure. I keep thinking that maybe having a few more [wines] than usual and not drinking my daily veg juices and forgetting to take my vits on hols has knocked my vit B and that my luteal phase has shortened. DH said that I shouldn't be fussing over a day. An 11 day luteal phase is only just enough and that does worry me a bit. Sorry the witch got you too. I like your positivity and dancing etc I should probably try that rather than wallowing like a teenager in a pit of gloomy, wine fueled despair. It was actually easier when we weren't trying and I was concentrating on the brown diet.

Artemis I'm sorry that the UTI persists. That is rubbish. Can I ask a really dumb question? Why do you need a referral letter for a private clinic? Can you not just rock up?

Joy I'm loving your positive thinking, re-training and setting up your own business - way to go!

Coco love your moving to the country and getting a dog. We're sort of half way to doing that. Although we've decided to leave getting dogs for now and we'll come back to it in the future.

Well, despite best efforts to be 'stiff upper lip' yesterday in the face of an early-ish period I ended up admitting to DH that I am depressed, not coping and on the verge of wanting to give up. Sometimes it just seems to be too much. It doesn't help that a few days ago I was utterly convinced I was pregnant and really hoping that I wouldn't need to go and see the consultant in a fortnight Still I knew that I was going to be upset if it didn't work this month - so the choice is positivity for a couple of weeks and then doom day or constantly depressed and doom day. Anyway, I sent my 'anger' notes (dealing with many things and not just TTC) to the therapist today. I've also started a list entitled "What my childfree life will look like..." because that will give me the focus of things that I want to achieve and may prompt a bit more positive action. I've also written the "What I'm most scared about in my childfree future..." Both are quite cathartic activities because I realised that I'm looking forward to more things than I am scared. For someone who is keen on philosophy and still thinking about that degree, I do wonder if I will be able to come to some sort of rational way of thinking on all of this and then maybe use this experience in my 'childfree future'. I mean, as far as I am concerned, we are but animals here to reproduce. However, we have conscious thought and would appear superior to other things crawling around the planet. If we can't reproduce for whatever reason, then what is the meaning of life? Why are we here? I obviously haven't figured it out yet. If I had, I would be dealing with this a whole bunch better. But I feel that I'm on the start of my road to enlightenment. I also strayed on to the 'More to Life' website last night. They are a charity for people who are involuntarily childless and I really liked a saying that was on one of the stories about how being involuntarily childless is a huge loss and that people need to grieve. One lady said that not having children was worse than nursing both of her parents during their final days. Her local vicar said that: "grief is like a rucksack full of rocks that you take out on a long journey. At the start it's unbearable but as time moves on and you get further down your journey the rucksack becomes lighter and sometimes you forget it's there. But it is always there and will never go. It's just that you become stronger and learn to deal with it better". I feel my rucksack is very heavy at the moment and my quest is to get fitter to deal with this better. Anyway, venturing to the worst case scenario has made me realise that there is a positive future whatever happens. It's just deciding when to stop. Absolutely shocked that some people have years of successful treatment, are unexplained and have had enough that they start using contraception again and have a defining moment where they conclude enough is enough. Apparently, you just know. It did make me think when my cut off point will be....

DH admitted that he has no urge to adopt last night, he's not even keen on IVF but he'll do whatever I want. He just wants me to be happy much more than he wants children. I'm not even sure from his honesty that he even really wants children at the moment. It all adds another layer of complexity to the already densely layered shit cake of TTC.

So, rock and roll month of TTC failed miserably. This month, I will be taking my vitamins every day, ordering a new BBT thermometre and charting again, I will be writing a lot more to help me deal with the fears and possibilities, I will be keeping calm about the house situation, I will not be turning our sex life into some Olympic type endurance sport (esp not at the PILs!!!!!) of daily competition. I will also be working as there is work to do. And I will be asking the consultant a lot more questions this time. DH also said that he won't let me subjected to any more shit because on reflection he's not happy about the consultant talking over me like last time and that he will take him to task if he does it again.

In other news, my bath came back today and she's beautiful now she's had her make over :) I've also convinced DH to put a speaker into the ceiling about the bath.

Sorry if I missed anyone over the weekend. Limp tail feather shake and weak pom pom rustle on this semi-gloomy CD2 in princess world. xxxxxx

gin me 34, Mr Gin 33. Ttc too long to count 26 months. Mr Gin has OATS - v low count, crap morphology and motility. Things with me seem to be ok. One failed icsi round in April, using mild ivf and planning a fresh round in October/Nov.

rum 31, Mr Rum 30. TTC 22 months. 2 early MCs. Diagnosed "Unexplained", HSG soonish, another year to wait for NHS IVF.

akuabadoll me 40 Mr Doll 47, TTC over 10 years, never pg. "Unexplained" and living in hope.

Sarlat - me 32, Mr Sar 48. TTC 2.5 years. 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks when first began TTC. Hydrosalpinx on left tube but not fully blocked and suspicious, sluggish right tube and no known cause of tubal issues. DH has borderline morphology and motility but very high counts. 1 failed fresh cycle of IVF and natural cycle FET to come Autumn.

Joycep - me 32, mrj 30. TTC 2.5 years. 1 m/c at 7 weeks when we first started. Clomid, gonalF& IUI, HSG. AMH fallen off a cliff in 18 months now very low. Hidden-C found. Lap&Hysteo coming up. Immunes being tested. IVF hopefully Dec.

coco me 37, MrCoco 43, ttc 15 months. Got BFP after 12months and had mc just after 12wk scan. Always had erratic cycles so assumed from young age that would have trouble conceiving (took sooo many HPTs as a teenager because of AWOL AF ) but not had lady bits checked officially yet.

Artemis me 38, MrA 40, ttc 2.5 years with 1 mc at 6 weeks one year in. Bloods and SA fine therefore "unexplained"; been trying to get appt for HSG for past 3 months. Likely to go on NHS waiting list for IVF later this month.

Princesschick me 30, Mr Princess 34, TTC on and off over 3 years, into 24th cycle, 2 MCs both at just over 6 weeks, poss blighted ovum in Jan 12. Bloods and SA fine, right ovary has polycycstic appearance. 7DPO test shows that prog was 30.1 (bit on the low side for my liking). Nutritionist suspects luteal phase defect. Not sure what tests next, appointment with consultant in two weeks. Considering mild IVF in Jan 13 if no BFP by then.

joycep I'm looking into it but I hate Athens its a shit hole, in fact I would go as far to say it is one of the worst places I have ever been to, I also haven't heard much about Serum in the IVF front, I know that there is a good clinic in Cyprus too bust most of the women seem to recommend places in the Czech Republic. Ooooh are you allowed to say what you will retrain as??? nosey cow emoticon

rabbit glad yo have survived the first day back at school :)

artemis that is what we are looking into. Obviously we have to look into the cost of travel at reasonably short notice and accommodation plus time off work. I surmise that it will roughly cost about £1000-£1200 plus the cost of the IVF for overseas, I'm just waiting to here from my friend who is making her pet project until she can have her immune testing and then can start TTC herself again. If money wasn't an issue I'd go straight back to Shehata.

doll at the mitten, $2000, that a bargain!!

mrsm take it easy and look after yourself, fingers crossed for ovulation

princess going overseas isn't my first option but need to look into it. I can totally relate to doom and tears and feeling depressed in fact all of your post really, poor Mr B worries about the affect this is all having on me and the affects of the drugs, he also said he was worried about what kind of pregnancy I'd have and the affects it could have on my health, we both had a cry on the weekend.
Well done to Mr P saying he's not happy about the consultant :) when do you officially move in with PIL ??

Well most of the women who were on the Super ovulation thread seem to now be pregnant accept me :(. Just over a week until my next counselling session. One of the rotational OT's is back, I know she had IVF and then adopted her two little girls so might see if she is willing to chat about it. MIL has said that she will help with the cost of IVF, thought I'd wait until she is back off her hols before I tell her how much it is.
I asked Shehata's nurse who i should see regarding my next step, she said Shehata for the immunes and Gaffar for the IVF, that would be two appointments!!! I turn up in my work uniform so I hardly look rich!!! I think I'll chance it by going to see Gaffar and hope he will just call Shehata for advice, thats what happened last time.

Waves to everyone from my little corner of the marquee

gin me 34, Mr Gin 33. Ttc too long to count 26 months. Mr Gin has OATS - v low count, crap morphology and motility. Things with me seem to be ok. One failed icsi round in April, using mild ivf and planning a fresh round in October/Nov.

rum 31, Mr Rum 30. TTC 22 months. 2 early MCs. Diagnosed "Unexplained", HSG soonish, another year to wait for NHS IVF.

akuabadoll me 40 Mr Doll 47, TTC over 10 years, never pg. "Unexplained" and living in hope.

Sarlat - me 32, Mr Sar 48. TTC 2.5 years. 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks when first began TTC. Hydrosalpinx on left tube but not fully blocked and suspicious, sluggish right tube and no known cause of tubal issues. DH has borderline morphology and motility but very high counts. 1 failed fresh cycle of IVF and natural cycle FET to come Autumn.

Joycep - me 32, mrj 30. TTC 2.5 years. 1 m/c at 7 weeks when we first started. Clomid, gonalF& IUI, HSG. AMH fallen off a cliff in 18 months now very low. Hidden-C found. Lap&Hysteo coming up. Immunes being tested. IVF hopefully Dec.

coco me 37, MrCoco 43, ttc 15 months. Got BFP after 12months and had mc just after 12wk scan. Always had erratic cycles so assumed from young age that would have trouble conceiving (took sooo many HPTs as a teenager because of AWOL AF ) but not had lady bits checked officially yet.

Artemis me 38, MrA 40, ttc 2.5 years with 1 mc at 6 weeks one year in. Bloods and SA fine therefore "unexplained"; been trying to get appt for HSG for past 3 months. Likely to go on NHS waiting list for IVF later this month.

Princesschick me 30, Mr Princess 34, TTC on and off over 3 years, into 24th cycle, 2 MCs both at just over 6 weeks, poss blighted ovum in Jan 12. Bloods and SA fine, right ovary has polycycstic appearance. 7DPO test shows that prog was 30.1 (bit on the low side for my liking). Nutritionist suspects luteal phase defect. Not sure what tests next, appointment with consultant in two weeks. Considering mild IVF in Jan 13 if no BFP by then.

buzzy me 39 DH 38, TTC #1 for 16 cycles, miscarriages in June 2011 @ 6 weeks and October 2011 @ 10 weeks, 2 x ERPC's with a perforated uterus. Diagnosed with High NK cells, 5 cycle of Super Ovulation on Tamxifen and Gonal F, 1 round of IUI with SO. Looking into ICSI here and abroad.

buzzy a bargain indeed (just the cost quoted to me by this one women who's twins are 1.5 years now, mind). It did promote yet another wine fuelled IVF conversation between the dolls - should you do something because it's much cheaper than you thought? Useless rambling. I have to go back for a follow-up visit next week 'cause I had/have this bloody cyst (I just know it's still there...). I will ask for costs and more important stats on outcomes.

doll I wouldn't mind paying UK prices if they could guarantee it would work. A woman reckoned that the states has a 50% success rate if it did I would consider going there. If I'm trying IVF I would want twins!! Thank you :)

Indeed buzzy a fiver is not a bargain if it doesn't work. Payment on delivery (of a baby) I say. Seriously.

Akuaba wow at the $2k price tag. No wonder IVF is more common where you are. Maybe we should all rent a pad (big marquee) and set up an IVF crack house over there. Do you think they'd do discounts for bulk orders? Payment on delivery, twins all round

Buzzy good luck with your researches. I guess there may be a trade off between it being more cost effective going overseas and the potential stress involved. Do you know how long you'd be away for - would you travel straight back after egg transfer? My turn for the

Princess thank you for your philosophical post, it was really thought-provoking. I haven't time to respond properly now (yet another work trip to pack for) but it's helpful to know someone else is musing over these same issues. I found the More to Life website a while back (they have posters up on the walls at the clinic ) though i'm not quite willing to see myself that way yet. I do like the idea of the lists - it might help me to articulate my fears. I also found the Gateway Women blog which is a bit strident but sometimes strikes a chord particularly on the way child free women can be perceived by the rest of the world. I sometimes wonder if that's the thing I find most hurtful - as if it wasn't bad enough not being able to have children but also being perceived as somehow of less worth as a human being because of it.

MrsM blimey back at work already, that's dedication. Hope you're feeling OK.

I'd better go and check the weather forecast to find out what kind of stuff to take with me. I hate packing for work trips. I always end up inappropriately dressed. One of my friends refers to work clothing as 'twat wear' which always makes me

Artemis thanks for the hair sympathy earlier today. Twat wear, god yes. Mine field. I was myself inappropriately at some embassy thing that I misunderstood last week. Now I've got the haircut to help out. Regarding the IVF crack house - at your service, no marquee needed

Artemis at twat wear. Ha ha ha. I haven't done twat wear for a while but have a gathering to go to next week, which will either involve a) digging out something appropriate from storage or b) buying something new that I will only wear once. Unless I go for an interview or Dad makes me redundant. Both highly unlikely. Oh the dilemma. And then I've got to find shoes too. Thanks for the link - I shall have a read now as I find myself with spare time this evening. I found this whilst musing 'the meaning of life (without a potentially functioning reproductive system)' feministphilosophers.wordpress.com/2011/11/30/on-becoming-infertile-part-1/ I'm having to ponder all of this stuff as part of my brain reprogramming therapy. 'Involuntary childlessness' makes me feel queasy, empowered, grief stricken, wise beyond my years, like a proper feminist, and many other things all at the same time. Especially as it focuses the mind on how there are other people going through it. I'm not going to hide that it could happen to me, I'm not special and therefore don't expect a stork to swoop down and land a baby in my lap because I feel a bit sad about this. I found reading the stories on the More to Life useful and insightful - although they did invoke some hearty sobs last night. However, in order to prepare I've put 'Join More to Life' on my list of "In my childfree future I will..." along with, wine tasting - possibly leading to a career in this field" and "philosophy degree" and "enjoy a beautiful clutter free home" BTW there are many, many other points in my list. It's certainly helped me to regroup and provided me with lots of new things to google and find out about. Also, its made me realise that one of my greatest fears is being a strange old aunt rather than a crazy nan. However, perhaps strange aunt is an even better deal than crazy nan? More food for thought :)